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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Travel / Never Depend On Anybody That Is Outside The Country (51647 Views)
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Re: Never Depend On Anybody That Is Outside The Country by Albertone(m): 9:59pm On Nov 19, 2018 |
Such is life oo... 23 Likes |
Re: Never Depend On Anybody That Is Outside The Country by Nobody: 9:59pm On Nov 19, 2018 |
No one is obligated to help you even if thats what we are supposed to do. So loose the self entitlement, and pray the good Lord brings selfless genuine helpers your way. Strangers could come through for you when you thought family was gonna do it. 1 Like |
Re: Never Depend On Anybody That Is Outside The Country by Daboomb: 9:59pm On Nov 19, 2018 |
handsomeyitayo: Relax, maybe you hit him at the wrong time and he thought you were going to be bothering him for money. There are times when the head of those people abroad, runs-riot, due to the many problems they are facing. Sometime, it is the amount of debt thay have to pay-off every week (Electricity, gas, Telephone, Internet, transport, Housing, e.t.c....everything, Na-pay! ) and the thing can make some of them very "reactive", especially in the cold winter months Few weeks later, things might have changed. Just take your mind off it, you can even surprise him that you just called him to let him know that if he needs anything from Nigeria, including small cash, you are willing to help him. He will from then, see you in a different light 4 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Never Depend On Anybody That Is Outside The Country by Cas1741: 10:00pm On Nov 19, 2018 |
Most of you responding miss the point, the guy is not asking for money, at least not apparent for now. Nothing wrong with a brother whom you assisted whether it is financial or moral, to say, "bro, I arrived safely, thank you for everything, I will keep in touch." You don't need all the time or money in this world to show appreciation. Those shoes and jacket may not be pricy or fashionable but they served a significant purpose at that time, it was also a sacrifice that the giver had no obligation to do. I assisted a cousin travel to usa one time, did crowd pulling send off party and never heard from him again. When I came here in Canada, we connected briefly when he was going home on a visit. He got me to believe he is a changed man, I sent him my first savings to give to my parents, he took the money, never said a word to them. It is over 20yrs now and am glad we severed the umblical cord of familial relationship for ever. Conversely, I have a wonderful friend who gave helping hands to me morally when I was coming here, we started keeping in touch the very week I arrived even with all the culture shock, stress of one month behind classes and trying to navigate my way around with no relatives. I remember being the only black person in each class I attended, yet, a few mins to say, hello did not take anything away from me. My friend had a good job then, but lost it shortly and has never been lucky with jobs. Yet, we speak to each other at least twice in a month and stay together whenever I am in nig. I sleep in his poorly furnished place because it doesn't matter. His wife onetime cried that she doesn't understand how I could come from Canada, appear to be doing well, come and eat in their leaking kitchen, no light, no air conditioner etc. People baffle at our friendship. Friendship, relationship in general, transcends material things if you care. My friend's son is reading medicine outside Nig. now and I assist financially whenever I can. Yes we are daunted daily with calls for help and nobody asks or cares how you are surviving, still, it doesn't diminish the basic human decency. There is a maxim that says: "be kind to those you meet going up because you may meet them again on your way coming down". It doesn't take much to be a good person regardless of your circumstances, it takes a lot to be a bad person, unfortunately, some people choose evil over good. His guy had the time to block him instead of acknowledging him, that is pure wrong. No condition is permanent as we say back home. He has time to send money to a girlfriend (nothing wrong with that), but has no time for a few mins pleasantries with a relative, pure wrong. 35 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Never Depend On Anybody That Is Outside The Country by Shikena(m): 10:01pm On Nov 19, 2018 |
Alezy:It is difficult for you to understand but for some, it is their reality. You are bombarded with calls and messages, 20 calls a day and 19 were about different stories all ending with need for finance for one thing or the other. A friend just got out of the hospital due to a minor workplace injury and his cousin was fighting him on the phone for not picking his calls for 2 days. At the end of the day, it turned out he needed money for his house rent - two days earlier he posted pictures of himself & buddies chopping life in Lagos on Facebook. I agree that generalization is not good but keep in mind that most of the people abroad were also living at home before they left. It is hard to separate the wheat from the chaff in this situation so most guys just ignore and wait. 5 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Never Depend On Anybody That Is Outside The Country by Saff(f): 10:01pm On Nov 19, 2018 |
The level of entitlement on this thread is alarming. 9 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Never Depend On Anybody That Is Outside The Country by DonPikko: 10:01pm On Nov 19, 2018 |
I only look up to God |
Re: Never Depend On Anybody That Is Outside The Country by handsomeyitayo(m): 10:02pm On Nov 19, 2018 |
Daboomb:hope he will not say am insulting him |
Re: Never Depend On Anybody That Is Outside The Country by 77up(m): 10:02pm On Nov 19, 2018 |
sassysure:This is one of the best comments I ever read on nairaland so far , how wish I can like it a million times . that op is a kid ! 5 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Never Depend On Anybody That Is Outside The Country by Enemyofpeace: 10:03pm On Nov 19, 2018 |
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Re: Never Depend On Anybody That Is Outside The Country by aforosco(m): 10:03pm On Nov 19, 2018 |
Shikena: Oshey Madam. I don't think you know what is on ground more than me.I don't feel entitled to her but I know she is doing very very well.I am not expecting a dime from her also.But does Economics hardship means you will not call your kid bro? For 1 yr 6 mths. I believe it is our parents that didn't do the home work well so I didn't blame her at all.If I was born into Otedola's family and my parent could give me the little leverage I need to move on in life would I even look at her side. I totally disagree with you but I understand you don't have the full story like I do. I work in Naija too and if I continue earn what I earn in 3-4yrs I should be able to sponsor myself too.The major thing I expected from her was just the lift.That is the importance of having elderly one you don't have to start rough and when you are rising they also share part of the glory. We may need each other some day but let me tell you something where one will reach he would reach there either you help them or not if you don't it may only be a little bit slower 6 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Never Depend On Anybody That Is Outside The Country by Collysmith: 10:05pm On Nov 19, 2018 |
bujebudanu1:when you eventually travel u will understand 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Never Depend On Anybody That Is Outside The Country by ronaldbecky(m): 10:05pm On Nov 19, 2018 |
GavelSlam:mumu..who get ur tme |
Re: Never Depend On Anybody That Is Outside The Country by GavelSlam: 10:06pm On Nov 19, 2018 |
Re: Never Depend On Anybody That Is Outside The Country by 77up(m): 10:07pm On Nov 19, 2018 |
NwaAmaikpe:Never knew this nikka can make sense like this 3 Likes
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Re: Never Depend On Anybody That Is Outside The Country by Collysmith: 10:08pm On Nov 19, 2018 |
NwaAmaikpe:wise comment 2 Likes |
Re: Never Depend On Anybody That Is Outside The Country by sekundosekundo: 10:09pm On Nov 19, 2018 |
sassysure: Bros, London is not China. Before you bring or invite anybody to London, you must prove to the authorities that you're capable of taking care of such person(s). Before that guy left Nigeria, the sister must have gotten a job for him....#Fact. Two months is not enough though but a stingy man will remain stingy even after 20yrs in London. 11 Likes |
Re: Never Depend On Anybody That Is Outside The Country by Nwanieke(m): 10:11pm On Nov 19, 2018 |
bujebudanu1: True! nothing like your own blood, like the same mama the same papa 2 Likes |
Re: Never Depend On Anybody That Is Outside The Country by ronaldbecky(m): 10:18pm On Nov 19, 2018 |
GavelSlam:lolz.. me? |
Re: Never Depend On Anybody That Is Outside The Country by Shikena(m): 10:20pm On Nov 19, 2018 |
aforosco:I'm not madam o but believe me I totally understand you because I was YOU. Glad that her situation is not what I assumed but I will still implore you to attempt a real heart-to-heart conversation without bringing anything about you into it. Also, just a correction on 'economic hardship' and calls - yes, we handle challenges differently. Some people simply withdraw into their shell because they think they have disappointed everybody. However, since this is not the case with your sis then there must be other factors. I know of several different possibilities but no point going into those since we don't know for sure. Communication is always the starting point and the challenge is always how to initiate this successfully. Your sister is still your sister, and women tend to be more helpful in this 'living abroad' situation that's why I think something is terribly wrong somewhere - it happens, I know but it still not right. You can either address it or ignore it, it's a family thing. |
Re: Never Depend On Anybody That Is Outside The Country by bestpunterever: 10:20pm On Nov 19, 2018 |
handsomeyitayo:yes bro, it could be painful, dat my friend posted a picture immediately he got to Chicago, and I was like thank God for you, how was your trip? The guy no even reply me. And him dey always dey active on facebook..but I thank God today atleast I'm the owner of my benz C350 18 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Never Depend On Anybody That Is Outside The Country by bestpunterever: 10:25pm On Nov 19, 2018 |
Shikena:forget story some so called sisters and brothers are wicked |
Re: Never Depend On Anybody That Is Outside The Country by themanderon: 10:28pm On Nov 19, 2018 |
Brother he doesn't need your "hi" so stay on your lane to avoid stories that touch. 3 Likes |
Re: Never Depend On Anybody That Is Outside The Country by Nobody: 10:29pm On Nov 19, 2018 |
bujebudanu1: If he was an just acquaintance what you said is valid, But a friend that will borrow salt & even clothes from you does not deserve the stranger treatment as you can tell him directly you got no money Incase he asked, truth be told, only the op thinks they are friends, the other dude obviously does not 2 Likes |
Re: Never Depend On Anybody That Is Outside The Country by bujebudanu1(m): 10:33pm On Nov 19, 2018 |
Nwanieke: Yes.only them. Same father same mother. |
Re: Never Depend On Anybody That Is Outside The Country by boomssey(f): 10:33pm On Nov 19, 2018 |
Thank God for this topic...hmmmn where should I even start,well I will start somewhere. I remember vividly, he's my uncle and we all stayed together at my grandma's place with my siblings,should I even say its a family house.he was so eager to travel but had nothing although he had traveled before which was a very long time ago but because of his situation he decided to get out of d country again for greener pastures. All those times I was d one he looks up to for feeding,yes me.even though I was very young then I did cos my dad is abroad n I and my siblings get everything we asked for. It wasn't a big deal to me cos he is my uncle n I had just more than enough. Whenever my uncle wants something he will begin to hail me,pray for me n make promises that whenever he steps out of d country am d first person he will get through to, he kept saying this over n over again. God heard his prayers, traveled to d states, he made it big time even got married but never kept to his promises.its been almost 15yrs he left now n never given me a dime of his money even when I needed him most,I was so pained but got over it.I believe we will c one of these days. 5 Likes |
Re: Never Depend On Anybody That Is Outside The Country by Snwokenk: 10:33pm On Nov 19, 2018 |
agarawu23:Nigerians are the most educated nationality here in the United States. We're doctors, engineers, lawyers, business owners, Software developers etc. Just because you have association with or have heard of people doing such criminality, doesn't make all or a significant amount of us here criminals. So like i said you're misinformed. I would never in a million years choose North Africa over Nigeria let alone United States. 8 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Never Depend On Anybody That Is Outside The Country by AreaFada2: 10:33pm On Nov 19, 2018 |
In that same 9ja, Dangote made billions, GEJ that had no shoes became president. Did everyone make it in 9ja? Why do you think your friend/brother is making it in UK? People's stories are different all over the world. Your guy might be doing three jobs to meet up with huge bills/cost of living. If he had moved to the village and did not respond to your sm greeting, I bet you won't mind. It can take some people 10 years or more to finally settle and have permanent residence paper. So do not assume they are flexing from day one. Mind your business. 14 Likes |
Re: Never Depend On Anybody That Is Outside The Country by Mac2016(m): 10:34pm On Nov 19, 2018 |
ojimbo:Hehehehe. Bros, why did you run comot? Just few, very few, things can make me go abroad (not talking about relocation here o) 1 Like |
Re: Never Depend On Anybody That Is Outside The Country by bujebudanu1(m): 10:36pm On Nov 19, 2018 |
Jiang: People change when they have power.money . privilege |
Re: Never Depend On Anybody That Is Outside The Country by adonainana: 10:42pm On Nov 19, 2018 |
Tellemall: The undertone the OP described his experience with suggested that his friends all of a sudden wanted to be familiar with him like he was before. If it had nothing to do with money, the OP would not have raised the issue of him buying him suit to travel or the guy abroad sending money to Nigeria. My points are that people living in Nigeria think their friends, relatives, etc start doing extremely well once they leave Nigerian Shores, and this is the only presumption i chose to rebut. It is clearly not the case 2 Likes |
Re: Never Depend On Anybody That Is Outside The Country by Shikena(m): 10:42pm On Nov 19, 2018 |
bestpunterever:I know and we also know that the wicked ones are both home and abroad, right? That's why I said it's a family affair. Sister could be married to a man who has been brutally duped by family members at home (I know of several). Each situation is different, hence my advice to him on communication. 1 Like 1 Share |
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