While northerners and muslim men get married early southern/christian men delay much into our 30s because of economic reasons. I myself have delayed marriagr cos of similar reasons, I am in my early 30s, things have turned out fine and am looking to settle down however, I noticed there are a lot of unmarried southern/christian women who are well into their 30s.

These people have not chosen not to get married but simply havent been able to due to lack of men willing to settle down. This is looking to me like a bug dilemna, the church is not doing enough to educate, direct and support men in this regard.

Most of these ladies turn out to soft hoes sometimes due to frustration and some men also take advantage of their visible desperation.

In the north parents have a responsibility to support every young man of marriageable age and expectations are also commensurate with existing realities unlike in the south when inlaws and parents put pressure on children to make money at all cost.

A good number of our women are becoming frustrated and fast loosing hope of ever getting a partner since most unmarried men in their 30s including myself will not marry a 30 year old but look for younger girls.

Somebody needs to address this otherwise things will get pretty out of yand in no time.

guitarman your Strings are true. Parents should assist mature (sensewise o) children. This will reduce desperation and the rate of single mothers, baby daddy, and single adults epidemic. Things will get better just help them begin.e.g a little capital for business for your child. especially parents of female children. We can shout feminism, Independence, strong vessels etc but the reality is that a little assistance won't hurt esp when it involves making her soul mate her marriage partner. it's worth the investment parents.

Isn't it better to marry late than to be divorced 3 or 4 times before age 30?:

This is so true, many of my Muslims colleagues are married. I think parents, churches and in laws have a role to play here if southern Christians are to be married earlier than we currently have it. Most of the people not getting married whether males or females actually want it the other way round.

Marriage is not an achievement.

Christians have a higher living standard and are more educated than muslims so we tend to want more out of life. We are more conscious of and fear poverty than muslims. I don't see the trend changing any time soon as our women have vowed not to lower their standards, and our men to have accepted their fate.

There is nothing the church can do to dissuade Southerners/Christians from wanting a better life. I guess our education and exposure have turned into our albatross?

resurgent4oodua:
Christians have a higher living standard and are more educated than muslims so we tend to want more out of life. We are more conscious of and fear poverty than muslims. I don't see the trend changing any time soon as our women have vowed not to lower their standards, and our men to have accepted their fate.

There is nothing the church can do to dissuade Southerners/Christians from wanting a better life. I guess our education and exposure have turned into our albatross?

Thanks for weighing in, to be honest I am sure more than 98% of christians do not marry as virgins, what these has turned us to is subtle harlots, definitely these can't be how God planned it .

The problem is deeper because the church institution has decided to completely pretend as if all is right. Nobody is "moved by the spirit" to profer a solution to this deeply disturbing issue.
All we know how to do is to run after tithes while the coming generation wander away in confusion and uncleanliness.

Guitarlife:

Thanks for weighing in, to be honest I am sure more than 98% of christians do not marry as virgins, what these has turned us to is subtle harlots, definitely these can't be how God planned it .

The problem is deeper because the church institution has decided to completely pretend as if all is right. Nobody is "moved by the spirit" to profer a solution to this deeply disturbing issue.
All we know how to do is to run after tithes while the coming generation wander away in confusion and uncleanliness.

I oga u did not tell us which part of the south you are talking about.

But if it is the south we all know, then reason is that today's naija have never and does not regard them instead treat them third class citizens.

People have been speedingly attended to simply based on the fact they have west or northern names.
The reality is that u are more likely to get married as a northerner than if you are a southerner,

Because na them get naija and all the resources in it.

VeeVeeMyLuv:

I oga u did not tell us which part of the south you are talking about.

But if it is the south we all know, then reason is that today's naija have never and does not regard them instead treat them third class citizens.

People have been speedingly attended to simply based on the fact they have west or northern names.
The reality is that u are more likely to get married as a northerner than if you are a southerner,

Because na them get naija and all the resources in it.

This is not entirely true, there are a lot of people particularly in the west who are dirt poor and have to beg to feed but then this does not stop them from marrying.

The only difference between the south and the north in this regard is that the north is predominantly muslim and Islam preaches contentment and satisfaction but the south has a great Christian influence and I am not sure if the christian religious leaders are doing enough , infact I have never heard any Christian religious leader fully address this issue head on.

They do not seem to care, but muslims make it even compulsory for the parent to support their children to get married once they are of marriageable age.

Guitarlife:

This is not entirely true, there are a lot of people particularly in the west who are dirt poor and have to beg to feed but then this does not stop them from marrying.

The only difference between the south and the north in this regard is that the north is predominantly muslim and Islam preaches contentment and satisfaction but the south has a great Christian influence and I am not sure if the christian religious leaders are doing enough , infact I have never heard any Christian religious leader fully address this issue head on.

They do not seem to care, but muslims make it even compulsory for the parent to support their children to get married once they are of marriageable age.

i think your reply is matured and better.

The northern peeps practice contentment sha.

U will still find grown men with their wives even children in their parents house in the north.

But south hardly support. Either the parents chase you out of their house or the babe will never agree to date you simply because you don't have ur home or car.

Instead you find majority of the girls insulting the bachelor.

VeeVeeMyLuv:
i think your reply is matured and better.

The northern peeps practice contentment sha.

U will still find grown men with their wives even children in their parents house in the north.

But south hardly support. Either the parents chase you out of their house or the babe will never agree to date you simply because you don't have ur home or car.

Instead you find majority of the girls insulting the bachelor.

Nice one. If you no get money as a southerner, hide your face oooo.

Southerner fear and abhor Poverty.I am a yoruba man and other than our muslim population, the rest of us fear poverty and we won't willingly venture marriage without money or firm assurances of support.

And who will support anybody in this Buhari regime sef? All man for himself jareee. Personally, I will rather be single than marry as a poor man thus ensuring I bring children into the world to suffer.

I love my freedom and sanity a lot and only money can ensure I get married.

resurgent4oodua:
Southerner fear and abhor Poverty.I am a yoruba man and other than our muslim population, the rest of us fear poverty and we won't willingly venture marriage without money or firm assurances of support.

And who will support anybody in this Buhari regime sef? All man for himself jareee. Personally, I will rather be single than marry as a poor man thus ensuring I bring children into the world to suffer.

I love my freedom and sanity a lot and only money can ensure I get married.

Ofcourse, but I am sure you wont wait to have sex till you get married.
I am not judging you but what if the expectation were not this high on you as a man and the social pressure on material things was also very low.

Wouldnt you have gotten married ?

If you look at things critically , your refusal to get married has more to do with the societal pressure of standards and expectations than your ability to fend and feed .

And that is what I am trying to point out . Your problem is not feeding or housing, it has more to do with the type of house, car, clothe, shoes etc that you can afford at this time which is what northerners have learnt not to influence their decision making unlike we southerners.

Guitarlife:
While northerners and muslim men get married early southern/christian men delay much into our 30s because of economic reasons. I myself have delayed marriagr cos of similar reasons, I am in my early 30s, things have turned out fine and am looking to settle down however, I noticed there are a lot of unmarried southern/christian women who are well into their 30s.

These people have not chosen not to get married but simply havent been able to due to lack of men willing to settle down. This is looking to me like a bug dilemna, the church is not doing enough to educate, direct and support men in this regard.

Most of these ladies turn out to soft hoes sometimes due to frustration and some men also take advantage of their visible desperation.

In the north parents have a responsibility to support every young man of marriageable age and expectations are also commensurate with existing realities unlike in the south when inlaws and parents put pressure on children to make money at all cost.

A good number of our women are becoming frustrated and fast loosing hope of ever getting a partner since most unmarried men in their 30s including myself will not marry a 30 year old but look for younger girls.

Somebody needs to address this otherwise things will get pretty out of yand in no time.

What is stopping you from marrying a 30yr old and above lady?

@Topic: interesting.

I think the issue is complex.

Will dig in.

Guitarlife:

Ofcourse, but I am sure you wont wait to have sex till you get married.
I am not judging you but what if the expectation were not this high on you as a man and the social pressure on material things was also very low.

Wouldnt you have gotten married ?

If you look at things critically , your refusal to get married has more to do with the societal pressure of standards and expectations than your ability to fend and feed .

And that is what I am trying to point out . Your problem is not feeding or housing, it has more to do with the type of house, car, clothe, shoes etc that you can afford at this time which is what northerners have learnt not to influence their decision making unlike we southerners.

Do you know how much it is to rent a suitable 2 bedroom flat in Lagos?

My brother, I can't suffer, let alone joining a Nigerian Girl (most probably a Lagos girl) in a sufferhead marriage.In fact, most girls can't even date you if you don't live in a good apartment and drive a good car.

The issue is a complex one and it has to do with standards. And that's why southerners/Christians prefer to stay single than jump into suffering.


You have a point though but we ain't all abokis/notrtherners.

bukatyne:


What is stopping you from marrying a 30yr old and above lady?

because they are approaching menopause, reasons we refer to them as'evening newspaper' so it not our fault.

Whose fault is it? When we call them in their prime at age 25, they do shakara and say they're still chopping the life of their head

And when it's 5years to their menopause, they enlist in the Mountain of Fire Combatant Army & start chasing us upandan.

You think I'd be stupid to settle down with an evening newspaper that has been thrashed & tossed into the bin by Yahoo Boys, Ritualists & Politicians? Sango forbid!

My wife (The bone of my bone & the flesh of my flesh) is still in SS2.

When the time is right, we'll connect & do the needful. There's no rush in life

Very true about the North. You'll see a very beautiful girl willing to settle down with a guy that doesn't really have much. I mean really really beautiful, well mannered girls oooh.

The right answer cannot be so far from greed, unhealthy competition, lust and covetousness.

* Down South, some women have attended more than 5000 Owanbes and parties. How do you convince this type of women to settle for registry and in-house wedding? After spending like N50,000 on their friend's aso-ebi? You want friends to laugh at your Mother-in-law to be?

The kind of people you roll with will ultimately influence you to do things that are not convenient.

There is so much greed and covetousness down south. How many Northern Yahoo boys or Yahoo+ plus guys have you met? They're all based in Southern Nigeria. Church, Parents, Celebrities, etc. are all responsible for this greed.

Last time I heard some primary school girls in Lagos singing and echoing this lyrics what is the meaning of love...? na moni...na moni I sincerely lost hope on this generation. Same girls will be in church the following Sunday and still hear the same moni and offering matter from the man who ought to keep them in check.

Acidosis:


The right answer cannot be so far from greed, unhealthy competition, lust and covetousness.

* Down South, some women have attended more than 5000 Owanbes and parties. How do you convince these type of women to settle for registry and in-house wedding? After spending like N50,000 on their friend's aso-ebi? You want friends to laugh at your Mother-in-law to be?

The kind of people you roll with will ultimately influence you to do things that are not convenient.

There is so much greed and covetousness down south. How many Northern Yahoo boys or Yahoo+ plus guys have you met? They're all based in Southern Nigeria. Church, Parents, Celebrities, etc. are all responsible for this greed.

Last time I heard some primary school girls in Lagos singing and echoing this lyrics what is the meaning of love...? na moni...na moni I sincerely lost hope on this generation.

True man. Very true.

There seems to be a consensus on this thread.

I agree northerners live each day as it comes, they are a content set of peeps what I am not sure is if it has to do with their religion or culture considering that there seems to be a fusion of culture and religion over there .

Even muslims are also taking time to marry here in the south, it seems theres a sort of standard we think must be met before you can get married in the south.

A maiguard with his little salary will go home and marry a wife and they will be content with what they have for now till they move to the next level.

You are saying the church should talk about it, is it the church that the list of requirement for solemnization itself is a headache? Lets even start from there.

Coolers for this and that groups(no longer takeaway packs)
Packs of 5 alive lots of unnecesary stuff IMO. Lots of young people cant even afford all these they just want to be joined quietly and move on.

The church is even making marriage more burdensome for young peeps as far as I am concerned and this translates to high rate of fornication too.

dmg1:
because they are approaching menopause, reasons we refer to them as'evening newspaper' so it not our fault.

when we refer to you people as broke ass niggas y'all will start crying

Northerners and westerners marry early generally. It’s easterners and southerners who take their time because culture requires they spend a lot to marry. That’s not true in the SW.