To be inlove with someone is stressful...

I just decided to share my love story,"my secret thoughts" (one sided love) to my fellow nairalander...

Be patient to read to the end...

#Copied from my Diary...

The first time I met him I fell in love with him; love at first sight.He is handsome,tall,dark and had that deep voice I always admire in men.what actually prompted me to fall more deeply in love with him was is constant involvement in God's work.�,that literally made me to be more in love with him.

I met him during my school days in Abia state polytechnic,the first time I come across him physically was perhaps during combine service(church service) or the first time I attended his sight reading class.(music class).

I noticed he likes looking at me whenever am nearer to him,that prompted me to be more interested in him,because of him,i was unable to attend service to be blessed for passing my instrument test��,I regretted my actions(actually I was very shy). I was scared to see him.....

I actually Started having crush on him in the year 2014,up till now(2018) am still in love with him that makes me sad�..

I added him on Facebook at Lagos,during the camp meeting(2016).(just to get closer to him)

I tried all my possible best to get rid of the feelings I had for him,but all to no avail,mehn am stress up.

I always think about him each day,dream about him,wondering what exactly he is doing in a particular time,wondering wether he himself is in love with me .

we normally chat together on Facebook virtually everyday,he always reply my messages,maybe because of me he likes coming online.

And also,he is a VIRGIN(he revealed it to me),just like me.

I remembered one time in camp meeting at Lagos I prayed to God to reveal to me whether he himself is in love with me,God answered that prayer.it was actually a sign. But after the revelation,i was contemplating whether truly God did answer that prayer or Devil trying to cause havoc In my life(maybe just to distract me by confusing my head).

I don't want to miss heaven,i want this feeling to stop,but I don't want it to stop,i love him,yes,i admit it,i always try to deny the fact that I do love him,my actions towards him shows that am in love.

I love him but it is a secret,i don't want him to know,i don't want to annoy God,besides am not ready to handle any relationship,i don't need a boyfriend,i don't want to commit fornication,i Don't want to date him,want I request for is just to hold his hands,hug him,feel
his love for me too��it seems am asking too much,ok no hugging,it might be a sin,i just want to be looking at him from a distance,just observing him from a distance,noticing his love for me,i want us to be best friends.

I just want us to be alive and be studying each other,pursuing our goals and succeeding,i don't want to fornicates,i just want us to be talking together every time,but that won't stop us from planning our future,building a good future,serving God,just best friend's I wish for.

if perhaps he is in love with me,i don't want him to stop loving me.i think there is a reason why am schooling in uniport,(actually I changed my school)Gods doing,to be closer to him,always meeting him during youth camp,december camping,august camp meeting(at our church headquarters,ph) probably.

I want to occupy his heart.it seems I have never loved someone before like I do love him.l love him so much.but I will continue praying,that's what our elders in the church advice we young people seeking for our Love.we should pray asking God to show us our right partner.

I love him because he is my church member,i love him because he always involve himself in God's work,i love him because he is different from other Guys I have come across.

He is so sweet...but I don't want to date him(not now,school first.)

If truly we are met for each other,i want God to help me talk to him I don't want to do the talking,let me handover it to God.



....Am so excited because I will meet him tomorrow,observe him from a distance,looking at his sweet face,wow��...my crush.He is God Fearing,he is different,that's why I love him.He always look at me,he looks at me in the canteen at Lagos,during choir practice at night,when going for evangelism in the morning,he was just looking at me,also while singing on platform,he always look at me,am suspecting him too,it seems he himself has feelings for me.both of us are restraining our self from doing something that will offend God,we are both Godfearing,i was excited when he told me I should take a picture with him wow,that was one of my happiest day,and also when he told me he saved my pics without my consent,chai! Mehn . ..I love him,he has a nice deep voice,tall,dark,handsome,sexy.


BUT I don't think I will fit him��am too short for him,am too fat,probably he doesn't like fat short girl,am not smart ,I will be boring to him, I can't speak,am introvert, am not that intelligent,am not too fine,short mehn, how am I even sure that he loves me as I do love him.i just want to be close to him,i just want him to ask for help if he needs help.i don't just want to be an ordinary friend,a special friend from other girls.


I want him to treat me specially,he shouldn't talk to me like he talks to other girls.But I won't fit him.i want this feeling to go before he gets married to his love,i don't want to feel miserable if he didn't marry me.


l want him to succeed in all his endeavors,so that he can quickly come and ask my hand in marriage if truly is the Will of God.I don't want to date him,just let us be best of friends. Let's care for each other...... let's be talking to each other from
time to time.we should have feelings for each other but pretend as if we don't,till God say wether we are actually meant for each other.


But I won't fit him,�������,am so scared that he doesn't like me because am short and fat..... well let me handover this matter to God's hands,He is my mentor,my advocate,adviser,director,He knows how to solve my problems.maybe He is not the right guy......I love him...so much..... yeah yeah I love him,i can't wait to see him tomorrow lol.....�����.

Eventually I met him,though I saw him afar ,i wasn't close to him,i wasn't opportune to be close to him.the suite he wore during the concert made him so handsome,one thing I observed in him was his constant pulling up of his trouser,i think the trouser or belt was too big for him.��I wonder who actually bought it for him lol....

Also is constant gaze at me makes me weak , shock,every few minute he must turn to my side and take a peep.while singing he will love to look at my face.but one thing that makes me feel bad is through out the December camp meeting he never once look for me to say hi.i wonder why he decided to do so,not even coming online,since the beginning of the convention he never came online,ok maybe because of me,i will be a distraction to him.but is unfair ��.

I miss him,i wasn't close to him,only sight him from a distance...on Sunday also,he looks at me each time,while singing,etc.to the extent our eyes met and we stare at each other for a long time,he refused to turn his eyes,i then volunteer to do so.

while also singing on Wednesday Bible study,he was looking at me to the extent he smiled,i wonder what exactly made him smiled.

Also while he was looking at me I was a little bit uncomfortable ,(during congregational song),I smiled and raised my songbook to cover my face, am sure he noticed it,because later on he was shy to look at me while playing his double bass.but he didn't stop,he continued looking at me when he sat down,when I peep at him,his eyes met mine,i was embarrassed,but he didn't say hi nor came online��.I miss him.��.

This is a day after the closure of the camp meeting,he hasn't come online yet, for Goodness sake,what exactly is he doing that prevented him from coming online,am just pondering,why is he punishing my heart,have been thinking about him all day,i just want to chat with him,i have the urge to do so,my days look so boring without me chatting with him .am not that stout to ask him for his number,�����oooooh he is so cruel...He doesn't love me the the way I love him.


Two weeks plus,he didn't care to interact with me on Facebook,is he busy��,or trying to avoid me...,or is he tired of chatting with me,or is he restraining himself from committing sin by stopping himself from chatting with me?,or he doesn't need any thing to interfere with his school,something that will distract his mind from focusing in his studies..let me exercise patience by giving him three days to appear online I.e Sunday,monday,tuesday,if he doesn't come online,i will then come to the conclusion that he doesn't like me,he is not ready to love someone,he is not ready to marry...


Then as for me,I will quit loving him,stop monitoring him wether is online,restrain my self from falling too deeply in love with him.. that's what I have purposed In my heart.thats what I determine to do.God help me...




I Thank God so much for preserving my life and also my crush life to the year 2018,may His name be Praise.so I remembered giving my crush three days to appear online,if the three days elapses without him saying hi to me,i will quit my love for him,but on the third day which was the deadline,probably it was on Tuesday,he came online,he came during the afternoon,probably around eleven,twelve or .....But he didn't say hi to me.he left without saying hi to me.Prior to the Christmas celebration,he consistently comes online,without saying hi to me.After the Christmas celebration,he didn't care to wish me merry Christmas, I think he didn't even come online that day,i wasn't literally offended,because my love for him was diminishing,since he decided not to say hi to me,so I came to the conclusion that he is not profoundly in love with me like I do love him,so I didn't love him that much again,even so, my heart was still hurting me.i virtually forgot about him,i was trying to forget about him when he suddenly,
unexpectedly send a new year message to me,wow I was startled,He called me Nneoma,that wasn't the first time he called me that,that was the second time.Nneoma means Good mother,i am just pondering,why did he decide to address me like that���,Does he sees me as his future wife?,mmmm Nneoma....so I decided to reply back,he replied again by sending stickers,featuring a dog with a fast heart beat,the first was a like thump...why did he send a dog with a fast heart beat?������,is he trying to tell me that his heart is beating fast because of me or because of the message I sent to him? just contemplating.


I decided not to reply back,i just wanna try him whether he truly misses me,whether he truly have a crush on me... oops I forgot to tell you is age,he is 23, while am 19,any problem with the age difference?���������
.

oops I failed,i later replied is message,i really miss him... Nneoma is used to address someone who is dear to you, he later ask me why I didn't meet him in camp I told him that I was thinking whether he was hiding or busy,am actually waiting for his reply... anticipating�������������but am scared,what if he is in love with me,���, what am I going to do?...oh my oh my oh my..am madly in love with him.. gosh...he is always making me wet..... He asked me why I didn't look for him,he said he looked for me.he also ask why I didn't look for his number and call him,i just told him that it didn't cross my mind...lol,later I said sorry...., but he is making me wet... even now that am writing am wet already...


He told me he had kisses for me then,but has he didn't get to meet me he was unable to deliver it,i told him friends doesn't kiss,he said he was just joking.

Another thing he did that melt my heart was when I complained about is putting is hands in is pocket consistently while talking picture,he replied by telling me he will changed it if it bothers me,i told him he shouldn't because of me,guess what he did,actually it was on Sunday I told him,immediately,he snap himself featuring different styles... It might be because of what I said....is he in love with me? He said he prefers calling me Nneoma... that's strange...,Mehn he is sexy,i love his shape.. very dark... oh my gosh..




Long time I haven't written...so am anticipating for Easter concert.. probably my crush might come.. well not so sure...I haven't talk to him for some time now...he told me he is preparing for exams... am sad also because he curse me,in public(on Facebook), openly,i was so embarrassed,but the stupid thing is that am still in love with him...I stop chatting with him for one month....for him to curse me in public that shows that he doesn't love me.and I don't want someone who would be hurting my feelings...I want someone who will love me,despite my flaws,not always remaining me consistently�����,he cursed me,he made a mockery of me...I don't want love to blind me....is action shows the kind of person he would be....gosh...am so mad at him...


I don't feel like seeing him during Easter...I don't want him to see me ever again,i look so insecure,hatred towards my self...I don't want to see him.if it happen he comes,i will hid from him,try to avoid him...I don't want someone to hurt me ...am tired of this feelings already...l just want it to stop,i want to be my self....oh no I just like him that's all..oh God dammit..� why is it that am still in love with him eh,how can I get rid of this stupid feelings God help me Na,i don tire.choi...



I saw Him during the concert,buh I didn't get to meet him,buh I was close to him buh I was scared to talk to him Bleep! I saw him in the prayer room, immediately I sight him I turned my face away from him and did as if I didn't see him..buh I think he saw me... probably that's why he no longer chat with me long on Facebook,just...






I knew it that definitely,right from the initial stage of this friendship on Facebook won't last..can you imagine that up till now he hasn't ask for my number,unlike other guys, even his brother immediately ask for my number when I happen to chat with him.... virtually all the guys in my friend list has ask for my number,buh he himself ...oh my God...he only ask for my brother's number not mine.. please someone should tell me what does it mean for a guy very close to you on Facebook doesn't care to ask for your number... okay..it simply means that HE IS NOT INTERESTED IN YOU..�������, have it at your back of your mind,he is not your future husband,he is not chatting with me frequently any longer.. he doesn't come online any longer frequently,maybe cus of what I did,he saw me that day,buh why didn't he run after me .. what should I do now..

we are gonna have MIZPEH,definetly he will come,should I tell him I would love to meet him during the MIZPEH or I should leave it still i enter choir..
I want to do the right thing... how I wish this stupid feelings would stop... what should I do...




The battle still continue... Damm am still in love with him...

Those are the things I ruminate in my mind...

Ebonko4life:
To be inlove with someone is stressful...

I just decided to share my love story,"my secret thoughts" (one sided love) to my fellow nairalander...

Be patient to read to the end...

#Copied from my Diary...

The first time I met him I fell in love with him; love at first sight.He is handsome,tall,dark and had that deep voice I always admire in men.what actually prompted me to fall more deeply in love with him was is constant involvement in God's work.�,that literally made me to be more in love with him.

I met him during my school days in Abia state polytechnic,the first time I come across him physically was perhaps during combine service(church service) or the first time I attended his sight reading class.(music class).

I noticed he likes looking at me whenever am nearer to him,that prompted me to be more interested in him,because of him,i was unable to attend service to be blessed for passing my instrument test��,I regretted my actions(actually I was very shy). I was scared to see him.....

I actually Started having crush on him in the year 2014,up till now(2018) am still in love with him that makes me sad�..

I added him on Facebook at Lagos,during the camp meeting(2016).(just to get closer to him)

I tried all my possible best to get rid of the feelings I had for him,but all to no avail,mehn am stress up.

I always think about him each day,dream about him,wondering what exactly he is doing in a particular time,wondering wether he himself is in love with me .

we normally chat together on Facebook virtually everyday,he always reply my messages,maybe because of me he likes coming online.

And also,he is a VIRGIN(he revealed it to me),just like me.

I remembered one time in camp meeting at Lagos I prayed to God to reveal to me whether he himself is in love with me,God answered that prayer.it was actually a sign. But after the revelation,i was contemplating whether truly God did answer that prayer or Devil trying to cause havoc In my life(maybe just to distract me by confusing my head).

I don't want to miss heaven,i want this feeling to stop,but I don't want it to stop,i love him,yes,i admit it,i always try to deny the fact that I do love him,my actions towards him shows that am in love.

I love him but it is a secret,i don't want him to know,i don't want to annoy God,besides am not ready to handle any relationship,i don't need a boyfriend,i don't want to commit fornication,i Don't want to date him,want I request for is just to hold his hands,hug him,feel
his love for me too��it seems am asking too much,ok no hugging,it might be a sin,i just want to be looking at him from a distance,just observing him from a distance,noticing his love for me,i want us to be best friends.

I just want us to be alive and be studying each other,pursuing our goals and succeeding,i don't want to fornicates,i just want us to be talking together every time,but that won't stop us from planning our future,building a good future,serving God,just best friend's I wish for.

if perhaps he is in love with me,i don't want him to stop loving me.i think there is a reason why am schooling in uniport,(actually I changed my school)Gods doing,to be closer to him,always meeting him during youth camp,december camping,august camp meeting(at our church headquarters,ph) probably.

I want to occupy his heart.it seems I have never loved someone before like I do love him.l love him so much.but I will continue praying,that's what our elders in the church advice we young people seeking for our Love.we should pray asking God to show us our right partner.

I love him because he is my church member,i love him because he always involve himself in God's work,i love him because he is different from other Guys I have come across.

He is so sweet...but I don't want to date him(not now,school first.)

If truly we are met for each other,i want God to help me talk to him I don't want to do the talking,let me handover it to God.



....Am so excited because I will meet him tomorrow,observe him from a distance,looking at his sweet face,wow��...my crush.He is God Fearing,he is different,that's why I love him.He always look at me,he looks at me in the canteen at Lagos,during choir practice at night,when going for evangelism in the morning,he was just looking at me,also while singing on platform,he always look at me,am suspecting him too,it seems he himself has feelings for me.both of us are restraining our self from doing something that will offend God,we are both Godfearing,i was excited when he told me I should take a picture with him wow,that was one of my happiest day,and also when he told me he saved my pics without my consent,chai! Mehn . ..I love him,he has a nice deep voice,tall,dark,handsome,sexy.


BUT I don't think I will fit him��am too short for him,am too fat,probably he doesn't like fat short girl,am not smart ,I will be boring to him, I can't speak,am introvert, am not that intelligent,am not too fine,short mehn, how am I even sure that he loves me as I do love him.i just want to be close to him,i just want him to ask for help if he needs help.i don't just want to be an ordinary friend,a special friend from other girls.


I want him to treat me specially,he shouldn't talk to me like he talks to other girls.But I won't fit him.i want this feeling to go before he gets married to his love,i don't want to feel miserable if he didn't marry me.


l want him to succeed in all his endeavors,so that he can quickly come and ask my hand in marriage if truly is the Will of God.I don't want to date him,just let us be best of friends. Let's care for each other...... let's be talking to each other from
time to time.we should have feelings for each other but pretend as if we don't,till God say wether we are actually meant for each other.


But I won't fit him,�������,am so scared that he doesn't like me because am short and fat..... well let me handover this matter to God's hands,He is my mentor,my advocate,adviser,director,He knows how to solve my problems.maybe He is not the right guy......I love him...so much..... yeah yeah I love him,i can't wait to see him tomorrow lol.....�����.

Eventually I met him,though I saw him afar ,i wasn't close to him,i wasn't opportune to be close to him.the suite he wore during the concert made him so handsome,one thing I observed in him was his constant pulling up of his trouser,i think the trouser or belt was too big for him.��I wonder who actually bought it for him lol....

Also is constant gaze at me makes me weak , shock,every few minute he must turn to my side and take a peep.while singing he will love to look at my face.but one thing that makes me feel bad is through out the December camp meeting he never once look for me to say hi.i wonder why he decided to do so,not even coming online,since the beginning of the convention he never came online,ok maybe because of me,i will be a distraction to him.but is unfair ��.

I miss him,i wasn't close to him,only sight him from a distance...on Sunday also,he looks at me each time,while singing,etc.to the extent our eyes met and we stare at each other for a long time,he refused to turn his eyes,i then volunteer to do so.

while also singing on Wednesday Bible study,he was looking at me to the extent he smiled,i wonder what exactly made him smiled.

Also while he was looking at me I was a little bit uncomfortable ,(during congregational song),I smiled and raised my songbook to cover my face, am sure he noticed it,because later on he was shy to look at me while playing his double bass.but he didn't stop,he continued looking at me when he sat down,when I peep at him,his eyes met mine,i was embarrassed,but he didn't say hi nor came online��.I miss him.��.

This is a day after the closure of the camp meeting,he hasn't come online yet, for Goodness sake,what exactly is he doing that prevented him from coming online,am just pondering,why is he punishing my heart,have been thinking about him all day,i just want to chat with him,i have the urge to do so,my days look so boring without me chatting with him .am not that stout to ask him for his number,�����oooooh he is so cruel...He doesn't love me the the way I love him.


Two weeks plus,he didn't care to interact with me on Facebook,is he busy��,or trying to avoid me...,or is he tired of chatting with me,or is he restraining himself from committing sin by stopping himself from chatting with me?,or he doesn't need any thing to interfere with his school,something that will distract his mind from focusing in his studies..let me exercise patience by giving him three days to appear online I.e Sunday,monday,tuesday,if he doesn't come online,i will then come to the conclusion that he doesn't like me,he is not ready to love someone,he is not ready to marry...


Then as for me,I will quit loving him,stop monitoring him wether is online,restrain my self from falling too deeply in love with him.. that's what I have purposed In my heart.thats what I determine to do.God help me...




I Thank God so much for preserving my life and also my crush life to the year 2018,may His name be Praise.so I remembered giving my crush three days to appear online,if the three days elapses without him saying hi to me,i will quit my love for him,but on the third day which was the deadline,probably it was on Tuesday,he came online,he came during the afternoon,probably around eleven,twelve or .....But he didn't say hi to me.he left without saying hi to me.Prior to the Christmas celebration,he consistently comes online,without saying hi to me.After the Christmas celebration,he didn't care to wish me merry Christmas, I think he didn't even come online that day,i wasn't literally offended,because my love for him was diminishing,since he decided not to say hi to me,so I came to the conclusion that he is not profoundly in love with me like I do love him,so I didn't love him that much again,even so, my heart was still hurting me.i virtually forgot about him,i was trying to forget about him when he suddenly,
unexpectedly send a new year message to me,wow I was startled,He called me Nneoma,that wasn't the first time he called me that,that was the second time.Nneoma means Good mother,i am just pondering,why did he decide to address me like that���,Does he sees me as his future wife?,mmmm Nneoma....so I decided to reply back,he replied again by sending stickers,featuring a dog with a fast heart beat,the first was a like thump...why did he send a dog with a fast heart beat?������,is he trying to tell me that his heart is beating fast because of me or because of the message I sent to him? just contemplating.


I decided not to reply back,i just wanna try him whether he truly misses me,whether he truly have a crush on me... oops I forgot to tell you is age,he is 23, while am 19,any problem with the age difference?���������
.

oops I failed,i later replied is message,i really miss him... Nneoma is used to address someone who is dear to you, he later ask me why I didn't meet him in camp I told him that I was thinking whether he was hiding or busy,am actually waiting for his reply... anticipating�������������but am scared,what if he is in love with me,���, what am I going to do?...oh my oh my oh my..am madly in love with him.. gosh...he is always making me wet..... He asked me why I didn't look for him,he said he looked for me.he also ask why I didn't look for his number and call him,i just told him that it didn't cross my mind...lol,later I said sorry...., but he is making me wet... even now that am writing am wet already...


He told me he had kisses for me then,but has he didn't get to meet me he was unable to deliver it,i told him friends doesn't kiss,he said he was just joking.

Another thing he did that melt my heart was when I complained about is putting is hands in is pocket consistently while talking picture,he replied by telling me he will changed it if it bothers me,i told him he shouldn't because of me,guess what he did,actually it was on Sunday I told him,immediately,he snap himself featuring different styles... It might be because of what I said....is he in love with me? He said he prefers calling me Nneoma... that's strange...,Mehn he is sexy,i love his shape.. very dark... oh my gosh..




Long time I haven't written...so am anticipating for Easter concert.. probably my crush might come.. well not so sure...I haven't talk to him for some time now...he told me he is preparing for exams... am sad also because he curse me,in public(on Facebook), openly,i was so embarrassed,but the stupid thing is that am still in love with him...I stop chatting with him for one month....for him to curse me in public that shows that he doesn't love me.and I don't want someone who would be hurting my feelings...I want someone who will love me,despite my flaws,not always remaining me consistently�����,he cursed me,he made a mockery of me...I don't want love to blind me....is action shows the kind of person he would be....gosh...am so mad at him...


I don't feel like seeing him during Easter...I don't want him to see me ever again,i look so insecure,hatred towards my self...I don't want to see him.if it happen he comes,i will hid from him,try to avoid him...I don't want someone to hurt me ...am tired of this feelings already...l just want it to stop,i want to be my self....oh no I just like him that's all..oh God dammit..� why is it that am still in love with him eh,how can I get rid of this stupid feelings God help me Na,i don tire.choi...



I saw Him during the concert,buh I didn't get to meet him,buh I was close to him buh I was scared to talk to him Bleep! I saw him in the prayer room, immediately I sight him I turned my face away from him and did as if I didn't see him..buh I think he saw me... probably that's why he no longer chat with me long on Facebook,just...






I knew it that definitely,right from the initial stage of this friendship on Facebook won't last..can you imagine that up till now he hasn't ask for my number,unlike other guys, even his brother immediately ask for my number when I happen to chat with him.... virtually all the guys in my friend list has ask for my number,buh he himself ...oh my God...he only ask for my brother's number not mine.. please someone should tell me what does it mean for a guy very close to you on Facebook doesn't care to ask for your number... okay..it simply means that HE IS NOT INTERESTED IN YOU..�������, have it at your back of your mind,he is not your future husband,he is not chatting with me frequently any longer.. he doesn't come online any longer frequently,maybe cus of what I did,he saw me that day,buh why didn't he run after me .. what should I do now..

we are gonna have MIZPEH,definetly he will come,should I tell him I would love to meet him during the MIZPEH or I should leave it still i enter choir..
I want to do the right thing... how I wish this stupid feelings would stop... what should I do...




The battle still continue... Damm am still in love with him...

Just invite him to your place and seduce his brains out

Tell him u love him, stop hurting ur self. And biko, try summarize next time