Hi everyone,

I always feel any time I'm on nairaland I have drama. This platform has helped me as a release over the years. I don't understand why I have been unlucky in love but I hope my posts can help someone. Last time I was here my boyfriend of years got another woman pregnant he still wants to marry me BUT I dont think I can deal with the deception. Lying is one thing but having a whole baby is something else.

So I met someone new. It felt like he was my bestfriend. I put my life on hold for him. I gave up my life for months so that I could help him be a better man. I gave up my home, finances, my car everything to push his vision. I'm a working class woman late 20s and he was a student with a part time job. It didnt bother me he didn't have much because I loved him.

He was kind and loving but I always felt I had to reassure him of his position in my life and to tell him he is enough. This man always made it seem like I didnt respect him because he didn't feel accomplished and wasn't happy of my support of the relationship. He always made me feel bad for being successful.

It's hard for men to accept women when they attain a certain level of success. Men say that they want a woman to be there for them when they are at their lowest, I was that woman but this man broke me emotionally and made me feel small.

I will not date a man with less money than me anymore they are insecure. I just want to advise other women not to over invest your time, emotions and finances in someone who is not your husband.

We women want to over invest because we believe we are showing love. Don't walk away with a broken heart and empty wallet.

-he did not cheat, but his insecurities got the best of the relationship and I decided to walk away even if I loved him.

Ok

HeavenlyCherub:
Hi everyone,

I always feel any time I'm on nairaland I have drama. This platform has helped me as a release over the years. I don't understand why I have been unlucky in love but I hope my posts can help someone. Last time I was here my boyfriend of years got another woman pregnant he still wants to marry me BUT I dont think I can deal with the deception. Lying is one thing but having a whole baby is something else.

So I met someone new. It felt like he was my bestfriend. I put my life on hold for him. I gave up my life for months so that I could help him be a better man. I gave up my home, finances, my car everything to push his vision. I'm a working class woman late 20s and he was a student with a part time job. It didnt bother me he didn't have much because I loved him.

He was kind and loving but I always felt I had to reassure him of his position in my life and to tell him he is enough. This man always made it seem like I didnt respect him because he didn't feel accomplished and wasn't happy of my support of the relationship. He always made me feel bad for being successful.

It's hard for men to accept women when they attain a certain level of success. Men say that they want a woman to be there for them when they are at their lowest, I was that woman but this man broke me emotionally and made me feel small.

I will not date a man with less money than me anymore they are insecure. I just want to advise other women not to over invest your time, emotions and finances in someone who is not your husband.

We women want to over invest because we believe we are showing love. Don't walk away with a broken heart and empty wallet.

-he did not cheat, but his insecurities got the best of the relationship and I decided to walk away even if I loved him.

whatever, it's too early to read nonsense this morning bye.

Another mumu has decided to allow one of the daughters of Eve give us bad name.......at least this one did not cheat...

Pele....

But me I no dey jam all this kind better babes...na the ones wey u go say hiiiii.... and the next few days u don dey owe her salary, iPhone and wig we dey always see

Why I no dey jam correct chicks like this

I pity these guys above me calling the OP correct babe. Because she said she was working class and had money. Do not be deceived brethren, I know her type.

She is just trying play the victim card. Why won't the guy become insecure when you want to turn him to your houseboy because of the little change you think you have.

I can confidently bet on my balls that you subtly rob it on the poor guys face that you have more money than him, either knowingly or unknowingly.

Gracias !!!!

love him but love yourself more.

Broke guys always feel.insecure when dating a working class lady.
But op, why go below your standard? Thank God you have learnt your lessons. Please, move on and don't be deceived next time.

.

highqueen:
Broke guys always feel.insecure when dating a working class lady.
But op, why go below your standard? Thank God you have learnt your lessons. Please, move on and don't be deceived next time.

My dear..love makes you do stupid things sometimes..we don't choose who we love

eljay22:
I pity these guys above me calling the OP correct babe. Because she said she was working class and had money. Do not be deceived brethren, I know her type.

She is just trying play the victim card. Why won't the guy become insecure when you want to turn him to your houseboy because of the little change you think you have.

I can confidently bet on my balls that you subtly rob it on the poor guys face that you have more money than him, either knowingly or unknowingly.

Gracias !!!!

I love God and I am fully aware no relationship is perfect. I never made him a houseboy infact I still carried out my duties as his girlfriend. My ex still wants to work things out and remain friends. If I was as bad as you say I am would he still want to be with me. Money is not everything. Anyway I loved him and I always will. But for my sanity I need to let go. 

Maybe at the time he didnt notice, he keeps on referencing that I dont need him if we break up I have my job, property and family to fall back on but he has no one and needs to support his family. These talks were now a burden on me. He started becoming aggressive, angry and jealous. When I do anything I would always say its ours not mine.

I truly believe a man is the head of a home no way I would want to dominate. I'm not saying I was perfect but I did my best to love him it was never enough. He said I never respected him but I did. Inferiority got the best of him.

Don't get me wrong I'm not a bad looking woman and I had well to do men after me. It's sad because all I wanted was him.

HeavenlyCherub:


My dear..love makes you do stupid things sometimes..we don't choose who we love

Well, thank God your eyes are now opened.


Don't ever go below your level cos They will always feel inferior and insecure to the extent of dragging you down.

HeavenlyCherub:


I love God and I am fully aware no relationship is perfect. I never made him a houseboy infact I still carried out my duties as his girlfriend. My ex still wants to work things out and remain friends. If I was as bad as you say I am would he still want to be with me. Money is not everything. My family is well off, money has never been a issue to me. I'm also not the type to leech off my parents. I have made it on my own and I thank God every day. Most kids from homes like mine end up not working hard at all. Anyway I loved him and I always will. But for my sanity I need to let go. 

Maybe at the time he didnt notice, he keeps on referencing that I dont need him if we break up I have my job, property and family to fall back on but he has no one and needs to support his family. These talks were now a burden on me. He started becoming aggressive, angry and jealous. When I do anything I would always say its ours not mine.

I truly believe a man is the head of a home no way I would want to dominate. I'm not saying I was perfect but I did my best to love him it was never enough. He said I never respected him but I did. Inferiority got the best of him.

Don't get me wrong I'm not a bad looking woman and I had well to do men after me. It's sad because all I wanted was him.

Thanks OP. You just proved the point I was trying to make. I did not ask you if you are from a well off family or if you have landed properties, yet you felt you should tell me. Why? To feel better about yourself I guess.

Please, let the poor boy be. I still insist you wanted to turn him to your houseboy. Talking like you were doing him a favour by dating him.

Heed to the advise of your fellow ladies and go for your class, where you both will wake up every morning and read out your accomplishments to each other.

Leave the poor guy alone !!!

eljay22:


Thanks OP. You just proved the point I was trying to make. I did not ask you if you are from a well off family or if you have landed properties, yet you felt you should tell me. Why? To feel better about yourself I guess.

Please, let the poor boy be. I still insist you wanted to turn him to your houseboy. Talking like you were doing him a favour by dating him.

Heed to the advise of your fellow ladies and go for your class, where you both will wake up every morning and read out your accomplishments to each other.

Leave the poor guy alone !!!

That was not what I was aiming for but I'm just telling you what I faced from him every time. Do you know how hard it is being with someone you constantly have to reassure or tell them they are enough.

HeavenlyCherub:


That was not what I was aiming for but I'm just telling you what I faced from him every time. Do you know how hard it is being with someone you constantly have to reassure or tell them they are enough.

Your advice is noted.

Ignore close minded men. don't stress yourself trying to prove a point.
Wish you the best.

highqueen:
Broke guys always feel.insecure when dating a working class lady.
But op, why go below your standard? Thank God you have learnt your lessons. Please, move on and don't be deceived next time.

you are right dear... Same way I will advise my fellow guys that are not broke to go for working class financially independent babes instead of being with broke babes that see such men as a poverty alleviation programme

HeavenlyCherub:
Hi everyone,

I always feel any time I'm on nairaland I have drama. This platform has helped me as a release over the years. I don't understand why I have been unlucky in love but I hope my posts can help someone. Last time I was here my boyfriend of years got another woman pregnant he still wants to marry me BUT I dont think I can deal with the deception. Lying is one thing but having a whole baby is something else.

So I met someone new. It felt like he was my bestfriend. I put my life on hold for him. I gave up my life for months so that I could help him be a better man. I gave up my home, finances, my car everything to push his vision. I'm a working class woman late 20s and he was a student with a part time job. It didnt bother me he didn't have much because I loved him.

He was kind and loving but I always felt I had to reassure him of his position in my life and to tell him he is enough. This man always made it seem like I didnt respect him because he didn't feel accomplished and wasn't happy of my support of the relationship. He always made me feel bad for being successful.

It's hard for men to accept women when they attain a certain level of success. Men say that they want a woman to be there for them when they are at their lowest, I was that woman but this man broke me emotionally and made me feel small.

I will not date a man with less money than me anymore they are insecure. I just want to advise other women not to over invest your time, emotions and finances in someone who is not your husband.

We women want to over invest because we believe we are showing love. Don't walk away with a broken heart and empty wallet.

-he did not cheat, but his insecurities got the best of the relationship and I decided to walk away even if I loved him.

i used to be like you too. i dated a broke guy years ago, did all the stupid stuff you did cos i believed in his dream. Ignored the warning signs, the attempts to chip away at my self esteem and a host of other stuff i cant get into.
Then i got ill, and had academic issues, nigga couldn't even pay the bill or be there for me. it just had to be about him. it took all I had to walk away and tell him being with him was a detriment to my survival. I cant even remember his face clearly.

See you just have to move, look in the mirror and tell yourself good things, level up so that people of that calibre dare not approach you, love yourself and always remeber to act like the prize you are.

It is a lot of work, but like me,you will get there

funmisticqueen:
i used to be like you too. i dated a broke guy years ago, did all the stupid stuff you did cos i believed in his dream. Ignored the warning signs, the attempts to chip away at my self esteem and a host of other stuff i cant get into.
Then i got ill, and had academic issues, nigga couldn't even pay the bill or be there for me. it just had to be about him. it took all I had to walk away and tell him being with him was a detriment to my survival. I cant even remember his face clearly.

See you just have to move, look in the mirror and tell yourself good things, level up so that people of that calibre dare not approach you, love yourself and always remeber to act like the prize you are.

It is a lot of work, but like me,you will get there

Thank you for the support dear. Love hurts. Sometimes you think they will appreciate you more for the simple fact you are willing to be there before they realize their dream. Some men eventually succeed and leave you behind

funmisticqueen:
i used to be like you too. i dated a broke guy years ago, did all the stupid stuff you did cos i believed in his dream. Ignored the warning signs, the attempts to chip away at my self esteem and a host of other stuff i cant get into.
Then i got ill, and had academic issues, nigga couldn't even pay the bill or be there for me. it just had to be about him. it took all I had to walk away and tell him being with him was a detriment to my survival. I cant even remember his face clearly.

See you just have to move, look in the mirror and tell yourself good things, level up so that people of that calibre dare not approach you, love yourself and always remeber to act like the prize you are.

It is a lot of work, but like me,you will get there

You know he used to tell me not to tell family or friends what I do as it would ruin his future reputation with him. I wasn't telling anyway as I viewed him as my husband. I loved him, I always will. I believed in him even when he didnt believe. Now I understand when they say dont date potential

um because you are giving him 10k And 20k you think the whole world should hear and you Are rich. common don't be shy, please say the truth what is the highest amount you gave me and total.?

HeavenlyCherub:


You know he used to tell me not to tell family or friends what I do as it would ruin his future reputation with him. I wasn't telling anyway as I viewed him as my husband. I loved him, I always will. I believed in him even when he didnt believe. Now I understand when they say dont date potential

the signs are always subtle, they then make you feel bad for their abuse

Gboy101:
um because you are giving him 10k And 20k you think the whole world should hear and you Are rich. common don't be shy, please say the truth what is the highest amount you gave me and total.?

It's not about money. My message is just not to over invest for a man who is not your husband. That is providing them accommodation, feeding them and preparing meals - like they have married you. Giving them your body and all your possessions to use for their benefit.

funmisticqueen:
the signs are always subtle, they then make you feel bad for their abuse

He always say I don't respect him but I do. I was always wrong in the relationship. God is in control

you are egocentric.

HeavenlyCherub:


It's not about money. My message is just not to over invest for a man who is not your husband. That is providing them accommodation, feeding them and preparing meals - like they have married you. Giving them your body and all your possessions to use for their benefit.

likewise gilrls too. in short it's for everyone. only help from your mind and not because of what to get by that you will never regret anything. I appreciate when a woman borrow me money amd nor dash. I prefer to pay back because if most girls give a guy anything.it would be as if they own his life.

if they rather any favor and the guy cheat it will feel as if the world has end.

don't invest in a man that isn't your husband buh a man should invest in woman that isn't he's wife abi...

I tire for naija chicks I swear

vingeophysicist:
you are egocentric.

Una too funny.

HeavenlyCherub:


He always say I don't respect him but I do. I was always wrong in the relationship. God is in control

that is all in the past. At least you have learnt. Please level up and strive to do your best. A wonderful partner will come your way

funmisticqueen:
that is all in the past. At least you have learnt. Please level up and strive to do your best. A wonderful partner will come your way

Thank you dear. I really appreciate your encouragement it means a lot.

HeavenlyCherub:


Thank you dear. I really appreciate your encouragement it means a lot.

Share your pix let me see if I can link you up with a better husband. You sound nice to me.