pcguru1:
Yep someone made mention of work and stress and traffic especially in Lagos, that's another factor too,Lagos is stressful that I can tell you. So won't be a surprise if that was one of the factors causing the sexless marriage

Timbuktou:
Men too dey fûck up. You're discussing sex with your wife up to three times? My brother, you cannot negotiate attraction. If a woman wants to fúck you, she will fûck you. She will always be in the mood, or she will be in the mood way more times than she's not. You are suffering from see finish syndrome.

I advise you to spend less time than you used to with her, get a hobby and, of course, get a bloody side chick. And monitor her destiny codedly, if you're not chopping her ponmo, nobody else with be chopping the ponmo. When she ready, she go coordinate.

Onegai:




This is totally very true (infact I'm brushing my hair right now because of it!) But the reality is that, children are the death of Sex in Marriage.

Baby age 2 months: you will prefer to sleep rather than be awake thinking of nyashing. Because you haven't slept upto 3 hours straight in 2 months

Baby age 6 months: your husband (rubbing thigh suggestively), assumed the position and suddenly you hear "nyaaahhhh"

Baby age 8 months: you wear bum shorts and your baby, desperate to fight all your weaning attempts, chooks his head into your laps looking for a way to open your top (I shi.t you not this happens till breastfeeding ends)

Baby age 11 months: you wear your white pant and bum shorts, guess who is going to spit up food all over it and rub her mouth on your top in vex that you're giving her solids you will so change clothes.

Toddler age 1 year: you lie down, your toddler follows you. You stand up, your toddler follows you. You go to the toilet and your toddler drums on the door until you come out. It's called Separation Anxiety.

Toddler age 1.6 years: you arrange and package yourself on the bed and carry remote control to watch, what was it, Africa Magic. Your toddler begins to scream blue murder, because they were showing Teletubbies, how dare you change the channel!

Terrible Twos and older: you and husband get down. Halfway through, you realise the house is quiet. Strangely quiet. That is because your child is drinking from the toilet, about to put a metal fork in a socket, pouring water into your speakers, trying to pull a chest of drawers on top of their silly head, eating Omo, about to "superman" off the balconey etc

See, until age 4, just go with the flow. You may end up throwing away pre-intimacy just so you can knack in between baby naps, on the floor with dirty clothes on. It is because they don't prepare men to be fathers that they don't realise this. Those that have stayed with families who had really young kids when they are old enough to remember are usually understanding when their turn comes.

Fathers should hang in there, because it will get better some day and you don't want your marriage in shambles by the time kids become independent. When they start school, things get better a bit.

innovestor:


Thanks so much for your mature candid opinions and questions. I will answer you accordingly (my answers will amaze you).

Ans 1. She enjoys it with me and is always fully satisfied when we engage in it. My concern if frequency and adventure.
Ans 2. She does a small business which does not take most of her time (4hrs in a day averagely). Kids are not in school yet as they have not reached the age (note: 2 house helps on ground to help out). Cooking prep done by maids, cooking done by her. Washing machine available. Cleaning by all. So u see, no excessive stress on any one. I am the one to even complain of stress as i work very hard.
Ans 3. She has no business thinking of money. I provide for all needs for the family. trust me.

babfet:
Well I think the problem is purely when a man choose to be faithful to his wife and the wife thinks she got his man 100% to herself no matter what.
I think the best thing to do is to act as if u don't care for sometime, do as if u don't notice how sexy she is , you can even act as if you not looking at her when she is naked this will got her thinking maybe you are cheating and she will want to.protect her home.
But please don't go outside my brother cos the end result will never be good
My prayer is God will bless us the husbands the more cos no man will buy his woman Range in the afternoon and night ask for poomon wey no go get am infact Na she sef go ask u to.come chop

BellaElla:
OP your situation isn't strange, but how u go about determines the result u will get
you have already made some mistakes like threatening to sleep outside.
the day my husband threatens me with infidelity, I doubt he would get the solution he desires.
the issue here is both of you are on different sexual wavelengths.
Some women are just not naturally adventurous in bed, some see things like giving head and talking dirty in bed a taboo
if she grew up like that, then there is nothing you can do, its already ingrained in her.
what you can however do is to try and increase the frequency of the action.
do you only hold her when you want some? do you flaunt her on social media? how often do you compliment her? do you cuddle her at night? are on chatting with other women in her presence?
have you bought her any intimate stuff, buy her sexy lingerie, turn her to your model, carry her on ur laps and tell her how beautiful and irresistible she is to you. that you are lucky to have her etc, etc.
some women need their inner sirens to be cajoled out, every woman loves to be wooed and sweet talked by her man. whether he means it or not . for instance even if her body changed after childbirth, tell her its more sexy now , if she believes in her sexuality, she would flaunt it for u. don't go and start complaining of fallen brezz and loose kini o. she would never recover from it
finally lose those your female friends numbers, it is highly disrespectful. you are married and as such the only females you should be interacting with those that benefit you financially, academically or business wise.
if your wives male friends before marriage should start calling her frequently, I guess you wont fancy it.
what would even give a single woman the morale to tell u to come and chop, that means your female friends are highly promiscuous and have no shame, you cant make progress in your home if you still keep those loose girls as your friends and confidants.

mercy232:
Young man, am a motivational speaker... contact me on whatsapp cos am willing to help out # 08058044675...

Ganjababe:
Life is full of surprises though. it's truly different strokes for different folks.
I have been married for over a year with a baby. And it is quite funny that Bae and I do the "DO" every other day. AS in, no retreat no surrender. maybe cos we didn't engage in Sex before marriage ("maybe " but I can't imagine me tired for that thing.
Chai! It's fire for fire o
@ OP, I guess you must have found a solution to the problem at hand. However, Please don't use this as an excuse to look outside o. Lol

innovestor:

YOU ARE BLESSED!

innovestor:

Are you married?

eezeribe:

It's been two years since then, did the situation improve?

innovestor:


the moment i wrote i knew a question like this would arise.

Its called sacrifice because its hard, but it's meant for a greater good. It's been a sinusoidal wave though i wish more of the wave lengths could be on the +ve side of the chart and not the other side.

This is my philosophical and scientific response to your question.

Rosarie:
Am in ur wife shoes now.

Onegai:
Innovestor, today is Thursday, send your wife a message right now, ask her what she's doing, if there's light etc. Come home earlier than usual and play with the kids. Buy cake for your wife and everybody eat. When I say play, I mean PLAY. Dance like an egun masquerade. During this play, you guys should make a paper ball, recreate the NIG-GER match of yesterday (pls be Germany ) and stylishly throw it at Mum. Let her pass it back, infact,rush her if she holds the ball long. Feel free to smack her bum during the play, no red card given. Don't ask for sex.

Tomorrow, come home and watch whatever she wants to watch, discuss it with her animatedly. What hairdo is she wearing? Bet you don't know offhand tell her to bring her nailpolish, you want to practise painting because the economy has crashed and manipedis ain't cheap. Ask her what's going with life. Just listen. Gist freely.

Saturday, you and her go to the mall. Go watch a movie together (no kids allowed). In the car home, hold her hand. When you get home, don't sit in your usual seat (the one you use as your personal space), sit with her. Tell her "I've missed us having fun, I've missed you". See how the evening goes.

Onegai:
Innovestor, today is Thursday, send your wife a message right now, ask her what she's doing, if there's light etc. Come home earlier than usual and play with the kids. Buy cake for your wife and everybody eat. When I say play, I mean PLAY. Dance like an egun masquerade. During this play, you guys should make a paper ball, recreate the NIG-GER match of yesterday (pls be Germany ) and stylishly throw it at Mum. Let her pass it back, infact,rush her if she holds the ball long. Feel free to smack her bum during the play, no red card given. Don't ask for sex.

Tomorrow, come home and watch whatever she wants to watch, discuss it with her animatedly. What hairdo is she wearing? Bet you don't know offhand tell her to bring her nailpolish, you want to practise painting because the economy has crashed and manipedis ain't cheap. Ask her what's going with life. Just listen. Gist freely.

Saturday, you and her go to the mall. Go watch a movie together (no kids allowed). In the car home, hold her hand. When you get home, don't sit in your usual seat (the one you use as your personal space), sit with her. Tell her "I've missed us having fun, I've missed you". See how the evening goes.

innovestor:


the moment i wrote i knew a question like this would arise.

Its called sacrifice because its hard, but it's meant for a greater good. It's been a sinusoidal wave though i wish more of the wave lengths could be on the +ve side of the chart and not the other side.

This is my philosophical and scientific response to your question.

Saffi:
Please give a straight answer

Learnt a lot from this thread, others can learn too.