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Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant Part 2 / Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant / Living In Australia/life As An Australian Immigrant (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant by Nobody: 9:51pm On Dec 21, 2018 |
blessings2017:Let me just advise you this, stop arguing with that dude honestly he will drag you down to his own level and beat you arms down with his wealth of experience . lol na joke o. On a more serious note, I find AzeD1 arguement sometimes difficult to comprehend, like the point he is trying to make here: Parents of the bride? In Igbo land, the women are not even allowed were the discussion is taking place. The Yoruba's don't collect it anymore so I don't know why you are saying parents because its usually 'elders' comprised of men. Isn't this statement absolutely preposterous ? How can you say this brotherly howwwwwwww If the men are the one collecting bride price is it the men from the husbands family or the wives family ? Can you stand in front of your prospective father-in-law and tell him : because your child will be equal to me in this marriage so am not paying you the dowry just lets kiss and become husband and wife and he will not send the dogs after you ? 8 Likes |
Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant by blessings2017(m): 9:52pm On Dec 21, 2018 |
AZeD1: Re-read my post and see that i stated bride price and other requirements which are chiefly borne by the groom. Women not being participants in the discussion doesn't make it any less a bride price. Likewise, parents in an African definition connotes more than the real parents of a child. 2 Likes |
Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant by Nobody: 9:53pm On Dec 21, 2018 |
Can’t believe we are still talking about this nonsense. 4 Likes |
Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant by slimlanre: 9:53pm On Dec 21, 2018 |
TheCongo2: |
Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant by 30watts: 10:03pm On Dec 21, 2018 |
. Olabestonic001: |
Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant by AZeD1(m): 10:10pm On Dec 21, 2018 |
Guitarlife: blessings2017:Men pay bride price to Men. If the Men decide not to collect anymore, there won't be any bride price to pay. Saying women should stop the collection of bride price is akin to blaming children for child labour. If their parents don't sell them out there would be no child labour. 19 Likes |
Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant by claseek(f): 10:11pm On Dec 21, 2018 |
... 1 Like |
Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant by claseek(f): 10:12pm On Dec 21, 2018 |
Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant by Nobody: 10:15pm On Dec 21, 2018 |
Guitarlife, I owe you a drink if we ever meet in person. Not that I agree with all your stated views but I'm impressed with how you engaged and responded maturely without resorting to the needless name calling. You know what you seek for and that is good. I believe there are women out there who may be seeking same too. On the other hand, there are men who seek the opposite of what you desire and for sure, there are even more women to meet the demand. In the end, as with most things in life, it's all down to our CHOICES. Live and let live. 38 Likes |
Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant by maternal: 10:21pm On Dec 21, 2018 |
adewa1980: True. Wasn't talking about those people though. |
Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant by Vancouver4(f): 10:40pm On Dec 21, 2018 |
If you are overly wise, you won't tarry in marriage. Na so my mama teach me 10 Likes |
Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant by maternal: 10:44pm On Dec 21, 2018 |
Zutlin: I'm usually right. lol. But seriously, I hope you find a way to migrate. The chance of finding a guy like guitarlife won't drastically reduce if you come to the west (Canada/US), it will be eliminated. Guitar is just forming for this thread, and he knows he has no real power in Canada. The second he shows any signs of aggression, all she has to do is call 911, police will come with their guns and he'll be sitting in jail within an hour. The sec he says "divorce is out of the question", she'll file for divorce. After the judge splits the assets 50/50, he'll have to get a second job to help pay his child support bills on top of his regular bills. Because the gov't will automatically take it out of his pay. And if he can't make them ? Na jail be that. The man is making mouth. Here in Canada he'll be kissing his wifes asss begging her not to leave. I have an uncle worse than him and he refuses to bring his wife to Canada. According to him she'd "finish him here in Canada". He's legit scared that she'll have certain powers she could only dream off in naija. They've been "married" for 8 years now. Guitar is just talking nonsense trust me. There's actually a good article on this. https://www.newtelegraphng.com/2018/06/why-nigerian-husbands-kill-wives-in-us-investigation/ 6 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant by Estac: 10:53pm On Dec 21, 2018 |
Your views sir, are representative of biblical headship and I have to say sir, that you are a representation of manhood. If start to drop my two-two cents, POF go finish. But I will only add that "submission" or what is like to call respect (in its deepest and most profound form) comes naturally to a woman who is loved (sincerely, unconditionally and yes, sacrificially) and treated right. It is a natural bi-product of a loving and trusting relationship. Submission, like respect cannot be "demanded" but earned. It's not something that is earned merely by acquiring the title "husband" or by having a phallus (borrowing the word from a poster). A woman will naturally submit to someone she trusts -- trust to understand, consider and more importantly, PROTECT her in all of his decisions/dealings. A woman will let down her guard for, and defer to any man she KNOWS will protect her, no matter what. Sirs, I understand how important submission is to a man. But you also don't want forced or pretend "submission", the type that leads to marital collapse once the woman finds an escape route. You want the submission that is willingly given, from a place of a woman's trust. DaddyTheFather: 40 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant by Lovell234(m): 11:08pm On Dec 21, 2018 |
THANK YOU Estac: 2 Likes |
Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant by ceemac: 11:10pm On Dec 21, 2018 |
Zutlin: I will appreciate you don't use that 'submission' as a bait and ride on his goodwill to immigrate after which you execute the bolded because you have will have arrived a new space.. Get done with whatever your plans may be in wherever you are, stand up as a WOMAN that you are and paddle the immigration ship from start to finish by yourself so you can get married to anyone of choice on arrival in your new space... That exactly is what is worth doing and honorable to do in the position to which you stand now.. It will be inhumane to have the man invest in all that pertains to immigration with a bottled up plan of wielding the axe when the food don done oo.. 15 Likes |
Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant by claseek(f): 11:21pm On Dec 21, 2018 |
Guitarlife:hmm... i don't refute the man is the head but it would seem your definition of been the head is way different or totally extreme. I expect any man would be happy to have his woman fight on his behalf, where he lost and in this case have a better bargaining power. This is just like with my parent. My mum is the action lady and my dad is the cool one. And yet even with all her gragra, she still respects my dad totally and his position as the man is not questionable, and their marriage still going strong. Infact i can almost picture my husband hailing me if this was both of us in that situation, its hilarious to imagine him been upset that i got more change from the driver. Trust me, it doesnt make you less of a man. It doesn't at all. It doesnt strip you of your "headness". (For lack of more appropriate word to use). Lastly, when you say you want your woman soft, even though you have claimed its not the same as weak. Believe me, you totally mean weak. Yes weak women. except you dont want to accept that truth. I totally respect your opinion though. No one can make your decisions for you. I just think its also important that we open our eyes and minds to other contrasting views to help inform our decisions better. 11 Likes |
Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant by TheManOfTheYear: 11:22pm On Dec 21, 2018 |
Does it mean that one must have over 2 years of working experience before he can qualify for the FSW entry program? |
Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant by Zutlin: 11:43pm On Dec 21, 2018 |
ceemac: I did mention being thankful for a family who's got my back financially and otherwise - I really meant that. Besides, my exit isn't tied to PPR. He's aware of my intention. 6 Likes |
Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant by Ethelia(f): 11:52pm On Dec 21, 2018 |
Nawa....... Thanks for all the well wishes baby says a big thank you to her nairaland aunties and uncle's God bless you all 15 Likes |
Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant by Nobody: 12:01am On Dec 22, 2018 |
Ethelia:Congrats on your new baby Ethelia.... 2 Likes |
Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant by Nobody: 12:36am On Dec 22, 2018 |
Here we go.... 16 Likes
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Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant by TheCongo2: 1:35am On Dec 22, 2018 |
Bsbabe: Treadmill ? |
Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant by Nobody: 1:39am On Dec 22, 2018 |
TheCongo2: Oh yeah... making progress.... 10 Likes
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Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant by TheCongo2: 1:53am On Dec 22, 2018 |
Bsbabe: There you go girl. I am pretty sure Guitarlife had got the message: Don't even think of messing with women in 2019 given that they can lift weight and do pushups This is a lesson I have learnt ages ago 14 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant by Lhimeet(m): 2:25am On Dec 22, 2018 |
Oh God! Which kain wahala be this?No landing gist? This argument have been over flogged abeg Well, people like us are learning anyways. But it's okay my daddies and mummies 20 Likes
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Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant by TheCongo2: 2:30am On Dec 22, 2018 |
Lhimeet: So, which side of this argument are you standing on ? Just pick a side 3 Likes |
Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant by jhoci: 2:33am On Dec 22, 2018 |
You've just hit the nail on the head. Respect (submission) is earned and not demanded for. Enter a relationship with love and an open mind not with your "submission antenna" on full alert and you'd be happier. Estac: 11 Likes |
Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant by mikkyphp(m): 3:28am On Dec 22, 2018 |
Great arguments here even though i didn't relish the name calling and ad-hominem by esteemed veterans, using anecdotal extremes as general statements e.t.c I get @Guiterlife 's point, but i dont agree with many nuances in his argument. Also a lot of us should also be willing to leave our ideological echo-chamber and welcome new ideas. People exist first as individuals whose values are shaped by familial experiences, culture, religious doctrines and social constructs. We as Africans always seem to be quick to adopt cultures foreign to us cos we see it as "progressive". Many of these "progressive" doctrines and post-mordernist ideologies who believe gender is a social construct, have led to the erosion of traditional values and the hike in divorce, depression and suicide rates. Lots of asians on the other hand, remain tightly knit because regardless of the society they find themselves, they always try to preserve and maintain their "culture"- way of life. This is by no means me saying we shouldn't adapt to the nuances of our new environment - heck when the financial realities hit you, you will know that all hands(man +woman) needs to be on deck to make things on the family front work. Value divergence is fundamental to the the cause of strife in most marriages of immigrant families. There is no formula. Marriage is all about constant negotiations and compromises between 2 people working towards a common vision/goal. One defers to the other and vice versa depending on who has the higher proficiency per time. Every marriage is different. Negotiate for what works for you. A recipe for discontentment and depression is agreeing to a position that goes against what you stand for - your values. 15 Likes |
Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant by Olalekank(m): 5:46am On Dec 22, 2018 |
maternal: ...and here goes the double standard.. 3 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant by pejuhazel(f): 7:38am On Dec 22, 2018 |
Huh?! ceemac: |
Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant by Homguy(m): 7:55am On Dec 22, 2018 |
Zutlin: maternal:Just curious, are you encouraging her to continue deceiving her husband till they get to Canada and then file for a divorce? You have really just heard her own side(one side) of the story. While there are tons of good women out there, others are very manipulative. If she wasn't going to be submissive later on why pretend to the man just to get married only to start crying about submission later on. Maybe he is quite rich. Maybe she doesn't find him attractive anymore and all this is just an excuse to dump him after leaving the shores. While we all have very different views about family life, I frankly believe it's important to define terms and know your spouse before tie in any knots. 9 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant by Homguy(m): 8:01am On Dec 22, 2018 |
mikkyphp:This is my point exactly to Zutlin post. |
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