I was thinking this same thing today... about how unfair it is for parents to make it obvious they have favourites. Was utterly surprised to see a thread about it.

When i was in the primary school I was the biggest failure among my siblings,actually intelligence was part of our family,but I rather choose to read archeology rather than focus so I was ill treated by everyone .my dad once spent a whole holiday without talking to me,just because I failed a term.my life was almost miserable those days.

But when I entered secondary school I became a star student,and me who was once the family shame was now daddies pride.

So you see, parents generally love their kids equally but certain personal qualities makes them show extra love to a particular child.

Two of the many reasons- too many children and frustration bringing them up! Break that cycle by having fewer children and see how you would cherish him/her.

Blakjewelry:
it might happen naturally but please don't let it show

rightly said t is only human to have preference for one particular thing when you have multiple even if they are the samething but when it comes to kids yes it happens but you have to try all you can not to let it show or make it obvious but sometimes the situation may warrant you to exhibit such behavior please don’t not fail to do that in a positive way though and know when to strike the balance . Because I have seen situations where the parents try to show the equal love all the time and at the end of the day the entire pack becomes useless cause they know they have their parents wrapped round their fingers

Not right, it will create bad blood in the family.

rilikalid:
To the best of my understanding, there is nothing like favorite child in the real sense of it. But a child, who parent consider to be the weakest among other children tend to get more attention and care from the parent and it makes people perceive them as favorite. So if f you have being perceived as your parent's favorite, check yourself. It is either you are the last child, only girl or the less successful among your siblings

I can relate, amongst my siblings i was the one topping his class, this made my parents focus on my siblings education (private tutor and enough time to read while I work like Jackie ). This later mad me very industrious, I've worked four jobs (one was a formal #85,000 job) and my elder sister who just graduated is yet to have a real formal experience, I guess this is why the let me buy most of my things for my self with my own money.

It is not right to show favouritism towards some of your children over others. My mother did that, showing preferential treatment towards my brother her only son and her first born daughter while neglecting and being abusive to we her middle kids. Today, I don't even bother with my mother. She wasn't much of a mother anyway. Some humans need to stay away from parenting!

dasparrow:
It is not right to show favouritism towards some of your children over others. My mother did that, showing preferential treatment towards my brother her only son and her first born daughter while neglecting and being abusive to we her middle kids. Today, I don't even bother with my mother. She wasn't much of a mother anyway. Some humans need to stay away from parenting!

Well said. Parenting is a skill. Some really need to stay away from it or have only one child.

danduj:
Every parent has a favorite child, they just try as much as possible to hide it

Not so. Some parents don't bother to hide it.

Ghostmode2two:
If one of your children is very stubborn and disobedient and you have another that is calm and obedient will you love them equally? It is natural to have a fav child but don't show it. Jacob and Joseph and his brothers are all examples for you

Joseph's story is a proof dat u shldn't display ur love for 1 child over anoda. That was d reason y his brothers hated him.

xtivin2:
Biblically it's okay.

And d bible also shows d negative effect it has if d love is xcessively shown.

chiboy1116:
all this kind epistle , dude evn God has a favourite son . You can't love all your kids equally ,but don't make it obvious.


PS. Just read it, your dad really f up. He really made it obvious . Sorry for all those times he caused u pains.

Pls who's god's fav son?

brightnonso:

To have favorites is not bad because Even God has too...

Can't u allow God 2 rest? Must u drag him in2 dis discussion?

OkaNaUbe:


Most parents have favourite children, and it is dependent on many factors, some of which are:

1. Incarnated relative: For those that believe that people reincarnate, when their kids are born, they do divination to know the "agu" (Igbo) or reincarnate the child is. Imagine the feeling the father is told that his daughter is an incarnate of his late mother.

2. Type of child: Take a family of six[s][/s] girls and no male, there would be a special feeling, especially by the father towards that child or vice versa the mother.

And so on.


We must strive to show our kids equal love or seen to do so. As a matter of fact, a loved child should be chastised most.

Or parent with 6 boys and no female,that one is worse.

I don't have a favourite child,they are all the same to me,equal love,i suffered it so they won't!!

anytime I hear about favorite child the story about Jacob and Joseph comes to my mind. showing a particular child you love him or her more than others breeds jealousy and hatred. I have a boy and a girl. how can I weigh how much I love each other? not possible cos I love them much, can't do without them.

Favoritism amongst children is due to some reasons, I believe. I was born a year after my dad's mom died, this is a woman that didn't live long to enjoy the fruits of her labour. I learnt my dad loved her so much and that he wasn't happy she died like that. I was named Yetunde, dad believes I'm his 'mother come back' and he treats me with more care. I was told I look like her, have her complexion, her thick hair, and her funny character; I just remind him so much of his mom so there's no way he can hide it. He loves us equally and supplies all his children's need tho but, he is never joking when it's concerning me. We're all grown now anyway.

It is a normal things that we can't have control over. However we should manage it with wisdom!

I dunno

If you see where this evil act has wrecked a whole family into pieces, you will hate such women. If I notice my wife practices this, we will go for paternity test for all my kids.
So abnormal....
It kills souls in a family so easily in gay abandon due to depression.
Any woman that practice this is evil.
It's mostly practiced by illiterate parents.
Everyone is my mum's favourite!

for those asking who is God favourite, God called David "a man after his own heart"...

i guess you can decipher the meaning.

and it was clearly stated why God loved him so much.

those people saying they love their children equally, I can bet their kids are very little, just wait till they are all grown up and can make decisions for themselves.

its just human nature, where the problem lies is making it too obvious and making their other children feel less loved.

I hope my mother is reading this. this is one of my reasons to have just a child that is, if I must have... told me you don't care if I die over very little issues and treated me like shit just because you have substitute. I hope you know you are now gradually aging.

selfwife:
I hope my mother is reading this. this is one of my reasons to have just a child that is, if I must have... told me you don't care if I die over very little issues and treated me like shit just because you have substitute. I hope you know you are now gradually aging.

That was harsh.... So sorry dear

kiddoiLL:
it is so so wrong, that shít fvcks up your child mentally while you have no idea how it's affecting them. This exact post you made is part of my struggles when I was depressed. Like I once said My dad was mostly responsible for a big part of my depression even though he had no idea.... He would show it openly in front of us all, and say it to us how my brother is so lucky and how he likes him so much, I have two brothers, and 3 sisters... Man would spend a lot of money on my brother back then nd would come up with reasons for the rest of us.
Shít even got to my kid sister the last born who felt she's always being treated unfairly, and she would tell my cousin about how she just want to do and then leave home... when she left for school, you don't know how happy she was that she was gon be free from some of the treatment and drama.
Never treat your kids like one is better than the others, never treat one like he's superior to the others...
even if one is weak, embrace he or she and shower on them all the love they need, love only makes them stronger... Love is a strong language and kids and mostly teenagers need it, that's why they end up doing stuffs outside and ending up making the wrong decisions just because you as a parent failed to do the right thing, all you know is some fvcked up sense of righteousness and religious bullshit, forgetting life is more than that and they have feelings and crave other stuffs. .. your kids won't tell you, but it affects them mentally, at some point I hated my family cus of how it made me feel...
I can still remember the day he came home with one of his friends (that one is a traditionalist), his friend told him in my presence that I've been telling myself that “one day they'll wake up at home and not see me anymore”.
He was right because i was planning and developing ideas to leave home and kept thinking of where to go... the reason why I still remember that incident is because of the respond NY dad gave him, it's forever stuck in my head, my dad responded with “If anyone decides he wants to leave, he's free to”... I was just getting into J.S.S.1... the response he gave hit me so much i couldn't get it off my head.

you should never treat one child better than the other,
I was suicidal but I got passed it, I'm fine and doing well now and up till now my dad has no idea the damage he did to me all those years.
I know how it feels to go through all that whole shít and depression and I vowed I'll never let any of my kids go through that phase or treat em that way....

and whoever can should push this to FP, there are still folks who needs to know and get this message

I sent u a mail brother.

Cutthbert:


I sent u a mail brother.

I've texted you... I think NL should find a better way to reach other members though

kiddoiLL:
I've texted you... I think NL should find a better way to reach other members though

Thanks bruh I will check It out now!!!