my husband and I have been together for six years now , married for just nine months. But the past 4 months my husband has not touched me, the last time we tried to get intimate he could not even get it up.
All he does now is complain about how he regrets marrying me,how fat I look(am pregnant), how I should go out and look for money( I work as a teacher), but due to my condition I stopped doing extra lessons so I just depend on my salary.
whenever I ask him what I did he won't be able to come up with anything meaningful. He will just tell me that am a liability to him and not helping him. This is a man that I split the bill 50/ 50 with. I used to work extra hours and come at night as at the time I was 4 months pregnant. it just.
A lot of things are happening but what is annoying me most is that he says he will frustrate me until I will pack up and leave the house..
I just want to rid myself of any attachment I have to him. put to bed and get out of his life . I can't be begging for intimacy from my husband.

My fear is that he shouldnt turn into a wife batterer. Please try to avoid situations that will spark his furiousness, just stay strong until you give birth to your bundle of joy. Its well with your marriage.

Its quite obvious he's getting it up for someone else outside your home and may be remote controlled by that person to make you pack out of your matrimonial home.

Its sad a marriage that's less than a year is headed for the rocks.

People may tell you to give up and leave your husband but now is the time to fight tooth and nail for your marriage. The moment you leave your home he wins.

Involve external relatives. Expose his recklessness to his and your family members.

Its a fvcking marriage for fvck sake and not a one night stand.

Do not let him take you for a fvcking ride.

does he have diabetes?

Can a man just change overnight?

Madam let us hear his side of the story

inioluwajoe:
my husband and I have been together for six years now , married for just nine months. But the past 4 months my husband has not touched me, the last time we tried to get intimate he could not even get it up.
All he does now is complain about how he regrets marrying me,how fat I look(am pregnant), how I should go out and look for money( I work as a teacher), but due to my condition I stopped doing extra lessons so I just depend on my salary.
whenever I ask him what I did he won't be able to come up with anything meaningful. He will just tell me that am a liability to him and not helping him. This is a man that I split the bill 50/ 50 with. I used to work extra hours and come at night as at the time I was 4 months pregnant. it just.
A lot of things are happening but what is annoying me most is that he says he will frustrate me until I will pack up and leave the house..
I just want to rid myself of any attachment I have to him. put to bed and get out of his life . I can't be begging for intimacy from my husband.

What was your sex life before you got pregnant and/or became fat?

Women who want to raise shoulders and compete with the man usually end up in this manner. During your years of dating, you must have shown tendencies of independence (trying to be at par with your man on bills related issues). Some of you even go as far as saying you want to split the bills on Nairaland just to appear "attractive".

Until everyone returns to the core ethics of marriage, we will never get it right.

If your man do not see himself as the sole provider in your courtship days, nothing will change when you're married. The core word is here is courtship not boyfriend/girlfriend relationship though.

As regards the sex, I am speechless reason being that fat/chubby (reasonable fat), for me, is sexy and attractive. I would never understand why some men dislike that.

Frankly speaking, I think you should be more worried about what your marriage has become (from love to hate affair). How a man would boldly say to his wife such condescending words is beyond my understanding. I would never even say such to an annoying ex, an annoying fellow or enemy. I'm always very careful with how I describe people based on looks and appearances.

In sum, I think your hubby has some (more) underlying issues such as lousiness and arrogance (these issues are most likely innate, which you've, over the years, ignored).

Deal with the aforementioned issues ma'am, and sex (should be the least of your worries now) would come naturally.

Ishilove:
Can a man just change overnight?
Madam let us hear his side of the story

God bless you.
Sounded like a one-sided report.

Give me a moment.
Five things make a husabnd resent his wife to the extent of shaming her bodily.

1. Arrogant display by his wife. Have you become pompous in recent times? You talked about sharing bills fifty-fifty. A woman who brags about sharing bills is arrogance personified.

2. Power tussle. What decisions are you refusing to let your husband have his way on? Men progressively develop resentment towards women who threaten their decision-making position within the family.

3. Financial fights. Do you constantly fight over money to the extent that you remind him of how you "fed" him when he had nothing? You seem to acknowledge it your write-up that money is part of the issue.

4. Your personal hygiene. Sex dies with the death of body management. What has changed about the way you take care of your body? We can blame him for not "loving" your body anymore. However we must acknowledge his human sensitivity which is very natural. Your hygiene should not die because you have "secured" a man on a permanent basis especially in this age where marital sanctity means little to many.

5. Respect. Do you still respect him? Did your regard for him wane drastically after you both got married? Familiarity should never erase respectfulness. Retain your respect for your husband, and he will retain his love for you.

All said and done, find the devil that has crept into either of or both of you and kick it out now. Your home isn't lost yet. Pray, involve a counsellor that he respects, and pray more. JESUS wants your marriage to flourish! Shalom!

Acidosis:
Women who want to raise shoulders and compete with the man usually end up in this manner. During your years of dating, you must have shown tendencies of independence (trying to be at par with your man on bills related issues). Some of you even go as far as saying you want to split the bills on Nairaland just to appear "attractive".

Until everyone returns to the core ethics of marriage, we will never get it right.

If your man do not see himself as the sole provider in your courtship days, nothing will change when you're married. The core word is here is courtship not boyfriend/girlfriend relationship though.

As regards the sex, I am speechless reason being that fat/chubby (reasonable fat), for me, is sexy and attractive. I would never understand why some men dislike that.

Frankly speaking, I think you should be more worried about what your marriage has become (from love to hate affair). How a man would boldly say to his wife such condescending words is beyond my understanding. I would never even say such to an annoying ex, an annoying fellow or enemy. I'm always very careful with how I describe people based on looks and appearances.

In sum, I think your hubby has some (more) underlying issues such as lousiness and arrogance (these issues are most likely innate, which you've, over the years, ignored).

Deal with the aforementioned issues ma'am, and sex (should be the least of your worries now) would come naturally.

Acidosis:
Women who want to raise shoulders and compete with the man usually end up in this manner. During your years of dating, you must have shown tendencies of independence (trying to be at par with your man on bills related issues). Some of you even go as far as saying you want to split the bills on Nairaland just to appear "attractive".

Until everyone returns to the core ethics of marriage, we will never get it right.

If your man do not see himself as the sole provider in your courtship days, nothing will change when you're married. The core word is here is courtship not boyfriend/girlfriend relationship though.

As regards the sex, I am speechless reason being that fat/chubby (reasonable fat), for me, is sexy and attractive. I would never understand why some men dislike that.

Frankly speaking, I think you should be more worried about what your marriage has become (from love to hate affair). How a man would boldly say to his wife such condescending words is beyond my understanding. I would never even say such to an annoying ex, an annoying fellow or enemy. I'm always very careful with how I describe people based on looks and appearances.

In sum, I think your hubby has some (more) underlying issues such as lousiness and arrogance (these issues are most likely innate, which you've, over the years, ignored).

Deal with the aforementioned issues ma'am, and sex (should be the least of your worries now) would come naturally.

And a woman will love this guy?

sassysure:

And a woman will love this guy?

How do you mean? Do you have issues with my comments?

I always look forward to your comments on family section. I hope you'll one day become a professional counsellor and write books and become a best seller. Happy New year Sir.

Acidosis:
Women who want to raise shoulders and compete with the man usually end up in this manner. During your years of dating, you must have shown tendencies of independence (trying to be at par with your man on bills related issues). Some of you even go as far as saying you want to split the bills on Nairaland just to appear "attractive".

Until everyone returns to the core ethics of marriage, we will never get it right.

If your man do not see himself as the sole provider in your courtship days, nothing will change when you're married. The core word is here is courtship not boyfriend/girlfriend relationship though.

As regards the sex, I am speechless reason being that fat/chubby (reasonable fat), for me, is sexy and attractive. I would never understand why some men dislike that.

Frankly speaking, I think you should be more worried about what your marriage has become (from love to hate affair). How a man would boldly say to his wife such condescending words is beyond my understanding. I would never even say such to an annoying ex, an annoying fellow or enemy. I'm always very careful with how I describe people based on looks and appearances.

In sum, I think your hubby has some (more) underlying issues such as lousiness and arrogance (these issues are most likely innate, which you've, over the years, ignored).

Deal with the aforementioned issues ma'am, and sex (should be the least of your worries now) would come naturally.

Ishilove:
Can a man just change overnight?

Madam let us hear his side of the story

Ishibaby happy new year!
I'm following

Esthered:
I always look forward to your comments on family section. I hope you'll one day become a professional counsellor and write books and become a best seller. Happy New year Sir.

hmm so gratifying to read your kind words dear. Thank you very much.

I trust you're already enjoying the new year. I wish you all the best this year and beyond.

Thanks. Amen.

Acidosis:


hmm so gratifying to read your kind words dear. Thank you very much.

I trust you're already enjoying the new year. I wish you all the best this year and beyond.

dingbang:
My fear is that he shouldnt turn into a wife batterer. Please try to avoid situations that will spark his furiousness, just stay strong until you give birth to your bundle of joy. Its well with your marriage.

thank sir will just concentrate on putting to bed first and get my life together afterwards

PstJohn:
Give me a moment.
Five things make a husabnd resent his wife to the extent of shaming her bodily.

1. Arrogant display by his wife. Have you become pompous in recent times? You talked about sharing bills fifty-fifty. A woman who brags about sharing bills is arrogance personified.

2. Power tussle. What decisions are you refusing to let your husband have his way on? Men progressively develop resentment towards women who threaten their decision-making position within the family.

3. Financial fights. Do you constantly fight over money to the extent that you remind him of how you "fed" him when he had nothing? You seem to acknowledge it your write-up that money is part of the issue.

4. Your personal hygiene. Sex dies with the death of body management. What has changed about the way you take care of your body? We can blame him for not "loving" your body anymore. However we must acknowledge his human sensitivity which is very natural. Your hygiene should not die because you have "secured" a man on a permanent basis especially in this age where marital sanctity means little to many.

5. Respect. Do you still respect him? Did your regard for him wane drastically after you both got married? Familiarity should never erase respectfulness. Retain your respect for your husband, and he will retain his love for you.

All said and done, find the devil that has crept into either of or both of you and kick it out now. Your home isn't lost yet. Pray, involve a counsellor that he respects, and pray more. JESUS wants your marriage to flourish! Shalom!

thank u sir am guilty of fighting with him over money,as well as disrespect, thanks for pointing out those faults to me. I have not really seen it from that perspective. will work on this. God bless you sir

Acidosis:
Women who want to raise shoulders and compete with the man usually end up in this manner. During your years of dating, you must have shown tendencies of independence (trying to be at par with your man on bills related issues). Some of you even go as far as saying you want to split the bills on Nairaland just to appear "attractive".

Until everyone returns to the core ethics of marriage, we will never get it right.

If your man do not see himself as the sole provider in your courtship days, nothing will change when you're married. The core word is here is courtship not boyfriend/girlfriend relationship though.

As regards the sex, I am speechless reason being that fat/chubby (reasonable fat), for me, is sexy and attractive. I would never understand why some men dislike that.

Frankly speaking, I think you should be more worried about what your marriage has become (from love to hate affair). How a man would boldly say to his wife such condescending words is beyond my understanding. I would never even say such to an annoying ex, an annoying fellow or enemy. I'm always very careful with how I describe people based on looks and appearances.

In sum, I think your hubby has some (more) underlying issues such as lousiness and arrogance (these issues are most likely innate, which you've, over the years, ignored).

Deal with the aforementioned issues ma'am, and sex (should be the least of your worries now) would come naturally.

thank you will work on my fault which is pride and arrogance. I guess I needed a Man's view on this issue. we cannot know it all. grateful for your words of wisdom

do not move this topic to front page. please mods take note. would like it to remain in the family section because here they have wise and mature folks. thank you

FreshBoss007:
does he have diabetes?

no sir

Ishilove:
Can a man just change overnight?

Madam let us hear his side of the story

no he did not. I admit that the story is one-sided . I have my faults too. you are a wise woman and I like you for the way you answered

sassysure:

And a woman will love this guy?

he is not all that writes

There's so much double standard going on here that it has become a joke. If a man complains about sexles marriage people will blame his spouse, many will even advise him to take a second wife or commit adultery but if it's a female complaining she will be accused of pride, wickedness and many other stupid things.
Madam I don't blame you for being tired, the Holy books says spouses shouldn't deny themselves of sex in marriage, it is wrong.

Your husband is impotent. I'm sorry to be so blunt but if he can't get it up during intimacy then he's impotent and needs medical help. Seek help, let him go to a clinic for test, he might even have long term untreated sexual disease which made him this way. May I ask how you got pregnant with this type of sex life? You have license to it in marriage, if he's denying you he is sinning before God and if you have to cheat on him due to this, the blame will be on him spiritually. First get him medically scrutinized please.

divorce and move on

inioluwajoe:
my husband and I have been together for six years now , married for just nine months. But the past 4 months my husband has not touched me, the last time we tried to get intimate he could not even get it up.
All he does now is complain about how he regrets marrying me,how fat I look(am pregnant), how I should go out and look for money( I work as a teacher), but due to my condition I stopped doing extra lessons so I just depend on my salary.
whenever I ask him what I did he won't be able to come up with anything meaningful. He will just tell me that am a liability to him and not helping him. This is a man that I split the bill 50/ 50 with. I used to work extra hours and come at night as at the time I was 4 months pregnant. it just.
A lot of things are happening but what is annoying me most is that he says he will frustrate me until I will pack up and leave the house..
I just want to rid myself of any attachment I have to him. put to bed and get out of his life . I can't be begging for intimacy from my husband.

since you have made up your mind to leave him , why did you bring the matter here?

For your own sanity its the best decision ,especially temporary separation.

I'm very sure he was forced by you , family and friends to marry you because you felt you have wasted six years of your life with him

See you just ended up wasting another nine months, might end up as a divorcee with a child

No relationship should culminate into marriage if the other party isn't feeling it anymore

A failed relationship is better than many tears in marriage.
Please just pick your self up

If you have a good support system turn to them from now.
Make sure you figure out how he will contribute to your child's upkeep if you guys separate because men can be funny at times

Also start planning your life out, in the incidence that he doesn't contribute a dime to your baby's upkeep you'll have to be the child's all in all
Goodluck and I pray God gives you the strength to go through this and come out stronger.

PstJohn:
Give me a moment.
Five things make a husabnd resent his wife to the extent of shaming her bodily.

1. Arrogant display by his wife. Have you become pompous in recent times? You talked about sharing bills fifty-fifty. A woman who brags about sharing bills is arrogance personified.

2. Power tussle. What decisions are you refusing to let your husband have his way on? Men progressively develop resentment towards women who threaten their decision-making position within the family.

3. Financial fights. Do you constantly fight over money to the extent that you remind him of how you "fed" him when he had nothing? You seem to acknowledge it your write-up that money is part of the issue.

4. Your personal hygiene. Sex dies with the death of body management. What has changed about the way you take care of your body? We can blame him for not "loving" your body anymore. However we must acknowledge his human sensitivity which is very natural. Your hygiene should not die because you have "secured" a man on a permanent basis especially in this age where marital sanctity means little to many.

5. Respect. Do you still respect him? Did your regard for him wane drastically after you both got married? Familiarity should never erase respectfulness. Retain your respect for your husband, and he will retain his love for you.

All said and done, find the devil that has crept into either of or both of you and kick it out now. Your home isn't lost yet. Pray, involve a counsellor that he respects, and pray more. JESUS wants your marriage to flourish! Shalom!

Hahahahaha
I like how you cast all the blame on the woman
Far be it from an egoistical man to be at fault
Of course, it must always be the pregnant woman's fault that she is fat, make she diet or enter gym abi?
She pays 50% of the bills so she has bragging rights!
She is a partner in the marriage so she has equal decision making rights!
You people want the woman to be an equal in paying bills and a subordinate in making decisions. Lmao! Pick a struggle
Blame it on the devil, blame it on the woman, never on an poorly behaved man.

inioluwajoe:
no he did not. I admit that the story is one-sided . I have my faults too. you are a wise woman and I like you for the way you answered

lol

inioluwajoe:
but what is annoying me most is that he says he will frustrate me until I will pack up and leave the house..
I just want to rid myself of any attachment I have to him. put to bed and get out of his life . I can't be begging for intimacy from my husband.

don't be shy about it, let his family be aware the way he is treating you first.

Women....the 8th wonder of the world

Acidosis:
How do you mean? Do you have issues with my comments?

Yes.
Totally yes.
Used to like your comments yrs back but these days.............., u just lash out like you were burned

Sorry I used the wrong statement. That was so wrong.

sassysure:

Yes.
Totally yes.
Used to like your comments yrs back but these days.............., u just lash out like you were burned

Sorry I used the wrong statement. That was so wrong.

It's alright, I think I can relate with your views but what are those issues you have with the initial post? Do you have problems with a man being the sole provider?