HeavenlyCherub:
Hi everyone,

I always feel any time I'm on nairaland I have drama. This platform has helped me as a release over the years. I don't understand why I have been unlucky in love but I hope my posts can help someone. Last time I was here my boyfriend of years got another woman pregnant he still wants to marry me BUT I dont think I can deal with the deception. Lying is one thing but having a whole baby is something else.

So I met someone new. It felt like he was my bestfriend. I put my life on hold for him. I gave up my life for months so that I could help him be a better man. I gave up my home, finances, my car everything to push his vision. I'm a working class woman late 20s and he was a student with a part time job. It didnt bother me he didn't have much because I loved him.

He was kind and loving but I always felt I had to reassure him of his position in my life and to tell him he is enough. This man always made it seem like I didnt respect him because he didn't feel accomplished and wasn't happy of my support of the relationship. He always made me feel bad for being successful.

It's hard for men to accept women when they attain a certain level of success. Men say that they want a woman to be there for them when they are at their lowest, I was that woman but this man broke me emotionally and made me feel small.

I will not date a man with less money than me anymore they are insecure. I just want to advise other women not to over invest your time, emotions and finances in someone who is not your husband.

We women want to over invest because we believe we are showing love. Don't walk away with a broken heart and empty wallet.

-he did not cheat, but his insecurities got the best of the relationship and I decided to walk away even if I loved him.

Quick one, what was the age difference between you two?

Don't infect other women with your bad luck. You tried love, it failed, try again. One man and here you are berating all men. You don't want to find yourself ageing and alone. There are some poorly trained and ill-mannered men out there, we all know that but it's not enough reason to ask women not to invest in or help their man. Love is built by both parties. Look out for the values you desire that are there, not the ones you foist on the man.

HeavenlyCherub:
Hi everyone,

I always feel any time I'm on nairaland I have drama. This platform has helped me as a release over the years. I don't understand why I have been unlucky in love but I hope my posts can help someone. Last time I was here my boyfriend of years got another woman pregnant he still wants to marry me BUT I dont think I can deal with the deception. Lying is one thing but having a whole baby is something else.

So I met someone new. It felt like he was my bestfriend. I put my life on hold for him. I gave up my life for months so that I could help him be a better man. I gave up my home, finances, my car everything to push his vision. I'm a working class woman late 20s and he was a student with a part time job. It didnt bother me he didn't have much because I loved him.

He was kind and loving but I always felt I had to reassure him of his position in my life and to tell him he is enough. This man always made it seem like I didnt respect him because he didn't feel accomplished and wasn't happy of my support of the relationship. He always made me feel bad for being successful.

It's hard for men to accept women when they attain a certain level of success. Men say that they want a woman to be there for them when they are at their lowest, I was that woman but this man broke me emotionally and made me feel small.

I will not date a man with less money than me anymore they are insecure. I just want to advise other women not to over invest your time, emotions and finances in someone who is not your husband.

We women want to over invest because we believe we are showing love. Don't walk away with a broken heart and empty wallet.

-he did not cheat, but his insecurities got the best of the relationship and I decided to walk away even if I loved him.

sister, i was in your shoes once. After that i wrote off broke men, leveled up and got a new lover, may God rest his soul. It is a decision i do not regret. You have to look deep into yourself, heal, level up so that broke men dont have the guts to approach you and learn howbto play the game. Wish you luck.

It''s really painful when a lady is willing to start up and be supportive of her man and he is not grateful or appreciative of it.

HeavenlyCherub:


That was not what I was aiming for but I'm just telling you what I faced from him every time. Do you know how hard it is being with someone you constantly have to reassure or tell them they are enough.

Now you know how it feels when men get irritated by parasitic broke ladies...stick to your class.EOD

funmisticqueen:
sister, i was in your shoes once. After that i wrote off broke men, leveled up and got a new lover, may God rest his soul. It is a decision i do not regret. You have to look deep into yourself, heal, level up so that broke men dont have the guts to approach you and learn howbto play the game. Wish you luck.

It is very funny how you people use one excuse or incident to justify your actions. Can you imaging only one relationship with a broke guy that didn't work out and you people are very fast to rubbish subsequent broke guys and vow never to have anything to do with them, shame! Shame!! Shame!!!
Just like the way my wife's sister dated a struggling guy and for some reason didn't work out and she vowed never to date struggling guys again and went for a white guy working in oil and gas, the white guys is always showering her with gifts and money (afterall that is what she is looking for before as far as am concerned), she said before she ask A, the white guy would have given her A, B, C (can you imagine?)
An average nigerian girl is wicked and selfish, do you know how many broke, lazy, uncultured, loose girls men have dated and the relationship didn't work out? Millions and they didn't chicken out like women, they didn't quit, they didn't surrender.
They cried, lamented as usual(as you can see and confirm from there lamentations on nairaland) then pick up their self and move on, try the next relationship etc.
But for the ladies, it is a very good excuse to exit the good road and start passing the unlawful one way road at high speed why her fellow law breakers cherr her up and keep on encouraging her

HeavenlyCherub:


I love God and I am fully aware no relationship is perfect. I never made him a houseboy infact I still carried out my duties as his girlfriend. My ex still wants to work things out and remain friends. If I was as bad as you say I am would he still want to be with me. Money is not everything. Anyway I loved him and I always will. But for my sanity I need to let go. 

Maybe at the time he didnt notice, he keeps on referencing that I dont need him if we break up I have my job, property and family to fall back on but he has no one and needs to support his family. These talks were now a burden on me. He started becoming aggressive, angry and jealous. When I do anything I would always say its ours not mine.

I truly believe a man is the head of a home no way I would want to dominate. I'm not saying I was perfect but I did my best to love him it was never enough. He said I never respected him but I did. Inferiority got the best of him.

Don't get me wrong I'm not a bad looking woman and I had well to do men after me. It's sad because all I wanted was him.

Chaiii I come dey pity you sha. I can read out the sincerity of your comment and you don't seem like a proud person at all unlike what I truly expected.

Just count your losses and move on, I know truly that every woman cannot be arrogant like Linda Ikeji when they have money and it seems like you're not like that.

The problem is not really about broke Men, but Men's mentality and the way they think. Because your Man can be broke tomorrow, so what happens then?

You are on the right path, just find someone who is doing well & thinking right, its not about how much money he has. You need to know how he thinks.

funmisticqueen:
sister, i was in your shoes once. After that i wrote off broke men, leveled up and got a new lover, may God rest his soul. It is a decision i do not regret. You have to look deep into yourself, heal, level up so that broke men dont have the guts to approach you and learn howbto play the game. Wish you luck.

Broke Men having guts to approach you? Chaiii sister, ordinary Packaging is what will fall you. You will enter Benz and before you know it, he's in your pants.

You better change your mentality. Its not about how much he has.

HeavenlyCherub:


My dear..love makes you do stupid things sometimes..we don't choose who we love

It'd be interesting to hear his own version of the story.

But most men will probably behave that way. Lack of a job bruises the ego no doubt. The way you handle it as a man depends on your upbringing.

If you do have a good heart which you probably do, then don't sweat it. Your prince charming will sweep you off your feet soon. Don't settle for less because you are in a hurry. And don't write off any man because you earn more than him or because he's still struggling.

I'm sure you've heard the true story of that Nigerian couple.

The wife worked in a bank while the husband was jobless. The wife would receive her salary and give it all to the husband to disburse as he saw fit.
He gave her a percentage for her upkeep and for the housekeeping. While he used the rest to hustle and tried to start up some business.

This continued for months and months without any complaints from the wife or query as to how he spent her money. The money she earned.

Then after a long time, the husband got a good job with a multi national company or something of sorts.

He bought the family's first car and handed the keys over to the wife while he kept jumping on buses to work. after months of working he was able to afford an even better car than the first one.
He got home, collected the keys to the old car from his wife and gave her the keys to the new one.

It was the husband who came on FB to celebrate his wife and their wedding anniversary. He put up the whole story and their pictures with their kids.

I don't know why I decided to write this epistle, but the moral of the story is that both husband and wife were good people. Don't stop being good. Your blessing is around the corner. Not all financially stable men are sane. And not all struggling men are mad. Just be vigilant.

funmisticqueen:
sister, i was in your shoes once. After that i wrote off broke men, leveled up and got a new lover, may God rest his soul. It is a decision i do not regret. You have to look deep into yourself, heal, level up so that broke men dont have the guts to approach you and learn howbto play the game. Wish you luck.

Not so sis. Don't write off anyone and don't look down your nose at anyone.

Broke men can and do become billionaires and rich men lose their wealth all the time.

Quality of character in both classes of men is what's important.

SachaBastien:
Don't infect other women with your bad luck. You tried love, it failed, try again. One man and here you are berating all men. You don't want to find yourself ageing and alone. There are some poorly trained and ill-mannered men out there, we all know that but it's not enough reason to ask women not to invest in or help their man. Love is built by both parties. Look out for the values you desire that are there, not the ones you foist on the man.

God bless you sir

5thElement:


It'd be interesting to hear his own version of the story.

But most men will probably behave that way. Lack of a job bruises the ego no doubt. The way you handle it as a man depends on your upbringing.

If you do have a good heart which you probably do, then don't sweat it. Your prince charming will sweep you off your feet soon. Don't settle for less because you are in a hurry. And don't write off any man because you earn more than him or because he's still struggling.

I'm sure you've heard the true story of that Nigerian couple.

The wife worked in a bank while the husband was jobless. The wife would receive her salary and give it all to the husband to disburse as he saw fit.
He gave her a percentage for her upkeep and for the housekeeping. While he used the rest to hustle and tried to start up some business.

This continued for months and months without any complaints from the wife or query as to how he spent her money. The money she earned.

Then after a long time, the husband got a good job with a multi national company or something of sorts.

He bought the family's first car and handed the keys over to the wife while he kept jumping on buses to work. after months of working he was able to afford an even better car than the first one.
He got home, collected the keys to the old car from his wife and gave her the keys to the new one.

It was the husband who came on FB to celebrate his wife and their wedding anniversary. He put up the whole story and their pictures with their kids.

I don't know why I decided to write this epistle, but the moral of the story is that both husband and wife were good people. Don't stop being good. Your blessing is around the corner. Not all financially stable men are sane. And not all struggling men are mad. Just be vigilant.

Wow thank you for sharing this with me. It really touched my heart. I did everything for him in my power. Gave him my car and I would walk to work, gave him a place to live, rent free, clothed him, cooked. It wasn't enough. I have been very dismissive to people lately and I pray God can restore my heart so I can fully love and trust again. I'm not perfect but God knows I'm a good woman. I will heed your advice and not change who I am out of bitterness and wait on God. Thank you so much

tintedniggz:

Quick one, what was the age difference between you two?

I'm 28 he was 30

funmisticqueen:
sister, i was in your shoes once. After that i wrote off broke men, leveled up and got a new lover, may God rest his soul. It is a decision i do not regret. You have to look deep into yourself, heal, level up so that broke men dont have the guts to approach you and learn howbto play the game. Wish you luck.

Thank you love..I appreciate your kind words of encouragement

HeavenlyCherub:


I'm 28 he was 30

Oh!
Here I was guessing he was probably younger lol.
Sorry you had that experience from a bad egg, but that shouldn't stop your good works sis.

eljay22:


Thanks OP. You just proved the point I was trying to make. I did not ask you if you are from a well off family or if you have landed properties, yet you felt you should tell me. Why? To feel better about yourself I guess.

Please, let the poor boy be. I still insist you wanted to turn him to your houseboy. Talking like you were doing him a favour by dating him.

Heed to the advise of your fellow ladies and go for your class, where you both will wake up every morning and read out your accomplishments to each other.

Leave the poor guy alone !!!

Dude, your mindset is so negative. I think you would do the exact same thing the guy did. This is a huge sign of inferiority complex.

truthsayer009:


Broke Men having guts to approach you? Chaiii sister, ordinary Packaging is what will fall you. You will enter Benz and before you know it, he's in your pants.

You better change your mentality. Its not about how much he has.

lol, bring your benz na. I don pass that level o. I habe always weighed a man by his actions more than worrds, once the two disconnect, i either pplay him, or bouunce.

sunbilor:
Share your pix let me see if I can link you up with a better husband. You sound nice to me.

See format, iye!

HeavenlyCherub:


Wow thank you for sharing this with me. It really touched my heart. I did everything for him in my power. Gave him my car and I would walk to work, gave him a place to live, rent free, clothed him, cooked. It wasn't enough. I have been very dismissive to people lately and I pray God can restore my heart so I can fully love and trust again. I'm not perfect but God knows I'm a good woman. I will heed your advice and not change who I am out of bitterness and wait on God. Thank you so much

thaat storry only happens in 1% not the 99.9%. Dont be fooled. The man must have been rich before he lost his job therefore she kknewnhis character before that job. Men dont show their true character untilnthwy are wealthy

Jayhazard:

See format, iye!

Check my previous posts. I am married! I did my wedding in December, 2018. So I no dey chase woman. To be frank, I have people I could link her to if she is interested and beautiful.

HeavenlyCherub:


Wow thank you for sharing this with me. It really touched my heart. I did everything for him in my power. Gave him my car and I would walk to work, gave him a place to live, rent free, clothed him, cooked. It wasn't enough. I have been very dismissive to people lately and I pray God can restore my heart so I can fully love and trust again. I'm not perfect but God knows I'm a good woman. I will heed your advice and not change who I am out of bitterness and wait on God. Thank you so much

You are welcome dear. I'm glad you read my long epistle.

Be good and goodness will follow you everywhere you go. I am sure you will come across a good man who will match you, value for value.

All the best dear.

funmisticqueen:
thaat storry only happens in 1% not the 99.9%. Dont be fooled. The man must have been rich before he lost his job therefore she kknewnhis character before that job. Men dont show their true character untilnthwy are wealthy

I don't know what your story is and why you are so pessimistic (probably you've been hurt badly in the past), but you should realize that there are men out there who were brought up by mothers who have the kind of character the op has.

What you give out is what you get. You give out bitterness, you receive bitterness, you radiate love, you get back love.

Hunt for love, not a rich man. If you hunt for love, you might get a rich man or a poor man. At least you get a sure thing. Love.

But if you hunt for a rich man, you may not get love and if the man loses his wealth you won't even get the money.


Of course, acquisition of wealth changes a man for good or bad, but it's the risk you have to take.

Note also that loss of wealth also changes a man mostly for worse.

Why base your happiness then on something ephemeral, something unsure such as wealth.

A man's character may be hidden, but it is constant, whether rich or poor. Fall in love with a man's character, not his pocket.

Namaste.

cc: HeavenlyCherub

HeavenlyCherub:


That was not what I was aiming for but I'm just telling you what I faced from him every time. Do you know how hard it is being with someone you constantly have to reassure or tell them they are enough.

It's ok, i understand your plight, don't blame the poor boy, it's not is fault, the society as made us to understand that if a man is dating a woman that is financially successful than him, they will tag him gold digger, gigolo and lazy man, the lady's family will not respect him. Let me give you few scenarios -
A struggling brother who is a graduate from Osu/OOU and with is gf was rubbished when the lady got a job in state hospital and earning around 150k but the brother, an orphan was struggling, singing at weddings and burials at weekends and a butcher of cows at midweek. The mother said and i quote "does it mean in all the hospital, no doctor has ever wooed you? Must you settle down with this low life guy"
The society at large frown at poor guys dating ladies that are okay that is why you see on nairaland the ladies doing the same and brokeshaming poor guys, am/we are sorry

HeavenlyCherub:


Wow thank you for sharing this with me. It really touched my heart. I did everything for him in my power. Gave him my car and I would walk to work, gave him a place to live, rent free, clothed him, cooked. It wasn't enough. I have been very dismissive to people lately and I pray God can restore my heart so I can fully love and trust again. I'm not perfect but God knows I'm a good woman. I will heed your advice and not change who I am out of bitterness and wait on God. Thank you so much

wow...you've been through a lot...Oluwa will def answer your call soon...just keep praying

HeavenlyCherub:


I love God and I am fully aware no relationship is perfect. I never made him a houseboy infact I still carried out my duties as his girlfriend. My ex still wants to work things out and remain friends. If I was as bad as you say I am would he still want to be with me. Money is not everything. Anyway I loved him and I always will. But for my sanity I need to let go. 

Maybe at the time he didnt notice, he keeps on referencing that I dont need him if we break up I have my job, property and family to fall back on but he has no one and needs to support his family. These talks were now a burden on me. He started becoming aggressive, angry and jealous. When I do anything I would always say its ours not mine.

I truly believe a man is the head of a home no way I would want to dominate. I'm not saying I was perfect but I did my best to love him it was never enough. He said I never respected him but I did. Inferiority got the best of him.

Don't get me wrong I'm not a bad looking woman and I had well to do men after me. It's sad because all I wanted was him.

Walking away was a big mistake.

Your success reminded him of his failure and you motivated him a lot. All his complaints and insecurities were a cry for assurance. And in that position, his emotions were too vulnerable.

Black women want a man who can handle his emotions and lead regardless of how they feel in a relationship. In other words you wanted someone confident enough to take that journey with you and hold your hand with his head high.

Instead you got one who acted more like the female in the relationship becos he was intimidated by your success

If you had paid a lot of attention to empowering him to become as great as you (and I don't mean financially), you would have changed him bit by bit.

For example, if you noticed his strengths and skills and invested in those two, directing him towards achieving his full potential...he would have become more confident, loyal and masculine

No man comes tailor-made, not even women. First you get the material, do the sketch, envision the piece in your head and stitch each part of the material gradually, creating each piece slowly.

You instead could not take no more and thrust yourself back out there all to repeat the same steps all over, in the dating scene.

You seem intelligent+responsible and it's been 2yrs since. I hope you find the man of your dreams and learn from your past.

Always have the material and think like the good tailor.

Buena suerte!

HeavenlyCherub:
Hi everyone,

I always feel any time I'm on nairaland I have drama. This platform has helped me as a release over the years. I don't understand why I have been unlucky in love but I hope my posts can help someone. Last time I was here my boyfriend of years got another woman pregnant he still wants to marry me BUT I dont think I can deal with the deception. Lying is one thing but having a whole baby is something else.

So I met someone new. It felt like he was my bestfriend. I put my life on hold for him. I gave up my life for months so that I could help him be a better man. I gave up my home, finances, my car everything to push his vision. I'm a working class woman late 20s and he was a student with a part time job. It didnt bother me he didn't have much because I loved him.

He was kind and loving but I always felt I had to reassure him of his position in my life and to tell him he is enough. This man always made it seem like I didnt respect him because he didn't feel accomplished and wasn't happy of my support of the relationship. He always made me feel bad for being successful.

It's hard for men to accept women when they attain a certain level of success. Men say that they want a woman to be there for them when they are at their lowest, I was that woman but this man broke me emotionally and made me feel small.

I will not date a man with less money than me anymore they are insecure. I just want to advise other women not to over invest your time, emotions and finances in someone who is not your husband.

We women want to over invest because we believe we are showing love. Don't walk away with a broken heart and empty wallet.

-he did not cheat, but his insecurities got the best of the relationship and I decided to walk away even if I loved him.

Hello my friend. I have read through a couple of your responses on other thread and just stumbled on this thread of yours while checking your page.

Am sorry for your experience but you are not going through the healing process with the right mentality. If you fail on a course it doesn’t mean others too will fail. Some men have suffered even same fate as yours including me but will advice men not to help any lady the fall in love with? Hell No. Forgiveness is key my Dear and sadly you lack it. You may have lost a lot monetarily but you didn’t lose your health or your life.

Forgive completely and look forward with an optimistic mindset. You will discover you have true peace and rejuvenation of your total being will commence bringing out a better you waiting for a better chance.

There are red flags you obviously didn’t noticed.

You will be happy again, TRULY HAPPY.

Am not too good at long write ups but I can share voice messages especially on the red flags.

I AM A PROUD SURVIVOR

HeavenlyCherub:


I'm 28 he was 30

I got to this thread through one of your comments on another thread, referencing your story.


My dear, you need to heal, and I believe you are in the healing process, albeit your comment on the other thread shows that you've still not reached your full healing.


I know age will be like a factor and some pressure for you, and there's nothing wrong about that. The first relationship you talked about should not have lasted that long the moment you found out he was into Yahoo, but you still stayed and hoped. That wasn't love or loyalty. The values he held wasn't matching yours. And this other one you will give your car to, then walk to work. Like seriously, which responsible guy let's his babe walk to work while he uses the car, what happened to driving her to work and driving her back. I have not told my babe this, but never will I allow her walk while I drive, which nonsense car, but you still stayed. Those relationships were not meant to work in the first place.

Now, Money fades, everything fades. Within a twinkle on an eye, things can change. Good to bad, bad to Good. The same man you think is in your class or level can be off your class tomorrow.

What you need in a man are values. Values they uphold, they should be things you can deal with, whether they are rich or poor, same class, below class or above your class.


And I think you need to Love yourself. I found out, for you to love rightly, you first need to love yourself, that way it will be easy to love others. There's nothing wrong with you. Continue to work on your self, go out, say hi, smile. I saw one man in my dream, (God revealed it to me) , they are people you know, people around you, people you gave audience, forget all those bobo someone is attached to you.


Loving yourself is not putting up with nonsense, because you love yourself enough. The man of your class or above your class can be in secured, stupid, foolish, abusive.


In all draw nearer to God, he said he will direct your path. And be lovely, and stop frowning. I know you don't.

Be good

HeavenlyCherub:


Wow thank you for sharing this with me. It really touched my heart. I did everything for him in my power. Gave him my car and I would walk to work, gave him a place to live, rent free, clothed him, cooked. It wasn't enough. I have been very dismissive to people lately and I pray God can restore my heart so I can fully love and trust again. I'm not perfect but God knows I'm a good woman. I will heed your advice and not change who I am out of bitterness and wait on God. Thank you so much

It is well with you, stay strong, be prayerful and keep an open mind and heart. God will definitely sort you out at the right time.

We all go through pains in different shapes and sizes but one thing remains very sure- "This too shall pass".

DAutoDiagnosis:



I got to this thread through one of your comments on another thread, referencing your story.


My dear, you need to heal, and I believe you are in the healing process, albeit your comment on the other thread shows that you've still not reached your full healing.


I know age will be like a factor and some pressure for you, and there's nothing wrong about that. The first relationship you talked about should not have lasted that long the moment you found out he was into Yahoo, but you still stayed and hoped. That wasn't love or loyalty. The values he held wasn't matching yours. And this other one you will give your car to, then walk to work. Like seriously, which responsible guy let's his babe walk to work while he uses the car, what happened to driving her to work and driving her back. I have not told my babe this, but never will I allow her walk while I drive, which nonsense car, but you still stayed. Those relationships were not meant to work in the first place.

Now, Money fades, everything fades. Within a twinkle on an eye, things can change. Good to bad, bad to Good. The same man you think is in your class or level can be off your class tomorrow.

What you need in a man are values. Values they uphold, they should be things you can deal with, whether they are rich or poor, same class, below class or above your class.


And I think you need to Love yourself. I found out, for you to love rightly, you first need to love yourself, that way it will be easy to love others. There's nothing wrong with you. Continue to work on your self, go out, say hi, smile. I saw one man in my dream, (God revealed it to me) , they are people you know, people around you, people you gave audience, forget all those bobo someone is attached to you.


Loving yourself is not putting up with nonsense, because you love yourself enough. The man of your class or above your class can be in secured, stupid, foolish, abusive.


In all draw nearer to God, he said he will direct your path. And be lovely, and stop frowning. I know you don't.

Be good

This person said a lot that you need dear. Firstly, you have to love yourself (nobody can give you joy and happiness better than yourself), secondly, you need to start learning how to identify real men, men with dignity n values.... No reasonable man will accept all those you mentioned that you did for him.... How will a reasonable guy allows you to relinquish your car for him ( where real men bought single car with their money n drop it for their women).... We can be supported but not virtually in all things. You can easily identify real men through their values n believe system. N lastly, you can not use one man to judge all men . (Can you reach me on +2347068292560 through whatsapp, I am not in Nigeria, I just want to be a distance friend)

Have toke my time to read some of your responses on other trends and your but one thing I notice is this ''unforgiven mind '' and you are a type that complains alot(from my point of view). In life when you hold on to one thing and you keep on nursing it, it will be difficult for you to see better things around you, all because you place your focus on one thing ( what i mean is that; you have focus your mind set that poor guys are bad guys, and your pain and hatred for them didn't allow you to see that there are best option for you). Someone is somewhere watch and willing to have someone like you, someone that know your value, your worth but your unforgiven attitude and hatred will not allow good and serious men to come around. Why not work on yourself, forgive and forget and dont put unnecessary pressure on yourself, put up a smiling face, trust in God, be good and move on, I know for sure that that man will surely show up. Please check my signature for my contact you can just hi me I will like to further discuss with you. Stay happy

HeavenlyCherub:
Hi everyone,

I always feel any time I'm on nairaland I have drama. This platform has helped me as a release over the years. I don't understand why I have been unlucky in love but I hope my posts can help someone. Last time I was here my boyfriend of years got another woman pregnant he still wants to marry me BUT I dont think I can deal with the deception. Lying is one thing but having a whole baby is something else.

So I met someone new. It felt like he was my bestfriend. I put my life on hold for him. I gave up my life for months so that I could help him be a better man. I gave up my home, finances, my car everything to push his vision. I'm a working class woman late 20s and he was a student with a part time job. It didnt bother me he didn't have much because I loved him.

He was kind and loving but I always felt I had to reassure him of his position in my life and to tell him he is enough. This man always made it seem like I didnt respect him because he didn't feel accomplished and wasn't happy of my support of the relationship. He always made me feel bad for being successful.

It's hard for men to accept women when they attain a certain level of success. Men say that they want a woman to be there for them when they are at their lowest, I was that woman but this man broke me emotionally and made me feel small.

I will not date a man with less money than me anymore they are insecure. I just want to advise other women not to over invest your time, emotions and finances in someone who is not your husband.

We women want to over invest because we believe we are showing love. Don't walk away with a broken heart and empty wallet.

-he did not cheat, but his insecurities got the best of the relationship and I decided to walk away even if I loved him.

Have toke my time to read some of your responses on other trends and your but one thing I notice is this ''unforgiven mind '' and you are a type that complains alot(from my point of view). In life when you hold on to one thing and you keep on nursing it, it will be difficult for you to see better things around you, all because you place your focus on one thing ( what i mean is that; you have focus your mind set that poor guys are bad guys, and your pain and hatred for them didn't allow you to see that there are best option for you). Someone is somewhere watch and willing to have someone like you, someone that know your value, your worth but your unforgiven attitude and hatred will not allow good and serious men to come around. Why not work on yourself, forgive and forget and dont put unnecessary pressure on yourself, put up a smiling face, trust in God, be good and move on, I know for sure that that man will surely show up. Please check my signature for my contact you can just hi me I will like to further discuss with you. Stay happy