It's 4:19am and somehow I'm not in bed. I'm on the road, walking around my neighborhood. It's dark, NEPA no gree bring light. I'm the lone shadow on an empty street.

The road is illuminated in patches by the security lights from houses built along the road, those whose owners were somehow able to find petrol to feed their generators.

So why am I up early? I know you're curious. Heeheehee.. I'm meeting Jesus this morning. See, I know I'm going to hell and all, but there's been something great happening in my city. It's those people they call Christians, the Pentecostal ones... the ones that believe they are special. Yeah, special. Very special.

They've got this program running. It's called 5 Nights of Glory. At first, I thought it was a porn shoot or something, and found myself admiring the guy on the poster, when my eye fell on his title. Man of God. My God, my erection dropped. I felt so guilty. And disappointed. More disappointment than guilt.

But it's been, well, fun for the NightOfGloryers. They've been combing every stretch and breadth of the city, doing God's work the old way in 2018. These are committed folks; for their Papa, they'd evangelize to the ends of the earth, telling them about this great Prophet, sent to save them from their sins and suffering. The way they go about it, you'd think they are mad, but it's just the Holy Spirit. Faith is a powerful thing.. more productive than mere madness.

And so, about madness, going by news on social media, this program has been a blessing to the mad and insane. The Committee of Port-Harcourt mad men have reported a drastic drop in their daily street contributions. I sympathize with them - all the mad men are on the streets, some are being healed by men who speak in strange syllables.

My best friend, a fellow mad man, was among one of those healed. My friend and tight guy, na wa. How only me go come dey mad for this town... even mad men need friends.

So I'm up this AM, to meet Jesus, and have a discussion with, one that will be longer than the nails they stuck in his hand.

Jesus was waiting for me at Birabi Street, close to the source of my problem. He had on blue jeans, a T-shirt on which was written "3 nails, 1 cross, 4 you", and a tight jean. As soon as he saw me approaching, he waved and walked forward in my direction.

"Hi bro, how have you been?"

"Not been fine, bro. this your people..."

"which people?"

"The building behind you, that church"

"What church? God doesn't dwell in buildings. I told my disciples the kingdom of God resides within them. In their heart. Whose pictures do you see around this place? God or man?"

I looked around. From billboard to poster, to billboard to poster, the smart man I had seen on the 5nog poster smiled at me. God was only in the written text. There wasn't even a cross or a cameo from Jesus.
As this realization sunk in, I noticed a disappointed look on Jesus' face.

"So You no come Night of Glory?"

"Hahaha. That sounds like a long sex orgy."

"Hehehe. I thought so too. Guy man, I know say you be bad guy. Baba J. So why are you here?"

"I needed to see you, more than you need to see me. We have a lot to discuss. You go smoke loud or arizona?"

"Hey, my guy", and from the holes in his shorts, he pulled out a pack of rizzlers, and rolled me one of the best damn joints I'd ever seen in my life. When he was done rolling, he placed the joint in my hand, rolled another for himself, lit it and puffed some smoke castles in the air. I was stunned. Son of the most high getting high. With me. Am I mad? oh yes, I am.

Puff, puff....

This guy

LMAO

So 5 nights of glory sounds like a porn shoot or sex orgy?
This is wicked lol just wicked .

Getting high with the most high

Son of the devil, your sarcasm and delivery, in general, makes me think a lot about Dayo's rants (of info). I love it. Nice write up.

Very interesting concept.

MissWrite:


Son of the devil, your sarcasm and delivery, in general, makes me think a lot about Dayo's rants (of info). I love it. Nice write up.

Thanks for the compliments, although I have no clue who Dayo is. Is Info short for naija info? I don't listen to radio often.

hopefulLandlord:
This guy

brodarly..

sonofluc1fer:

Thanks for the compliments, although I have no clue who Dayo is. Is Info short for naija info? I don't listen to radio often.

Yes, it is short for Nigeria Info. Dayo Elusakin presents Hard Facts, and he's very intellectually provocative. I hope you're doing something serious with your talents as well. You're good.

MissWrite:



Yes, it is short for Nigeria Info. Dayo Elusakin presents Hard Facts, and he's very intellectually provocative. I hope you're doing something serious with your talents as well. You're good.

does he apply these "hard facts" to religious issues as well or just avoids it altogether?

hopefulLandlord:


does he apply these "hard facts" to religious issues as well or just avoids it altogether?

, isn't religion one of our biggest problems? Anyone who evades that is not really serious about addressing our issues. It's not called HARD facts for nothing.

MissWrite:



, isn't religion one of our biggest problems? Anyone who evades that is not really serious about addressing our issues. It's not called HARD facts for nothing.

That's interesting to know, what time does the program air and you've got their website or sump'n for online streaming?

MissWrite:

Yes, it is short for Nigeria Info. Dayo Elusakin presents Hard Facts, and he's very intellectually provocative

Cool. Ill check out for him on the station.

MissWrite:

. I hope you're doing something serious with your talents as well. You're good.

Wish I knew where to begin.

hopefulLandlord:


That's interesting to know, what time does the program air and you've got their website or sump'n for online streaming?

It's on by 3pm......I like to be in traffic by that time, whenever it's possible, just for that. Sorry, You can google info 92.3 for more information.

sonofluc1fer:


Wish I knew where to begin.

oh no! I have to think of something.

MissWrite:




It's on by 3pm......I like to be in traffic by that time, whenever it's possible, just for that. Sorry, You can google info 92.3 for more information.

every weekday and weekends or weekdays alone?

hopefulLandlord:


every weekday and weekends or weekdays alone?

I think it is on only on weekdays.

-hole

MissWrite:



oh no! I have to think of something.

That'd be cool.

MissWrite:



oh no! I have to think of something.

In my "Method Man" voice(aka Johnny Blaze):.............................................."Excuse me as I kiss the sky"!!!

Niflheim:
In my "Method Man" voice(aka Johnny Blaze):.............................................."Excuse me as I kiss the sky"!!!

how high can you go?

lalasticlala, happy valentine o. i love you.

That time of the year again...

HappyPagan:
That time of the year again...

Stickers already are everywhere in the city.
E be like say I go attend this one. Let's see what the ruckus is about.

Ranchhoddas:
Stickers already are everywhere in the city.
E be like say I go attend this one. Let's see what the ruckus is about.

you fit reach my side from there... i stay close.... make i send you pm...

Let me share a true story with you about the leader of that church. He started that church with a pastor i knew well sometime in 99/00. They were both products of David Oyedepo bible school and he ordained both of them. One day the pastor i knew said to me back then "if there's something that pastors have an problem with, it is money..." And he was sad when was saying because before they started that church, they had an agreement with respect to money. But when it was time for the so called man of God to meet the terms, he refused. And yet he's there posing as a man of God. So these concerns are not just imaginary but very real.

jesusjnr:
Let me share a true story with you about the leader of that church. He started that church with a pastor i knew well sometime in 99/00. They were both products of David Oyedepo bible school and he ordained both of them. One day the pastor i knew said to me back then "if there's something that pastors have an problem with, it is money..." And he was sad when was saying because before they started that church, they had an agreement with respect to money. But when it was time for the so called man of God to meet the terms, he refused. And yet he's there posing as a man of God. So these concerns are not just imaginary but very real.

Scam beget scam. No surprises here.

HappyPagan:




Scam beget scam. No surprises here.

$mh, you misunderstand partner....


You might be shocked when you find out how convinced some people really are on their chosen paths.