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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Husbands Lack Of Sex And Intimacy In Our Marriage (12563 Views)
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Re: Husbands Lack Of Sex And Intimacy In Our Marriage by Twoclans(f): 8:31pm On Jan 22, 2019 |
Nene05: 9 years is a huge gap between you guys ,I will suggest you sit down and have a heart to heart discussion with him. Sex is the most important ingredient in marriage even before money .I wish you luck and maybe you can have a weekend getaway ,it must not be expensive. 4 Likes |
Re: Husbands Lack Of Sex And Intimacy In Our Marriage by Nobody: 8:35pm On Jan 22, 2019 |
Nene05:hm i dont know wat to say oo |
Re: Husbands Lack Of Sex And Intimacy In Our Marriage by jesmond3945: 8:37pm On Jan 22, 2019 |
Op the truth is he married you for permanent stay in Uk and he has a girl in Nigeria that he js showing affection to. I am surprised you didn't see all along. The foundation of your marriage is already faulty there is nothing any councilor will do about it. Infact it is just a matter of time your man would ball out once he gets his citizenship. I am sorry for your dilenma. It is a pity. |
Re: Husbands Lack Of Sex And Intimacy In Our Marriage by baralatie(m): 8:58pm On Jan 22, 2019 |
Nene05:hhmmmm!!! how is a wife working make her a man? 1 Like |
Re: Husbands Lack Of Sex And Intimacy In Our Marriage by Nene05: 9:04pm On Jan 22, 2019 |
2buffagain: My hygiene is 100 I have other men who want to bed me but trying to work my marriage out. I think he's not happy I left my job -just thought he would come here get his permanent residency and that's it. However always told him I'm traditional believe that man should provide and I cater to him. When I was working he didn't help with any housework and said I was controlling. Now I'm submissive and calm he likes that but not providing sex |
Re: Husbands Lack Of Sex And Intimacy In Our Marriage by Nene05: 9:08pm On Jan 22, 2019 |
jesmond3945: He's got more than a decade to wait. I sponsored to get him here now can no longer sponsor him. He doesn't leave the country without me. I have made the situation to benefit me. He's not in a position to support anyone else I deliberately don't make an income for this very reason. I'm not unintelligent. 5 Likes |
Re: Husbands Lack Of Sex And Intimacy In Our Marriage by 2buffagain(m): 9:13pm On Jan 22, 2019 |
Ginomel: Yes you fool... |
Re: Husbands Lack Of Sex And Intimacy In Our Marriage by jesmond3945: 9:16pm On Jan 22, 2019 |
Nene05:He is a nigerian and very smart too, he only needs 5 years to get permanent residency and then he would plan his next move. I hope you know brexit would also bring other possibilities for him to exploit. If you love someone deeply you would not even be begged to be intimate. Take it to the bank once he gets his ilr boom he would disappear. |
Re: Husbands Lack Of Sex And Intimacy In Our Marriage by Nene05: 9:24pm On Jan 22, 2019 |
2buffagain: It's a temporary visa that if nothing changes will not be renewed. Will be going back to Nigeria |
Re: Husbands Lack Of Sex And Intimacy In Our Marriage by Nene05: 9:26pm On Jan 22, 2019 |
jesmond3945: He was wishing 5 years -this what he hoped but I left my job so now need to renew next time under different category. It's only spouse visa that's the least 5 years all others longer with no guarantee only way he can get 5 years if I go back to my job. Which I'm not!!! I'm staying home and want to raise a family. He didn't appreciate me when I was working even if he met someone else he needs to leave the country and apply same process again. |
Re: Husbands Lack Of Sex And Intimacy In Our Marriage by mhiznikky(f): 9:27pm On Jan 22, 2019 |
k 1 Like |
Re: Husbands Lack Of Sex And Intimacy In Our Marriage by Nene05: 9:31pm On Jan 22, 2019 |
mhiznikky: Sorry to hear |
Re: Husbands Lack Of Sex And Intimacy In Our Marriage by baralatie(m): 9:34pm On Jan 22, 2019 |
so basically the lack of sex in this relationship is not as a result "tiredness" or as a result of "husband should be the head of the house theory" but as a result of visa. talking about a relationship with a bad foundation |
Re: Husbands Lack Of Sex And Intimacy In Our Marriage by Nene05: 9:46pm On Jan 22, 2019 |
jesmond3945: All I have to do is leave the house and notify them we not living together. Terms that you live with your spouse or you in breech of your visa. So boom a giant hole when he applies for Flr and gets declined as visa rules breached. 1 Like |
Re: Husbands Lack Of Sex And Intimacy In Our Marriage by Nene05: 9:53pm On Jan 22, 2019 |
baralatie: Because I can't work 40 hours a week come home do all the cooking and house work and STILL be kind and respectful. also have an excuse that I can no longer sponsor him So if he leaves me , he leaves the county. If you in charge and the head u pay all the bills simple or no respect Someone needs to do the laundry grocery shopping ironing preparing his lunch for work dinner sewing and any other help he needs from me on a daily basis. 1 Like |
Re: Husbands Lack Of Sex And Intimacy In Our Marriage by Ginomel(m): 10:24pm On Jan 22, 2019 |
2buffagain: You are even more idiotic than I thought. Because you are used to meeting dirty women with filthy privates you thought every woman is like them. Don't bother to quote me again because you are already placed on ignore mode.Skunk. |
Re: Husbands Lack Of Sex And Intimacy In Our Marriage by PharoahIII: 10:47pm On Jan 22, 2019 |
[color=#006600][/color] Nene05: I suspect you're the type that uses visa as a weapon, a tool to subjugate and dominate a man. He doesn't love you and I see reasons with him. You call yourself intelligent because you've been able to use his dependency on you for a visa to your advantage? You are the biggest fool in the world, you can eat your passport. I can tell you're the type that will even call the home office if he does something wrong. If he was Black British or perhaps wasn't dependent on you for a visa will you have the temerity to misbehave? My advice to all men: Never ever trust a woman, a man that uses a woman as his head-pad to carry his load should know he's carrying his load on his bare head. To the wannabe jandos, this is what awaits you when you go abroad. Better remain in Nigeria jeje o before one idiot will trample not only on your rights but your manhood all in the name of visa. No be beans 5 Likes |
Re: Husbands Lack Of Sex And Intimacy In Our Marriage by faithfull18(f): 11:13pm On Jan 22, 2019 |
PharoahIII: Oh, so you would have preferred he was the one using her right. Thank God she was smart enough to know and block all loopholes. Why marry her for papers and still make her life miserable 6 Likes |
Re: Husbands Lack Of Sex And Intimacy In Our Marriage by Nene05: 11:26pm On Jan 22, 2019 |
PharoahIII: If he is using me at least we both benefit from the situation. I'm not supporting any man to help'bulid' up for him to then leave me not a chance. All I want is a family and settle down- if he wants visa he will have if he earns it. He knew my standard from when we met. 2 Likes |
Re: Husbands Lack Of Sex And Intimacy In Our Marriage by Nobody: 11:27pm On Jan 22, 2019 |
Nene05: Its only in Nigeria ladies enjoy there husband Sexually ,once they step down in a foreign land. Na money be the koko. Sex becomes the last thing on there mind. Just ask your self, if ur hussyy doesn't pay bills as at when due, would u be happy? Or wont u keep nagging? .that by the way, let me give u a clue. Just tell ur husband to travel with you to Nigeria on ur own expense, And check if you won't get tired of sex within a week. Why is it so, Its all about the environment we found ourselves. In a foreign land , A typical niaja guy who escape these jungle has something at there forehead. What's that MONEY ,MORE MONEY, U gonna hear guys saying " nigga, I need to make money , Ain't here for bullshit (Sex) , So, Solution Don't be a lazy type , Endeavour to also work and assist him thereby reducing his working hours on a daily basis. If he can reduce his working hours within 2 weeks and still able to pay his bills with ur assistance. You will enjoy his sexualization prowess and u will see a huge changes in him. N.B -You can't expect me to do like 3 different jobs on a daily basis and u expect me to be a sex maniac. Nibo. Kojo rara, Gboju nbe. 3 Likes |
Re: Husbands Lack Of Sex And Intimacy In Our Marriage by Nobody: 11:32pm On Jan 22, 2019 |
mhiznikky: Here in Nigeria or Europe |
Re: Husbands Lack Of Sex And Intimacy In Our Marriage by Nobody: 11:36pm On Jan 22, 2019 |
Nene05: I would have loved to see a pics of u . These will enable me to judge the situation well. And by the way , are u British born, Africa/Nigeria lineage, or British lineage . |
Re: Husbands Lack Of Sex And Intimacy In Our Marriage by Nene05: 11:36pm On Jan 22, 2019 |
PharoahIII: How is this misbehaving- If I didn't care would not come on here to try sort out my marriage. I'm supportive wife 24/7 even if he's hungry middle of the night I will get up without grumble and cook him something. |
Re: Husbands Lack Of Sex And Intimacy In Our Marriage by Nobody: 11:37pm On Jan 22, 2019 |
Twoclans: U say 9 years is a huge gap between husband and wife. Lol. 1 Like |
Re: Husbands Lack Of Sex And Intimacy In Our Marriage by Nobody: 11:40pm On Jan 22, 2019 |
Nene05: You can try and put just 1 tablet of Sexual prowess drug in his drink and see if its gonna work on him or not. 1 Like |
Re: Husbands Lack Of Sex And Intimacy In Our Marriage by Nene05: 11:45pm On Jan 22, 2019 |
slimany:British |
Re: Husbands Lack Of Sex And Intimacy In Our Marriage by Nene05: 11:53pm On Jan 22, 2019 |
slimany: We tried this before me working outside the house. Says I wasn't submissive also refused to help with any house work. Why should I worked AND do another job in the house. Read ur bible titus 2:5 To be obedient patient calm home makers and submissive to your husband. I'm not materialistic so other than the house and food I don't buy new clothes etc. .. Just look after what I have. Other than the lack of sex we get on once we start getting intimate again I'm fully happy in my relationship sometimes I work from home when I can our bills not expensive. Also as fresh clothes are always ironed washed food on the table etc. .. This saves him ALOT of time |
Re: Husbands Lack Of Sex And Intimacy In Our Marriage by baralatie(m): 12:10am On Jan 23, 2019 |
faithfull18:as in ehn! I tire for the dude write up. 1 Like |
Re: Husbands Lack Of Sex And Intimacy In Our Marriage by baralatie(m): 12:11am On Jan 23, 2019 |
slimany:irrelevant |
Re: Husbands Lack Of Sex And Intimacy In Our Marriage by Robynwelo1(f): 12:17am On Jan 23, 2019 |
I'm really glad you are British. You don't suffer stigmatization much over there on marriage issues. I can conclude your Nigerian husband doesn't love you if he can't give to you what you crave most from him for this long. There are no excuses! You have to send him a threat and be serious about it, that If he doesn't want to have sex with you, you could get it a million places outside. If he believes this, he may want to save his marriage. |
Re: Husbands Lack Of Sex And Intimacy In Our Marriage by 2buffagain(m): 1:00am On Jan 23, 2019 |
Nene05: The both of you aren't communicating. If it's intentional, then the other person is just looking for a way out. You've said before that he is paying for things alone and you don't want to work... So you might just be the one not listening. 1 Like |
Re: Husbands Lack Of Sex And Intimacy In Our Marriage by Nene05: 1:40am On Jan 23, 2019 |
2buffagain: If he showed me affection then we would be fine. Maybe I will give him a deadline and let him know if nothing changes by xyz then just so you know I will be getting to know other men. And rather than him finding out will let him know before hand. |
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