MJBOLT:

ladies are avoiding this thread

Like plague

lilmax:
mentality is something that is almost impossible to change

that's why when you meet a girl, you search for her mentality first to know how she thinks

most of them fail woefully in that aspect

MJBOLT:

lefulefu,DanDeeBoss

Lol.. "We can't settle for less" crew dem. Always looking for "maga"....

Omoge87:
Dear OP.

I don’t really understand this philosophy myself. I am a Nigerian lady. I currently work, I bought and drive my own car. Have almost completed my MSc which I paid for myself. My point being as a Nigerian lady I have never cared about what material thing a guy has. What girls think a guy can provide for them- they can actually provide for themselves if they work hard.

I have only been in two relationships in my life - but in those relationships I never cared about anything material. When they had a need I would help. When I had need they would offer to help and I would politely decline - if it was monetary - simply cos I don’t want any guy to be saying he did xyz for me. Also I noticed Nigerian men associate helping their girlfriends with sex - so far as they are gifting you and giving you money they expect sex in return and as I am not a prostitute - I decline such things. I would rather ask my parents if I have any monetary needs. I don’t believe boyfriend should become your driver or your bank when courtship and vice versa. When you are husband and wife - then yes I can accept financial assistance from my husband - but not boyfriend. Why should a boyfriend be paying my fees or rent? I just don’t understand it at all. A girl should learn to be self - sufficient - when she has her own she won’t care if a guy has BMW or plenty money. She will rather want someone who is compatible with her vision and life long goals.

Bottom line my philosophy is if a girl works hard she won’t have to rely on a man for anything- she will not care if he has a car or money as her first port of call. She will be interested in - does he have a Job, is he a Christian, family background etc... because she wants someone likeminded and compatible with her also.

I think it is laziness that makes some girls want to live off a man. I just don’t understand it at all. My brain cannot comphrend the thought. There is nothing like having your own independence as a woman. I am not a feminist oooo. I just believe in hard work so you don’t have to rely on anyone or beg anyone for anything in this life.

Your type is rare... Op isn't referring to your type....

ImaIma1:


Those ladies are air heads and are just interested in their own interests and are not willing to start and grow with a guy. They are looking for finished products.

And a lot of them get into trouble that way. There is nothing wrong with marrying a rich guy but it should not be the main motivation and she should also bring something tangible to the table.

So True.

ImaIma1:


Those ladies are air heads and are just interested in their own interests and are not willing to start and grow with a guy. They are looking for finished products.

And a lot of them get into trouble that way. There is nothing wrong with marrying a rich guy but it should not be the main motivation and she should also bring something tangible to the table.

Here to read comments..

abdeiz:
Our psyche is moulded by the immediate surrounding socio-economic factors.

Who wants to suffer any more? For guys it's a lady who would give them peace of mind and won't cheat, the issue of spending on her is variable because some don't mind spending. And for ladies is a man she can show off with and who is willing to spend on her.

That's just the Nigerian situation. Lemme not venture into how we came to this point but it's what it currently. Deal with it.

ifex370:



Dude that's not not true..

Did you see the part were she said her friend in the US thinks the same?...

Its not a Nigerian problem.. Women all over the world are changing because social media gave everyone the chance to see new things and so, no one would like to settle for any less

DanDeeBoss:
Op, Lol.... No wonder they keep falling into traps, if you wanna easily get a Nigerian lady ,just get a car and flash money, and Dazol..... Na una do unaselves... Some ladies don't hustle anything ,by their comments you shall know them ,all they know is "have you sent it"??

ubunja:
how very true. Social Media wrecked women. Now they are holding out for that better guy who never comes. Too many choices is as bad as having no choices. It is until women hit the mid-30s and their looks start fading together with their power in social media that they wake up from this trance. By then they are useless as a wife. They have addicted themselves to male attention in the form of Likes and having enjoyed the worship of hundreds of men they can't really be satisfied with the worship of 1 man. They have been psychologically crippled.

Omoge87:
Dear OP.

I don’t really understand this philosophy myself. I am a Nigerian lady. I currently work, I bought and drive my own car. Have almost completed my MSc which I paid for myself. My point being as a Nigerian lady I have never cared about what material thing a guy has. What girls think a guy can provide for them- they can actually provide for themselves if they work hard.

I have only been in two relationships in my life - but in those relationships I never cared about anything material. I cared about their long term vision and goals etc... I remember my first ex didn’t drive. I am the one that would drop him home after church etc.. When they had a need I would help. When I had need they would offer to help and I would politely decline - if it was monetary - simply cos I don’t want any guy to be saying he did xyz for me. Also I noticed Nigerian men associate helping their girlfriends with sex - so far as they are gifting you and giving you money they expect sex in return and as I am not a prostitute - I decline such things. I would rather ask my parents if I had any monetary needs. I don’t believe boyfriend should become your driver or your bank when courtship and vice versa. When you are husband and wife - then yes I can accept financial assistance from my husband - but not boyfriend. Why should a boyfriend be paying my fees or rent? I just don’t understand it at all. A girl should learn to be self - sufficient - when she has her own she won’t care if a guy has BMW or plenty money. She will rather want someone who is compatible with her vision and life long goals.

Bottom line my philosophy is if a girl works hard she won’t have to rely on a man for anything- she will not care if he has a car or money as her first port of call. She will be interested in - does he have a Job, is he a Christian, family background etc... because she wants someone likeminded and compatible with her also.

I think it is laziness that makes some girls want to live off a man. I just don’t understand it at all. My brain cannot comphrend the thought. There is nothing like having your own independence as a woman. I am not a feminist oooo. I just believe in hard work so you don’t have to rely on anyone or beg anyone for anything in this life.

On this same forum there was a post that asked would you rather a rich husband that cheats but provides or a poor husband that is faithful but can’t provide. I just shook my head. Why can’t one just have a hardworking husband and a hard working wife who are both faithful and provide for each other’s needs ?

pacifik:
Most of the time I don't blame our ladies... Potentials don't pay Bills in this country, some men stay grounded in their potential level until the end of time.

You talk about a nice background, Religion and personality, my dear such qualities are quite rare in this country now... "everybody na street"... Even the guys from the nice background, that pray from dawn to dusk and have saintly impeccable personalities have ditched all that shit in search of ways to survive... In this country now the only way to survive is to "tear eye" and explore options without moralistic sentiments.

I've always said this, if you're a young man and you've not set a solid financial foundation for yourself in this country then don't think of engaging in a relationship or marriage, your main focus should be on getting the money first, leave woman matters for those that can maintain them. My people has an adage.... "The beauty of a Man is in the Weight of his Wallet"...

Seriously, I don't blame any lady (especially those from poor backgrounds) who realistically assert that "No Money, No Honey"... This should be a challenge to our young men to get out from their Potential energy field and become Kinetic men that take charge of their world at all cost, Men that can Rule their World...

ifex370:



So how can a guy get off the potential field.. Are you in anyway encouraging guys to go beyond legal means in obtaining so called riches just to satisfy the insatiable woman...

Bro don't get yourself in trouble.. Do the least you can and forget the rest.. Keep praying

SyberKate:
Guys you can sit this one out