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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Impending Child Custody Battle: Baby Mama Preventing Access To My Daughter (21705 Views)
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Re: Impending Child Custody Battle: Baby Mama Preventing Access To My Daughter by grandstar(m): 4:14pm On Jan 27, 2019 |
Bonjelomo: I'm a firm supporter of Justice and for some reason, this isn't Justice but conquest. He should sit down and talk to the woman and see if a marriage can work. He should suggest it to her and see her reaction. If she seems kin on it, that's some progress. He should even go ahead and pay the bride price. However, all parties must work on resolving all hurt feelings. The man must open up about how her parents have hurt his feelings and they too must open up and see closure. All must be ready to truly forgive and move on. If there's a dramatic change in the lady's behavior and she becomes loving, respectful and submissive, then he should go ahead and formalise the marriage by registering it in court. Bride price isn't marriage under constitution(Read Titus 3:1) What is best for all 3 parties (the child most importantly) is marriage. I'm sure they'll all be happy, most important the founder Jehovah to whom every family in heaven and on Earth owes it's name! 5 Likes |
Re: Impending Child Custody Battle: Baby Mama Preventing Access To My Daughter by JoannaSedley(f): 4:15pm On Jan 27, 2019 |
iloputaife:Better stick to your script. Did you ask her about any medical condition she may have before knocking her up ![]() 14 Likes |
Re: Impending Child Custody Battle: Baby Mama Preventing Access To My Daughter by Nobody: 4:21pm On Jan 27, 2019 |
Kidaholic: from what he wrote here, you can just tell he has ego problem. you want her to start school in September and her mother want her to start in April because of that, he chooses not to be involved in the the school process. once you get a baby mama, you should be ready to share decision making with her as she is not your wife that you can decide for and expect her to submit. the both have same right to the baby . he should have tried to reach a compromise with the lady to determine the best way to raise their kid . at the young age of a child life, the mother is most important and even if he pursue a legal case, the mother is likely to get custody unless he can prove that the child is not well taken care of and all he will get is some supervise access to a child who may not even be happy to be with his father as the mother may have poisoned her mind. the fact that he did not keep in contact with the child for a long period of time will help the mothers case. all I will advise Mr poster is to try and make peace with his baby mama. you are a man so don't sit and let what is yours slip away, try and meet your baby mama parents for a talk and see the way forward . maybe you guys can work out a solution by talking as talking actually solve most cases. try and reach a compromise, apologize where necessary. you should only consider going to court when all peace option fail as custody case in Nigeria are always biased against men. all you will get from the Nigerian court is a legal right to the child while the mother get the emotional right and every other things till the child becomes an adult and she finally abandon you as the mother may have poisoned her mind. 3 Likes |
Re: Impending Child Custody Battle: Baby Mama Preventing Access To My Daughter by realtalk19: 4:22pm On Jan 27, 2019 |
TEYA: seeing his child will surely be when the child is 18yrs. especially when he's irresponsible. u are the one who is deceived because u avnt been Tru such circumstance.u ar just giving a blind opinion 2 Likes |
Re: Impending Child Custody Battle: Baby Mama Preventing Access To My Daughter by realtalk19: 4:24pm On Jan 27, 2019 |
TEYA: seeing his child will surely be when the child is 18yrs. especially when he's irresponsible. u are the one who is deceived because u avnt been Tru such circumstance.u ar just giving a blind opinion |
Re: Impending Child Custody Battle: Baby Mama Preventing Access To My Daughter by SUPERPACK: 4:31pm On Jan 27, 2019 |
1two3:i blame your dad for not using condom the day they made a fool like you. |
Re: Impending Child Custody Battle: Baby Mama Preventing Access To My Daughter by Bonjelomo: 4:32pm On Jan 27, 2019 |
realtalk19: SUPERPACK: realtalk19: If the father of the child refuses to show up, then apply to the family court, via the office of Child's right. Child's right whether denial of responsibilities or access denial is a serious LEGAL mater in Nigeria. Don't confuse the OP. He has full access to his daughter ANYTIME ANYDAY, even b4 d child is 18. He she just be ready to take responsibilities as a father |
Re: Impending Child Custody Battle: Baby Mama Preventing Access To My Daughter by Bonjelomo: 4:43pm On Jan 27, 2019 |
realtalk19: Don't twist it! The father of the child has equal rights to the latter, just as d mother does. This will foster the proper development of the child. The child's rights office will ensure this! |
Re: Impending Child Custody Battle: Baby Mama Preventing Access To My Daughter by Bonjelomo: 4:46pm On Jan 27, 2019 |
grandstar: Baba u can't be more catholic than the Pope. Not every relationship ends in marriage. And the child deserves good access to both parents! 1 Like |
Re: Impending Child Custody Battle: Baby Mama Preventing Access To My Daughter by yawehoverall: 4:47pm On Jan 27, 2019 |
NevetsIbot: You would have honestly made your points like she did, without insulting her, in as much as NL is a faceless forum doesn't give us the impetus to haul insults at the first chance we get... Thanks 8 Likes |
Re: Impending Child Custody Battle: Baby Mama Preventing Access To My Daughter by Mizintegral: 4:50pm On Jan 27, 2019 |
keepingmum: |
Re: Impending Child Custody Battle: Baby Mama Preventing Access To My Daughter by realtalk19: 4:54pm On Jan 27, 2019 |
Bonjelomo: do u mean an irresponsible and violent father? what proper development ar u talking about? when a child is likely to be psychologically damaged when witnessing violent scenes. welfare office in ikorodu is ineffective and I say this because I was dissapointed with their actions.except u av money or connection. plz stick to what u know not what u Havnt been tru |
Re: Impending Child Custody Battle: Baby Mama Preventing Access To My Daughter by Mizintegral: 4:58pm On Jan 27, 2019 |
[quote author=Mizintegral post=75168145][/quote] I wonder oooo what this guy narrated here made me recall what the father of my niece and nephew did to them even before my sis died the guy was not responsible for tangible expenses right from the day my sis gave birth my father was the one that paid the hospital bill with his salary because the delivery was serious they were twins the first one came out 12 midnight the second came out 12:30am with serious labour the father didn't pay. up till now I can calculate how much he had spent. And this April they will be 15 years. Am just waiting for the day he will come and said he wants to claim them. Am more so those children had demanded that their surname should be change forcefully which we had to do for them to be happy. so some guys are just not responsible and cone online and be wanting pity 3 Likes |
Re: Impending Child Custody Battle: Baby Mama Preventing Access To My Daughter by randy01(m): 5:02pm On Jan 27, 2019 |
My bro i want you to know something. that baby will look for you when she grow up no matter what her mom told her.except if the baby is not yours.Am talking from experience.even if you go to court now you can't win because the girl is minor but you can win visitation and for you to be going to where you are not wanted is very dangerous as they may set you up.this is how we deal with our own in our family as we have try all our best but no avail.so we secure the baby future by fixing account for the baby.long story I don't have time now.just wait for that baby to grow little so can recognize you as she knew nothing now 2 Likes |
Re: Impending Child Custody Battle: Baby Mama Preventing Access To My Daughter by tunjilana: 5:03pm On Jan 27, 2019 |
Oga...U have every right as much as she has...but cos of the age of the child, no court will grant u custody except u can prove the mother is unfit(insanity, prostitution e.t.c.) ...... Marriage or bride price has nothing to do wity child access in front of the law...Just sue for Access denial...and even if she claims u are not the father, tue court will order a DNA and once proven...U will be given visitation right and right to decision making...it is 2 of u involved not parents...as far as tge law is concerned... Be that as it may...It is necessary to workout peace between U and her and her parents...mostly for tye sake of ur child...hostility and toxic environment wont help ....I am not saying oay bride price or marry her ooo...Pls dont put urself in danger...anyone with resentment in them can harm U ...so diplomatically seek peace....leave petty fights...appeal to her emotions...act stupis if need be ...but use the law to get what u want and afterwards infor.ally seek peace...Then go get urself a good woman so u can have a family to raise ur child....cos las las as d child grows he will still come home....Just b a good and committed man...buy gifts for him...put your child on trips...make the child consistently ask the mom about U...maximise every time to make an impact with him .... 1 Like |
Re: Impending Child Custody Battle: Baby Mama Preventing Access To My Daughter by realtalk19: 5:14pm On Jan 27, 2019 |
Bonjelomo: so u expect me to kip wasting my precious time chasing shadows. a man just wants access to the child and no contribution at all. such man doesn't av shame and dignity. the op side of story still doesn't justify the story.the other side is needed to conclude.. I still stand on no access to the child u av no responsibility on until the child is 18yrs. don't just type and feel u ar right till u find ur self in the same situation 1 Like |
Re: Impending Child Custody Battle: Baby Mama Preventing Access To My Daughter by Nobody: 5:15pm On Jan 27, 2019 |
Mseww, OP abeg hide your face and bury that your ego. You're claiming father of baby that you dont care about... You vex, you disappear and reappear whenever you feel I like and expect a princely welcome?? Talking about offloading biscuits and juice wey no reach 5k ..Msewwwwww,, gerrarahere.. 5 Likes |
Re: Impending Child Custody Battle: Baby Mama Preventing Access To My Daughter by barristerzinny(f): 5:17pm On Jan 27, 2019 |
iloputaife:i will advise you based on the child rights act, this is my number 08117409752. I have to check it up and get back to you. |
Re: Impending Child Custody Battle: Baby Mama Preventing Access To My Daughter by Bonjelomo: 5:24pm On Jan 27, 2019 |
realtalk19: whatever u chose to stand on, according to the Nigerian Child's Rights, BOTH PARENTS HAVE ACCESS RIGHT TO THEIR CHILD AT EVERY STAGE OF DEVELOPMENT. Go get ur facts. I can quote many cases 1 Like |
Re: Impending Child Custody Battle: Baby Mama Preventing Access To My Daughter by Bonjelomo: 5:30pm On Jan 27, 2019 |
realtalk19: Violence usually involves more than one party. We have to hear the other side of the story. initially u claimed that ur baby father isn't responsible, and I suggested that u move the case to Family Court, via the Child's Rights Office. If the Welfare office isn't taking ur matter serious, walk down to the Office of the Public Defender, Surulere, beside the National Stadium. The case will not only be charged to Court, u will be given a lawyer if u desire, AT ZERO COST. Peace be unto you |
Re: Impending Child Custody Battle: Baby Mama Preventing Access To My Daughter by ChiefSweetus: 5:32pm On Jan 27, 2019 |
Noblefirstlady: ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Re: Impending Child Custody Battle: Baby Mama Preventing Access To My Daughter by chrisj2(m): 5:40pm On Jan 27, 2019 |
realtalk19: There is no real evidence that the OP does not want to be responsible for the child... of course, he has made mistakes not the part about getting the woman pregnant because that takes two to tango. * The OP is in a real pickle because the woman does not even need his money; I will also doubt she wants to marry him - perhaps? Nja and marriages as if that is all it takes to have a happy home or happy family - even a separated one... He does not need to stress about birth certificate to set up a 'trust fund' - he can just open and account and not touch the money until the child is 18 or independent or wants to relate to him as child and parent. I will advice him to move on and see whether the woman can come round or otherwise just move on; however, he can still try to communicate in whatever way he wants through third parties if need be. Access to the child is good but it has to be agreed and going to court and having forced access is not going to be beneficial to either party and the child. Women have main access and they can frustrate easily and the man might not even be able to make all access, so he will be labelled as irresponsible. Just move on! If she wants to marry you or want you in her life, she might come back and you can then negotiate otherwise, it is what it is. You cannot win against a woman when it comes to children. 2 Likes |
Re: Impending Child Custody Battle: Baby Mama Preventing Access To My Daughter by faithfull18(f): 5:43pm On Jan 27, 2019 |
tunjilana:The OP never stated she was bad, he only mentioned an instance where she was disrespectful to him and that's understandable with all the issues they are having. Ladies, avoid getting into situations like this because you most likely will be left to bear it all alone while the man is advised to marry another woman and settle down. Funny enough, I have personally seen cases like this where the woman picked up herself , raised her child, worked, studied, travelled overseas to study further and she got a good man. The man has never been married, he is young with no children, well travelled, educated, God-loving infact she got more than she bargained for. 3 Likes |
Re: Impending Child Custody Battle: Baby Mama Preventing Access To My Daughter by GboyegaD(m): 5:49pm On Jan 27, 2019 |
Kidaholic: It is easy to conclude the way you did but truth be told, if they acted that way, it was for the mother to endure and the next time, maybe get a man to go with her since our culture is patriarchal, they will respect his presence. I am sure there are ways this could be resolved but will take so much perseverance. Starting with Ify's suggestion would be nice. |
Re: Impending Child Custody Battle: Baby Mama Preventing Access To My Daughter by islandmoon: 6:06pm On Jan 27, 2019 |
Op, you have seriously messed up , imagine your daughter seening this post, how will she feel about you? you need to start making up for your misdeed now you didn't even tell us if you are now married since this happened 6 years ago don't make mistake of going to court these are steps you should take 1. start making effort to see you daughter by visiting either they welcome you or not, you are doing it for you daughter. 2. start sending money for her upkeep either she send it back or not 3. be on standby waiting for her to request for your assistance, its a good chance to mend the fence, by the way, you are owing them 1m 4.whenever she's rude to you, just over look it and continue your good deed, she will soon stop 5. try and get close to your father in law 6. give her Davido - Chioma treatment 7. if she still acting up , just endures because you have made her suffered so much in the past. you have seriously messed up oo! I don't know why you are so wicked God will guide you 5 Likes |
Re: Impending Child Custody Battle: Baby Mama Preventing Access To My Daughter by Cyberleets: 6:07pm On Jan 27, 2019 |
walcut:Op shouldn't even think of marrying the girl...since he is igbo. Dude will regret it later Let her go with the baby. They baby will surely look for him when she grows up. 1 Like |
Re: Impending Child Custody Battle: Baby Mama Preventing Access To My Daughter by jieta: 6:08pm On Jan 27, 2019 |
lefulefu:There is nothing the mother and even the grandmother would tell her that Will make the child change her mind. I'm talking from experience. |
Re: Impending Child Custody Battle: Baby Mama Preventing Access To My Daughter by LadyHal1(f): 6:12pm On Jan 27, 2019 |
You should be ashamed of yourself!
see how u spew trash without remorse?
I know your type...ribenna and biscuit... all hail Anambra prince! The value of a woman cannot be seen by every man except the right man for her! 8 Likes |
Re: Impending Child Custody Battle: Baby Mama Preventing Access To My Daughter by TEYA: 6:12pm On Jan 27, 2019 |
realtalk19:Me? "Such circumstances"? Nope! I am happily married. But judging from the anger you are radiating, it is easy to tell youve been used and dumped several times like the girl in the story. ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Impending Child Custody Battle: Baby Mama Preventing Access To My Daughter by Nobody: 6:23pm On Jan 27, 2019 |
Melian: This is the funniest shît I’ve read on nairaland this week. People like you see marriage as an achievement . You mustn’t be married to have kids |
Re: Impending Child Custody Battle: Baby Mama Preventing Access To My Daughter by joyousever(f): 6:44pm On Jan 27, 2019 |
Sorry op,I feel your plight. But looking at it the other way,the lady's sudden aggression could stem from your refusal to marry her,thereby taking the by force tag' baby mama'. You really don't know how that feels,especially being in a relationship that once had the prospects of marriage & all of a sudden the man changes his mind. Also, the pains & stress she went though at the hospital for over a month, coupled with your adamance of not marrying her is enough to drive her nuts at the slightest provocation. You men don't really know what women go through during labour. If I may ask, did you just notice how disrespectful she had become simply becos she's now a baby mama? Or she wasn't like this while dating her? If the later is the case, I'll assume u're using that as an excuse to dodge marrying her. Anyways Op, there's no problem without a solution. All you need do is to employ mature & peaceful dialogue between you two,you could involve your parents and people she respects or listens to. This is not a big deal,after all,the kid is yours too & it's an issue that can be sorted out amicably without even involving the law. Wishing you a peaceful resolution. 1 Like |
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