XaintJoel20:



The truth, is that when I think of her inbuilt qualities, I am force to believe I will be on the losing side if she fails into the hands of someone else.
That's why I said I am in a dilemma.

You my friend is a selfish gold digger, you dont want her and you dont want to leave her, who dors that?

If there's no emotional connection leave the poor good lady, stop deceiving her and go double your hustle to better yourself.

Dont be in a relationship cus what you stand to gain. Let her be!

Op..your challenge may probably be that you are seeing someone else (a side chick) who is giving you more sexual satisfaction than she does. An industrious and virtuous lady such as described by you are not usually good in bed as they are mostly consumed with what they do.

My advice .. Beauty fades and Cassava will turn to carrot but he who finds a wife, finds a good things and obtain favor. Do not make a mistake as you may end up regretting in the future.

If this makes sense to you. Pls click like

To love no be by muscle or beauty, if it's hard for you to express it for her then that means the two of you can't have a future together, why not let her go? Because you two are incomparable

XaintJoel20:
Nairalanders please help a brother to avoid future regret..

I met my current girlfriend in one of the states in the western part of Nigeria during NYSC and we were very close though we had nothing intimate between us.
After youth service we kept in touch and one thing led to another and we started a relationship, after I discovered that she was a rare breed.

She is every man's dream woman as she is supportive, understanding, loving, has foresight and very industrous and investment crazy.

The problem is that I am not emotionally attached to her. I don't want to marry her out of pity and have reasons to still being running after ladies outside,an act which will definitely bring regret and maybe shatter my dream of a blissful home.

I was thinking maybe, just maybe if we tie the knot I may come to love and b emotionally attached to her.

Please friends in the house I am in a dilemma...

Dude anybody that tells you magic happens after marriage is a liar. Is she not beautiful enough, not romantic. She doesn't hug you or play with you except business? Clarify.

generationz:


oya op pick one

she no get breast
she no get yansh
she no fine
she is short

which of these qualities do you cherish that she lacks ?

The best thing is for you to free her now than marry her and make her miserable while she already has kids.

She still has a good chance of finding a good man who will love her for her and cherish her.

Don't marry out of pity.

but the thunder that will fire you for not being so attracted to her and wasting her time, money and body is still doing pressup.

*tongueclick*

He isn't emotionally attached, but he is financially attached

Last last, he will marry one slayqueen that will deal with him. He will na come online and be disturbing us with philosophical quotes.

If you don't want someone, why not let him/her go? He has refused to do that. This same guy will meet another girl tomorrow and marry her in a week, while spending on her. You can never understand these sons of Adam...

Op....I understand your plight as i have been in your shoes before...you realize you have a really nice girl with all the rare admirable qualities you want in a woman and you’re scared if you lose her you’ll end up regretting for the rest of your life because you wont find someone like her but on the other hand you feel you aren’t attracted to her and this is because of some of her attributes... probably she isn’t pretty enough...or you love tall girls and she’s short or you love chubby girls ans she’s slim or fair girls and she’s dark or vise versa.... if there’s something you dont like about her....tell her. See there’s nothing that beats COMMUNICATION in a relationship... let her know whatever you feel you dont like about her and watch her change...she loves you enough to change and become perfect for you...give her the support she needs during this process....and if you feel there’s pressure on you or you feel you aren’t financially stable yet to get married or something...talk to her about it also instead of compensating yourself with ‘i dont feel anything for her’...tell her what is going on with you...that’s why she’s there for you.
Another thing is you need to work on yourself also...focus more what what you love about her...make sacrifices for her...treat her better...talk and see her more often...once she’s happy...you’d realize you’d be happy too....
Start seeing yourself has blessed....start seeing yourself as lucky....start seeing yourself as rich...you need to start realizing you have something other niggas wish ... pray and fast for... start treating her better because you will still face more difficult times in life and this is the kind of girl you need by your side at those times...she’ll give you or the support and advice you need and still give you enough respect to make you feel as the man.
The truth is...you think you aren’t emotionally attached to her but you are and you dont know it probably because of the way you got her (so easy) and the way she feels towards you...you feel so secured because you feel there’s no competition and you cant lose her anymore but when you lose her...you’ll realize how much you loved her and you’ll regret it for the rest of your life and it’ll hurt more when you see her happy with another man.

Op...If You Dont Want To Cry For Love... Dont Lose that Girl...Dont lose that girl...I Repeat...Dont Ever Ever Lose That Girl...

But seriously girls deserve this. This is me dying for a girl and her telling me she's in a relationship. People like op make them the Lord of the rings.Every girl is in a relationship now, even those in secondary school. So where are the free girls Op welldone o. Ode.

pocohantas:


He isn't emotionally attached, but he is financially attached

Last last, he will marry one slayqueen that will deal with him. He will na come online and be disturbing us with philosophical quotes.

If you don't want someone, why not let him/her go? He has refused to do that. This same guy will meet another girl tomorrow and marry her in a week, while spending on her. You can never understand these sons of Adam...

This is why Nairaland boys hate you. Your mouth is too sharp

XaintJoel20:



I would have done that long before now, but I still think she is too good to let go just like that.

I think I should tell you some few things you should know about her:
After our service year I was struggling to get a job and she advice I set up a business and helped with about 50% of the capital with which I started my current business.

When we started, she bought a large plot of land in my state and just recently developing the plot for agricultural use.

On all the occasion she has visited me in my state, she has done so with her money and also getting plenty of goodies for me and my family.

Just recently, she bought into my lifelong plan of travelling out of the country. She has put visible plan on ground for us to leave the country soon after our wedding.

The truth, is that when I think of her inbuilt qualities, I am force to believe I will be on the losing side if she fails into the hands of someone else.
That's why I said I am in a dilemma.

Dont be selfish man! If you can't get emotional attached to her, then don't ruin her life. Allow her for another guy.

There is this 80-20 rule you should know. It has two versions. But this one applies to your situation: some persons abandon the 80% in their partners, because they re looking for the 20% and end up with someone with just 20%, only to regret losing the 80% they once had.

XaintJoel20:



I would have done that long before now, but I still think she is too good to let go just like that.

I think I should tell you some few things you should know about her:
After our service year I was struggling to get a job and she advice I set up a business and helped with about 50% of the capital with which I started my current business.

When we started, she bought a large plot of land in my state and just recently developing the plot for agricultural use.

On all the occasion she has visited me in my state, she has done so with her money and also getting plenty of goodies for me and my family.

Just recently, she bought into my lifelong plan of travelling out of the country. She has put visible plan on ground for us to leave the country soon after our wedding.

The truth, is that when I think of her inbuilt qualities, I am force to believe I will be on the losing side if she fails into the hands of someone else.
That's why I said I am in a dilemma.

Oh, poor girl... She don enter one chance

Ishilove:

This is why Nairaland boys hate you. Your mouth is too sharp

The truth is a very bitter pill to swallow, for boys o. When NL WOMEN begin to hate me, I fit think am small...

You are a bloody gold digger, you sure don't deserve a good being like her. Leave that girl for a better guy that deserves her. Mind you, if you've been having sex with this girl, calously stealing the precious food of her future husband, reducing her future marital emotional stability and focus... After leaving her, you op shall NEVER enjoy your future marriage, Kama is an assassin. Amean.

XaintJoel20:


She doesn't have any of those "deformities" you listed up there.
She is better educated than myself as she has done her Msc while I am yet to further after by Bsc program.

I think it's a thing of the heart. Even when I try to fake it to make her happy, I know deep down that it's not real...

Dude I'm gonna be straight... let her go in a peaceful way, let her know your reasons. taking her in as a wife will only spell doom because the love is not there. It's better you let her go now or your ruin your future and hers too.

XaintJoel20:



I would have done that long before now, but I still think she is too good to let go just like that.

I think I should tell you some few things you should know about her:
After our service year I was struggling to get a job and she advice I set up a business and helped with about 50% of the capital with which I started my current business.

When we started, she bought a large plot of land in my state and just recently developing the plot for agricultural use.

On all the occasion she has visited me in my state, she has done so with her money and also getting plenty of goodies for me and my family.

Just recently, she bought into my lifelong plan of travelling out of the country. She has put visible plan on ground for us to leave the country soon after our wedding.

The truth, is that when I think of her inbuilt qualities, I am force to believe I will be on the losing side if she fails into the hands of someone else.
That's why I said I am in a dilemma.

You’re just a greedy bastardddd that’s preying on a naive girl and GOD will pay you in your own coin. You will marry a biatch and she’ll make your life a living hell. Infect you with an incurable disease and leave you to die alone like the wretched foooool you are. E-diot

From experience, I think you had an ex with a very bad character, selfish but attractive , more "woke" and beautiful than your present good girl....... Character matters most.

Explain things to her and tell her you need a break for a while

Nigga free that girl for us

XaintJoel20:


She doesn't have any of those "deformities" you listed up there.
She is better educated than myself as she has done her Msc while I am yet to further after by Bsc program.

I think it's a thing of the heart. Even when I try to fake it to make her happy, I know deep down that it's not real...

I was in a similar dilemma 4 years ago with girl of similar qualities as ur fiancée, I tried to love her to no avail, had to let her go cos I didn't want to take advantage of her love for me by using her which is what u are doing now..if u can't bring urself to luv her,why don't u let her go ,don't be selfish OP..

From your story i will assume she is stinkingly rich. . . . Bro i have A1 in developing love for people . . . . So can i have her number??

beezyblaze:
Op....I understand your plight as i have been in your shoes before...you realize you have a really nice girl with all the rare admirable qualities you want in a woman and you’re scared if you lose her you’ll end up regretting for the rest of your life because you wont find someone like her but on the other hand you feel you aren’t attracted to her and this is because of some of her attributes... probably you love tall girls and she’s short or you love chubby girls ans she’s slim or fair girls and she’s dark or vise versa.... if there’s something you dont like about her....tell her. See there’s nothing that beats COMMUNICATION in a relationship... let her know whatever you feel you dont like about her and watch her change...she loves you enough to change and become perfect for you...give her the support she needs during this process....and if you feel there’s pressure on you or you feel you aren’t financially stable yet to get married or something...talk to her about it also...tell her what is going on with you...that’s why she’s there for you.
Another thing is you need to work on yourself also...focus more what what you love about her...make sacrifices for her...treat her better...talk and see her for often...once she’s happy...you’d realize you’d be happy too....
Start seeing yourself has blessed....start seeing yourself as lucky....start seeing yourself as rich...you need to start realizing you have something other niggas wish ... pray and fast for... start treating her better because you still fave more difficult times in life and this is the kind of girl you need by your side at those times...she’ll give you or the support and advice you need and still give you enough respect to make you feel as the man.
The truth is...you think you aren’t emotionally attached to her but you are and you dont know it probably because of the way you got her (so easy) and the way she feels towards you...you feel so secured because you feel there’s no competition you cant lose her anymore but when you lose her...you’ll realize how much you loved her and you’ll regret it for the rest of your life and it’ll hurt more when you see her happy with another man.

Op...If You Dont Want To Cry For Love... Dont Lose that Girl...Dont lose that girl...I Repeat...Dont Ever Ever Lose That Girl...

Wow! I hardly get inspired by motivational/relationship writings but yours here is deep. It's like you're talking to me. I had a slay queen for a girlfriend over so many years, there was absolutely nothing good about her except for her looks. I met a girl with just about the attributes of that of the Op after we broke up. She was everything good except for what quality I don't even know that she lacks, maybe because she wasn't as attractive as my ex? Who knows? it took me time to really adjust. I will be getting married hopefully in April to an amazing woman. I just wonder how I would have felt if I had let her go. I won't lose that girl! I won't lose that girl!...... Thanks.

When the devil wants to destroy one's life, he makes him feel every wrong decision he makes is right.
Nuff said.
Use ur head, stick to only the girl!

XaintJoel20:



I would have done that long before now, but I still think she is too good to let go just like that.

This is the most selfish statement I've heard this year.

In a similar situation

delugajackson:
How can you have a woman who's every man's dream and you're not emotionally attached to her? Check yourself, you might be the problem.

Just so you know, there is nothing like "coming to love" after marriage. If there's no love from the begining, then the possibility of enjoying the marriage will be zero and such union is bound to crash at any time. You may keep basking in the euphoria of false-hope if you wish. But the truth remains that you will end up being sad, dejected and frustrated. And it's unfortunate that such a nice girl with such lovable qualities has to put up with your shìt when in reality, she deserves better.

I tire ooo, this is why Pocohantas keep destroying the boys here. Just imagine “every man’s dream” and he is only prickly attarch to her.
When boys talk you will know sha

[leave her, if not later in the marriage u will become an adultery chairman.... or pray it out first

Stop keeping her for selfish gains op.... Go find the One you're emotionally attached to and let her find her man. The earlier the better

Yeye shild If it me I will first cut ur preek be4 u say jack u wanna leave her for another gal Oh plzzz use yah coconut young man

XaintJoel20:



I would have done that long before now, but I still think she is too good to let go just like that.

I think I should tell you some few things you should know about her:
After our service year I was struggling to get a job and she advice I set up a business and helped with about 50% of the capital with which I started my current business.

When we started, she bought a large plot of land in my state and just recently developing the plot for agricultural use.

On all the occasion she has visited me in my state, she has done so with her money and also getting plenty of goodies for me and my family.

Just recently, she bought into my lifelong plan of travelling out of the country. She has put visible plan on ground for us to leave the country soon after our wedding.

The truth, is that when I think of her inbuilt qualities, I am force to believe I will be on the losing side if she fails into the hands of someone else.
That's why I said I am in a dilemma.

just send her contact to me. since you don't love her. she is a rare gem but perhaps both of you are not meant to be together.

XaintJoel20:



I would have done that long before now, but I still think she is too good to let go just like that.

I think I should tell you some few things you should know about her:
After our service year I was struggling to get a job and she advice I set up a business and helped with about 50% of the capital with which I started my current business.

When we started, she bought a large plot of land in my state and just recently developing the plot for agricultural use.

On all the occasion she has visited me in my state, she has done so with her money and also getting plenty of goodies for me and my family.

Just recently, she bought into my lifelong plan of travelling out of the country. She has put visible plan on ground for us to leave the country soon after our wedding.

The truth, is that when I think of her inbuilt qualities, I am force to believe I will be on the losing side if she fails into the hands of someone else.
That's why I said I am in a dilemma.

You don't know what you want in life. If you continue like this, you may regret you came to this world.
You better control your emotions before your emotions control you

Ubdavis:
If u refuse to love a rare breed, I wonder !

maybe he wants olosho.

life can never be straight bro. Let me tell you something, if you marry someone else and she lacks some attitude you cherish from this your girlfriend, you will still blame yourself for letting her go.

Sit down and think about what you really want.

XaintJoel20:


She doesn't have any of those "deformities" you listed up there.
She is better educated than myself as she has done her Msc while I am yet to further after by Bsc program.

I think it's a thing of the heart. Even when I try to fake it to make her happy, I know deep down that it's not real...

You might not find another like her. Sometimes marriage needs to b a rational decision and not just emotional. Someone once told me when it comes to marriage, love ain't enough.

Hnmmmm.......OP...when last did you go for deliverance, ure village people have discovered how dis lady will help ure future and dey are trying to push u away from her.....hnmm....hnmmm....now close ure eyes raise ure hands and say after me...." my father, my father, epp me......