Resonance consults interview ,but I. Ant remember wen I applied

Derea:


You have great wisdom.

I'll give an example of my sister who got married at age 26. After giving birth to her first child, she travelled alone to the U.S. She came back to Nigeria before the expiration of her visa. Then she travelled again, but this time, and unknown to her husband, she had other plans- to live in the U.S as an illegal immigrant.

When she left, she was pregnant.

In my opinion, she had it all planned out. My question always has been: what kind of wife and mother gives up husband and child for a better life in a developed country. Her son was traumatized for the first few years she left, he was barely 2 at the time, but thankfully, 6 years later, he's grown out of it, plus she keeps in touch and ensures he doesn't lack a thing.

However, she and her husband have since broken up and she couldn't possibly care less.

Though I staunchly condemn my sister's methods, I should not blame her entirely unless I want to be sentimental. The same society that condemns her for what she did is the same that would shame her if she wasn't married as I'm typing this.

What if that was her only chance at marriage and having children? In my opinion, my sister played smart and life favors only smart people while the rest of us are shamed for being innocent and naive.

These past but recent experiences have taught me that it's better to have been married than not to be married at all. A friend recently called, we hadn't spoken in a looong while. When he realized I wasn't married, he exclaimed, "a pretty girl like you! Are you sure you're not the problem?". Imagine!

In spite of my sister's shortcomings and failed marriage, my mum still rates her far better than I because of her achievements like children and some money. While, I, on the other hand, a "failure".

Mum will often tell me how I'm no longer beautiful. She would tactically tell me how other people think so too.

For example, on this particular day, I went to her office briefly. On getting home that night, she told me about how her colleagues marvelled at my looks. But that one of them, who also happens to be my mum's close friend told the others that, "ah it's because you didn't know her before now. If you did, you wouldn't say she is beautiful".

Mum sometimes tells me how she's never happy seeing me around. She's ashamed, I guess, having an older, unmarried woman in her house.

Wouldn't blame her though, most nigerian mothers are seriously traditional. Even worse, I'm not working, though I try not to eat her food. I feed from my little savings, while my dad funds my professional exams.

This is just to make a simple but relevant point that contrary to what Op thinks, any woman who is desperate to get married will get married.

And yet you don't have your pics on dp, most men do not like kids but matured ladies due to little girls have no life exprience but materialistic so most men even go for older lady. Things are had now in Nigeria but trust guys on packaging.
I emplore you to sell yourself welcome good guy will come around soon but make sure you got something too on the table

Derea:


You have great wisdom.

I'll give an example of my sister who got married at age 26. After giving birth to her first child, she travelled alone to the U.S. She came back to Nigeria before the expiration of her visa. Then she travelled again, but this time, and unknown to her husband, she had other plans- to live in the U.S as an illegal immigrant.

When she left, she was pregnant.

In my opinion, she had it all planned out. My question always has been: what kind of wife and mother gives up husband and child for a better life in a developed country. Her son was traumatized for the first few years she left, he was barely 2 at the time, but thankfully, 6 years later, he's grown out of it, plus she keeps in touch and ensures he doesn't lack a thing.

However, she and her husband have since broken up and she couldn't possibly care less.

Though I staunchly condemn my sister's methods, I should not blame her entirely unless I want to be sentimental. The same society that condemns her for what she did is the same that would shame her if she wasn't married as I'm typing this.

What if that was her only chance at marriage and having children? In my opinion, my sister played smart and life favors only smart people while the rest of us are shamed for being innocent and naive.

These past but recent experiences have taught me that it's better to have been married than not to be married at all. A friend recently called, we hadn't spoken in a looong while. When he realized I wasn't married, he exclaimed, "a pretty girl like you! Are you sure you're not the problem?". Imagine!

In spite of my sister's shortcomings and failed marriage, my mum still rates her far better than I because of her achievements like children and some money. While, I, on the other hand, a "failure".

Mum will often tell me how I'm no longer beautiful. She would tactically tell me how other people think so too.

For example, on this particular day, I went to her office briefly. On getting home that night, she told me about how her colleagues marvelled at my looks. But that one of them, who also happens to be my mum's close friend told the others that, "ah it's because you didn't know her before now. If you did, you wouldn't say she is beautiful".

Mum sometimes tells me how she's never happy seeing me around. She's ashamed, I guess, having an older, unmarried woman in her house.

Wouldn't blame her though, most nigerian mothers are seriously traditional. Even worse, I'm not working, though I try not to eat her food. I feed from my little savings, while my dad funds my professional exams.

This is just to make a simple but relevant point that contrary to what Op thinks, any woman who is desperate to get married will get married.

Should I tell u d truth

Na u no wan marry

mrblessed:
Nairaland has become a space where anyone makes high-sounding, fact-deficient statement without a corresponding empirical evidence to support their claim. Yes, a lot of unmarried ladies (the same is applicable to unmarried men) litter the length and breadth of Nigeria, but mere "availability" -- and, of course, desperation, a term clearly evident in your post, but not stated, can't hardly be the reasons. In most cases, "desperate" ladies who have set marriage as a goal, almost always achieve their objective more than carefree, happy-go-lucky ones who have led themselves up to a blind alley. Note that not marrying not at all -- or even late marriage -- is a social problem to any society.

Again, your post does not respect the geographical and cultural differences that shape and define Nigeria. The social problem you raised does not exist in the north, has a fairly poor showing in the west, but widespread in the east. I will make my case for eastern Nigeria, and I have three reasons.

First, we have a weak, gloom, and hard economy that has contracted the possibility of men getting jobs, and a government policy that has failed to stimulate entrepreneurship. So many men are unmarried because they simply because can't afford it.

Second, if you check the number of people who are victims of natural disasters, violent crimes, those imprisoned, you will discover that men have a highly disproportionate figure than women. These men are supposed to be people's husband in the future.

Third, we have a trend today that views marriage as an insignificantly needless imprisonment, but nonetheless accepts child bearing as a major/only reason for male-female relationship. A lot people have refused to get married because they can easily make babies without accepting the commitment that goes with marriage.

Thats the problem! The men are there in sufficient numbers but wont marry because they are already being over serviced.
Nb: It's was clearly stated as a personal opinion

MariaLavina:
Confused lots!

When a lady decides to be caring, attentive, and supportive, she becomes too available , desperate and cheap.

But when she decides to put herself first, seek only want you can offer, she becomes a slut, gold digger and a materialistic one. The problem with you overgrown babies is that you do not get to understand what you want before you stopped growing.


Fools!

Are you married ?

Derea:

life favors only smart people while the rest of us are shamed for being innocent and naive.

I have to say, I don't understand the meaning of being "smart", because it seems that everytime someone does something selfish and self-centered, stepping on toes without giving a damn, it is referred to as being smart.

Should we all be smart? Because being selfish is actually very easy.

Derea:


You have great wisdom.

I'll give an example of my sister who got married at age 26. After giving birth to her first child, she travelled alone to the U.S. She came back to Nigeria before the expiration of her visa. Then she travelled again, but this time, and unknown to her husband, she had other plans- to live in the U.S as an illegal immigrant.

When she left, she was pregnant.

In my opinion, she had it all planned out. My question always has been: what kind of wife and mother gives up husband and child for a better life in a developed country. Her son was traumatized for the first few years she left, he was barely 2 at the time, but thankfully, 6 years later, he's grown out of it, plus she keeps in touch and ensures he doesn't lack a thing.

However, she and her husband have since broken up and she couldn't possibly care less.

Though I staunchly condemn my sister's methods, I should not blame her entirely unless I want to be sentimental. The same society that condemns her for what she did is the same that would shame her if she wasn't married as I'm typing this.

What if that was her only chance at marriage and having children? In my opinion, my sister played smart and life favors only smart people while the rest of us are shamed for being innocent and naive.

These past but recent experiences have taught me that it's better to have been married than not to be married at all. A friend recently called, we hadn't spoken in a looong while. When he realized I wasn't married, he exclaimed, "a pretty girl like you! Are you sure you're not the problem?". Imagine!

In spite of my sister's shortcomings and failed marriage, my mum still rates her far better than I because of her achievements like children and some money. While, I, on the other hand, a "failure".

Mum will often tell me how I'm no longer beautiful. She would tactically tell me how other people think so too.

For example, on this particular day, I went to her office briefly. On getting home that night, she told me about how her colleagues marvelled at my looks. But that one of them, who also happens to be my mum's close friend told the others that, "ah it's because you didn't know her before now. If you did, you wouldn't say she is beautiful".

Mum sometimes tells me how she's never happy seeing me around. She's ashamed, I guess, having an older, unmarried woman in her house.

Wouldn't blame her though, most nigerian mothers are seriously traditional. Even worse, I'm not working, though I try not to eat her food. I feed from my little savings, while my dad funds my professional exams.

This is just to make a simple but relevant point that contrary to what Op thinks, any woman who is desperate to get married will get married.

There's nothing smart about your sister's evil act - disingenuousness shouldn't be mistaken for smartness. She's a typical egotist - self-centered and heartless idiot. I hope she and her supporters will not cry murder when the estranged husband gives her a dose of her own medicine in any best way he may deem fit.

Meanwhile, your mother is a typical small-minded person (no apologies) who's in the habit of mistaken wickedness for wisdom, while mistaken wisdom for foolishness. She's a true mother of your sister. . . For her type, expediency over principle any day and anytime.

Smart people never achieve success to the detriment of others - at least not to the detriment of those they share/have shared closeness with or the helpless. A smart person, in business for instance understands the principle of earning to share with associate(s) and never to eat from associate(s).

Yigiyaga:
Thats the problem! The men are there in sufficient numbers but wont marry because they are already being over serviced.
Nb: It's was clearly stated as a personal opinion

Everyone has got the right to hold an opinion, no matter how liberal, conservative, reactionary, hollow, vile, etc. it may be. What is self-evident is that opinions are not cast in stone, and are expected to undergo transformation when encounter superior argument. Plus, when opinions are shared/expressed publicly, they lose their "personal" characteristics and it behooves on the individual to be open-minded and objective in receiving harsh but truthful comments. So, my friend, you can't hide under the veneer of 'personal" opinion to make transparently biased and emotionally tainted comment.

However, as I clearly stated in my previous post, what you flippantly dabbled into is a societal issue which has assumed a threat of epic proportion. This so because marriage is at the centre of human civilization and progress. It is utterly disingenuous to single out and blame one gender alone. It beats my imagination that you believe ladies are solely responsible for the growing number of men who are of age but do not possess the financial wherewithal for marriage. I have listed three main points I think are the prime reasons for this challenge some men are grappling with today.

Derea:


You have great wisdom.

I'll give an example of my sister who got married at age 26. After giving birth to her first child, she travelled alone to the U.S. She came back to Nigeria before the expiration of her visa. Then she travelled again, but this time, and unknown to her husband, she had other plans- to live in the U.S as an illegal immigrant.

When she left, she was pregnant.

In my opinion, she had it all planned out. My question always has been: what kind of wife and mother gives up husband and child for a better life in a developed country. Her son was traumatized for the first few years she left, he was barely 2 at the time, but thankfully, 6 years later, he's grown out of it, plus she keeps in touch and ensures he doesn't lack a thing.

However, she and her husband have since broken up and she couldn't possibly care less.

Though I staunchly condemn my sister's methods, I should not blame her entirely unless I want to be sentimental. The same society that condemns her for what she did is the same that would shame her if she wasn't married as I'm typing this.

What if that was her only chance at marriage and having children? In my opinion, my sister played smart and life favors only smart people while the rest of us are shamed for being innocent and naive.

These past but recent experiences have taught me that it's better to have been married than not to be married at all. A friend recently called, we hadn't spoken in a looong while. When he realized I wasn't married, he exclaimed, "a pretty girl like you! Are you sure you're not the problem?". Imagine!

In spite of my sister's shortcomings and failed marriage, my mum still rates her far better than I because of her achievements like children and some money. While, I, on the other hand, a "failure".

Mum will often tell me how I'm no longer beautiful. She would tactically tell me how other people think so too.

For example, on this particular day, I went to her office briefly. On getting home that night, she told me about how her colleagues marvelled at my looks. But that one of them, who also happens to be my mum's close friend told the others that, "ah it's because you didn't know her before now. If you did, you wouldn't say she is beautiful".

Mum sometimes tells me how she's never happy seeing me around. She's ashamed, I guess, having an older, unmarried woman in her house.

Wouldn't blame her though, most nigerian mothers are seriously traditional. Even worse, I'm not working, though I try not to eat her food. I feed from my little savings, while my dad funds my professional exams.

This is just to make a simple but relevant point that contrary to what Op thinks, any woman who is desperate to get married will get married.

amazing
you are really going through a lot, may God give you strength

mrblessed:
Everyone has got the right to hold an opinion, no matter how liberal, conservative, reactionary, hollow, vile, etc. it may be. What is self-evident is that opinions are not cast in stone, and are expected to undergo transformation when encounter superior argument. Plus, when opinions are shared/expressed publicly, they lose their "personal" characteristics and it behooves on the individual to be open-minded and objective in receiving harsh but truthful comments. So, my friend, you can't hide under the veneer of 'personal" opinion to make transparently biased and emotionally tainted comment.

However, as I clearly stated in my previous post, what you flippantly dabbled into is a societal issue which has assumed a threat of epic proportion. This so because marriage is at the centre of human civilization and progress. It is utterly disingenuous to single out and blame one gender alone. It beats my imagination that you believe ladies are solely responsible for the growing number of men who are of age but do not possess the financial wherewithal for marriage. I have listed three main points I think are the prime reasons for this challenge some men are grappling with today.

Bros,you sabi blow grammar...i gree. But i insist girls and ladies need to tighten up to some morals. I even came across a thread here in romance section,of a guy bragging about sleeping with 7 girls in a day. Honestly i dont doubt him. So bros leave grammar.

Uglymugg:


I have to say, I don't understand the meaning of being "smart", because it seems that everytime someone does something selfish and self-centered, stepping on toes without giving a damn, it is referred to as being smart.

Should we all be smart? Because being selfish is actually very easy.

Well, there isn't a rule across the board. It's a dog eat dog world. Most of the world's most successful business owners are manipulative, calculating, selfish and have stepped on toes to get to where they are. They wouldn't tell you this. What they show to the world is what they want us to see.

LordKO:


There's nothing smart about your sister's evil act - disingenuousness shouldn't be mistaken for smartness. She's a typical egotist - self-centered and heartless idiot. I hope she and her supporters will not cry murder when the estranged husband gives her a dose of her own medicine in any best way he may deem fit.

I wanted to ask if you were a psychologist. You're spot on on one or two things. My sister is actually the apple of my mother's eyes. She can do no wrong in her eyes.

However, my mum isn't egotistical, savage or demanding. She just has expectations as any nigerian mother will have. Traditional and narrow minded indeed. Despite being highly religious, I sometimes wonder where she puts her faith seeing that she's completely written me off on this marriage matter. My younger sister is married and the one after her had her introduction last December.

My mum isn't a bad person at all. Only lacks good parenting skills. Like the rest of us, she has flaws. Most of her utterances come from a very negative mindset, like, if you aren't giving her results, she'll think the worst of you and essentially keep you on the back burner. She's one of my motivations for success. Also, I sometimes think about the possibility of dating discreetly and shocking my family with introduction and wedding simultaneously.

My dad, on the other hand, is the best thing that ever happened to me. Too kind, never criticizes, very liberal and all of that.

Beyond all that, my sister does have a good heart and I'm saying this honestly.

Yigiyaga:
This is a personal opinion. You may chose to differ,all good.
Nigerian women according to my research are mostly single when they ought to be married because they are just too available. Take for instance a bachelor who has a different girlfriend wash,iron,cook and clean for him then baptism of fire till dawn. And he has 4 girlfriends. Tell me ?Honestly ,why would he marry any of them as he knows they also have illegal uncles too. And it goes around in such manner with men who have refused to marry but receive the full benefits of a man who has done every marriage rites. So much so that these unmarried guys sometimes have a better leverage than even a legally married man in such position because the ladies are expectant of marriage.
Its a bad spot for Nigerian women,but their free giving action is what i blame. Be wise

OK.....

LordKO:


Lol. Confession time: I've been learning and copying from you covertly - don't bother to sue me because I'm only imitating not duplicating, so I haven't done any wrong according to international law. Las las I may reach halfway your height even though I've empty head.

LOL you have speak a lot of English words already

Yigiyaga:
The misfortune of illiteracy is the shackles it places on an undeveloped mind.

For a growing number of Nairaland yoots, knowledge and its proper application is anathema

Even though the men receives does doesn't mean they do not desire or pick one from the list to marry. It all depends on what the lady brings. When a lady come to a man to add value to the man, she instantly beat her mate to the spot. The woman should not just come around a man and be seen as a sex provider only. If a man see you adding value to him spiritually, businesses vice, and encouraging all in an attempt to spore him to greatness, he will have no choice than to marry you. Because men want assets not liability. So a woman should understand the man she is flirting with, be calm in the relationship, add to the mans knowledge in his line of financial ~ by studying his business or job while he is away and seeing that she help him, see possible potential into his business, encouraged him to save, love God as she herself should be an example by character and not in words only.
Discuss with the man his view of marriage; this will give you an ideal on his position on this matter. If it is money, family requirements amongst other, but so far he has no problem with marriage and raising of kids, them you can start working it with him in terms of contributing financially and initiating cooperation with her own family to see that their marriage pushes through.

In all men needs a contributor, so a woman who has herself only to offer may stay long unmarried. I am married but when single and in premarital sex though with just her, I didn't see her giving herself to me as .... But I had eyes on the point listed above as criteria for choosing her.

I hope this help

Derea:



I wanted to ask if you were a psychologist. You're spot on on one or two things. My sister is actually the apple of my mother's eyes. She can do no wrong in her eyes.

However, my mum isn't egotistical, savage or demanding. She just has expectations as any nigerian mother will have. Traditional and narrow minded indeed. Despite being highly religious, I sometimes wonder where she puts her faith seeing that she's completely written me off on this marriage matter. My younger sister is married and the one after her had her introduction last December.

My mum isn't a bad person at all. Only lacks good parenting skills. Like the rest of us, she has flaws. Most of her utterances come from a very negative mindset, like, if you aren't giving her results, she'll think the worst of you and essentially keep you on the back burner. She's one of my motivations for success. Also, I sometimes think about the possibility of dating discreetly and shocking my family with introduction and wedding simultaneously.

My dad, on the other hand, is the best thing that ever happened to me. Too kind, never criticizes, very liberal and all of that.

Beyond all that, my sister does have a good heart and I'm saying this honestly.

It sounds like your dad and mom live seperately?(i wouldnt presume to think they are divorced) If that is the case, i would frankly suggest(and in a measure of love) that you go and live with him in the meantime while you prepare for your exams.

From your assertions and the intellectual banter between LordKo and yourself, i daresay you are one of the beautiful ones that indeed have been born; you graciously deflected the bullet he rightly(imo) aimed at your mom and sis, by his accusing them of impropriety...heck, im darn certain you would take the fall for their ineptitudes(have probably craftily done so your whole life, you heroine, you)

But you need a break, ogirl. You have a beautiful mind and heart. Heck, you are making excuses for a woman who abandoned her child(yeah, it must sound harsh to you, but thats the word to describe leaving a 2 yr old boy with his estranged father- 'abandoned') only because she is family! You have a big heart! But you might need to take a break to focus on and channel your own unique strengths hence my suggestion for you to go be with the one person in the family you clearly take after- your dear old man, while you prepare to be launched to the next level.

Yigiyaga:
This is a personal opinion. You may chose to differ,all good.
Nigerian women according to my research are mostly single when they ought to be married because they are just too available. Take for instance a bachelor who has a different girlfriend wash,iron,cook and clean for him then baptism of fire till dawn. And he has 4 girlfriends. Tell me ?Honestly ,why would he marry any of them as he knows they also have illegal uncles too. And it goes around in such manner with men who have refused to marry but receive the full benefits of a man who has done every marriage rites. So much so that these unmarried guys sometimes have a better leverage than even a legally married man in such position because the ladies are expectant of marriage.
Its a bad spot for Nigerian women,but their free giving action is what i blame. Be wise

Isn't this another wickedness under the sun, as seen by King Solomon.

Derea:


You have great wisdom.

I'll give an example of my sister who got married at age 26. After giving birth to her first child, she travelled alone to the U.S. She came back to Nigeria before the expiration of her visa. Then she travelled again, but this time, and unknown to her husband, she had other plans- to live in the U.S as an illegal immigrant.

When she left, she was pregnant.

In my opinion, she had it all planned out. My question always has been: what kind of wife and mother gives up husband and child for a better life in a developed country. Her son was traumatized for the first few years she left, he was barely 2 at the time, but thankfully, 6 years later, he's grown out of it, plus she keeps in touch and ensures he doesn't lack a thing.

However, she and her husband have since broken up and she couldn't possibly care less.

Though I staunchly condemn my sister's methods, I should not blame her entirely unless I want to be sentimental. The same society that condemns her for what she did is the same that would shame her if she wasn't married as I'm typing this.

What if that was her only chance at marriage and having children? In my opinion, my sister played smart and life favors only smart people while the rest of us are shamed for being innocent and naive.

These past but recent experiences have taught me that it's better to have been married than not to be married at all. A friend recently called, we hadn't spoken in a looong while. When he realized I wasn't married, he exclaimed, "a pretty girl like you! Are you sure you're not the problem?". Imagine!

In spite of my sister's shortcomings and failed marriage, my mum still rates her far better than I because of her achievements like children and some money. While, I, on the other hand, a "failure".

Mum will often tell me how I'm no longer beautiful. She would tactically tell me how other people think so too.

For example, on this particular day, I went to her office briefly. On getting home that night, she told me about how her colleagues marvelled at my looks. But that one of them, who also happens to be my mum's close friend told the others that, "ah it's because you didn't know her before now. If you did, you wouldn't say she is beautiful".

Mum sometimes tells me how she's never happy seeing me around. She's ashamed, I guess, having an older, unmarried woman in her house.

Wouldn't blame her though, most nigerian mothers are seriously traditional. Even worse, I'm not working, though I try not to eat her food. I feed from my little savings, while my dad funds my professional exams.

This is just to make a simple but relevant point that contrary to what Op thinks, any woman who is desperate to get married will get married.

There's a big difference between being smart and deceptive. Your sister is deceptive and it will do you a whole lot of good if you don't follow in her footsteps. Yes, the money might be there but do you seriously think she's happy? She might be able to mask her feeling from you guys but years from now, if she remains in the same state, depression sets in. Your mum is wrong to treat you that way and I believe that this requires your Dad to step in and put a stop to it. I don't understand something though, when you say that you try not to eat her food, does it mean that you let your mum do the cooking when she comes back from work?

Babaighodaro:
Resonance consults interview ,but I. Ant remember wen I applied

pls did u go for d interview? I just received an invitation now.

don4real18:

There's a big difference between being smart and deceptive. Your sister is deceptive and it will do you a whole lot of good if you don't follow in her footsteps. Yes, the money might be there but do you seriously think she's happy? She might be able to mask her feeling from you guys but years from now, if she remains in the same state, depression sets in. Your mum is wrong to treat you that way and I believe that this requires your Dad to step in and put a stop to it. I don't understand something though, when you say that you try not to eat her food, does it mean that you let your mum do the cooking when she comes back from work?

Thanks. Not exactly. It isn't a black and white issue.

ianq:


It sounds like your dad and mom live seperately?(i wouldnt presume to think they are divorced) If that is the case, i would frankly suggest(and in a measure of love) that you go and live with him in the meantime while you prepare for your exams.

You have kind words and are discerning. Yes a family member had suggested staying with dad but he lives outside the state. They aren't divorced, but live separately cos of their jobs.

Yigiyaga:
This is a personal opinion. You may chose to differ,all good.
Nigerian women according to my research are mostly single when they ought to be married because they are just too available. Take for instance a bachelor who has a different girlfriend wash,iron,cook and clean for him then baptism of fire till dawn. And he has 4 girlfriends. Tell me ?Honestly ,why would he marry any of them as he knows they also have illegal uncles too. And it goes around in such manner with men who have refused to marry but receive the full benefits of a man who has done every marriage rites. So much so that these unmarried guys sometimes have a better leverage than even a legally married man in such position because the ladies are expectant of marriage.
Its a bad spot for Nigerian women,but their free giving action is what i blame. Be wise

You, sir , have committed the fallacy of hasty generalisation.

Yigiyaga:
This is a personal opinion. You may chose to differ,all good.
Nigerian women according to my research are mostly single when they ought to be married because they are just too available. Take for instance a bachelor who has a different girlfriend wash,iron,cook and clean for him then baptism of fire till dawn. And he has 4 girlfriends. Tell me ?Honestly ,why would he marry any of them as he knows they also have illegal uncles too. And it goes around in such manner with men who have refused to marry but receive the full benefits of a man who has done every marriage rites. So much so that these unmarried guys sometimes have a better leverage than even a legally married man in such position because the ladies are expectant of marriage.
Its a bad spot for Nigerian women,but their free giving action is what i blame. Be wise

How did I miss out on this harem?
Jenny to wash cloth
Safiya to wash bathroom
Kunbi to cook
Ihu to sweep and clean

And all of them to ride the Willy

HOW DID I MISS THIS?

ornicus:


How did I miss out on this harem?
Jenny to wash cloth
Safiya to wash bathroom
Kunbi to cook
Ihu to sweep and clean

And all of them to ride the Willy

HOW DID I MISS THIS?

Lol


As in ehn? I'm lost Here.


I never imagined the real world is like this o!


The Op is enjoying o!

Ishilove:

You, sir , have committed the fallacy of hasty generalisation.

Proof? Observe the word "mostly".....most.

Derea:


You have great wisdom.

I'll give an example of my sister who got married at age 26. After giving birth to her first child, she travelled alone to the U.S. She came back to Nigeria before the expiration of her visa. Then she travelled again, but this time, and unknown to her husband, she had other plans- to live in the U.S as an illegal immigrant.

When she left, she was pregnant.

In my opinion, she had it all planned out. My question always has been: what kind of wife and mother gives up husband and child for a better life in a developed country. Her son was traumatized for the first few years she left, he was barely 2 at the time, but thankfully, 6 years later, he's grown out of it, plus she keeps in touch and ensures he doesn't lack a thing.

However, she and her husband have since broken up and she couldn't possibly care less.

Though I staunchly condemn my sister's methods, I should not blame her entirely unless I want to be sentimental. The same society that condemns her for what she did is the same that would shame her if she wasn't married as I'm typing this.

What if that was her only chance at marriage and having children? In my opinion, my sister played smart and life favors only smart people while the rest of us are shamed for being innocent and naive.

These past but recent experiences have taught me that it's better to have been married than not to be married at all. A friend recently called, we hadn't spoken in a looong while. When he realized I wasn't married, he exclaimed, "a pretty girl like you! Are you sure you're not the problem?". Imagine!

In spite of my sister's shortcomings and failed marriage, my mum still rates her far better than I because of her achievements like children and some money. While, I, on the other hand, a "failure".

Mum will often tell me how I'm no longer beautiful. She would tactically tell me how other people think so too.

For example, on this particular day, I went to her office briefly. On getting home that night, she told me about how her colleagues marvelled at my looks. But that one of them, who also happens to be my mum's close friend told the others that, "ah it's because you didn't know her before now. If you did, you wouldn't say she is beautiful".

Mum sometimes tells me how she's never happy seeing me around. She's ashamed, I guess, having an older, unmarried woman in her house.

Wouldn't blame her though, most nigerian mothers are seriously traditional. Even worse, I'm not working, though I try not to eat her food. I feed from my little savings, while my dad funds my professional exams.

This is just to make a simple but relevant point that contrary to what Op thinks, any woman who is desperate to get married will get married.

babe I will like to know you

Derea:


You have great wisdom.

I'll give an example of my sister who got married at age 26. After giving birth to her first child, she travelled alone to the U.S. She came back to Nigeria before the expiration of her visa. Then she travelled again, but this time, and unknown to her husband, she had other plans- to live in the U.S as an illegal immigrant.

When she left, she was pregnant.

In my opinion, she had it all planned out. My question always has been: what kind of wife and mother gives up husband and child for a better life in a developed country. Her son was traumatized for the first few years she left, he was barely 2 at the time, but thankfully, 6 years later, he's grown out of it, plus she keeps in touch and ensures he doesn't lack a thing.

However, she and her husband have since broken up and she couldn't possibly care less.

Though I staunchly condemn my sister's methods, I should not blame her entirely unless I want to be sentimental. The same society that condemns her for what she did is the same that would shame her if she wasn't married as I'm typing this.

What if that was her only chance at marriage and having children? In my opinion, my sister played smart and life favors only smart people while the rest of us are shamed for being innocent and naive.

These past but recent experiences have taught me that it's better to have been married than not to be married at all. A friend recently called, we hadn't spoken in a looong while. When he realized I wasn't married, he exclaimed, "a pretty girl like you! Are you sure you're not the problem?". Imagine!

In spite of my sister's shortcomings and failed marriage, my mum still rates her far better than I because of her achievements like children and some money. While, I, on the other hand, a "failure".

Mum will often tell me how I'm no longer beautiful. She would tactically tell me how other people think so too.

For example, on this particular day, I went to her office briefly. On getting home that night, she told me about how her colleagues marvelled at my looks. But that one of them, who also happens to be my mum's close friend told the others that, "ah it's because you didn't know her before now. If you did, you wouldn't say she is beautiful".

Mum sometimes tells me how she's never happy seeing me around. She's ashamed, I guess, having an older, unmarried woman in her house.

Wouldn't blame her though, most nigerian mothers are seriously traditional. Even worse, I'm not working, though I try not to eat her food. I feed from my little savings, while my dad funds my professional exams.

This is just to make a simple but relevant point that contrary to what Op thinks, any woman who is desperate to get married will get married.

Your mother needs a good talking to. Na wa o. It is this kind of mentality that pushes women into all kinds of bad marriages.

Derea:


You have great wisdom.

I'll give an example of my sister who got married at age 26. After giving birth to her first child, she travelled alone to the U.S. She came back to Nigeria before the expiration of her visa. Then she travelled again, but this time, and unknown to her husband, she had other plans- to live in the U.S as an illegal immigrant.

When she left, she was pregnant.

In my opinion, she had it all planned out. My question always has been: what kind of wife and mother gives up husband and child for a better life in a developed country. Her son was traumatized for the first few years she left, he was barely 2 at the time, but thankfully, 6 years later, he's grown out of it, plus she keeps in touch and ensures he doesn't lack a thing.

However, she and her husband have since broken up and she couldn't possibly care less.

Though I staunchly condemn my sister's methods, I should not blame her entirely unless I want to be sentimental. The same society that condemns her for what she did is the same that would shame her if she wasn't married as I'm typing this.

What if that was her only chance at marriage and having children? In my opinion, my sister played smart and life favors only smart people while the rest of us are shamed for being innocent and naive.

These past but recent experiences have taught me that it's better to have been married than not to be married at all. A friend recently called, we hadn't spoken in a looong while. When he realized I wasn't married, he exclaimed, "a pretty girl like you! Are you sure you're not the problem?". Imagine!

In spite of my sister's shortcomings and failed marriage, my mum still rates her far better than I because of her achievements like children and some money. While, I, on the other hand, a "failure".

Mum will often tell me how I'm no longer beautiful. She would tactically tell me how other people think so too.

For example, on this particular day, I went to her office briefly. On getting home that night, she told me about how her colleagues marvelled at my looks. But that one of them, who also happens to be my mum's close friend told the others that, "ah it's because you didn't know her before now. If you did, you wouldn't say she is beautiful".

Mum sometimes tells me how she's never happy seeing me around. She's ashamed, I guess, having an older, unmarried woman in her house.

Wouldn't blame her though, most nigerian mothers are seriously traditional. Even worse, I'm not working, though I try not to eat her food. I feed from my little savings, while my dad funds my professional exams.

This is just to make a simple but relevant point that contrary to what Op thinks, any woman who is desperate to get married will get married.

Intelligent remark dear. Hoping to meet you.

victorian:

This one will just be laffin, mtchww, she will nor even comment.