peacefull:
Thank you for everyone who gave me advice. I'm appreciate. I'm sorry for very late to say Thank you.
I'm still with him. But still not living together. Because of his work. I asked him about if he has a wife and kids in Nigeria. I was not angry or mad when I asked. I was trying to calm down and told him I have learned about Nigerian cultures and marriage. I even tried to explain about how my feel and thinking. I told him that I can understand if he married in Nigeria. But his answer is No. Sometimes I still ask him about that and telling him I can understand. But he always say No and that is my mindset. I was so hurt when many peoples told me that he is married in Nigeria. But I really appreciate for everyone who gave me advice and taught me about Nigerian cultures and marriage. My feeling is changed when I was getting fine from hurt. I told him one day I wanna try to live my life. He was laughing and not take serious and said Ok. I tried to make money. I got second work. But after sometime I got sick and lost main work. But still not give up. I already gave up many things like have a baby with him. Something like that. I don't hate him. I can't. Even if he is married and has kids in Nigeria, I can't hate him. Because I know he is a good person. How he treat me bad is doesn't matter. I just can't hate him. I still wanna know the truth from him. But I don't wanna always doubt him and feeling like hurt. That's why I need to try to live my life. I think I'm little bit move on. I'm sorry for my English. My English is still very poor. I'm really appreciate everyone who made me try to move. I'm not so hurt now! I'm sorry if I made irritated for everyone.

twosquare:
All right. Thanks for the feedback. Stay safe and strong.

sonsonny:
It's not related to a Nigerian culture. The problem is in your relationship, but only Lord knows, how to solve it.

peacefull:
error4040
I told him I'm ready for hear the truth and I will not angry or get mad. I explained him how my feel and what is made me doubt him. If he is married in Nigeria, I really wanted him to confession me. But he always say No. I never tell him I joined this Website. I just told him I have learned many things about Nigeria on internet. Then I told him that his doing and how he treat me is like someone who have a wife in Nigeria. I even told him that I can understand if he has a wife and kids in Nigeria.

peacefull:

I was so hurt and didn't wanna allow it at that time. I never wanted to share him with another woman at that time. But I have changed my mind. I told him I can understand that if he don't want another wife, but if his parents want him to marry with Nigerian woman, maybe he have to marry in Nigeria. I tried to think about what is his parents generation think about marriage. Then I was feeling like maybe our marriage is not good for them. I was feeling like our marriage is maybe only between me and him.
I'm so sorry I can't explain well.

peacefull:


I still don't know what will happen with my mind again if he will tell me he is married in Nigeria. But We can still laughing together. I don't know why. We had many many quarrel and bad times in the past. Sometimes We talked about divorce. But always not bad relationship and still can laughing together.

error4040:


About Joining this website, just keep it a secret


We know your English is not that Good, you are improving at least unlike before



i just hope he won't one day wake up then tell you he is coming to Nigeria and that would be the last time you would see Him.
their much to live for in this life than your current situation.
and try not to hurt your self over someone that do not appriciate You.

Lastly do you Believe in God or you are Shinto, Why am asking is I noticed Most Japanese are Shinto or Buddhist.

peacefull:


Thank you for advice me.
I will not tell him about this Website.
If he will leave me one day, I hope he will tell me before that. I really hope he is not kind of wicked person. He is very stubborn person. He knows that and his friend also said it to me before. He told me his family also know that. So if he decide to leave me, I know nobody can stop him. Thank you for your care. I'm really appreciate you.

About God, I think I'm Shinto. Why I said I think is because every my member of family's grave is in Temple. Any of memorial service is Buddhist memorial service in Temple where have grave. We also have Buddhist altar in the house. But I think I'm not Buddhist.

You are very right. Most Japanese are Shinto or Buddhist. But some peoples are Christian. I have nobody who is Muslim. But I saw one Japanese woman who is Muslim in hospital. Muslim is maybe not many in Japan. I'm not sure. But I know have Mosque in Japan and some place care for Muslim peoples like Restaurant and Hotel. We also have many Church in Japan. Japanese are celebrate on Christmas. But most of them are not Christian. Many peoples put cross accessories. But most of them are not Christian. I know that is very strange.

Homeboiy:



How old are you?

Is your child boy or girl?

Homeboiy:


How old are you?
Is your child boy or girl?

peacefull:


I'm 39 years old.
About my child, I can't answer your question. I'm sorry.
My age and my child gender is something problem with my marriage? Or someone who is your member of family married with like me?
Or someone who is your family or friend married with Nigerian man living in Japan?
If not disturb or bother you, Please Can you tell me why you asked me about that ?

error4040:
now this is A Good Reply

@peacefull kindly keep your Identity confidential.

Mizwisdom:



What type of question is this?

peacefull:


Maybe have reason and I really like to know.
Anyway Thank you so much.

Mizwisdom:


What type of question is this?

Homeboiy:

Mizwisdom:


Please don't mind him. Nigerian men cheat a lot and they'll still try to blame you for it. It's the same reason for that question, he wants to blame your age or your child's gender for your husband's attitude. Personally, I think your husband has a family here in Nigeria, it's not your fault, many do it here to Nigerian women too, they do it because it's easy to make excuses for this lifestyle. Only few who don't involve themselves in double lifestyle, those ones are the principled ones and they are not many. Its your choice to love your husband but don't let anyone blame you for his bad attitude.

Homeboiy:


Are you mad?

Did I ask you?

Tafia kee u there

peacefull:


I know I'm old and I know many guys like young ladys. But I never imagine that my age and child gender is problem for my marriage. I wrote my age before and also wrote I can't say my child gender before. So I can tell my age. But I can't tell my child gender.
Maybe that person (Sorry, I don't know man or woman) have reason for asked me about that. I like to know why asked me about that

My reply is rude for that person?

LoL for the Record Am 27yewrs Old and am Among those rear GEM that have a Thing For MILFS (Don't ask me why, because me my self I just don't know & Don't care) I guess Am FETISH.
And please am Not having Crush or anything Related to you.

About Your Age and child Gender Well mostly Men from East Do prefer Male child, but still that's not an excuse to treat ones wife badly or cheat because of her Age

and About you're Reply to him, Just because you prefer to keep Your personal information Confidential do not sound like you're Rude to Him. LoL but you're Reply was funny

peacefull:


Please don't be angry. I'm sorry If I made you feel bad and asked you like rude person.
She gave me advice and I'm really appreciate her.
Anyway, What do you mean Tafia kee u there? Is that Igbo language?

peacefull:


I know I'm old and I know many guys like young ladys. But I never imagine that my age and child gender is problem for my marriage. I wrote my age before and also wrote I can't say my child gender before. So I can tell my age. But I can't tell my child gender.
Maybe that person (Sorry, I don't know man or woman) have reason for asked me about that. I like to know why asked me about that

My reply is rude for that person?

peacefull:


Thank you for advice me. I'm appreciate you.
That person wanna blame me about my age or my child gender?! I never ever imagine that.
I think I was not good wife for him. Many times I had quarrel with him before. We couldn't understand for each other well before. Sometimes very little misunderstand made for big problem. We also had talk about divorce in the past. I think marriage is need love, respect, understand, care, something like that for each other. But sometimes We couldn't have it for each other. So if he leave me, not only his fault. I think my fault.
Double life style is polygamy? or cheating? Many Nigerian men do it for Nigerian women? If Nigerian woman married with Nigerian man and he also married in abroad, She knows about that or She don't know?
I'm sorry for my poor English and asking you many questions.

Mizwisdom:


Please don't mind him. Nigerian men cheat a lot and they'll still try to blame you for it. It's the same reason for that question, he wants to blame your age or your child's gender for your husband's attitude. Personally, I think your husband has a family here in Nigeria, it's not your fault, many do it here to Nigerian women too, they do it because it's easy to make excuses for this lifestyle. Only few who don't involve themselves in double lifestyle, those ones are the principled ones and they are not many. Its your choice to love your husband but don't let anyone blame you for his bad attitude.

here we Go again Madam what will you achieve with tagging us cheaters .
please do generalize us all with her husbands behaviour.
talking of which in Nigeria who cheat Alot we or you folks ?

error4040:
here we Go again Madam what will you achieve with tagging us cheaters . please do generalize us all with her husbands behaviour. talking of which in Nigeria who cheat Alot we or you folks ?

Mizwisdom:



Please try to ignore that small boy called homeboiy, pay him no attention, he's of no value to you, you won't believe he's still a teenager who you can send on errand or use as your houseboy so please don't respond to him, me I won't reduce myself to that

Back to the matter, yes I'm talking of polygamy. Before your husband travelled abroad he has already told himself that he will marry a citizen abroad for papers, so that he won't be illegal in your country. This doesn't mean that he can't truly fall in love but it might not have been in his initial plan. It's not unusual for him to have left a spouse back home with the promise that he will work and send money home, this didn't start today. My only advice is to do what will make you feel less guilty. Try to meet his real extended family and make friends with his Nigerian friends, amongst them you will find those who will expose him to you (all depends on how down to earth you are) and you can make whatever decision you like afterwards

Mizwisdom:



Please try to ignore that small boy called homeboiy, pay him no attention, he's of no value to you, you won't believe he's still a teenager who you can send on errand or use as your houseboy so please don't respond to him, me I won't reduce myself to that

Back to the matter, yes I'm talking of polygamy. Before your husband travelled abroad he has already told himself that he will marry a citizen abroad for papers, so that he won't be illegal in your country. This doesn't mean that he can't truly fall in love but it might not have been in his initial plan. It's not unusual for him to have left a spouse back home with the promise that he will work and send money home, this didn't start today. My only advice is to do what will make you feel less guilty. Try to meet his real extended family and make friends with his Nigerian friends, amongst them you will find those who will expose him to you (all depends on how down to earth you are) and you can make whatever decision you like afterwards

Madam why are you like this
well Your last Advice was on point!!!

error4040:
Madam why are you like this well Your last Advice was on point!!!

error4040:
LoL for the Record Am 27yewrs Old and am Among those rear GEN that have a Thing For MILFS (Don't ask me why, because me my self I just don't know & Don't care) I guess Am FETISH.
And please am Not having Crush or anything Related to you.

And About Your Age and child Gender Well mostly Men from East Do prefer Male child, but still that's not an excuse to treat ones wife badly or cheat because of her Age

and About you're Reply to him, Just because you prefer to keep Your personal information Confidential do not sound like you're Rude to Him. LoL but you're Reply was funny

Mizwisdom:

If u know u know

Homeboiy:



It's pidgin language

peacefull:


I checked meaning MILFS I didn't know that English. I had learn new English. Thank you!
Male child is Important from East Nigerian men? What about female child?
My reply is funny? I'm worry about if I'm rude.

Homeboiy:


I asked you those questions because I wanted to give u an answer from my igbo point of view but you and that useless idiot Mizwisdom are seeing my question as an insult.

As foolish as she is, she said men cheat a lot, maybe his father cheats a lot but please don't let her make u hate your husband.

I can no longer tell u what's on my mind cos I am angry