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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Wife Has Reduced Me To A Common Trash. (68037 Views)
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Re: My Wife Has Reduced Me To A Common Trash. by Orosemary(f): 12:06pm On Feb 26, 2019 |
OmoAlata1: Lol |
Re: My Wife Has Reduced Me To A Common Trash. by Nobody: 12:08pm On Feb 26, 2019 |
Martinez39: Your ideology does not tally with your Dad's. Your mother is who she is to the family because of your Dad's strategic home management skills. Your Dad never considered your mum as a partner that 'must' assist, he was excited that your mum was able to assist. No one is saying that women should not assist, but expecting them to assist compulsorily is the root of the crisis in marriage. I do not think marriage is compulsory naturally, after all, other animals do not get married, but if you must be married, understand that as a man it is your responsibility to provide 101% of all in that marriage and it does not stop there, you must remain romantic, chief security officer, the caregiver and the breadwinner. That is why you are called Husband from Husbandry etymology and Wife is called Mother, as in the giver of life. So, a woman must know how to birth beautiful kids and sustain the lives of families with great organic meals. Fathers are Heads of families. You do not expect a woman to contribute to your responsibilities without dragging the headship of family with you. It is just natural. This is not what most people expect to read, but truth is always bitter. I do not know why truth is always bitter, but it appears so. Do that and you will not die young. You will enjoy your years with wisdom and always have a wet pusssy on your bed and wine in your cup. 24 Likes 5 Shares |
Re: My Wife Has Reduced Me To A Common Trash. by Orosemary(f): 12:08pm On Feb 26, 2019 |
eph12: Yes separation can work sometimes. |
Re: My Wife Has Reduced Me To A Common Trash. by Orosemary(f): 12:08pm On Feb 26, 2019 |
Sorry dear. It's a sad situation. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Has Reduced Me To A Common Trash. by Nobody: 12:15pm On Feb 26, 2019 |
Martinez39: Young man, please learn to be respectful. It seems the lost of your Dad at a tender age and being a partial orphan has destroyed your mannerism. I understand that most people on nairaland are failures, but understand that not everyone is on your level of poverty of mind and mannerism. Be guided. 8 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Has Reduced Me To A Common Trash. by Martinez39(m): 12:17pm On Feb 26, 2019 |
Capensis:You are not speaking any truth. You are just spewing ridiculous garbages. Do you know my dad? What is my ideology? Mtewwwww. Please don't quote me again. I have never seen such dangerous confidence in a mindset that makes one vulnerable to gold digging leeches. Please, don't quote or I ignore you. Captain White Knight. 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Has Reduced Me To A Common Trash. by Nobody: 12:25pm On Feb 26, 2019 |
Martinez39: What do we expect from an orphan who was raised with money raised from frying akara. Hahahahaaha. This is another reason ladies should not marry poor people from broken homes. 7 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Wife Has Reduced Me To A Common Trash. by Orosemary(f): 12:29pm On Feb 26, 2019 |
Capensis: Hmm OK o ![]() ![]() |
Re: My Wife Has Reduced Me To A Common Trash. by Martinez39(m): 12:30pm On Feb 26, 2019 |
Capensis:I am not an orphan. My mum is still alive. My father was a very rich man. The hard time came when all the cars he wanted to sell weren't allowed to cross the border and his businesses collapsed. That was back then. I am sure you didn't read where I wrote that he got back on his feet big time perhaps you bias allow you pick only the part that fits your "truth" -- so much for a truth teller. There is no need of mine that my parents have never met. Not everyone is suffering in this life ![]() Besides, what is my ideology? How do you know what my dad thought of my mum? You are yet to tell me General White Knight. 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Has Reduced Me To A Common Trash. by Martinez39(m): 12:34pm On Feb 26, 2019 |
Dyt:Dyt, it is not written anywhere for both genders to take on any role. Any gender can take on any role they want as long as both are happy with it and have agreed on it. I am an unapologetic disciple of the equility of both genders. No gender is superior to the other. If the woman wants to take on the responsibility of the bread winner and the man is happy with it, there is no problem but let her not insult and embarrass her husband in fact none of them must insult the other for any shortcomings of the other. Am I clear. Cc. Daeylar (before you say there is a lot of misogyny on this thread) 4 Likes |
Re: My Wife Has Reduced Me To A Common Trash. by Nobody: 12:35pm On Feb 26, 2019 |
I'm sorry you feel this way, Mr. May your marriage change for the better. ![]() 4 Likes |
Re: My Wife Has Reduced Me To A Common Trash. by Martinez39(m): 12:40pm On Feb 26, 2019 |
OmoAlata1:You said he sounds like a group of husbands then, with absolute certainty, you judged him based on what you think he sounds like. Didn't you read that he was providing for his family when he was financially buoyant? Where are the evidences that he is emotionally draining his wife? Hian! 6 Likes
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Re: My Wife Has Reduced Me To A Common Trash. by Orosemary(f): 12:44pm On Feb 26, 2019 |
Martinez39: Don't mind them jare 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Has Reduced Me To A Common Trash. by Nobody: 12:49pm On Feb 26, 2019 |
Martinez39: You are an orphan, you are running on a victim mentality and you transfer your frustration on people who have not insulted you. If you do not change, you will fail in life. I see no reason you go around insulting people who do not insult you. I wish your Dad was alive to train you well, cos you are now a snowflake who has wrong opinions and understanding of Life. I am not one of the persons you can insult, cos you may never get to my level in life until and except you become humble, and learn not to engage your emotion. It clouds your judgment and makes you look silly. Be guided. 9 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Wife Has Reduced Me To A Common Trash. by Daeylar(f): 12:55pm On Feb 26, 2019 |
Martinez39: Lol, my reasons for saying there is a lot of misogyny are clearly stated in the post. I will even modify and add more. In addition to what you said, if the husband is the breadwinner let him not insult and embarrass his wife. I agree with your post. I think along the same lines. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Has Reduced Me To A Common Trash. by Martinez39(m): 12:59pm On Feb 26, 2019 |
Capensis:Lol. If I have insulted you, pardon my manners. I tend to get aggressive into the face of irrationality. I am very far from the personality you are attributing to me. Truth is, the things you are typing do not make any sense as they are complete ridiculous garbages. I hope I don't get to your level in life and my mum is still alive and kicking. Even though my dad is dead, I did my own growing up with my own common sense and that of my mother. If you have sense, you don't need a father before you become a man. Besides, you need to be humble and start thinking. You haven't told me my ideology and what my father thought of my mum. Mr. Mind reader. ![]() 12 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Wife Has Reduced Me To A Common Trash. by Martinez39(m): 1:00pm On Feb 26, 2019 |
Daeylar:@bold I am fully in support of that. |
Re: My Wife Has Reduced Me To A Common Trash. by Nobody: 1:11pm On Feb 26, 2019 |
Capensis:Is that how you do with your own wife? 5 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: My Wife Has Reduced Me To A Common Trash. by DrTee1(m): 1:12pm On Feb 26, 2019 |
Capensis: Thank you, Sir. Kindly permit me to make a few clarifications. I think that your comments above, which I captioned as some strategic role-playing in a bad marriage are best only for a bad marriage and only for a short period. Indeed, they aren't sustainable on a long term basis. No man can pretend for too long. No human being, especially in marriage, can pretend for too long. Pretence and such deceitful existence are only possible in flings or short-term relationships. In that case, playboys and playgirls would excel. Also, I personally think that deceit, lies and such falsehood, while they may be fanciful and attractive, are usually unsustainable. To cover one lie, a man or woman needs another 7 lies and on and on. All structures built on foundations of deceit and slothfulness are but friable and cannot genuinely stand the test of time. the test of time in this OP's case is about 5 - 8 years of marriage, that's inferring or assuming that his last child is 2-3 years and he had been coping fairly nicely in marriage until then. so when you say that you could/would take all the women/wives of men who do not follow certain life rules that you have posited, I think you may indeed achieve all that - but for a short period of time. Eventually, the hen would come to roost and you would find all your strategy, where it involves fiction, lies, deceit and make-belief, to be castles built on sand. The scales would fall off the eyes of the woman eventually and she would either port or begin to misbehave - or the man would dump her before the scales finally fall - thus completing a circle and bringing everything back to square 1. In essence, I think that while I appreciate all that you wrote in your initial comment which I quoted, I think they are are possibly short term measures for anyone who has lost his job and found himself in a loveless marriage. It wouldn't work for, say Femi Otedola or Akinwunmi Ambode, for example. Where would you expect a successful business tycoon who has a very dutiful and supportive wife to expect her husband to massage her at home on a 300k massage table every day? Or to have sex and tell sweet eyeball-to-eyeball stories thereafter on daily basis? So in essence, I encourage everyone to be honest and live by upright moral values (at all times) to himself or herself. Deceit/fiction/falsehood might 'win' for a short period, but at the end, 'na' always "God (go) win." Yoruba people say " Ti iro ba sa lo fun ogun odun, ojo kan soso looto yoo ba." When literally translated, that means "Even if falsehood reigns for 20 years, it would take only a day for the lie to be busted and the truth would be revealed." Like attracts like. For singles out there, if you are good and conduct yourself in a responsible and morally upright manner in your doings, you are unlikely to marry a wolf-like character - except you didn't do your due diligence in dating, or you allowed fanciful things or some blind/illogical spirituality or some inordinate counsel make lifetime decisions of marriage for you. Let each man or woman use his or her brain. Marriage is some real deal and each person would be in it[b] alone[/b] with his/her spouse. Anything false/untrue/ingenuine/counterfeit, whether in character or action, would never stand the test of time - and it is always important that people planning to go into successful marriages know this. Don't ever go out of your way to impress a lady/man. Be yourself. For every woman, there is a man - and vice-versa. Who sang that song? Adekunle Gold "There is a woman for every man..." ![]() P.S: For the good lady who picked out only one line of the several lines I wrote to label misogyny, I leave that to posterity to judge. If anything at all, I fully believe in gender equality and affirm that men and women, husband as well as wives, are EXACTLY equal before the law - and the homefront and the general society should be run with that knowledge at the back of everyone's minds. As many rights and privileges as a woman has directly or indirectly, a man should be allowed to enjoy - and women with mental and/or operational capacity should never be denied any placement/opportunity solely on the basis of their distinct gender - and vice-versa. 11 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: My Wife Has Reduced Me To A Common Trash. by Nobody: 1:27pm On Feb 26, 2019 |
ogawisdom: Hey,you really got me wrong.I still run the house because I have a business,just that we had to readjust due to the economic trends. My kids still attend the same school.I only owe part of the fees which is nothing compared to what I've paid. I don't think owing about 50k out of about 250k is a big deal.I always transfer the money to her so she could pay to the school,but she decided to embarrass me by letting the school call me. She has never paid my kids school fees or taken over my responsibilities as the father.Been broke really has levels my brother. The worse of it all is that ,between December and now,I've spent close to a million both for rent and the family. I even have an on going building project gulping money.Where did I go wrong? 9 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Has Reduced Me To A Common Trash. by jashar(f): 1:29pm On Feb 26, 2019 |
Mr. Man, from your topic alone, it's obvious you have low self esteem. You need help... I pray you find the help you need. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Has Reduced Me To A Common Trash. by Daeylar(f): 1:34pm On Feb 26, 2019 |
DrTee1 You can quote me I don't bite. ![]() I'm still modifying my post. Will add more examples as I see and will add the monikers of everyone who made those posts. However you did say men are marrying semi professional harlots, Unless the men marrying them are virgins. Then these men are also semi professional harlots. Trying to shame women while acting like men are angels that fell from the sky is what I refer to as misogyny 3 Likes |
Re: My Wife Has Reduced Me To A Common Trash. by Nobody: 1:37pm On Feb 26, 2019 |
DrTee1: The expectation that there are people that are naturally good forever is the illusion that we live in. It is expected that you will find perfect fit that you will be with, for better or for worse. That is not true. You must engineer your environment and relationships to fall in line with how you want your home to be. The music, the ambiens, the arrangement of furnitures everything. I know these to be true and it is what makes a man successful cos how you do one thing is how you do everything. You must understand that epigenetically, your role-playing and acting will at the long run become an active character for anyone who is ready to alter his lifestyle to establish the fantasies as reality. So in essence, my recommendations work perfectly in the Otedolas, Adenugas and Dangotes world, because time is planned at sigma level. Besides, no one has more time than billionaires who have structured calenders to accommodate everything. It might interest you to note that these gentlemen you mentioned do much more than what I explained, and it is the secret to success. Nothing as great as peace at home. When it comes to the massage thing, it is a mandatory part of every billionaire's life. They give massages, they get massages and have an in-house spa with attendant of they desire, but I am saying massage is a daily part of a functional home and I am saying that because I am 100% sure. Take a peek into the life of Tony Elumelu and the rest of the high-flyers that you know, and you will see signatures of what I am telling you here. I do not say this as fantasy but because I know it to be true among the upper-class. I personally have a home spa/sauna and full massage bar with massage attendant and I ensure there is music daily, that home is run like a heaven. I know these things cos I belong to that level that most people will want to be. Yet sometimes I go into that kitchen and be man enough to show that I care. It is how to create heaven on Earth. Give your wife tea on bed. I do, I have given my wife tea on bed this morning and ensure that 8hrs music is streaming on the devices before i leave home. You guys should be ready to put in the work. This world is not a place to joke around. Make your responsibility your routine. 5 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Wife Has Reduced Me To A Common Trash. by DrTee1(m): 1:41pm On Feb 26, 2019 |
Daeylar: ![]() I hope you don't consider it misogyny that I didn't quote you. ![]() I couldn't picture and spell your moniker at the instant I was typing that. Yo are right however. Men have their own share of the immorality before marriage blame and I made no attempt to deny that in my comments. It was quite general, for both genders. Cheers dear. |
Re: My Wife Has Reduced Me To A Common Trash. by holuwamosey(m): 1:43pm On Feb 26, 2019 |
OmoAlata1:ur name fits d way u think wayward fellow 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Has Reduced Me To A Common Trash. by Nobody: 1:45pm On Feb 26, 2019 |
That is why, I don't want to get married and even if I get a job, I am not going to marry anybody, I am keeping my money to myself and I am not sharing it with any woman. I tend to live my life and enjoy it the way I want and no woman and a bunch of kids is going to stop me from doing so. God has already made it clear to me that i am never going to be rich, well I don't mind because I am damn well going to live and enjoy and live my life with the little money I have. Afterall I'm a simple kind of guy, who does not need excess money to live and enjoy life. 5 Likes |
Re: My Wife Has Reduced Me To A Common Trash. by DrTee1(m): 1:51pm On Feb 26, 2019 |
Capensis: OK. I've learnt one new thing today: ![]() By the way, Mrs loves a massage - and I suck at it so badly, not because I'm not medically inclined to understand it, but because we are both tired after the day's work and night bath for me to resume that responsibility before finally sleeping! I guess she'll say a quick prayer for you if she ever gets to see this - the man who convinced Baba to consider massaging a priority. ![]() That said, there are good people in this world. People who are responsibly oriented in thoughts and actions at all times. There are people who are Christians and Muslims (I live by the Christian Faith by the way) or even traditional religious people - who live morally upright lives. Yes. It may be rare, but I've seen it. I also try to live the life. In the western world, it is more common than it is in Black Africa. Ironically, there is less focus on religiosity in the developed world as it is in the significantly-corrupt Black Africa. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Has Reduced Me To A Common Trash. by Daeylar(f): 1:55pm On Feb 26, 2019 |
DrTee1:Nah I consider that sexism ![]() ![]() I couldn't picture and spell your moniker at the instant I was typing that. Lool, it's all right. Yo are right however. Men have their own share of the immorality before marriage blame and I made no attempt to deny that in my comments. But you didn't state that. ![]() It was general, why did you now see the need to state that men are marrying semi professional harlots? Especially since you recognise that male semi professional harlots are marrying female semi professional harlots? Cheers ![]() 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Has Reduced Me To A Common Trash. by baby124: 1:59pm On Feb 26, 2019 |
Oga sincerely, nothing wrong with you washing your hands and taking your plate to the kitchen after eating. You are a full grown adult and not a kid. She already has 3 children she is taking care of. You should try your best to help out around the house, especially when you are not working to show gratitude for the stress she may be goin through to provide. Your ego is hurt because you are out of a job and you are now reading meaning into everything. Please grow up and act like a full grown man. If you think the environment is too toxic then you are free to leave. 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Has Reduced Me To A Common Trash. by Nobody: 1:59pm On Feb 26, 2019 |
Most people are really getting me wrong here.I lost my job but I still have a multi million naira business which I still run,though it hasn't started yielding much. I still run the home and pay all the bills and rent.I've never asked her for money let alone try to know how much she's been paid. I go to market whenever I can for her and also get involved in domestic chores at my own will.I shoulder my responsibilities very well. My wife doesn't like correction or advice. She gets irritated at any slightest provocation,slams the door at me.She looks down on me all the time and will never accept that she's wrong. We can't stay together for a week without having an issue. I only try as much as possible to create my own happiness. 3 Likes |
Re: My Wife Has Reduced Me To A Common Trash. by ThothHermes: 2:00pm On Feb 26, 2019 |
mhd5757:What da heck ![]() How did God make it clear to you? Exactly ![]() Whatever may be said in praise of poverty, the fact remains that one cannot live a truly fulfilling life unless one is rich -- Wallace Wattles. 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Has Reduced Me To A Common Trash. by mercy87(f): 2:00pm On Feb 26, 2019 |
Capensis: Oh my God ..I love this man already. So there are men like this on nairaland. 1 Like |
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