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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Marriage Dilemma (1394 Views)
My Uncle Is In A State Of Dilemma. / Marriage Dilemma / Marriage Dilemma (2) (3) (4)
Marriage Dilemma by jayyem(m): 4:13pm On Mar 05, 2019 |
A friend asked for my advice and I will like to get advise from married couples who must have passed through same circumstances. My friend has been out of job for some time now, shortly after getting married and he has been doing his best to keep the house running, the wife has refused to take up little jobs coming her way and also not serious about learning from numerous handiworks that exists nowaday despite several pleas. Problem now is that my friend just received a grant from his family to start up a biz and the amount given was exatly the amount needed to kickstart the business, while he was busy setting up the business, the wife was busy requesting for money to finance irrelevant materials which is kinda aggravating other issues. At the moment, the marriage has not produced any children after three years of marriage How do you deal with such a woman? |
Re: Marriage Dilemma by lilmax(m): 5:10pm On Mar 05, 2019 |
he married a slay queen |
Re: Marriage Dilemma by Kendumazy(m): 5:20pm On Mar 05, 2019 |
Hmmmm. That's a kind of woman who will hinder the progress of that guy. If the guy is keen on working on the progress of his life. He should move out of the house for now. Just send upkeep funds to her monthly and work on betterment of his life. After about 6 or 7 months. He must have moved the business to atleast a reasonable stage. Let him go back home. Talk to the woman, if after sometime she is still like that, let him just divorce her and move on with his life. For now, no need talking to her to change or exercise patience. He needs to take a drastic step and the drastic step is moving out. The simple truth is that, that lady will never change, she is never going to work. |
Re: Marriage Dilemma by LadySarah: 12:17am On Mar 06, 2019 |
He should carry his cross alone. ![]() ![]() If we say divorce her Or leave home,are we going to live with her? Is it not this same Nl that a guy said he isnt Feeling emotionally attached to a hustling fiancee? He should keep marrying her biko and manage her too because If You force her to do biz,She can sell Everything and lock the shop for You lyk one of My bro's wife did.[center][/center] ![]() 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Marriage Dilemma by frozen70(f): 3:00am On Mar 06, 2019 |
jayyem: Tell him to go ahead and start his business plan and let's see if he can find his bearing As for the wife leave her to continue constituting nuisance in a bad situation If she is satisfied with her idleness and folding hands to watch the husband, he should return her to her parents if he can't stand it Children comes from God but i don't know how they will be able to care for a child 2 Likes |
Re: Marriage Dilemma by mankettle(m): 5:40am On Mar 06, 2019 |
patience is what we use to be a husband. so also is tolerance. he cannot say he didn't see the signs before marriage, maybe he chose to ignore them. now that he is there he just has to double his hustle, and when the kids come maybe triple it. he should look for low stress initiatives for her to do to keep her busy and make small change. and as for the capital for his business, a plain No will do. if she likes make she cry from now till 2023. it's their future he is fighting for. 1 Like |
Re: Marriage Dilemma by jayyem(m): 8:05am On Mar 06, 2019 |
Kendumazy:thanks |
Re: Marriage Dilemma by comtem2011: 8:06am On Mar 06, 2019 |
jayyem:This is even the best time to whatever work she wants to do or learn different skills. By the time she starts having kids, she will hardly have time for herself. But as it is now, it seems she is the lazy type. Sise Koro ,jije lofe. |
Re: Marriage Dilemma by jayyem(m): 8:18am On Mar 06, 2019 |
LadySarah:my friend is actually tending towards depression has he is getting a little bit withdrawn, he actually told her from the onset that he will support her in whatever she chooses to do in life, that he is not the type that subscribe to placing limit on a woman's success, most especially, he is not a fan of house wife thingy, but the opposite is kinda happening. |
Re: Marriage Dilemma by jayyem(m): 8:33am On Mar 06, 2019 |
comtem2011:you just highlighted my friends fears, once they start having children, the excuses will increase |
Re: Marriage Dilemma by jayyem(m): 8:43am On Mar 06, 2019 |
mankettle:it's not as if they didn't agree on some of this things before marriage, but you know what some ladies can do before you deal the deal, he asked her time without numbers what she feels she can easily do just to while away time while still job hunting, she will mention one and resources will be gathered for her to learn but amidst learning, excuses will arise till she decide not to go anymore. |
Re: Marriage Dilemma by mankettle(m): 9:55am On Mar 06, 2019 |
jayyem:then your friend has to hustle more and set up a low stress business for her like a provision store or something. |
Re: Marriage Dilemma by lanibi(f): 10:00am On Mar 06, 2019 |
I think I'll go with the first poster might not be easy tho |
Re: Marriage Dilemma by ExplicitSuccess: 3:26pm On Mar 06, 2019 |
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Re: Marriage Dilemma by danny34(m): 3:39pm On Mar 06, 2019 |
jayyem: Your friend should man up o. If she rejects small jobs coming her way n won't learn work either. Then withhold money from her. She will be forced to get something doing. About asking for money from the grant meant for business, that is not an issue. Let her keep asking. It is d husband who will decide either to use the money as its meant for or give her. For me, even when the business starts, she should not near it. Every man would have to teach his wife what she needs to know. When your friend sits up, the wife will behave |
Re: Marriage Dilemma by danny34(m): 3:42pm On Mar 06, 2019 |
mankettle: If u set up a business for a wife without financial discipline, she will eat it up. That woman needs to work n earn money, that is when she will understand the value of money |
Re: Marriage Dilemma by comtem2011: 6:24pm On Mar 06, 2019 |
danny34:the wife is just been lazy, nothing else. |
Re: Marriage Dilemma by comtem2011: 10:31pm On Mar 06, 2019 |
jayyem:I pray God open her eyes. She needs to pray against the spirit of laziness. She doesn't want to work but want to have d best. Should I even call her ingrate ![]() The husband should keep encouraging her. |
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