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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. (42724 Views)
My Personal Observation About Nigerian "Adults" / What’s The Difference Between Nigerian Marriage Law And The West / Happy marriage Life (pic) (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by Nobody: 4:25pm On Mar 05, 2019 |
error4040:He has no ballz as he is a stupid cheat, he brought all kind of problems upon himself and he run back to Africa losing his green card and closing his way back to America. 2 Likes |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by Nobody: 6:11pm On Mar 05, 2019 |
You know, it's easy to lie and cheat on the people who loves you, who trusts you and who wishes you well and usually cheaters do it because we let them, we forgive them and wish them to be well out of big love but it can't go forever, sooner or later the lies and cheats are discovered, hurt us and we close our doors, our heart but we loved, really loved with all our heart, we got so beautiful emotions and at the end, the bigger loser is the cheater, it's his / her lost. This door is forever closed because of him / her bringing it upon himself / herself. 1 Like |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by error4040: 6:13pm On Mar 05, 2019 |
Angela777:Don't blame him it was Lady Karma that Came knocking ![]() it came for him Whereby his Bag of lies could not Generate new Lies and ended up making him look stupid. 1 Like |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by Nobody: 6:25pm On Mar 05, 2019 |
error4040:I don't, I still love him but I will never be back to him, he doesn't love me and maybe he does as he is saying he loves me, I can't live with a negative person who is destroying himself and also is destroying my life. It is what it is. |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by error4040: 7:45pm On Mar 05, 2019 |
Angela777:Love you ke ![]() did he not mentioned heaven and earth to you before and still kept 3 women I just hope he won't use sweet words and Trap you again. instead just keep telling him you believe him and move on, As your Mentioned earlier your Cousin said "Don't expect someone who is over 30 to change, they are adults they won't change instead they become worse" this is Accurate!! Liars/Cheater don't Change for anyone esp if they are more matured. |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by Nobody: 8:04pm On Mar 05, 2019 |
error4040:You are right, I am hearing your advice and I am not going back, yes, very sweet words and he is saying he loves me so much, words no actions. 1 Like |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by sparkle7: 9:57pm On Mar 05, 2019 |
Angela777:okay Mum am sorry. 1 Like |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by Nobody: 1:29am On Mar 06, 2019 |
sparkle7:OK, thank you. And I am sorry too if any of my writing offended you. |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by peacefull(f): 3:13am On Mar 06, 2019 |
sparkle7: Thank you so much. I appreciate you. I asked him about bride price. He doesn't pay means maybe our marriage is not count in Nigeria. But he said No. Because I'm not Nigerian and we did paper work in Nigerian embassy. So we are also married in Nigeria that what he said. I also don't know about Japanese Yen to Nigeria Naira. He said twice or three times. |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by peacefull(f): 4:03am On Mar 06, 2019 |
Angela777: Thank you so much. I appreciate you. I'm so sorry for your experience ![]() Your ex husband is heartless man ![]() But when someone in love that person so much, very difficult to leave. Because still wanna trust. Everybody can make mistake. Not always bad. Shared good times and bad times together. Everythings are good memories. Because after some time, talking and laughing together about when had really so bad times in the past. Bad times can be good old days. One year by one year getting old together. Not easy to forget about loved one. I really hope you are not so much in hurt now. I really hope you are getting fine now. Sometimes love is really so hurt. Love can make someone very strong. Also can make so weak. But I believe love is always beautiful. For family, for friends, for partner etc... Always beautiful. But sometimes really so hurt. Maybe my problem is now I can't think he is bad person or bad husband and if he is married in Nigeria because of culture or his family, I can't think his fault. I think maybe that is my problem. Very confusing ![]() How can I find out if he is already married or not. Only check his phone? Can I get some paper from Nigeria? |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by sparkle7: 7:44am On Mar 06, 2019 |
peacefull:When he comes back to Japan. Ask him why he didnt take you to his Parents for marriage blessings. For any marriage to count in Igbo culture, your parents and his parents must meet. Then blessings are given for the marriage by both parents. If this is not done, it is possible that his parents never knew that he married over there in Japan. He might even tell them that you are just a friend. Ask him if he told his Parents, brothers, sisters and kinsmen that he already married in Japan. I might be wrong so don't take my words to heart. Just saying you should make him tell you the whole truth. He is very tricky. A marriage where couples are not truthful to themselves may not stand. A time will come when he will fly back home and will never come back. Pardon me to say that. Unless he really loves you that much that his conscience will judge him. Karma might also come for him if he dares to. But I swear, you Japanese love too much. So drunk with love. Well am not Married so I dont really know what love means. Are you on Facebook you can add me up. 1 Like |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by sparkle7: 9:02am On Mar 06, 2019 |
peacefull:Hell no! That is not our culture. Our culture forbids having 2 wives. And especially if the wives dont know that they are married to the same man. If you want to know if he has a wife then do any of the following. >> Tell him you want to check his contacts and messages. If he has nothing to hide, he should give it to you willingly. But if he got some bad things he is hiding, he will refuse. Then maybe delete those chat or messages before giving it to you. Now if he agrees, Hurray! You are ready to know the truth. Messages is more revealing than contacts. Just make it romantic, sit with him and scroll through his messages together. Ask him questions like who is this guy? Point to a chat he had and say ' who is that lady? ' then watch his reaction. He might start stammering or take a long silence before answering. That means he is trying to cook up a lie to tell you. >> Next go through his Gallery. Say you wanna see his handsome pictures. Then go through every picture. If you see any lady picture ask him funny and witty ' Who is that beautiful lady? ' >> Use some Psychology tricks on him. Its all over the internet. Or maybe reverse-psychology but i doubt that would work. >> Next thing you can try is pretending you know that truth about his nigerian wife by saying after a cool evening. You: I know you married Amaka. Now tell me, how many kids did you guys have? >> He will of course deny that. >> Just say with a smile: ' I already know the truth ' stand immediately and leave, go do some chores pretending you never just had a conversation. Dont raise up the issue again for the mean time. Make sure you do this with Seriousness and a little touch of cheerfulness. >> Now what you are doing is trying to build up Suspense. In His mind if guilty, he will ask himself ' What truth does she know? Have she found out? Did my friend spill the beans to her? Who told her? ' >> He might go to you in the kitchen and ask ' What do you know? ' or ' What truth are you talking about? ' or ' What exactly are you talking about? ' If he ask you this, just know that he is feeling guilty but want to hear how you knew he had a wife. >> If he is not guilty. He might try to reveal that he never had a wife by saying ' I swear I didnt marry in Nigeria ' or ' You are the only woman am married to ' thats it. You have your answers. Note: amaka is a general and widely used igbo Female name. He will be shocked that you know this. And if he is guilty, he will be more shocked that you already know a lot about his background. And that can destabilize him. >> Next thing you do is make friends with his Nigerian friends. Now when i Mean make Friends, I mean very tight/close friends. Females preferably if any. Nigerian females are quite good talkatives and cant keep a secret. Chances are that they say the truth unknowingly when conversing with you. If its a male be sure he is cormfortable chatting with you. Then when you have built enough rapport with him, ask him the question. >> Ask him like you know already, something like ' Sure <INSERT HIS NAME> married a fine lady in Nigeria. Is she so beautiful? ' Now this is much better than asking questions that don't gets mono answers like ' did David marry in Nigeria?' His response would be Yes or No. Which is not that helpful and of course they would always deny to protect their friend. Be careful dont ever Nag him |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by error4040: 11:31am On Mar 06, 2019 |
sparkle7:hehe ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by Feraz(m): 1:53pm On Mar 06, 2019 |
nurey:The bolded, apart from the reason you have given, I also think it has to do with their work nature. Many will rather work and even die from overwork (karoshi) to make ends meet for the family than decide to have more kids; also, not leaving out the fact that many work far away from home. This has led to the govt. encouraging some social activities (karaoke nights or so) in many workplaces to bring back that social culture and counter the aging population. As for the first bolded, you are absolutely right, especially if you didn't start the anime when it began and have to watch about 300 episodes. That's the reason I am yet to watch Bleach or One Piece. Can't believe I followed from page 1 till the end. See better wife and I am here looking for a Japanese waifu. ![]() Peacefull, hope it's all been settled with him? |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by nurey(m): 2:15pm On Mar 06, 2019 |
Feraz: Thanks for the explanation. But Japan is a developed economy even if work place is far I believe they have trains for purpose of conveying citizens from villages to city to work on like lagos that we sit inside holdup to and from work. Also the aging population according to statistics is a decline in marriage in Japan, meaning a greater percentage of the young population don't marry, Is it because the guys are shy to woo women or they are immune from sexual urge hormones. I know they have a vibrant porn industry I hope that's not how the relieve themselves. The bleach also has some manga episodes after the 320 anime. As one grows old you become tired of watching TV hours on a go while other aspects of your life suffer. |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by ExplicitSuccess: 3:21pm On Mar 06, 2019 |
Have you made a mistake recently and you are looking for how best to apologize in a professional way? Look no more! I will tell you how to go about it. There are no doubts that we are all humans and we are bound to make some mistakes once in a while but the question is; how do you apologize after you have made that mistake? https://explicitsuccess.com/how-to-apologize-for-a-mistake-professionally/ |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by peacefull(f): 5:04pm On Mar 06, 2019 |
sparkle7: Thank you so much. I'm appreciate you. He is in Japan now. I think his family know he married with me. He wanted me to talk with his Mom before. But I couldn't. That is my big mistake. Japan is same about man's parents and woman's parents must meet. I still don't know his parents face ![]() This is very sad. I can do something for his parents is just buy small small gift when he go to Nigeria. I have not enough money. So I can't do everytime. But when I can do, I just try it. Too much love? I think if don't have love, can't be together when bad times come. If have love, small small things can laughing together. Even when having bad times, still can share small good things and can put smile on face for each other. I'm sorry. I'm not using Facebook. In fact, I'm scary internet. But I'm using only this Website. |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by peacefull(f): 5:46pm On Mar 06, 2019 |
sparkle7: Thank you so much. I'm really appreciate you. I'm sorry for if I'm misunderstanding your culture. If I made you feel bad, I'm really sorry. I had ask him about if he is married in Nigeria many times. Not angry. Not mad. Not shouting. I'm keeping calm down and smile when I told him. I'm always talk like I know it. Because many peoples taught me many things. I'm always keeping it in my mind. I'm really appreciate. I explained him how much strange our marriage and his doing is he has wife in Nigeria. But he always said No and that is my mindset. His wife is only me. Then I also asked him why he likes to make me suffering. He said No. He never meant to suffer me and he can't. Why I said culture is if his family want him to marry with Nigerian woman and have kids with her, I can understand that. I don't want. But if his parents or uncle and aunt, anybody who is elder person can't accept me, I can understand. I really want him to tell me the truth if he is married in Nigeria. I wanna trust him. But little bit difficult to me now. I have no strength for nag him now. We are separate living now. We shouldn't have quarrel. Everyone supposed to have relax time in the house. Supposed to be peaceful and comfortable place. We can't have enough time for stay together now. So We have to have good time. Talking and laughing together and make comfortable. We are trying it. So I can't nag him now. I'm done that when I was young ![]() |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by Nobody: 5:47pm On Mar 06, 2019 |
Under civil law, Nigeria does not recognize polygamous unions. However, 12 out of the 36 Nigerian states recognize polygamous marriages as being equivalent to monogamous marriages. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polygamy_in_Nigeria Polygamy in Iboland (South-Eastern Nigeria) With special reference to polygamy practice among Christian Ibos Edmund O. Egboh Civilisations https://www.jstor.org/stable/41229235 One Man, Many Wives. The Truth About Modern Day Polygamy in Nigeria - Family - Nairaland https://www.nairaland.com/3505446/one-man-many-wives-truth |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by peacefull(f): 5:51pm On Mar 06, 2019 |
Feraz: Not yet. I'm very confusing. Thank you so much. I appreciate you. I didn't know many Nigerian peoples like Anime ![]() My husband don't like it ![]() |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by peacefull(f): 5:58pm On Mar 06, 2019 |
ExplicitSuccess: I'm sorry. What do you mean? When I made mistake and when I realized that is my mistake, I'm always apologize for that person from all of my heart. I should apologize for my husband about doubt him? Anyway, Thank you so much. I appreciate you. |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by peacefull(f): 6:01pm On Mar 06, 2019 |
Angela777: Thank you so much!! I will check it. I'm really appreciate you. |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by Nobody: 6:24pm On Mar 06, 2019 |
sparkle7:sparkle7, you try but as I see, you don't have a marriage experience, neither the Nigerian - Foreigner marriage experience. Many Nigerians tell you about love all the foreign spouse wish to hear and many say NO, I am not married in Nigeria yet many are just lies, in the mind of a Nigerian money comes first and means justify the end. And they lie easy to a foreign spouse because to them is not a real marriage, it's a business and using a foreign spouse for better living for them, for their family and for their Nigerian spouse and kids. sparkle7, you try to cover up this kind of practice but it does exist widely and it's so common to a Nigerian man to say she is my maga, my atm machine, my business. Many Nigerians appreciate very much their Nigerian queens, pay dowry to marry her, support her in everything but at the same time they treat a foreign wife as their maid, make her work, get her money for himself and his Nigerian queen, many think about the foreign wife as no human, just a tool to use for to live better. Sorry but it's the truth, so many stories all over the internet, even young beautiful foreign women are fooled by Nigerian husbands, even having mixed race children, the Nigerian man usually goes back to his Nigerian queen and kids with her. And yes, there is the common practice, Nigerian men aging go back to Nigeria and live there, that's why they usually build the house in Nigeria for him to live there when he is old. building his house using the help the foreign wife provides to him and usually the foreign wife doesn't know anything about it and only realizes years after the fact. 1 Like |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by Nobody: 6:28pm On Mar 06, 2019 |
‘My Husband Went Back To Nigeria To Wed A Secret New Wife’ – British Woman Tracy Akingbogun Reveals https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uojkc7KJHM4&t=240s Read the comments. 1 Like |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by Nobody: 6:37pm On Mar 06, 2019 |
peacefull:You are fine and you are a very polite lady. Nigerian wives are yelling and even beating their husbands, cheating lots too, many Nigerian men raise kids thinking they are his and when they do the DNA test, kids are not his. Nigerian women are not submissive unless it is in a very small village tribe style living. And if a Nigerian man brings his Nigerian wife to the developed country, she is much more aggressive and cheats on him financially kicking him out of his house and getting all his money. Nigerian women abroad are more bitches than foreign women just because for them it's all about how much money she can get. Nigerian culture is all about money and how to get more no matter what, no matter love and marriage. Dear, don't blame yourself and don't let your husband to say it is your fault. You try to have the real good marriage based on genuine love and if he is not a fool, he will try to be with you forever. The women like you are not too many in the world. I hope he is smart enough and never loses you. Why are you living apart now? If you wish, give me his name in Facebook and his real name by email and I can do the research for you. |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by error4040: 10:55am On Mar 07, 2019 |
peacefull: This is like Kettle calling a Pot Black. Reason is All of us here advising you believe Your husband is also Practicing same Method. peacefull:This is not the Case of Culture or Family, Your husband is just been Greedy and selfish. there is a full plate of Sushi in Japan which he is unable to Finish instead his Greed and Longer throat is Eying Afang soup with swallow down in Nigeria. You always Mention It is not his fault that you don't know if you're the cause of the problem, is their something you're not telling Us ?. |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by keepingmum: 11:58am On Mar 07, 2019 |
Angela777: Angela you really need to stop painting Nigerian women as evil...Nobody has painted Americans and British men as vile and evil when they misbehave.....JUST STOP IT. If Nigerians are so bad, pray tell what are you still doing associating with nigerians or even commenting a forum predominantly tailored towards Nigerians and Nigeria? When you had issues with your ex and was initially seeking answers years back, i was one of those who advised you that he is probably married and everyone rallied round you. How many nigerians have you seen on this particular post praising the Op's spouse? We all condemn his actions....that you had a bad experience with 2 nigerians doesnt mean an entire nation of almost 200million are bad eggs.. We can all sit her and comment on how trailer trash, vile, loose and uncouth American women are after watching a bit of 90 days fiance, or Real housewives or Jerry Springer but we dont!! IF you cant pass your message (which you already have btw) without making negative conclusions with no statistical figures to back up your claims please GET OUTTTTTTTTTT of this forum..... Mtshewwwwww 1 Like |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by peacefull(f): 5:21pm On Mar 07, 2019 |
Angela777: My husband don't say my fault. But when I had quarrel with him, I was always feel like my fault. I didn't like that. So many times I asked him why he always talk like he is a perfect man and everything is my bad. But now We don't have quarrel like before. I don't feel like that. Thank you for caring me. I'm appreciate you. His work place is very far now. That's why We are separate living. |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by peacefull(f): 5:57pm On Mar 07, 2019 |
error4040: I don't know how to explain well. I don't meant defend him. But maybe how my explain is sound like defending him. I'm not a liar. I just telling what is my thinking and my past with him. I think I wrote about how I was a bad wife. I don't know if I'm a good wife or bad wife now. He could choose rich woman. He could choose someone who have no kid. He could choose smart woman. He had a lot of choice to marry with someone. But he married with me. He already has permanent visa. He could dump me when he got it. Anytime He can dump me. He can live and work in Japan without me. But he still with me. He maybe not good husband. But I can't think he is a bad person. Before When I told him what I don't like how he treat me.He said I don't know real bad husband. He told me I have no brain. That's why I don't know anything like Why he still with me. I'm already not like before when I joined here. I think I'm little bit moved. If I made you feel bad because of I said culture. I'm very sorry. I never meant insult for Nigerian cultures. I'm sorry. |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by armyofone(m): 6:42pm On Mar 07, 2019 |
Catholic Reverend Father (Fada) some of them secretly have wife and fathered a child. You said your husband is a catholic. It comes down to selfish human nature! Stay peaceful. peacefull: 1 Like |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by error4040: 7:04pm On Mar 07, 2019 |
keepingmum: Preach sister!!! PREACH! Her own case is even some how better and Different. what will you say about this ones Abysmal bullcràp she had been saying up and down as if we don't know about that 90 days Fiancé which did involved white Americans in General. But NO her Hypocritical and Bigoted belief won't Allow her ![]() ![]() Yeye de smell! Tellemall: |
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What I Did To My Mother-in-law / This Is Why Men Can Never Tolerate Their Wives Cheating On Them. / 16yrs After, Mum Secretly Flies To Nigeria To Surprise Daughter On Her Birthday
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