bdchange:

I don't know how you created this unimaginable ideology in your head about ladies home and abroad. So you chose to believe that there are no good ladies anywhere you reside. Well I want to tell you that you are wrong and can get a good lady if you place yourself in the position to meet a good lady in abroad or here in naira.

I was genuinely baffled. See how the men here are saying rubbish about Nigerian women. If you look closely and investigate, you will discover that many of these diasporan men have their own issues too.

Fact is there are many well brought Nigerian women, both home based and abroad. Someone who will marry a diasporan man and goes over there to change already has the propensity to, not because she has been exposed to Western feminist ideologies. You need prayer and divine guidance to weed out the wolves in sheep clothing, both male and female.

All these unnecessary casting shows a high level of ignorance and bias against Nigerian women

Ishilove:

I was genuinely baffled. See how the men here are saying rubbish about Nigerian women. If you look closely and investigate, you will discover that many of these diasporan men have their own issues too.

Fact is there are many well brought Nigerian women, both home based and abroad. Someone who will marry a diasporan man and goes over there to change already has the propensity to, not because she has been exposed to Western feminist ideologies. You need prayer and divine guidance to weed out the wolves in sheep clothing, both male and female.

All these unnecessary casting shows a high level of ignorance and bias against Nigerian women

Thank you, read through the thread and all I did was SMH.

Ishilove:

On the flip side, we have abroad born and raised Nigerian women who have shown their partners hell. This shows that it is the individuals not the location they were raised that can determine the success of a marriage. This and the grace of God.

That is it. It's the individuals not the location or being born or raised abroad. A marriage dat won't work won't work, nothing to do with location. D stories we hear on Nairaland abt abroad Naija women showing their partners hell are only a handful. There r many successful marriages wit good humble hardworking Naija abroad women but we don't hear abt these ones on Nairaland or social media. It's the bad ones bloggers post on social media to tarnish their image. By the way , to be fair it's not a woman thing. either d man or woman can show their partners hell in the home but like u said n like i agree it's an individual thing not an abroad thing. Look at d failed marriages in Nigeria we read abt on Nairaland or women splitting from their baby daddies to become baby mammas in Nigeria. Truth is a marriage dat won't work won't work. Key is to be prayerful in order to meet ur person

TaminaliaCatapa:
This has been worrisome abeg, I don’t like the idea of bringing any gf from Naija come marry, they mess up real bad.

The Naija girls wey dem born abroad sef, they ain’t any way different from foreigners wey go dey tell you to start sharing house chores 50:50 with dem. There is nothing bad if I do those chores in my own volition, but making it a duty for me is a no-no.

Reason why I cant marry white is obvious, the very immediate point I just made up there, some won’t even let you take your kids back to naija coz it’s shîthole

Please, if you are a
1. Naija married man in a foreign land
2. Didn’t marry here in naija but abroad

How did you get married and what type of woman is she.


Please we wanna learn

my dear u need to change ur mind set, if love is about sharing nd caring, den wox d big deal in helping out, Well I won't blame any lady dat decides to take on such decision bcus men re not worth it. Just open ur heart nd let love leads.

Yuugen:
That is it. It's the individuals not the location or being born or raised abroad. A marriage dat won't work won't work, nothing to do with location. D stories we hear on Nairaland abt abroad Naija women showing their partners hell are only a handful. There r many successful marriages wit good humble hardworking Naija abroad women but we don't hear abt these ones on Nairaland or social media. It's the bad ones bloggers post on social media to tarnish their image. By the way , to be fair it's not a woman thing. either d man or woman can show their partners hell in the home but like u said n like i agree it's an individual thing not an abroad thing. Look at d failed marriages in Nigeria we read abt on Nairaland or women splitting from their baby daddies to become baby mammas in Nigeria. Truth is a marriage dat won't work won't work. Key is to be prayerful in order to meet ur person

Marital success stories is not hot news. Imagine these stories back to back on Nairaland FP-

"Our love still going on strong after 3 years marriage"

And

"Man breaks wife's head on wedding anniversary"

Or

"My wife cheated on me after 3 years of marriage"

Be honest. Which one would you click on first?

Ishilove:

I was genuinely baffled. See how the men here are saying rubbish about Nigerian women. If you look closely and investigate, you will discover that many of these diasporan men have their own issues too.

Fact is there are many well brought Nigerian women, both home based and abroad. Someone who will marry a diasporan man and goes over there to change already has the propensity to, not because she has been exposed to Western feminist ideologies. You need prayer and divine guidance to weed out the wolves in sheep clothing, both male and female.

All these unnecessary casting shows a high level of ignorance and bias against Nigerian women

Gbam, gbammer, gbammest. I'm doing school ind fall. When it's time for me to settle n am looking now, am going to look for a lady here. Better to find a lady i can study n know at my reach than go to Naija n marry one pretending girl who will now come here n change it for me

Ishilove:

Marital success stories is not hot news. Imagine these stories back to back on Nairaland FP-

"Our love still going on strong after 3 years marriage"

And

"Man breaks wife's head on wedding anniversary"

Or

"My wife cheated on me after 3 years of marriage"

Be honest. Which one would you click on first?

lol

Yuugen:
Gbam, gbammer, gbammest. I'm doing school ind fall. When it's time for me to settle n am looking now, am going to look for a lady here. Better to find a lady i can study n know at my reach than go to Naija n marry one pretending girl who will now come here n change it for me

Not by your power, not by your might, but by the grace of God

Hmmm...interesting. You need to clear your mind of certain misconceptions or you will never find what you are hoping for. Where did you get it that Americsn women expect 50:50 house chores? You need to socialize with American women ...you will learn a lot. Nigerian women that have the same misconception as you are the ones likely to have that expectation if you marry them... the ones that are likely to change when abroad.
If you find a woman that will do alllll the house chores.... as is traditional.... and you chip in when you feel like..... would you also be traditional and solely be the provider?....allowing her to remain at home and not work? Then what happens if for some reason you can no longer provide? .... and she looks outside the home fornsupport?.... will that bring you back to square one?...that Nigerian women cannot be trusted?...and get caught up?

Yuugen:
That is it. It's the individuals not the location or being born or raised abroad. A marriage dat won't work won't work, nothing to do with location. D stories we hear on Nairaland abt abroad Naija women showing their partners hell are only a handful. There r many successful marriages wit good humble hardworking Naija abroad women but we don't hear abt these ones on Nairaland or social media. It's the bad ones bloggers post on social media to tarnish their image. By the way , to be fair it's not a woman thing. either d man or woman can show their partners hell in the home but like u said n like i agree it's an individual thing not an abroad thing. Look at d failed marriages in Nigeria we read abt on Nairaland or women splitting from their baby daddies to become baby mammas in Nigeria. Truth is a marriage dat won't work won't work. Key is to be prayerful in order to meet ur person

so basically you are removing the fact that environment plays a big role in marriage, so how come, Nigerian women, once abroad will start talking low by saying words like Nigerian mentality, African mentality, they will infact tell african men to leave their african mentality in africa.

Ishilove:

I was genuinely baffled. See how the men here are saying rubbish about Nigerian women. If you look closely and investigate, you will discover that many of these diasporan men have their own issues too.

Fact is there are many well brought Nigerian women, both home based and abroad. Someone who will marry a diasporan man and goes over there to change already has the propensity to, not because she has been exposed to Western feminist ideologies. You need prayer and divine guidance to weed out the wolves in sheep clothing, both male and female.

All these unnecessary casting shows a high level of ignorance and bias against Nigerian women

no prayer and divine guidance can weed out wolves in sheep clothing, we are not in heaven rather on earth

are you trying to take away the fact that environment can also have an influence in marriage, once a woman starts listening to feminists view like it is the gospel truth, so you think it will not influence her thinking?

pansophist:
The kind of wife you are looking for will be hard to find in the US (and the west in general). South America, Eastern Europe, Africa and Asia are places you will find women who uphold traditional female qualities and won't expect domestic input from you. As a corollary, you will be required to fulfil traditional masculine duties, especially understanding that bringing home the bacon is solely your duty.

Furthermore, any country that has undergone mainstream feminism tends to withers traditional women of which you seek, as they are looked down upon as people suffering from internalized misogyny. Women in the west generally are into career building, placing it above family. I am not married (still in my 20's), albeit, my ex-employer, friends and many Dutch people I know (I live in the Netherlands) actually prefer women from the aforementioned countries, solely for the same reasons you espouse.

Intelligent. Are you acidosis?

UyaiIncomparabl:


Intelligent. Are you acidosis?

No. I'm pansophist. You're welcome

Its not a must u must marry a nigerian girl. Just marry whatever girl that catches ur fancy on whatever foreign country u located in.

lefulefu:
Its not a must u must marry a nigerian girl. Just marry whatever girl that catches ur fancy on whatever foreign country u located in.

lol.. No try am.. Catches your fancy.. before you go marry tranny ...

pansophist:


No. I'm pansophist. You're welcome

Okay. You both possess the same writing style.

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
Go get a village girl.

Those village girls learn quick ....soon they will be packing their bags and moving out. See it often enough.

MissRaine69:

Those village girls learn quick ....soon they will be packing their bags and moving out. See it often enough.

He could get the one that truly loves him.

TaminaliaCatapa:
This has been worrisome abeg, I don’t like the idea of bringing any gf from Naija come marry, they mess up real bad.

The Naija girls wey dem born abroad sef, they ain’t any way different from foreigners wey go dey tell you to start sharing house chores 50:50 with dem. There is nothing bad if I do those chores in my own volition, but making it a duty for me is a no-no.

Reason why I cant marry white is obvious, the very immediate point I just made up there, some won’t even let you take your kids back to naija coz it’s shîthole

Please, if you are a
1. Naija married man in a foreign land
2. Didn’t marry here in naija but abroad

How did you get married and what type of woman is she.


Please we wanna learn

Ok allow me to explore a few things with you here. A lot of things that are the norm in Nigeria will not apply in the west.
If you both work long hours surely, you don’t expect her to do everything and what do you mean do chores “ on your own volition” how often will that manifest itself?
You have to be a bit open minded here or you will forever be disappointed.
Regardless of that women’s race and ethnic origin she will tire of that approach that you are seeking.
It might start well, but she will interact with others and enlightenment will ensue and then you will have problems.
Maybe you need to readjust a few things, be prepared to work towards some middle ground instead of “it’s a no no” there is hope for you yet.

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
He could get the one that truly loves him.

So it has nothing to do with the fact that he is looking for a subordinate then?

MissRaine69:

So it has nothing to do with the fact that he is looking for a subordinate then?

No. I think he wants respect and loyalty

pansophist:
The kind of wife you are looking for will be hard to find in the US (and the west in general). South America, Eastern Europe, Africa and Asia are places you will find women who uphold traditional female qualities and won't expect domestic input from you. As a corollary, you will be required to fulfil traditional masculine duties, especially understanding that bringing home the bacon is solely your duty.

Furthermore, any country that has undergone mainstream feminism tends to withers traditional women of which you seek, as they are looked down upon as people suffering from internalized misogyny. Women in the west generally are into career building, placing it above family. I am not married (still in my 20's), albeit, my ex-employer, friends and many Dutch people I know (I live in the Netherlands) actually prefer women from the aforementioned countries, solely for the same reasons you espouse.

He seeks a woman whom he does not see as a threat
Even in the continents that you mention his disposition also matters. She might be “tradional” but that does not mean she has to be subservient.

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
No. I think he wants respect and loyalty

Not from that post

MissRaine69:

He seeks a woman whom he does not see as a threat
Even in the continents that you mention his disposition also matters. She might be “tradional” but that does not mean she has to be subservient.

so what is wrong with seeking a woman that is not a threat, i dont know why you trying hard to change the narrative that he is looking for a slave.

a woman is not a threat if she fulfills her traditional role of what it means to be feminine and a woman, no man wants a masculine woman around him

Still observing

Ishilove:

I was genuinely baffled. See how the men here are saying rubbish about Nigerian women. If you look closely and investigate, you will discover that many of these diasporan men have their own issues too.

Fact is there are many well brought Nigerian women, both home based and abroad. Someone who will marry a diasporan man and goes over there to change already has the propensity to, not because she has been exposed to Western feminist ideologies. You need prayer and divine guidance to weed out the wolves in sheep clothing, both male and female.

All these unnecessary casting shows a high level of ignorance and bias against Nigerian women

tank uu

MissRaine69:

Not from that post

that is what he wants and stop changing the story

he wants a woman who is respectful and loyal and that is everyman dream

wetdick:


that is what he wants and stop changing the story

he wants a woman who is respectful and loyal and that is everyman dream

Anyone else I would engage with ...not you

wetdick:


that is what he wants and stop changing the story

he wants a woman who is respectful and loyal and that is everyman dream

Such kind of women are not hard to come by.

Treat her well with love and care , she will be loyal .
Be supportive and don't make her feel less of herself , she will do same .

Its not hard to locate . it depends on the kind of crowd around him.

Charelsz:
whatever you do, make sure that you avoid Nigeria home based girls.

Charelsz:
whatever you do, make sure that you avoid Nigeria home based girls.

My Malaysian ex,( Punjabi) was something else tho we couldn't marry for racial reasons from her family. She was a manager in a radio station but will sweep, wash my clothes,clean toilets n bathroom but all she couldn't do was cook and I ended up teaching her how to cook African food

dingbang:
lol.. No try am.. Catches your fancy.. before you go marry tranny ...

u go do ur investigation nau . Who go jus jump enter marry woman wey im see without investigating first.

rex444:
My Malaysian ex,( Punjabi) was something else tho we couldn't marry for racial reasons from her family. She was a manager in a radio station but will sweep, wash my clothes,clean toilets n bathroom but all she couldn't do was cook and I ended up teaching her how to cook African food

we always think our food is so difficult to cook but there are foreign women wey don sabi cook our food pass anything.