Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? - Romance (9) - Nairaland
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Women Whose Husbands Live Abroad, How Do You Satisfy Yourself / Nigerian Men Abroad Coming Home To Marry; My Take / Nigerian Men Abroad Takes A Transgender Woman Home Mistakenly (2) (3) (4)
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| Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by greenprince(m): 12:32am On Mar 12, 2019 |
victorian: Ah Ah, not all Naija men abeg. I know most are not worth it and I agree because I've seen them but there are still some that are different. People easily assume I'm a playboy maybe because of my dress sense, trimmed beard or looks but deep down I am the exact opposite and I know other guys like that. Even if women throw themselves at them, they know they can't deal with a woman that cheats so they themselves will keep off women till it's time for marriage. Good men still exist, so let the brother prove himself. |
| Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by bezimo(m): 12:33am On Mar 12, 2019 |
lefulefu: Na the pattern of 9ja girls wey come over as wife be that..thats not an isolated case..them many like that for Atlanta, Georgia..i can tell you with all confidence that it is a trend very high among igbo girls brought over to yankee. 8 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by Elliot2(m): 12:33am On Mar 12, 2019 |
bdchange:bro,don't make this look like there ain't no problem here; look, there is a real problem with most of the naija brought up women. 2 Likes |
| Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by BuddhaPalm(m): 12:35am On Mar 12, 2019 |
wetdick: I can assure you, you can't "groom" anyone. 4 Likes |
| Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by Nobody: 12:36am On Mar 12, 2019 |
BaaleOko:dude don't you even think of coming back home to marrying anybody, you are in U.S right? marry from from there, or better yet marry a Naija girl based there ,or marry White lady. 7 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by greenprince(m): 12:38am On Mar 12, 2019 |
MummyE: Where are they please? No offense but most Nigerian girls I see here are something else. Drink, smoke, party like crazy, jump from bed to bed that their stories even leak on social media. The guys are not any better, I can't lie about that too. I think it's complete moral decadence all round. If I vex, I'll just check into a monastery and pray away my remaining days because my Lord knows I can't handle a cheat or such heartbreak. I might do something way too crazy. 4 Likes |
| Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by bezimo(m): 12:41am On Mar 12, 2019 |
aswani: 100% truth.I hope guys note this fact. 3 Likes |
| Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by greenprince(m): 12:41am On Mar 12, 2019 |
MummyE: |
| Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by InvertedHammer: 12:45am On Mar 12, 2019 |
TaminaliaCatapa:/ That's the cross you have to bear. Your mindset is right. Cross out anything about going to Nigeria to look for a bride. Visa lottery is no more in effect. You are the bridge. There are many born and bred Nigerian ladies but you have to search for them. Once you meet one, you will meet many of them bc they seem to know one another. The closer she is to 30, the better. But to import anyone...Hell to the freaking No!!! / 3 Likes |
| Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by uuzba(m): 12:46am On Mar 12, 2019 |
lefulefu:Nigeria is a country with very watery values. |
| Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by clemmonce(m): 12:49am On Mar 12, 2019 |
GreenWhiteGreen:100% true |
| Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by MummyE(f): 12:52am On Mar 12, 2019 |
greenprince: No one is perfect truly and no one deserves to be emotionaly l hurt I can tell u someone who Is so decent at 31. I mean over decent and a strong Catholic by faith But has been heartbroken because she is slim and not busty And yet I see people complain there are no good girls around.. some men have myopic perspective to the kind of ladies they want. Some are attracted by the big boob's and breast forgetting character plays a bigger role in marriage or dating. Some say go for younger girls because they are fertile buh end up with promiscuous ones.. Men u guys are your problem truly always insatiable 1 Like |
| Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by Nobody: 12:52am On Mar 12, 2019 |
kongolo:my brother I tire for these people. You see them complain that marriage takes hard work and effort. Marriage is difficult, yet they still indulge in it and add it to other difficulties in life. E be like say them use difficulties swear for all of them. 2 Likes |
| Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by Nobody: 12:53am On Mar 12, 2019 |
cococandy:op take this lady for example, she was once a Naija home base girl. look at how she turns out , she's now westernized than the westerns women themselves  11 Likes |
| Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by Nobody: 12:54am On Mar 12, 2019 |
Eyaa..lots of wrong generalization here. I know quite a number of good Nigerian ladies that can make good wives; loyal, submissive, spiritually inclined, well educated and beautiful too but they're mostly not outgoing making it difficult for guys to meet them. Anyways, you guys deserve all the wicked ladies you've been meeting cos when you meet the ones that are loyal to a fault, you start taking advantage of them, so enjoy your karishikas and stop lamenting biko. 14 Likes |
| Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by Nobody: 12:56am On Mar 12, 2019 |
MummyE:he should marry from where he is based, no need to come back home and marry. 4 Likes |
| Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by MummyE(f): 12:57am On Mar 12, 2019 |
[color=#006600][/color] destinyy23: Whoever you are remain blessed.. U really spoke my mind |
| Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by Tobimillar1(m): 1:01am On Mar 12, 2019 |
This is a really tough situation for Nigerians. Lemme speak for Nigerians here in Chicago. Many young Nigerian guys here don’t have papers. What that means is they are forced to either marry an akata or find a Nigerian who is a citizen. An akata gives you the advantage of divorcing a couple of years later and come home to pick a Nigerian girl of your choice . But naija babe for here know too much already. They no wan cook , clean or do anything . 4 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by Nobody: 1:05am On Mar 12, 2019 |
MummyE:Remain blessed too ma'am. |
| Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by Nobody: 1:06am On Mar 12, 2019 |
TaminaliaCatapa:find a decent girl in whatever country you're located and marry her, coming back home to marry Naija home based girl, is a suicide mission don't even think about it.2 Likes |
| Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by Nobody: 1:07am On Mar 12, 2019 |
@OP....Home based don cast. You no dey see how naija men dey complain for romance section? We wey be home based niggas dey tell you say the only reason why we dey date naija girls currently na because na only naija girls dey nigeria. If ladies from other nationalities dey nigeria, trust me, naija ladies go date themselves. Our homebased women are parasitic and have this nonsense sense of entitlement. If you must marry an African, go far West (Liberia), East (Ethiopia) or south of Africa.... Just take money and tour these countries and see how their ladies and beautiful and well mannered..... Run away from home based naija women. If you don't take this advice and you end up dead because of their wickedness and infidelity, rest in peace! 6 Likes |
| Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by Boss13: 1:11am On Mar 12, 2019 |
This is a good topic for young men. Marriage should be planned. Forget love. My advice on this is quite straightforward. Muslim have strong traditions and are heavily grounded. Many Muslims don’t believe or support this nonsense feminism wave. If you are indeed searching for a wife abroad, go to a Mosque predominantly Nigerian, confront the Imam and express your wishes. Please note I’m not a Muslim but I have noticed Muslim women don’t get carried away because of their religion. 3 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by Nobody: 1:12am On Mar 12, 2019 |
highcollide:  I agree op stay away from Naija home based girls.2 Likes |
| Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by Nobody: 1:17am On Mar 12, 2019 |
chymevicks:Naija home based girls are crooks, marry your Swedish gf,don't you even dream of coming back to marry Naija home based girl. NB and I hope you marry your Sweden gf because of love and not papers 4 Likes |
| Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by Elliot2(m): 1:20am On Mar 12, 2019 |
khiaa:u ended up crediting his point about black Americans. 1 Like |
| Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by Nobody: 1:22am On Mar 12, 2019 |
Definitely a fp-worthy thread. 1 Like |
| Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by DeeMain(m): 1:24am On Mar 12, 2019 |
Ire2: Are you crazy? Why are you cyber bullying her unprovoked? To what end? What has she done to deserve this oppression from you? How old are you, kid? Dem no teach you respect? Dem send you? 3 Likes |
| Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by Ishilove: 1:26am On Mar 12, 2019 |
uuzba:And the West? 1 Like |
| Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by Excuzeme: 1:27am On Mar 12, 2019 |
truthsayer009: You are very true, what you wrote. I am even worried that some people are trying to cover-up or divert attention from the truth, the reality. A few things come to mind: 1.) the world has changed, marriage is no longer what it used to be. Everyone has their own "idea" of what their marriage should look like. It wont work out if you marry someone who deos not share that your "view" of marriage. 2.) Western colonization has gradually eroded the "African tradition/culture" and this has affected our marriages. What and how my mother views marriage is not how my wife views it. How my father sees marriage, l am afraid, l tried to see it like that but it is just not working! 3.) Environment affects marriage like nothing else, it is the most important factor! I have seen very nice, lovely and motherly wives who were the envy of everyone that knows them in Nigeria, for more than ten years (not a single quarrel with the husband, nice kids, e.t.c) but that marriage crashed completely within five years of relocating abroad. I have seen too many of these to conclude it is not just mere coincidence. Why is it that most "feminist" dont have a husband or are divorced women? Is it because they dont take shyte from their husbands? What went wrong? 4.) If you marry in Nigeria, l am sure both the husband and wife have expectations of each other (Things l will do, things you must not do, things l can take, boundaries that must not be crossed, how in-laws are treated, how family members are treated, e.t.c). These are the basis of any marital union. Nigerian, legal, customary and traditional LAWS also support these expectations (e,g, you cant drive your husband's mother out of your "marital home" because she has become a part of the family). All these flies out of the window, once you relocate abroad with your wife! The "LAWS" in the western world has made Husbands completely impotent and to be honest, there is nothing "Husbands in the Western world" fear more, than their Wife! How can anyone say that is "marriage"? Marriage should be all about happiness, bliss, love, caring, sharing, dedication, trust, mutual respect, mutual reliance and most importantly, COMMITMENT. There is no room for FEAR, in a real marriage! If you live in-fear of your spouse (husband or wife), then you are not married but dying slowly or planning to kill him/her in the nearest future. 5.) If you come from Abroad to marry a wife in Nigeria, chances, to as high as 90% you will realize it is the greatest mistake you ever made in your life. Dont blame it on Nigerian ladies, blame it on Poverty, blame it on desperation and finally, blame it on the "change in environment and culture". How do you expect a woman who was brought up in a "culture and environment" where she is raised to agree that she must cook for her husband, not order him around, not slap him if he misbehaves, respect his mother and allow them free access to their son and CANNOT, under any circumstance (even if they quarrel, which all couples do!) throw him out of his house..... now suddenly finds herself EXPORTED to a "culture and environment" that legalize and promote male-abuse, that says you can call 911 and without any question asked, the Police will order him out of his house WITHOUT ANY PROOF OR BENEFIT OF DOUBT, where his Mother cannot knock on her son's door at 9pm and you the wife is the one who can decide whether she stays that night or go sleep at the local police station as a "wanderer"? How do you expect her to cope when you suddenly export her to an environment and culture which says it is okay for her to slap you at the slightest provocation but you must just walk away otherwise you will suffer double jeopardy because you will land in jail so fast, you wont know what hit you? How do you expect her to cope when she is told by Social Workers that she can own the house, the children of the marriage and everything you have, all she needs to do is just shout "domestic violence", even if it is trumped-up? How do you expect her to remain "sane and behave like your wife" when you export her to an environment and culture which says if you both agree to have $ex as husband and wife, (which is legal and godly), she can change her mind during the intercourse and if you dont stand up immediately, she can charge you for rape (Yes, your own wife o!) and you spend the rest of your life in jail? I can continue to list the MADNESS that marriage in the "Western world" has become, till tomorrow, All l am saying is that, you guys should stop fooling yourselves thinking you can import a Naija lady abroad and she would still be the same "nice wife" you know in Nigeria or the nice lady she pretends to be while, in Nigeria. She would change and it is not her fault. she just cant help it (I am not justifying it or saying it is right)...but you must not expect otherwise because if you do, it is the disappointment when she changes, that will kill you first before her actions does. (Nigerian ladies, dont be annoyed, l am just trying to prepare the mind of you potential husbands for what would happen, so they dont start forming ignorance). 6.) The Devil you know, is better than the Angel you dont know! That is a big, fat lie. The Women abroad, especially the Akatas (Black women born and raised in the Western world, Europe, Americas) .... if you live abroad, you probably know them very well. (Less than 10% of them are "wife material). They grew up in a culture that treats men as scum, slaves and a tool for their pleasure. they are not really into marriage, as we see it over here in Nigeria or as we experienced it between our own parents. They just wanna be proposed to with an expensive ring, do a lavish wedding and still f*ck around like they are still single. If they have a child for you, you can never be sure who is the father so a DNA test is as cheap and accessible as a malaria test over there. "Bastard Child" as we know it in Nigeria, does not bring "shame" to any woman over there because probably eight out of ten persons you come across was raised by a` man who is not their father but was told by their mother, that he is their father, till they found out. They just move on. Infact, it has become so "normalized| that men are beginning to think it is a "sign of good character" to not complain when your wife brings another man's pregnancy/child into the marriage, you just raise the kid like your own once she says 'I am sorry". So, even if you marry an Akata in your neighborhood over there in the Western world, it is still as risky and dangerous as importing a wife from Nigeria. And that brings us to the real issue: marriage is no longer what we know it to be. Drop all those expectations, if you dont want to be disappointed, you will be, if you still look at it from the lens of "how it used to or was supposed to be". Let me stop here. My advice: Dont marry for children, there in no guarantee they wont be taken off-you by your wife, at one point in the future. There are so many men out there who cant see, relate or even be allowed to say 'hello' to their kids, by their wife or the state. Surrogacy can give you a child of your own, without a mother and the headache of marriage! Ask Linda Ikeji if still in doubt. Dont marry for $ex, you can get it without marriage and all its wahala. The $ex doll is a low-maintenance item that wont throw you out of your house or call Police on you or cheat on you and you can remove the battery anytime you want. She is beautiful and very life-like! Dont marry for love, it is not what keeps a marriage or brings happiness, (Trust, Commitment, Dedication, mutual respect is what does) Dont marry because you think your wife is submissive or will obey you, she wont once she thinks she can get-away with not doing so (Abroad standard). Women of today are being told they are not women, but Men and should act like men, Dont marry because of beauty, that one fades faster than those fake jeans they sell at Aba. Dont marry because you think it will bring you happiness......most married men (especially in the WEST) are living in pain, fear and bondage. How can such people even pretend to be happy (Nigerian husbands living in Nigeria should than their stars but l can assure them that it wont last for long, the evil is gradually creeping-in. If you must marry, sign a Pre-nup (or a Post-nup if already married). have no "good expectations" from the marriage, you wont get any, anyway. It breaks when it breaks, dont hinge your happiness on it. Marriage as of today, is all about the woman and what she selfishly wants. The man that marries should know how much danger he is subjecting himself to. That does not stop you from marrying afterall, we know electricity kills but we still wire our houses and use it. Those are the brutal truth that will come to pass, sooner or later, even if you dont believe it now. PS: To some people this is trash and l agree with such people. To some it is life-saving and l still agree with them, to some. it is "wetin concern me" and those are the people l love most. Dont get worked up over this. 33 Likes 12 Shares |
| Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by Ishilove: 1:29am On Mar 12, 2019 |
destinyy23:Don't mind them. They are here ranting and raving about Nigerian women, meanwhile if you check well they are more likely than not mega assholes themselves. 1 Like |
| Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by BlackAdam55(m): 1:31am On Mar 12, 2019 |
hmm |
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