lefulefu:
what an irresponsible man

Before you pass judgement, listen to both parties. Don’t conclude yet

Excuzeme:


Please stop the bullshyting, we know the man is not here to confirm or deny these accusations but from the look of it, it dont add up.
Too much garnishing, IMO.

Thank God someone can see these inconsistencies like I do. A lot of young people, well they are young and don’t know much, are already sympathizing with her.

She is lying if she is even a woman, or a fraud on Nairaland.

TaminaliaCatapa:


You didn’t derail the thread, we also learnt from your experience, thanks to everyone’s contribution...

Btw, reply to as many messages as possible on Facebook, Nigerian guys are good hardworking guys; no doubt we have the bad eggs, just watch out and twice be careful this time... cheers!

Laughs - I pity genuine men chatting that lady up. She has succeeded with her game plan. I live in a western world oh. You mess with a black woman. A white woman? You must be joking. I stand by word - she is lying

LordAdam16:


No he is a guy.

He is one of the millions of guys out there who have been brainwashed to see feminism as a noble venture rather than the opportunistic take-over attempt that it is.

Little by little they let the feminazis chip away at their liberties, then one day they wake up and realize they've been screwed over, then start calling for men's rights and forming movements like MGTOW.

Only that the feminists with their newly-ingratiated power given to them by these same misled men would start calling them incels and petulant bigots whenever they raise any objections.

-Lord

Paradoxically, Every research ever done concerning female happiness indicates that the so-called patriarchy feminists complained about guaranteed them more happiness and fulfilment. Women generally have declined in happiness since the 50'sand it only gets worse. Feminists have spent the past decades tearing down everything called masculinity. From genderless schools to the destruction of boys scout,

In the west, more women now graduate from colleges than men, and we all know, women are attracted to men of the same or higher social status than them. Now, the independent women have to compete for the tiny pool of eligible men that gets smaller as times goes by, and they usually will not go for guys lower than them, something men have done for centuries. No amount of modern-day feminazi will cheat thousands of years of evolutionary hardwiring. All the crazy feminist I know here are codedly looking for a rich man to marry, then they trash out all those nonsense they subscribed to. They are opportunist after all.

I am not worried about those crazy feminists, as I understand my part to play in the whole game, it is the confused, unconscious, unobservant men that are carried away with the direction the wind blows, having no firm grip of their own conviction I fell sorry for the most. At the end, women's right and power, and her manipulations can only go as far as a man allows.

pansophist:


Paradoxically, Every research ever done concerning female happiness indicates that the so-called patriarchy feminists complained about guaranteed them more happiness and fulfilment. Women generally have declined in happiness since the 50'sand it only gets worse. Feminists have spent the past decades tearing down everything called masculinity. From genderless schools to the destruction of boys scout,

In the west, more women now graduate from colleges than men, and we all know, women are attracted to men of the same or higher social status than them. Now, the independent women have to compete for the tiny pool of eligible men that gets smaller as times goes by, and they usually will not go for guys lower than them, something men have done for centuries. No amount of modern-day feminazi will cheat thousands of years of evolutionary hardwiring. All the crazy feminist I know here are codedly looking for a rich man to marry, then they trash out all those nonsense they subscribed to. They are opportunist after all.

I am not worried about those crazy feminists, as I understand my part to play in the whole game, it is the confused, unconscious, unobservant men that are carried away with the direction the wind blows, having no firm grip of their own conviction I fell sorry for the most. At the end, women's right and power, and her manipulations can only go as far as a man allows.

Brilliantly said - the last paragraph is bulls eye

pansophist:


Paradoxically, Every research ever done concerning female happiness indicates that the so-called patriarchy feminists complained about guaranteed them more happiness and fulfilment. Women generally have declined in happiness since the 50'sand it only gets worse. Feminists have spent the past decades tearing down everything called masculinity. From genderless schools to the destruction of boys scout,

In the west, more women now graduate from colleges than men, and we all know, women are attracted to men of the same or higher social status than them. Now, the independent women have to compete for the tiny pool of eligible men that gets smaller as times goes by, and they usually will not go for guys lower than them, something men have done for centuries. No amount of modern-day feminazi will cheat thousands of years of evolutionary hardwiring. All the crazy feminist I know here are codedly looking for a rich man to marry, then they trash out all those nonsense they subscribed to. They are opportunist after all.

I am not worried about those crazy feminists, as I understand my part to play in the whole game, it is the confused, unconscious, unobservant men that are carried away with the direction the wind blows, having no firm grip of their own conviction I fell sorry for the most. At the end, women's right and power, and her manipulations can only go as far as a man allows.

How do you convince a so called man that has been brainwashed by gender and women studies that men are toxic. how do you convince him that he is a man and that he is not toxic, and the world toxic masculinity was just a trap to cage him from acheving his main ambition in life.

wetdick:


How do you convince a so called man that has been brainwashed by gender and women studies that men are toxic. how do you convince him that he is a man and that he is not toxic, and the world toxic masculinity was just a trap to cage him from acheving his main ambition in life.

You dont convince, you cant convince someone out of his reality. He has to experience it, live it, and breathe it like air. Sadly, those men are collateral damage of how feminized society have become. They are the end result of decades of emasculation, demonising men, and the epitome of what society wants men to be, sadly, the same women who agitate for such men also do not want them either.

For this reason, it is of an absolute necessity for boys to be groomed and transformed into men. A man is made, a woman is born. Fathers, school systems, society must have systems in place to guard and lead boys through the path of masculinity. This is also a reason why ancient societies e.g the Roman empire, as mentioned earlier by lordadam16, push young boys to war, and make them undergo stuff that makes them real men, the kind of men society and women will die to have. They seems to understand this basic truth, something modern societies have tossed away. It is unheard of for men to be mgtow and incels, these men are result of society and parenting that have lost their duties to boys and grooming them into men. If dwarf men like aki and pawpaw are respected and have tall attractive wives, I see no reason why young handsome men will be mgtow and incels.

I've read quite a lot of comments and the truth of the matter is that man (man & woman) is the primary cause of his own problems in most cases. What is the average body count of a single guy of marriage age - some have even lost count of the number of ladies they've slept with after the deception of marriage. How many women have scammed men of their hard earned money - putting the lady through school, catering for her material needs, etc only for the woman to turn around to say the guy is not her level when she's done using him? Guys and ladies alike usually don't consider the short and long term repercussions of their actions towards people. Christians/Muslims read your Bible/Qur'an and see examples of people and their children suffering for their ill-treatment of others.
If you are in this category, you have to seek forgiveness.

Now, If you want to marry, it is simple. Study your intended partner - yes, people pretend (both guys and ladies alike) but we don't catch the person's behaviours because we are not attentive to detail in this age and time. Most people on dates or "alone time" with their boyfriends/girlfriends spend most of the time on their cell phones. How do you want to catch the silent details the person is showing? Even in marriages, cell phones have been described as the thing that gets the most attention between couples and the the source of most problems. Pay attention and you would notice those details you are or aren't looking for - weather or not you act on the info is a different thing. I can spend 1 hour with a lady and get so much info about her that it's scary even for me sometimes. In all of these, don't underestimate the role of God - hand your search over to HIM even as you are making your moves.

Another thing is the men, if you think you want to marry a woman who will be like a slave and not bate an eyelash even when you hurt/wrong her while using her as a slave, then you don't know what's coming your way - women are wiser and more empowered now. Those are the same kinda men that would want to tear to pieces men that do similar to their sisters, nieces, cousins, etc. You must love yourself as a man and in doing so, love your wife. In this love don't do things that you know would hurt her. For instance don't cheat on her no matter what - we all know women have their issues, so do men. Correct your wife with love and not with harsh words. What you wouldn't accept in marriage, make it clear during your courtship. Study a woman well before marrying her. If you genuinely love your wife you would naturally want to help her out with stuff she's doing around the house - this makes you more a man and not less like most men believe. Never, ever beat a woman, no matter the provocation - walk away and cool off. Tell her with love later on and if she's a good woman, she'll be remorseful and apologise. Don't force yourself on her sexually, she's not a machine. Women need love, care and attention. From my understanding childbirth and homemaking usually takes a heavy toll on women, so show them appreciation - they are usually tired after all the chores and just want to rest. Imagine a full time "sex machine", mother, cook, nanny, daughter-in-law, daughter and wife all in one female. Try playing all these roles as a man and you'll know that "khakhi no be leather". Compliment her; teach her if she's a bad cook and don't make fun of her (at least you knew she couldn't cook before marrying her); don't yell at her, especially in public; confide in her; gist with her; do things together and make effort to enjoy her company and allow her enjoy yours. Remember those dates that matter to her - anniversaries, birthdays, etc. Show that her opinion is important to you.

And to the ladies, not all that glitters is gold. I know the country is unbearably hard but b'cos a man is well-to-do doesn't mean he's good for you, depending on his personality. Study a man, make sure he is not violent/abusive - there are usually signs but you just choose to ignore, especially if he's ok financially. Don't make him feel you are with him primarily for the financial gains. You don't necessarily have to challenge his ideas or authority most times, there are more subtle ways of getting what you want. Most men are not used to doing chores, stylishly introduce them to it. Don't let negative feminism get the better of you - most ladies that carry the thing on their head are either single and envious of those that are not single like them or just playing out the anger from their own relationships - don't get caught in that web.

True story - a lady saw her husband's texts to his girlfriend about how they enjoyed the sex and all. She went about her usual duties even bought him a really nice valentine gift (it was valentine season). She only told him to make sure he uses protection. He got scared of her and didn't eat her food for a while. One day he taught through it all and cut ties with his girlfriend, came home to apologise to his wife and beg for forgiveness. She forgave him and they are even better than ever. Was she hurt? Yes! Did she act? Only positively! Choose what you want as a man or lady. Do you want to be among the negative statistics or a model to your kids and society? Decide

There are good guys/ladies out there. Look, seek, search and pray. It is also equally important that you work on yourself. Relationships are work, most people are just not ready to put in their own quota and have a "give me" mentality without the intention to put theirs into it.

God help us all!

TaminaliaCatapa:
This has been worrisome abeg, I don’t like the idea of bringing any gf from Naija come marry, they mess up real bad.

The Naija girls wey dem born abroad sef, they ain’t any way different from foreigners wey go dey tell you to start sharing house chores 50:50 with dem. There is nothing bad if I do those chores in my own volition, but making it a duty for me is a no-no.

Reason why I cant marry white is obvious, the very immediate point I just made up there, some won’t even let you take your kids back to naija coz it’s shîthole

Please, if you are a
1. Naija married man in a foreign land
2. Didn’t marry here in naija but abroad

How did you get married and what type of woman is she.


Please we wanna learn

LordAdam16:


No he is a guy.

He is one of the millions of guys out there who have been brainwashed to see feminism as a noble venture rather than the opportunistic take-over attempt that it is.

Little by little they let the feminazis chip away at their liberties, then one day they wake up and realize they've been screwed over, then start calling for men's rights and forming movements like MGTOW.

Only that the feminists with their newly-ingratiated power given to them by these same misled men would start calling them incels and petulant bigots whenever they raise any objections.

The Arab, Asian, African, and Eastern European men are across the pond looking at them and saying you know what, thanks but no thanks. We are misogynists, no f*cking problem. Better to be called a misogynist when I call the shots than to be called an incel when I raise a complaint. Because as our people say, na from clap, dem dey tk enter dance.

Just imagine feminists asking for boys to be given dolls to tone down toxic masculinity. Like WTF?

In Ancient Sparta, while the boys were sent to the Agoge as young as 7, girls stayed back to help their mothers and old men run the city. Slaves captured in wars did most of the menial jobs. At age 20, those that survive the Agoge, graduate and are enlisted into the army. When leaving for a battle, the women gave the men one simple instruction--either return with your shield on your arm or with you lying on top of your shield. Defeat in combat was worse than castration.

Today, Greek feminists in Laconia will also wake up and say the patriarchy had always marginalized and oppressed women.

How do you marginalize folks who had to stay in the secure confines of city walls raising kids and farming while the men ran head on into flying arrows, stationed pikes, drawn swords on the battle field. Then when they survive all that, you expect them to come home and place you on a pedestal so you can call the shots. Because your vagina is made up of pixie dust.

-Lord

lordadam its a pleasure reading your unbiased opinion on some pressing topics facing our society







you got a lot of wisdom sir

Boss13:


Thank God someone can see these inconsistencies like I do. A lot of young people, well they are young and don’t know much, are already sympathizing with her.

She is lying if she is even a woman, or a fraud on Nairaland.

People who lies a lot, always assumes others lie. I regret writing about myself here, just for being hurt by people in nairaland I never met. Keep going. Thanks for reading

Angela777:

People who lies a lot, always assumes others lie. I regret writing about myself here, just for being hurt by people in nairaland I never met. Keep going. Thanks for reading

I stand by my comments. You are lying because I spotted inconsistencies with your story. Two, the other party is not here to defend himself. You are crying wolf and I don’t have time to pity or sympathize with you because you are lying. Nobody forced you to tell a false story. You chose to and when you are called out, you act a victim - very typical of western women.

Boss13:


I stand by my comments. You are lying because I spotted inconsistencies with your story. Two, the other party is not here to defend himself. You are crying wolf and I don’t have time to pity or sympathize with you because you are lying. Nobody forced you to tell a false story. You chose to and when you are called out, you act a victim - very typical of western women.

HMMM, as I said believe what you wish, you are so wrong about me, you don't know me to accuse me of lies but it's internet, all kind of people and believing, keep attacking me, I see you enjoy it. Some people are emotional vampires and they like to hurt others feeding themselves with others bleeding. Enjoy your meal

cococandy:
When he gets the Filipina to America and or he is lucky to get one that is already here who he won’t have to file visa for, he will know what’s up.

Just two purchases of Louis Vuitton and Chanel per month will make sure that any dream he has of having a bit of money is squashed.

They don’t joke with their material stuff.

The grass is always greener on the other side.

A typical Filipina will spend $3-5k per month on only luxury goods. He should make sure he can afford that.
And they are not like Nigerian women who hustle into medical fields to make money for their husbands and families back home.

I just laugh at the ignorance on this forum.

so in your haste to defend your people, you choose to use a negative stereotype about Filipinos just to boost yourself up....

it's quite fascinating really, the ability to be stupid while accusing others of abandoning their brains

I agree with you, this was the discussion I was having with my cousin.

Ugosample:


your case is different

We are talking about hunting a typical naija have AFTER you have been established


Chances of you being fvcked is 85%

Angela777:

People who lies a lot, always assumes others lie. I regret writing about myself here, just for being hurt by people in nairaland I never met. Keep going. Thanks for reading

C'mon this is a faceless forum and always expect criticism on anything you say here.....that's how it has been going on here for years...some people will give you a listening ears while critics will be ready to devour you..... you juss have to grow a thick skin.....don't ever blame yourself or stop from posting your experience here,tis juss that you should expect troop of critics coming your way and people that will defend you too....stay bless always....you are a beautiful soul....don't stop being open minded...

pansophist:


Paradoxically, Every research ever done concerning female happiness indicates that the so-called patriarchy feminists complained about guaranteed them more happiness and fulfilment. Women generally have declined in happiness since the 50'sand it only gets worse. Feminists have spent the past decades tearing down everything called masculinity. From genderless schools to the destruction of boys scout,

In the west, more women now graduate from colleges than men, and we all know, women are attracted to men of the same or higher social status than them. Now, the independent women have to compete for the tiny pool of eligible men that gets smaller as times goes by, and they usually will not go for guys lower than them, something men have done for centuries. No amount of modern-day feminazi will cheat thousands of years of evolutionary hardwiring. All the crazy feminist I know here are codedly looking for a rich man to marry, then they trash out all those nonsense they subscribed to. They are opportunist after all.

I am not worried about those crazy feminists, as I understand my part to play in the whole game, it is the confused, unconscious, unobservant men that are carried away with the direction the wind blows, having no firm grip of their own conviction I fell sorry for the most. At the end, women's right and power, and her manipulations can only go as far as a man allows.

panso

Listen...


You both have raised your points which are valid, and I agree with, which is......

Men should NOT be feminised or demonized for being men

But like I said, and you know, men had their own share of blame (somewhat) for the rebellion we see in women today, the feminism and all.


Modern day feminists may be jokers (some of them sha) But feminism as at the time it started was highly needed

However the paradigm shift it took has brought some bad consequences

You mean to say that my points and view points on this topic is not relevant /applicable?

Well as for hypergamy

that one is female hypocrisy in its own lol.

since they clamour for equal opportunities
Why then must theyr relationship choices be based on hypergamy?

Tho more women today marry men beneath their "status" especially in Germany and a few others in the Scandinavia, Most women (especially in America and Nigeria ) still are hypergamous

Ugosample:


panso

Listen...


You both have raised your points which are valid, and I agree with, which is......

Men should NOT be feminised or demonized for being men

But like I said, and you know, men had their own share of blame (somewhat) for the rebellion we see in women today, the feminism and all.


Modern day feminists may be jokers (some of them sha) But feminism as at the time it started was highly needed

However the paradigm shift it took has brought some bad consequences

You mean to say that my points and view points on this topic is not relevant /applicable?

Well as for hypergamy

that one is female hypocrisy in its own lol.

since they clamour for equal opportunities
Why then must theyr relationship choices be based on hypergamy?

Tho more women today marry men beneath their "status" especially in Germany and a few others in the Scandinavia, Most women (especially in America and Nigeria ) still are hypergamous

how are men to be blamed for female rebellion, other women put women in the trouble they are today

wetdick:


How do you convince a so called man that has been brainwashed by gender and women studies that men are toxic. how do you convince him that he is a man and that he is not toxic, and the world toxic masculinity was just a trap to cage him from acheving his main ambition in life.

toxic masculinity is a silly term

Tho Men don abuse power well well over the decades upon decades

Calling the masculine energy toxic is foolishness

the masculine and the feminine energy are needed for balance

one is NOT more important than the other

those advocating for that are dimwits

Ugosample:


But like I said, and you know, men had their own share of blame (somewhat) for the rebellion we see in women today, the feminism and all.

For example ?

khiaa:


You security guards and janitors can't afford a dentist unless it's through Obama Care and the Orange man wants to get rid of that. What will you do then about your rotting decaying teeth and your halitosis breath?

Lol.. Google most educated migrants in america and see the results

You crack head slaves ain't shit and yall know this.

That is the foundation of your envy and hatred for africans especially Nigerians

wetdick:


how are men to be blamed for female rebellion, other women put women in the trouble they are today

treating women as chattel, subjugation of women and many other forms of oppression and actions against women which unfortunately a lot of men see as normal

Equal rights and oppirtjutyes would not have been achieved without feminism

saving women from men who threw them out of their homes with their kids for flimsy reasons such as inability to bear male kids (which btw a man play key role in) and other reasons, to replace her with another would not have been possible without rebellion

Refusal of women voting would not have been repealed without rebellion (this is reference to U.S., In Nigeria women always voted)

and so many others

I am an igbo man, I know how ruthless the customs are to women (which they are fighting against thankfully) and all that

Women should be treated as humans just as men, and men and women should be allowed to perform their natural roles without feeling inferior, as both roles (protect and defend vs nuture and take care of the home front ) are important


Men shoukd quit belittling women's role in civilisation preservation, or calling it inferior or whatever (African men especially are culpable id this foolishness)

And women should stop competing with men on what men are naturally built to do. It's causing an imbalance

And western media should stop demonizing men and painting men as useless or dumb.
I forgot to raise that up yesterday
it just occurred to me that most of the cartoon and sit com of the late 20th century till date, Simpson's, Family Guy, etc etc portrayed men as the mumu jokers and the women as the smart and alpha ones who fix things up

that should be discouraged too

In all, I feel men should deal with women fairly and with equity, and women reciprocate

Relationships and societies based on the above last longer and are more enjoyable.


these are just pieces to how I see things

I know you are things in your own way too.

pansophist:

For example ?

refer to the post before this one
what do you think

Ugosample:


treating women as chattel, subjugation of women and many other forms of oppression and actions against women which unfortunately a lot of men see as normal

Equal rights and oppirtjutyes would not have been achieved without feminism

saving women from men who threw them out of their homes with their kids for flimsy reasons such as inability to bear male kids (which btw a man play key role in) and other reasons, to replace her with another would not have been possible without rebellion

Refusal of women voting would not have been repealed without rebellion (this is reference to U.S., In Nigeria women always voted)

and so many others

I am an igbo man, I know how ruthless the customs are to women (which they are fighting against thankfully) and all that

Women should be treated as humans just as men, and men and women should be allowed to perform their natural roles without feeling inferior, as both roles (protect and defend vs nuture and take care of the home front ) are important


Men shoukd quit belittling women's role in civilisation preservation, or calling it inferior or whatever (African men especially are culpable id this foolishness)

And women should stop competing with men on what men are naturally built to do. It's causing an imbalance

And western media should stop demonizing men and painting men as useless or dumb.
I forgot to raise that up yesterday
it just occurred to me that most of the cartoon and sit com of the late 20th century till date, Simpson's, Family Guy, etc etc portrayed men as the mumu jokers and the women as the smart and alpha ones who fix things up

that should be discouraged too

In all, I feel men should deal with women fairly and with equity, and women reciprocate

Relationships and societies based on the above last longer and are more enjoyable.


these are just pieces to how I see things

I know you are things in your own way too.

No man has treated women unfairly, men infact invent chivalry, women destroyed it

when a disaster happen who are the people that will be first saved women and children

women have been allowed to perform their own role that is why in many nigerian traditional society women had their own society, where they come together and talk about problems affecting women.

in respect to women voting, i hope you know that black people weren't allow to vote and werent considered citizens in the US until the civil rights movement, even a feminist came out and said that white women must vote before black men, the feminist do not like black people she is just fighting for her own while pretending she likes us

Affirmative actions in the US were brought because of black people, who are the one enjoying it today- white women,

most of the ruthless customs were brought by other women to control them, lets look at genital mutilation for example, it is woman doing the procedure to other women not men.

black women in the US should understand the role each played during slavery and th suffering of black people and should not betray black men. the way to destroy a civilization is through the women.

wetdick:


No man has treated women unfairly, men infact invent chivalry, women destroyed it

when a disaster happen who are the people that will be first saved women and children

women have been allowed to perform their own role that is why in many nigerian traditional society women had their own society, where they come together and talk about problems affecting women.

in respect to women voting, i hope you know that black people weren't allow to vote and werent considered citizens in the US until the civil rights movement, even a feminist came out and said that white women must vote before black men, the feminist do not like black people she is just fighting for her own while pretending she likes us

Affirmative actions in the US were brought because of black people, who are the one enjoying it today- white women,

most of the ruthless customs were brought by other women to control them, lets look at genital mutilation for example, it is woman doing the procedure to other women not men.

black women in the US should understand the role each played during slavery and th suffering of black people and should not betray black men. the way to destroy a civilization is through the women.

This your viewpoint tho

Ohidata:
I've read quite a lot of comments and the truth of the matter is that man (man & woman) is the primary cause of his own problems in most cases. What is the average body count of a single guy of marriage age - some have even lost count of the number of ladies they've slept with after the deception of marriage. How many women have scammed men of their hard earned money - putting the lady through school, catering for her material needs, etc only for the woman to turn around to say the guy is not her level when she's done using him? Guys and ladies alike usually don't consider the short and long term repercussions of their actions towards people. Christians/Muslims read your Bible/Qur'an and see examples of people and their children suffering for their ill-treatment of others.
If you are in this category, you have to seek forgiveness.

Now, If you want to marry, it is simple. Study your intended partner - yes, people pretend (both guys and ladies alike) but we don't catch the person's behaviours because we are not attentive to detail in this age and time. Most people on dates or "alone time" with their boyfriends/girlfriends spend most of the time on their cell phones. How do you want to catch the silent details the person is showing? Even in marriages, cell phones have been described as the thing that gets the most attention between couples and the the source of most problems. Pay attention and you would notice those details you are or aren't looking for - weather or not you act on the info is a different thing. I can spend 1 hour with a lady and get so much info about her that it's scary even for me sometimes. In all of these, don't underestimate the role of God - hand your search over to HIM even as you are making your moves.

Another thing is the men, if you think you want to marry a woman who will be like a slave and not bate an eyelash even when you hurt/wrong her while using her as a slave, then you don't know what's coming your way - women are wiser and more empowered now. Those are the same kinda men that would want to tear to pieces men that do similar to their sisters, nieces, cousins, etc. You must love yourself as a man and in doing so, love your wife. In this love don't do things that you know would hurt her. For instance don't cheat on her no matter what - we all know women have their issues, so do men. Correct your wife with love and not with harsh words. What you wouldn't accept in marriage, make it clear during your courtship. Study a woman well before marrying her. If you genuinely love your wife you would naturally want to help her out with stuff she's doing around the house - this makes you more a man and not less like most men believe. Never, ever beat a woman, no matter the provocation - walk away and cool off. Tell her with love later on and if she's a good woman, she'll be remorseful and apologise. Don't force yourself on her sexually, she's not a machine. Women need love, care and attention. From my understanding childbirth and homemaking usually takes a heavy toll on women, so show them appreciation - they are usually tired after all the chores and just want to rest. Imagine a full time "sex machine", mother, cook, nanny, daughter-in-law, daughter and wife all in one female. Try playing all these roles as a man and you'll know that "khakhi no be leather". Compliment her; teach her if she's a bad cook and don't make fun of her (at least you knew she couldn't cook before marrying her); don't yell at her, especially in public; confide in her; gist with her; do things together and make effort to enjoy her company and allow her enjoy yours. Remember those dates that matter to her - anniversaries, birthdays, etc. Show that her opinion is important to you.

And to the ladies, not all that glitters is gold. I know the country is unbearably hard but b'cos a man is well-to-do doesn't mean he's good for you, depending on his personality. Study a man, make sure he is not violent/abusive - there are usually signs but you just choose to ignore, especially if he's ok financially. Don't make him feel you are with him primarily for the financial gains. You don't necessarily have to challenge his ideas or authority most times, there are more subtle ways of getting what you want. Most men are not used to doing chores, stylishly introduce them to it. Don't let negative feminism get the better of you - most ladies that carry the thing on their head are either single and envious of those that are not single like them or just playing out the anger from their own relationships - don't get caught in that web.

True story - a lady saw her husband's texts to his girlfriend about how they enjoyed the sex and all. She went about her usual duties even bought him a really nice valentine gift (it was valentine season). She only told him to make sure he uses protection. He got scared of her and didn't eat her food for a while. One day he taught through it all and cut ties with his girlfriend, came home to apologise to his wife and beg for forgiveness. She forgave him and they are even better than ever. Was she hurt? Yes! Did she act? Only positively! Choose what you want as a man or lady. Do you want to be among the negative statistics or a model to your kids and society? Decide

There are good guys/ladies out there. Look, seek, search and pray. It is also equally important that you work on yourself. Relationships are work, most people are just not ready to put in their own quota and have a "give me" mentality without the intention to put theirs into it.

God help us all!

interesting

You have spoken well

but that cheating aspect tho

@ ohidata

When you catch your wife cheating, I hope you decided to be among the positive statistics and a model to your kids and society by encouraging her to use protection when she’s cheating on you.
Who knows maybe that will cause her to change her mind and dump her side piece.

True story - a lady saw her husband's texts to his girlfriend about how they enjoyed the sex and all. She went about her usual duties even bought him a really nice valentine gift (it was valentine season). She only told him to make sure he uses protection. He got scared of her and didn't eat her food for a while. One day he taught through it all and cut ties with his girlfriend, came home to apologise to his wife and beg for forgiveness. She forgave him and they are even better than ever. Was she hurt? Yes! Did she act? Only positively! Choose what you want as a man or lady. Do you want to be among the negative statistics or a model to your kids and society? Decide

cococandy:
@ ohidata

When you catch your wife cheating, I hope you decided to be among the positive statistics and a model to your kids and society by encouraging her to use protection when she’s cheating on you.
Who knows maybe that will cause her to change her mind and dump her side piece.

The truth is

there are a lot of men who are forgiving cheating wives, for the same of kids and all that

BUT
.They keep it secret because the hypocritical society who encourages women to overlook will demonize and ridicule the man for taking that decision


Imagine in your family word gets out that your say uncle 's wife or something cheated and Jr forgave her in the past

if you want to be sincere, it will raise dust in your family (we know this, we are Nigerian )

You may b liberal, and I may b, but most back home are not.


Men and women should br free to decide whether they want to forgive or not

And no one should demonize them for their choice, they are adults

iRepNaija1:


You just want a doormat. God willing, you won't get her.

Amen!

I agree with the last sentence

Ugosample:


The truth is

there are a lot of men who are forgiving cheating wives, for the same of kids and all that

BUT
.They keep it secret because the hypocritical society who encourages women to overlook will demonize and ridicule the man for taking that decision


Imagine in your family word gets out that your say uncle 's wife or something cheated and Jr forgave her in the past

if you want to be sincere, it will raise dust in your family (we know this, we are Nigerian )

You may b liberal, and I may b, but most back home are not.


Men and women should br free to decide whether they want to forgive or not

And no one should demonize them for their choice, they are adults

khiaa:


No, you are wrong, Nigerian Gorillas only harpoon white whales, the more of that pale flesh the more they get turned on, so don't give up, your gorilla will soon come to harpoon you. I just had an idea. You are searching for your Gorilla and the op is searching for his whale, why don't you email him and tell him a little about yourself. WARNING the OP is a two-time loser that no decent American or Nigerian women want, but in your case beggars can't be choosers.

Geez! Hehehe my ribs be cracking lol

khiaa:
Are you Nigerian?

OMG! *faints* lol

One thing I know about marriage is let God lead,marriage nobi bf n gf.....so as long as God is involved, d person u go marry go get head wella whether white ,black,green or pink