March 14,2019

*In Muhammadu Buhari's Voice*

Good day my fellow Literaturelanders,

This is the Commander-in-chief of The Undemocratic Republic of Trolling,The Lord-over-all of all Trolls home and abroad.This is to inform all and sundry that I am back,not as a troll,not as butt but as a man who has discovered what opportunity can be when lost.

For a long while,I have been forced into Literary exile but as a true Troll leader I chose to see it as a Sabbatical.I have realized my mistakes,so right now,I step down from the position of The lord-over-all of The Undemocratic Republic of Troll .Aswell,I renounce my citizenship from Troll and my right thereof,the war between myself and our esteemed Moderator-in-Chief,Divepen1 have been put to armistice.The war is over.

Everyone should be calm,as we stick to status quo,All protocol must be observed.

SIGNED:
Wadewaltz,Gcfr

Cc

Divepen1

Lightqueen

Eberechi24

Don't worry peeps,it is an interestin story to be anxious about

Jide just woke up from his bed,it was already half the day at 12 noon.Nothing strange to him as he was an extensive sleeper

"Oh shit!" he exclaimed,it was almost time for his daily sports talk-show on the radio,he hated missing this show,he had this superstition that if he missed the show,it was a bad day already.He grabbed his radio and tuned,searching for the radio-channel's signal frantically.He looked like a dope-fiend searching for cocaine,the fact that he just woke-up did not do much good to help his looks at that moment.

He found it.

"This is your favourite sports-talkshow host......fizzzzzzzz....We are reporting to you live from the office of the supreme leader of the Undemocratic Republic of Troll"

And so it went on,the dictactor giving his speech,Jide listening rather carelessly,his attention reduced bit by bit as the dictactor went on,he could not care less.He hated politics,in his thoughts,he tried to figure out the one he hated more,Politics,Religion,Cheese or School................. ...TBC

He was a graduate,third-class.He had his certificate roughly kept in his ward-robe.A certificate he paid for.

He smiled,remembering how he concorted his certificate "Oluwole certificate"he said quietly then gigled.Months after graduation and he was yet to get a job not even as a messanger.He wasn't bothered about it infact,he wasn't trying to get one.He felt sick remembering that by what his certificate said,he has a Bsc in Banking and Finance,he could not stand bankers,always looking like a geek trying their best to impress in their awkward "Gentleman" dressing.He prefferred ripped jeans that identified who he truely was,a gangster,a cultist courtsey of his friend who tricked him into it with the promise of introducing celebrity members to him,not like he was complaining though,then Music,his soul,the only thing that holds him,the very thing that made him lie to people about not having a job due to the normal Nigerian job scarcity when infact he wasn't even trying to.His mind went from music to what......

Youngzubi

Okafor200(don't even dare to insult me,I'm not down with jokes nd insults anymore)

He was going to wear today,he already paid five thousand Comments(5000c) to that wack producer for a studio-session of five hours.He thought about making music just as he selected the desired clothings for the day.The producers were too wack for him,they hardly knew a thing,their sounds were terrible,it had a way of destroying the sound of his good cadence and the blood-chilling violent lyrics of his songs.
"Vwola"he said,he got his clothes complete and correct looking,ripped jean,a round-neck shirt and fully accesorized by his tattoos and dread.He was a tough guy,he thought to himself
His waist was aching from the long period spent bending over his box,He stood up and stretched to his full height,6 foot tall,allowing the stale air due to the closed curtains inside the room,to fill his system,he took in every single sight inside the room,Poor.Soon,he is going to be rich and would pack out from this place,away from the constant nagging of his friend Clement,same Clement that introduced him to cultism but had..

Gone soft like a cock after ejaculation.The only reason he was still in this self-contain was because Clement felt guilty about introducing him to cultism.

Just as he was dragging his foot to the bathroom,raplines started coming in.He suspended his bath and dropped the toothbrush already on his hand to the floor.He always kept his lyrics book and a pen close to the couch where he sleeps.He picked them up,lay on the couch and started writing

" rain is a storm fresh off the pu**y of Mother Earth's lap

God gat no parents,so do we call him a bastard?

What more be the right words do I have to bleep the Dictator's daughter......"

And on,he continued.Jide wasn't a bad kid growing up.He attended one of the most Posh primary school in Literatureland and was a bright intelligent student.He always use to have problems with his fellow classmates who would always bully him and remind him that best in class was not best in Life.The bullying continued till the end of secondary school.After his TECO exam.... .........

The weight of being the best student in class dawned on him,he failed,his classmates failed too but the joke was on him.He started putting things into persperctive after that,he would be a failure if in the future he is not more sucessful than his classmates,that made him scared of the uncharted waters of the future.His parents didn't take his failure easy.They almost killed him and made him work for the fee of his second enrollment on the train-station to Romancesection as a porter.He hated his father,the same man who criticized smoking dagga but was addicted to soft drinks.Instead of preaching modesty,his father would criticize dagga As if too much of soft drinks did any good to his system.He was indifferent to his mother.She looked like a dummy,courtsey of his father's constant beating,he used to be ashamed of her in primary school anytime she comes to pick him Up untill he was old enough to go home himself.Since he entered the university of Educationsection,he had not heard from home.....

Both parties were not bothered about the other.

"Haha"he said excitedly,he just finished the song.He stood up to get rid of the sheets of paper on the floor sacrificed into making the song.To his credit,Jide was a neat person.

At the other side of town,the president was still in his office seated with ministers,advisers surrounding him.They were all chatterring at the same time,nonstop.Sometimes,he wished he could escape from all this political drama but he was way too deep in it,there was no where to run to.In his country,he was known by all and sundry,outside it was no better,the U.N have been running propanganda's about him being evil.He would tell himself that he isn't evil,he was a strict,disciplined,righteous man.Those agitators of a Democratic government headed by Divepen1,the former Moderator-in-chief of the nation whom he sacked were just too undisciplined.They even had the guts to demand that the name of the nation be changed from Troll to Literature.Now he has a situation at hand,He was chased...

Out of the country into exile,now he was brought back so he could sign the deal that would transform everything.The people were gullible,they fell to the empty promises of a better leadership.He remembered how the word "Literaturelanders" tasted like vinegar at his speech.He flipped over to the time he killed a neighbours dog with his bare hands as a kid,he was brave and fearless,too much money and fame have turned him to a coward.Wadewaltz only comfort in this world was his daughter way off in a foreign land,Rapland.He concealed her identity from the rest of the world so she isn't bothered by people about his actions.After all this he was going to take a bow from government and politics and then go be with her.He saved enough money from the nation's treasury and he still has a little bit of time,like a year,for the nation to conduct an election,get a new leader then he would step down.He was to over-see everything.

He lit a cigarrette as he rembered he was still in his office with all the chattering,all...

this while he was there but was far-off.He pushed through the crowd,to his door,it was like a a prison break,they were all after him,still chattering

"Damn it"the biometric door wasn't opening,the door had issues and this totally destroyed the mindset of Wadewaltz towards technologies,not too good for a luddite.Finally it opened,he opened the door,went out and slammed it.It would have made a loud noise if not for the hand of his Adviser on foreign affair that caught the door midway,if the door had slammed,the people inside the office would have been locked-in needing his thumb to set them free.He ran to his car and asked the driver to speed-off because his pack of advisers and ministers were closely behind him,chasing.They were all glory-hunters praying that they would be the one to bring-up an idea that would impress the dictator and thus find favour in his eyes.

Inside the dark limo,he heaved a deep breath and sighed,he felt like his hands were still cuffed but atleast adjusted to give a little bit of....

Cc

Airmark

Mikuz

Raptex

Deckline

Hellvictorinho

Senhorsean

Nicheey

Oblaklaz

He slid-down the window to spit at the lawn drawing the stare of the gardener who was working the lawn,he quickly turned his face seeing the offender.Oops,too late.

"Indignation"Wadewaltz said to himself after whinding up,he made a mental check to ensure that the gardener was executed When he returns
The journey went on to a quiet,dark,street-corner behind a brothel,it was already 12:00am,a dark limo could hardly be spotted talkless of knowing that the dictator was inside.Even if the limo is seen,it would be thought to be one high class customer to the brothel and not the dictator.He nodded to his driver

"Get her"he chuckled under his breath.The driver went into the brothel through the back door after ensuring he wasn't seen.

Wadewaltz felt alone,before the meeting with his cabinet,he asked his guards to take a day-off except the driver,he always does that when ever he wants to come to this place.His secret was between himself and his driver.Just like the gardener,he would execute the driver later on

Skubido

Youngyazz

Mrdotman

Humphreycool

Kimoyo Goddonbishop Izaray

Wadewaltz:
Kimoyo Goddonbishop Izaray

Thanks for the invite

izaray:
Thanks for the invite

You are welcome but you must promise me a comment after every update.

Seems like it is only girls that comes to this section,Where them'a bois go to?,manna stuck inna place wey manna afi see no man not even a pickney

Wadewaltz:

You are welcome but you must promise me a comment after every update.

Lol, na by force to comment ni

I can do that to encourage you only if your story make sense. I can't come and pretend for nothing na

But you're not doing badly though. Weldone

izaray:
Lol, na by force to comment ni

I can do that to encourage you only if your story make sense. I can't come and pretend for nothing na

But you're not doing badly though. Weldone

Make I no see your comment afta my next update,we go wear one trouser

Wadewaltz:

Make I no see your comment afta my next update,we go wear one trouser

i dy wait

izaray:
i dy wait

Okay na

Silensa

Opparadise

He couldn't afford to have a third party in this.

Wadewaltz thoughts were broken by the footsteps approaching his vehicle,there was no need to check who it was,he knew it was the driver and the woman.There was a knock on his window,so he whind down

"Show me the money"A man on a mask said,he smelt of dry gin mixed with the ever noticeable scent of dagga,the country's biggest export,a trade he paid so much attention to to see it grow till it stamped the Name of the country down as the biggest exporter of the recreational drug.

"I said give me your money"the robber exclaimed.It was dark and the robber just couldn't recognise who he was talking To,if he had recognised him,his actions would have been diferent by now,Worse.Wadewaltz wasn't a friend of the Troll's,he was hated like an outsider.

"Hey!,get the f**** of"

it was the voice of the driver with a woman standing right behind him cowering.The driver was yet to see the gun.

The robber was startled and In that tense moment,he pulled the trigger,it went...

Straight to Wadewaltz shoulder and knocked him out unconscious.On hearing the sound of the gun,the woman and the driver were both shuffling to get back into the building,too late for the driver as he received a bullet to his back.

The woman gave a loud scream and the robber fled the scene,he didn't have enough bullets for the number of people approaching.

Next morning,newspapers carried different headlines,"THE PRESIDENT DEAD" seems to be the one they all agreed on consensus.This headline was inspired by the bitter hatred towards the dictator.Only one journalist was smart enough to wonder what a dictator was doing at the back of a brothel without security,late at night.He dared not publish that article,it will be too scandalous,not forgetting the fact that the president was still the one in power.Even his editor wouldn't want the story published but there was this nagging urge in Clement to get the details of this incident.

Jide returned home late at 2am.He quickly offloaded the mask hidden inside...

Good job....

raptex:
Good job....

Thanks mhen

Wadewaltz:
Silensa

Opparadise

Present sir. I hope and pray that Divenpen don't have to ban you forever.

Ride on

.

opparadise:

.
Sorry, I don't have to read your garbage, provide an audio version.
.
Secondly, don't tag me with a ratus ratus.

This troll shii you doing is a dead trend,I did it before ask,las las na ban for one year go end am,I trust Divepen1.

Silensa:


Present sir. I hope and pray that Divenpen don't have to ban you forever.

Ride on

I ain't getting banned no more provided opparadise shoves his comments down his dick's hole

his underwear.The room was dark and hot so he decided to open the windows so the cool air of the night and the beaming light of the moon can come in.The temperature inside the room reduced but there seem to be no moon at all So he used his instincts to find the couch so he could lie down.He felt someone there,it was Clement who woke up startled and took a few seconds to recognise the familiar voice.

"Wats good mon"he greeted after recognising Jide.

"I'm fine"Jide said sounding like a beach washing its tide against the sand.

Clement moved to the next couch almost knocking over a picture,he was about to start a conversation about the day and ask Jide how his music was going then he remembered that Jide wasn't fond of their conversation unlike before instead Clement just stood up and went to the bedroom.

Jide was already on a sleeping position on the just vacated couch.He had his eyes shut,there was no need to as the room was pitch dark.He couldn't find sleep,his mind was on his last operation,he made too...