I got married to my wife in 2017 and we have been living together since, we have a child together but there is this problem with her anytime it has to do with any of her EX. i will cite some of what happened .

She wanted to organise a programme at a time and the person she could think of is one of her ex who happens to be a media guy, i told her point blank that i dont want her to go met the guy but she explained to me how the guy will be of help to her in the programme she is planning, i let her be cos i dont want to be seen as someone throwing spanners in the wheel of her progress, i supported her and the programme was a success.

Another instance was when her mother died, and they were planning the burial ceremony with her brothers...my wife got home and told me that she told her brothers that she will talk to a musician to come play at the ceremony and the said musician happens to be another ex of hers. i told her right there that am not comfortable with it at all how could ur ex come to sing at her mums burial and i will be there dancing to his tunes?...after so much back and forth , i told her i will only attend the church service and i or any of my people will not come for the party, that was when she made last minute changes and went to book another musician.

The last straw that broke the carmels back was yesterday....I and her have been having some issues of late and we talked over it infact we are just coming out of the tensions....then yesterday morning around 8am she told me that another ex of hers called her overnight and told her that his mum just passed away and he could not think of anyone to call but her cos he is so broken, she said she had sent her condolences already but that she will like to go greet the guy and his siblings cos they are in their fathers house [ the guy is still single ooo although they broke up in 2013] and that she will be able to know about the burial arrangements so she can plan on attending the burial..so she asked me for permission if she could go and pay them a visit yesterday..... Normally i wld not have allowed her but i thought what is she didnt tell me and went there and secondly cos of the tension we just went through and i dont want another tension to build again , i told her i will only allow her to either go greet them yesterday or she goes for the burial ...I told her i will only allow her to choose one . She then asked me in strong tone why i didnt wnat her to attend the burial.....At that point i left the room cos i was not ready for another round of arguments.

She did not say anything again until afternoon, i went to my living room and asked her if she is no more going on the visit again she said she already taken her bath and she will go n prepare now ....she entered the room and started dressing up, i went to meet her in the room and i told her that i allowed her to go cos i already gave her the permission but henceforth i will not allow such again ...Told her she is not the only person with exes , i dont allow issues of any of my own ex brew tension in my marriage , i told her i have an ex whose fathers house is just like 5 mins drive from inside the estate we live and when the man died my ex called me ..all i did was send her my condolence over the phone and i explained that i cant come for the burial cos i have a wife at home whose feelings i respect and that it ends there AT that point my wife flared up to the high heavens .....she started ranting that why am i caging her that i should give her reasons why she should not go that am just so obsessed with her am immmature, insecure and bla bla bla. I told her if loving my wife and protecting the dignity and integrity of my family for obsession then she is totally wrong. She said other men will not have any problem with it that why am i making an issue out of the situation, i explained to her that am not other men , What Mr A is comfortable with may not be so with Mr B cos we all have our individual differences .....One problem my wife have is she does not see reasons why i shld not accept what she seems right to her . I then told her to call any of her elder brother and explain this situation to him if he can allow such ....

This is a woman i never restricted her movements ....i only restricted her twice and they are both on health grounds...When she left i did what i have never done before [ i have never reported her to anybody either my family or hers no matter what happens i find a way we can solve it]...i called her very close friend and explained everything to her, the lady was surprised and she promised to talk to her....I also tried to call her elder brother who is a pastor but his phone is switched off and i have not been able to get through to him .When my wife came back
she did not even greet meat all , she came to take our baby from me which i refused her, she went straight into her room, i later went into the room to lay our baby and i went into the guest room to sleep cos am so much in anger and i dont want the neighbors to hear any noise from my flat.

please i need sincere and honest opinion from married people on here ....i want to know if am at fault and secondly what next step should i take

You are NOT at fault sir, so pls calm down.

PLS Forgive her.... your wife like most women... does not know the value of the kind of man she has and also she is the immature one.... she has not learned SUBMISSION.... submission is NOT slavery BUT it is letting the man be the HEAD of the HOME... she can only LEARN BY EXPERIENCE... that is the bitter truth.

If not for you, she may have rekindled an old flame in one of the EXes and that may lead to FLIRTING and at the end of the day THEY WILL BE BLAMING THE DEVIL UPANDAN.

Wisdom to apply now is, allow her but Go with her if you can. If she is not comfortable to go with you then SHE HAS OTHER MOTIVES O.....

also CLONE her PHONE.. so that any sms, calls or whatsapp she receives gets into your own phone too.... then u will be able to really handle this thing from the root. When you gather proper facts and evidencies then u can reveal it to family members or church leaders and they can decide what course of action to take.

YOU do not have to be angry yet because she can still say you are just being too sensitive and over protective. In quiet wisdom any hidden thing can be revealed.

Explain to her in LOVE but have a back up plan.
many people hide so much of their true nature till they marry.... their vision for marriage ends with the wedding reception... afterwards a character they never manifested before begins to show up.

ruddyman500:
I got married to my wife in 2017 and we have been living together since, we have a child together but there is this problem with her anytime it has to do with any of her EX. i will cite some of what happened .

She wanted to organise a programme at a time and the person she could think of is one of her ex who happens to be a media guy, i told her point blank that i dont want her to go met the guy but she explained to me how the guy will be of help to her in the programme she is planning, i let her be cos i dont want to be seen as someone throwing spanners in the wheel of her progress, i supported her and the programme was a success.

Another instance was when her mother died, and they were planning the burial ceremony with her brothers...my wife got home and told me that she told her brothers that she will talk to a musician to come play at the ceremony and the said musician happens to be another ex of hers. i told her right there that am not comfortable with it at all how could ur ex come to sing at her mums burial and i will be there dancing to his tunes?...after so much back and forth , i told her i will only attend the church service and i or any of my people will not come for the party, that was when she made last minute changes and went to book another musician.

The last straw that broke the carmels back was yesterday....I and her have been having some issues of late and we talked over it infact we are just coming out of the tensions....then yesterday morning around 8am she told me that another ex of hers called her overnight and told her that his mum just passed away and he could not think of anyone to call but her cos he is so broken, she said she had sent her condolences already but that she will like to go greet the guy and his siblings cos they are in their fathers house [ the guy is still single ooo although they broke up in 2013] and that she will be able to know about the burial arrangements so she can plan on attending the burial..so she asked me for permission if she could go and pay them a visit yesterday..... Normally i wld not have allowed her but i thought what is she didnt tell me and went there and secondly cos of the tension we just went through and i dont want another tension to build again , i told her i will only allow her to either go greet them yesterday or she goes for the burial ...I told her i will only allow her to choose one . She then asked me in strong tone why i didnt wnat her to attend the burial.....At that point i left the room cos i was not ready for another round of arguments.

She did not say anything again until afternoon, i went to my living room and asked her if she is no more going on the visit again she said she already taken her bath and she will go n prepare now ....she entered the room and started dressing up, i went to meet her in the room and i told her that i allowed her to go cos i already gave her the permission but henceforth i will not allow such again ...Told her she is not the only person with exes , i dont allow issues of any of my own ex brew tension in my marriage , i told her i have an ex whose fathers house is just like 5 mins drive from inside the estate we live and when the man died my ex called me ..all i did was send her my condolence over the phone and i explained that i cant come for the burial cos i have a wife at home whose feelings i respect and that it ends there AT that point my wife flared up to the high heavens .....she started ranting that why am i caging her that i should give her reasons why she should not go that am just so obsessed with her am immmature, insecure and bla bla bla. I told her if loving my wife and protecting the dignity and integrity of my family for obsession then she is totally wrong. She said other men will not have any problem with it that why am i making an issue out of the situation, i explained to her that am not other men , What Mr A is comfortable with may not be so with Mr B cos we all have our individual differences .....One problem my wife have is she does not see reasons why i shld not accept what she seems right to her . I then told her to call any of her elder brother and explain this situation to him if he can allow such ....

This is a woman i never restricted her movements ....i only restricted her twice and they are both on health grounds...When she left i did what i have never done before [ i have never reported her to anybody either my family or hers no matter what happens i find a way we can solve it]...i called her very close friend and explained everything to her, the lady was surprised and she promised to talk to her....I also tried to call her elder brother who is a pastor but his phone is switched off and i have not been able to get through to him .When my wife came back
she did not even greet meat all , she came to take our baby from me which i refused her, she went straight into her room, i later went into the room to lay our baby and i went into the guest room to sleep cos am so much in anger and i dont want the neighbors to hear any noise from my flat.

please i need sincere and honest opinion from married people on here ....i want to know if am at fault and secondly what next step should i take

ruddyman500:
I got married to my wife in 2017 and we have been living together since, we have a child together but there is this problem with her anytime it has to do with any of her EX. i will cite some of what happened .

She wanted to organise a programme at a time and the person she could think of is one of her ex who happens to be a media guy, i told her point blank that i dont want her to go met the guy but she explained to me how the guy will be of help to her in the programme she is planning, i let her be cos i dont want to be seen as someone throwing spanners in the wheel of her progress, i supported her and the programme was a success.

Another instance was when her mother died, and they were planning the burial ceremony with her brothers...my wife got home and told me that she told her brothers that she will talk to a musician to come play at the ceremony and the said musician happens to be another ex of hers. i told her right there that am not comfortable with it at all how could ur ex come to sing at her mums burial and i will be there dancing to his tunes?...after so much back and forth , i told her i will only attend the church service and i or any of my people will not come for the party, that was when she made last minute changes and went to book another musician.

The last straw that broke the carmels back was yesterday....I and her have been having some issues of late and we talked over it infact we are just coming out of the tensions....then yesterday morning around 8am she told me that another ex of hers called her overnight and told her that his mum just passed away and he could not think of anyone to call but her cos he is so broken, she said she had sent her condolences already but that she will like to go greet the guy and his siblings cos they are in their fathers house [ the guy is still single ooo although they broke up in 2013] and that she will be able to know about the burial arrangements so she can plan on attending the burial..so she asked me for permission if she could go and pay them a visit yesterday..... Normally i wld not have allowed her but i thought what is she didnt tell me and went there and secondly cos of the tension we just went through and i dont want another tension to build again , i told her i will only allow her to either go greet them yesterday or she goes for the burial ...I told her i will only allow her to choose one . She then asked me in strong tone why i didnt wnat her to attend the burial.....At that point i left the room cos i was not ready for another round of arguments.

She did not say anything again until afternoon, i went to my living room and asked her if she is no more going on the visit again she said she already taken her bath and she will go n prepare now ....she entered the room and started dressing up, i went to meet her in the room and i told her that i allowed her to go cos i already gave her the permission but henceforth i will not allow such again ...Told her she is not the only person with exes , i dont allow issues of any of my own ex brew tension in my marriage , i told her i have an ex whose fathers house is just like 5 mins drive from inside the estate we live and when the man died my ex called me ..all i did was send her my condolence over the phone and i explained that i cant come for the burial cos i have a wife at home whose feelings i respect and that it ends there AT that point my wife flared up to the high heavens .....she started ranting that why am i caging her that i should give her reasons why she should not go that am just so obsessed with her am immmature, insecure and bla bla bla. I told her if loving my wife and protecting the dignity and integrity of my family for obsession then she is totally wrong. She said other men will not have any problem with it that why am i making an issue out of the situation, i explained to her that am not other men , What Mr A is comfortable with may not be so with Mr B cos we all have our individual differences .....One problem my wife have is she does not see reasons why i shld not accept what she seems right to her . I then told her to call any of her elder brother and explain this situation to him if he can allow such ....

This is a woman i never restricted her movements ....i only restricted her twice and they are both on health grounds...When she left i did what i have never done before [ i have never reported her to anybody either my family or hers no matter what happens i find a way we can solve it]...i called her very close friend and explained everything to her, the lady was surprised and she promised to talk to her....I also tried to call her elder brother who is a pastor but his phone is switched off and i have not been able to get through to him .When my wife came back
she did not even greet meat all , she came to take our baby from me which i refused her, she went straight into her room, i later went into the room to lay our baby and i went into the guest room to sleep cos am so much in anger and i dont want the neighbors to hear any noise from my flat.

please i need sincere and honest opinion from married people on here ....i want to know if am at fault and secondly what next step should i take

Ur not faulty bro... Since she no wan get sense no talk for her matter again, if she continues then u sef start urs too

greatnaija01:
You are NOT at fault sir, so pls calm down.

PLS Forgive her.... your wife like most women... does not know the value of the kind of man she has and also she is the immature one.... she has not learned SUBMISSION.... submission is NOT slavery BUT it is letting the man be the HEAD of the HOME... she can only LEARN BY EXPERIENCE... that is the bitter truth.

If not for you, she may have rekindled an old flame in one of the EXes and that may lead to FLIRTING and at the end of the day THEY WILL BE BLAMING THE DEVIL UPANDAN.

Wisdom to apply now is, allow her but Go with her if you can. If she is not comfortable to go with you then SHE HAS OTHER MOTIVES O.....

also CLONE her PHONE.. so that any sms, calls or whatsapp she receives gets into your own phone too.... then u will be able to really handle this thing from the root. When you gather proper facts and evidencies then u can reveal it to family members or church leaders and they can decide what course of action to take.

YOU do not have to be angry yet because she can still say you are just being too sensitive and over protective. In quiet wisdom any hidden thing can be revealed.

Explain to her in LOVE but have a back up plan.
many people hide so much of their true nature till they marry.... their vision for marriage ends with the wedding reception... afterwards a character they never manifested before begins to show up.

If not for you, she may have rekindled an old flame in one of the EXes and that may lead to FLIRTING and at the end of the day THEY WILL BE BLAMING THE DEVIL UPANDAN. .....That was exactly what i told her that i dont want old affections and emotions to be awaken but she is just so adamant and irritably sturbborn

I'm learning

there is something fishy in this story....so only her and all these exes issues, kai!

sadly, you are married to a woman who still want to be "free" to do what she use to when single, well guess what? let her know that she shouldnt have married you then. she is very immature, and only focusses on her her her, without even considering you and how you would feel.
IMHO such type of woman are very dangerous.

In as much as I hate restricting my girls movement, even to visit an ex or whoever she wants to visit, our ladies are so dumb to know almost every man that comes in contact with them, be it an ex or a new toaster, or wannabe bestie, will grab every opportunity to get her laid.

Just know one thing bro, when an ex visits me, or I ask her to visit me for whatsoever reason. The fvck must be fvcked. Fact#. Talk more of the ex having a bigger dlck than yours, and the said ex can fvck very well. Tell me why she won’t wanna have some when she visits him.

Dem go fvck your wife o. Bros.

Na anyhow ladies just full Nigeria. Who does that??



Someone in the comment section said the OPs wife has “excess ex’s”

Another said “he knows the password to unlock all his ex’s brain and get them laid”

so what are we now saying??

If my ex visits me, tori olorun, I fvck her like I’m not gonna see her again. But not when she’s married I be good boy for that area

ruddyman500:


If not for you, she may have rekindled an old flame in one of the EXes and that may lead to FLIRTING and at the end of the day THEY WILL BE BLAMING THE DEVIL UPANDAN. .....That was exactly what i told her that i dont want old affections and emotions to be awaken but she is just so adamant and irritably sturbborn

If Flirting of a thing Is True, then i don't think your so called Wife value you and Respect your Marriage...
That is totally rubbish she is married but her eyes is still outside for her exes...
I think you marry LovePeddler Sorry To Say..
because you don't need to be pestering her before she summit to your words...

You need to stop been a good boy to handle her. She's taking advantage of the good man in you.

8GB Atm card flash drive for #1000 only. Check link below

Kendumazy:
You need to stop been a good boy to handle her. She's taking advantage of the good man in you.

i honestly think so bro but i dont want to rush into taking rash decisions cos i know myself very well i do stand by any decision i make and nobody can change my mind on it

Please seek advice from experienced people on marital issues. She is quite different compared to most other ladies who won't mention the nature of relationship(s) they were having with the people she invited.
However, keeping close contact with them is way too risky.

ruddyman500:


i honestly think so bro but i dont want to rush into taking rash decisions cos i know myself very well i do stand by any decision i make and nobody can change my mind on it

You need to show some actions that she doesn't really matter since she doesn't want to do the right thing or doesn't respect your feelings. You need to show some actions that you can live without her. If you show these actions and she doesn't bitterly apologize to save her marriage. Then, you need to work on separation cos your peace of mind is one of your most priorities. Sorry, if I sound as if I want to destroy your marriage. Hell No! The truth is that, it takes iron hand and iron heart to handle a kind of your woman.

Seems like Dix yuh wife has gotta lot of Ex,buh whom even talks bout dia Ex when dey r married,i hope u didn't marry a teen,cos she sounds quite immature,n if i may ask is she a working class lady,cos if she is i wonder if she would have time for all dix her ex issues,I'm sure most of dix behavior's wia evident while u guys wia dating buh u chose to ignore believing that marriage would mk it all better,buh it never does..

You do babysitting job as she go see her ex no get me wrong, that baby for restrict them if something wrong be want happen

She just see them as friends and that friendship dey wrong. One of them fit do bad thing with her one day.

Make her see reason why e dey wrong to go visit any ex. Tell story how men dey take advantage of that kind relationship. Remind her sey old firewood no dey quench. Best of luck in your marriage, you go overcome this challenge, the marriage still young.

You made a mistake by allowing her to visit her ex the first time, you should have stood your ground the first time she brought up the issue, anything you know you can't take, DON'T allow it the first time

Tolerating too much nonsense.
Ex kor.

Your wife still have soft spots for her exes and I wonder why her exes still keep in contact to the point of inviting her over, was she a free giver in her hey days? She ia even fighting you for not giving her freedom. My advise allow her to live her life, no amount of control would work in this matter. Try and control your emotions, give her some benefit of doubt, trust and watch. Even if she is going to slip, there is nothing much you can do. Thats the price someone has to pay for marrying somebody with enough baggage. My interest is in your mental health and wellbeing, I dont want you to suffer depression.

My uncle the bitter truth is that you have jist married an olosho. Perhaps she choose you when others are not ready. She is still interested in street Bleep Bleep parole. How did she know the what's up with all her ex ? She is keeping there contact ni. That is just it.
My uncle my uncle you are not married yet. This woman u call ur wife is just on NYSC in your house. Soon she will serve finish and go.
You are the LGI though.
How can one be driving amd still concentrate on side mirrors. Who does that?
Listen she still dey Bleep around.
My fear is ur own life. Pls act fast

I am not married but all I can say is that I can't tolerate her, so send her packing

You shouldn't have allowed her in the first place cus I don't see where married woman will still have connection with her ex. When you're married, all ur exes are past. Since you've addressed the issue in a normal way and she did nt listen that means she needs iron hand and I know if she is d type of woman that wanna save her marriage she will apologise bt just don't take it easy on her and let her know she is wrong. May the lord continue to uphold ur family cus ur marriage is still young.

daben1:
You made a mistake by allowing her to visit her ex the first time, you should have stood your ground the first time she brought up the issue, anything you know you can't take, DON'T allow it the first time

Exactly what I was thinking. What I have noticed about women is that sometimes, they take actions without understanding the scope of its consequences, focusing only on their own frame, and not the whole picture. Like a chicken happily eating the lined grain in front of her, unrealising that it leads to a trap she most cases than not, won't escape from. And if something bad happens, she and society will blame you for allowing such practice from her, as the mantle of leadership has been given to you, and you didn't stand your ground during the waves.

In marriage, some things should be a complete knockout, a no-go area that must not be tolerated, and keeping contact with exes should be part of it. These are sacrifices parties must make for the flourishment of their marriage, and if both parties will not understand and accept this stone fact, then they are not ripe for the matrimonial institution. Breakups are usually on account of irreconcilable differences, making two people go their separate ways, how come she is still in peaceful contact with not only one, but more than one of her exes, even to a point of disregarding your feelings, the integrity and respect of your marriage, even after repeated warnings? This doesn't seem right.

You should from now henceforth, sternly make it clear that you will not tolerate any of such visits again, and make her understand that there are consequences, which must be enforced if she tries to test your backbone (which she will). For the meantime, you may report her to people you know she has respect for (e.g her parents, pastors, etc), making them also understand the consequences you will take it she repeats such next time. A complex problem requires complex solutions.

Lastly, and most importantly, to be able to project your mantle of leadership, you MUST make sure that your traditional duties and responsibilities as are a man are met (the 5 P's), especially to Preside (lead), protect, provide, produce and penetrate (good sex). It is unnegotiable. If after you've done all these, and see no changes, well, I leave to you to take solutions you deem sufficient and accept that you can't change people if they do want to. Goodluck.

They are called EX( extinction) for a reason and if your wife can't respect that, then she has some learning to do.
Make her understand that she has no business with any of her exes, after all she isn't the only one with exes wahala. All this ukwu-nnu wife sef One preeq no dey do dem

greatnaija01:
You are NOT at fault sir, so pls calm down.

PLS Forgive her.... your wife like most women... does not know the value of the kind of man she has and also she is the immature one.... she has not learned SUBMISSION.... submission is NOT slavery BUT it is letting the man be the HEAD of the HOME... she can only LEARN BY EXPERIENCE... that is the bitter truth.

If not for you, she may have rekindled an old flame in one of the EXes and that may lead to FLIRTING and at the end of the day THEY WILL BE BLAMING THE DEVIL UPANDAN.

Wisdom to apply now is, allow her but Go with her if you can. If she is not comfortable to go with you then SHE HAS OTHER MOTIVES O.....

also CLONE her PHONE.. so that any sms, calls or whatsapp she receives gets into your own phone too.... then u will be able to really handle this thing from the root. When you gather proper facts and evidencies then u can reveal it to family members or church leaders and they can decide what course of action to take.

YOU do not have to be angry yet because she can still say you are just being too sensitive and over protective. In quiet wisdom any hidden thing can be revealed.

Explain to her in LOVE but have a back up plan.
many people hide so much of their true nature till they marry.... their vision for marriage ends with the wedding reception... afterwards a character they never manifested before begins to show up.

please how do I clone phones

Pls call out her bullshits, if you were the one doing all the ex stuff she is doing, how will she feel.

you are in for one big trouble, she doesnt rely on you for decision instead her ex

and all these you dont restrict your married wife movement will put you in trouble

you havent setup your boundaries that is why she is disrespecting you. your marriage might crash soon if you dont take the neccessary steps and she will blaim it on you.

Slimzzy00:


please how do I clone phones

kinda complex, but some tutorials on the web will help. Bros forget when anyone tells you to trust your woman. Just forget it. Trust her but to an extent.

Not now that yahoo guys are enticing every lady they meets, your girl don slip be that.

No matter who that girl is and her claims on being very hard to get, there’s a guy, that will come and break her, bros relationship na scam o. Do not think your woman can’t cheat on you, I repeat, DO NOT THINK she can’t fvck another dlck.

This your woman is simply 'stubborn'
I don't know what advice to give,i jst hope her stubbornness doesn't land her in trouble
Well,for a start,i suggest you make her change her sim card
You have been cool with her,i like that

Your situation is frustrating and believe me, I understand what you are going through.

But hear me well, you are not at fault.

Most women will never know the gold they have until they lose it. Thats the sad thing about experience. You always going to learn in a hard way. To me, reporting her to anybody will further solidify her stupidity and even makes you too desperate but unfortunately, that is the only recurs you have.

For me, each time I'm discussing something with my wife, she will always bring in or mention the name of her ex. At times, i get angry and sometimes I warn her that I don't want to hear that name again. But she keeps saying it almost all other days but she won't even use ear to hear "babym"...lol which is what my own ex and I use to call each other.

So I now knew her own "code" and I used it against her. So what I now do is, each time we are discussing and she mentions her ex, I will find a way to mention "babym" when am replying her. And lo and behold, that issue has been solved till today. Even though she mistakenly mentions ify's name, which her ex, I will also mistaken mentions "babym" and tell her it was a mistake.

umuwnayi.... you just have to be creative and think outside the box to handle them, else you end up being a 'mini-man' and push them away.

Truth be said friend, you are insecure. Trust her for once in your life, if you caught her cheating on you then, you can kick her ass out of the marriage.

i cant marry a woman with lot of exes, guess after she has bang everybody she settled for you and then starts playing on your intelligence

she is manipulating you and you are giving her passes for bad behaviours. even allowing her to go visit an ex.

soon, you will lose your wife with all the freedom you are giving her.

give a woman an inch and she'll take a mile

Which kine advice be this tori oloun

stupidity:
kinda complex, but some tutorials on the web will help.


I can only use the WhatsApp web feature to read my baes chats. Bros forget when anyone tells you to trust your woman. Just forget it. Trust her but to an extent.

Not now that yahoo guys are enticing every lady they meets, your girl don slip be that.

No matter who that girl is and her claims on being very hard to get, there’s a guy, that will come and break her, bros relationship na scam o. Do not think your woman can’t cheat on you, I repeat, DO NOT THINK she can’t fvck another dlck.

ruddyman500:
I got married to my wife in 2017 and we have been living together since, we have a child together but there is this problem with her anytime it has to do with any of her EX. i will cite some of what happened .

She wanted to organise a programme at a time and the person she could think of is one of her ex who happens to be a media guy, i told her point blank that i dont want her to go met the guy but she explained to me how the guy will be of help to her in the programme she is planning, i let her be cos i dont want to be seen as someone throwing spanners in the wheel of her progress, i supported her and the programme was a success.

Another instance was when her mother died, and they were planning the burial ceremony with her brothers...my wife got home and told me that she told her brothers that she will talk to a musician to come play at the ceremony and the said musician happens to be another ex of hers. i told her right there that am not comfortable with it at all how could ur ex come to sing at her mums burial and i will be there dancing to his tunes?...after so much back and forth , i told her i will only attend the church service and i or any of my people will not come for the party, that was when she made last minute changes and went to book another musician.

The last straw that broke the carmels back was yesterday....I and her have been having some issues of late and we talked over it infact we are just coming out of the tensions....then yesterday morning around 8am she told me that another ex of hers called her overnight and told her that his mum just passed away and he could not think of anyone to call but her cos he is so broken, she said she had sent her condolences already but that she will like to go greet the guy and his siblings cos they are in their fathers house [ the guy is still single ooo although they broke up in 2013] and that she will be able to know about the burial arrangements so she can plan on attending the burial..so she asked me for permission if she could go and pay them a visit yesterday..... Normally i wld not have allowed her but i thought what is she didnt tell me and went there and secondly cos of the tension we just went through and i dont want another tension to build again , i told her i will only allow her to either go greet them yesterday or she goes for the burial ...I told her i will only allow her to choose one . She then asked me in strong tone why i didnt wnat her to attend the burial.....At that point i left the room cos i was not ready for another round of arguments.

She did not say anything again until afternoon, i went to my living room and asked her if she is no more going on the visit again she said she already taken her bath and she will go n prepare now ....she entered the room and started dressing up, i went to meet her in the room and i told her that i allowed her to go cos i already gave her the permission but henceforth i will not allow such again ...Told her she is not the only person with exes , i dont allow issues of any of my own ex brew tension in my marriage , i told her i have an ex whose fathers house is just like 5 mins drive from inside the estate we live and when the man died my ex called me ..all i did was send her my condolence over the phone and i explained that i cant come for the burial cos i have a wife at home whose feelings i respect and that it ends there AT that point my wife flared up to the high heavens .....she started ranting that why am i caging her that i should give her reasons why she should not go that am just so obsessed with her am immmature, insecure and bla bla bla. I told her if loving my wife and protecting the dignity and integrity of my family for obsession then she is totally wrong. She said other men will not have any problem with it that why am i making an issue out of the situation, i explained to her that am not other men , What Mr A is comfortable with may not be so with Mr B cos we all have our individual differences .....One problem my wife have is she does not see reasons why i shld not accept what she seems right to her . I then told her to call any of her elder brother and explain this situation to him if he can allow such ....

This is a woman i never restricted her movements ....i only restricted her twice and they are both on health grounds...When she left i did what i have never done before [ i have never reported her to anybody either my family or hers no matter what happens i find a way we can solve it]...i called her very close friend and explained everything to her, the lady was surprised and she promised to talk to her....I also tried to call her elder brother who is a pastor but his phone is switched off and i have not been able to get through to him .When my wife came back
she did not even greet meat all , she came to take our baby from me which i refused her, she went straight into her room, i later went into the room to lay our baby and i went into the guest room to sleep cos am so much in anger and i dont want the neighbors to hear any noise from my flat.

please i need sincere and honest opinion from married people on here ....i want to know if am at fault and secondly what next step should i take