this is ridiculous pleas sir take hart cause this is a art were a man devious his wife you rely need to talk to the family of ur wife cause not all men can indue this shameful art

ruddyman500:
I got married to my wife in 2017 and we have been living together since, we have a child together but there is this problem with her anytime it has to do with any of her EX. i will cite some of what happened .

She wanted to organise a programme at a time and the person she could think of is one of her ex who happens to be a media guy, i told her point blank that i dont want her to go met the guy but she explained to me how the guy will be of help to her in the programme she is planning, i let her be cos i dont want to be seen as someone throwing spanners in the wheel of her progress, i supported her and the programme was a success.

Another instance was when her mother died, and they were planning the burial ceremony with her brothers...my wife got home and told me that she told her brothers that she will talk to a musician to come play at the ceremony and the said musician happens to be another ex of hers. i told her right there that am not comfortable with it at all how could ur ex come to sing at her mums burial and i will be there dancing to his tunes?...after so much back and forth , i told her i will only attend the church service and i or any of my people will not come for the party, that was when she made last minute changes and went to book another musician.

The last straw that broke the carmels back was yesterday....I and her have been having some issues of late and we talked over it infact we are just coming out of the tensions....then yesterday morning around 8am she told me that another ex of hers called her overnight and told her that his mum just passed away and he could not think of anyone to call but her cos he is so broken, she said she had sent her condolences already but that she will like to go greet the guy and his siblings cos they are in their fathers house [ the guy is still single ooo although they broke up in 2013] and that she will be able to know about the burial arrangements so she can plan on attending the burial..so she asked me for permission if she could go and pay them a visit yesterday..... Normally i wld not have allowed her but i thought what is she didnt tell me and went there and secondly cos of the tension we just went through and i dont want another tension to build again , i told her i will only allow her to either go greet them yesterday or she goes for the burial ...I told her i will only allow her to choose one . She then asked me in strong tone why i didnt wnat her to attend the burial.....At that point i left the room cos i was not ready for another round of arguments.

She did not say anything again until afternoon, i went to my living room and asked her if she is no more going on the visit again she said she already taken her bath and she will go n prepare now ....she entered the room and started dressing up, i went to meet her in the room and i told her that i allowed her to go cos i already gave her the permission but henceforth i will not allow such again ...Told her she is not the only person with exes , i dont allow issues of any of my own ex brew tension in my marriage , i told her i have an ex whose fathers house is just like 5 mins drive from inside the estate we live and when the man died my ex called me ..all i did was send her my condolence over the phone and i explained that i cant come for the burial cos i have a wife at home whose feelings i respect and that it ends there AT that point my wife flared up to the high heavens .....she started ranting that why am i caging her that i should give her reasons why she should not go that am just so obsessed with her am immmature, insecure and bla bla bla. I told her if loving my wife and protecting the dignity and integrity of my family for obsession then she is totally wrong. She said other men will not have any problem with it that why am i making an issue out of the situation, i explained to her that am not other men , What Mr A is comfortable with may not be so with Mr B cos we all have our individual differences .....One problem my wife have is she does not see reasons why i shld not accept what she seems right to her . I then told her to call any of her elder brother and explain this situation to him if he can allow such ....

This is a woman i never restricted her movements ....i only restricted her twice and they are both on health grounds...When she left i did what i have never done before [ i have never reported her to anybody either my family or hers no matter what happens i find a way we can solve it]...i called her very close friend and explained everything to her, the lady was surprised and she promised to talk to her....I also tried to call her elder brother who is a pastor but his phone is switched off and i have not been able to get through to him .When my wife came back
she did not even greet meat all , she came to take our baby from me which i refused her, she went straight into her room, i later went into the room to lay our baby and i went into the guest room to sleep cos am so much in anger and i dont want the neighbors to hear any noise from my flat.

please i need sincere and honest opinion from married people on here ....i want to know if am at fault and secondly what next step should i take

Your wife is the social type. It is high time you gave rules and regulations, if not she would offend you d more let her know the dos and donts,

wetdick:
i cant marry a woman with lot of exes, guess after she has bang everybody she settled for you and then starts playing on your intelligence

she is manipulating you and you are giving her passes for bad behaviours. even allowing her to go visit an ex.

soon, you will lose your wife with all the freedom you are giving her.

give a woman an inch and she'll take a mile

How do you know the one you will marry tomorrow doesn't have a lot of exes? Bro we never know of that, we never know.

15ssDRIVE:


Boss, your nickname and your writing Na total opposite. I would have say,that’s my bishop,but imagine if you go be bishop?
Kpekus go suffer enough calamity’s.

The line that’s says you don’t eat,married Vs.thats the best lyrics in a long time from a honey eaters member.

Blood!!! I throw hands for air for you. Greetings brother.

Such a woman with body counts...plenty exes , she will be easy to get laid, u be ponmo man oo, did u meet her in the club? This kind of woman don't respect the sanctity of marriage...let her be free ooooo, so she can end up returning to her parents house.... Nonsense and APC

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
No no, I didn't defend her. She ought to drop all her exes contacts.
I would definitely get hurt and insecured unless he's such a trustworthy person

I assumed u came to her defence because u failed to condemn her, rather u are suggesting that they should talk as equals n stuffs like that. It's better now that u have pointed out what she should have done.

Who wan hear trustworthy? I can't trust someone (male or female) with some one they have had sex with in the past, it's pure foolishness. I don't even need to check if my wife is trustworthy in the case of seeing many of her ex boyfriends, cuz she isn't even supposed to see them in the first place.

Anyway na the guy fess mess up by allowing her the first time.

Oga watch it! Ya marriage is sitting on explosives. Your wife married you out of desperation when none of her preferred Exs was ready to settle down with her yet, not out of preference for you. Again you were not in charge of the relationship with her that birthed the marriage, so you can't be in charge now in marriage. In fact the more you try now to be in charge, the more she resents and dares you. So prepare to live your life without her in the nearest future. The signs are too clear!

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
They say two wrongs don't make A Right.... Lalalala

Lol, in this situation, it will oh. Him doing that will reset his wife's brain. She will definitely stop.

Akpan107:
Prevention they say, is better than cure.

Allowing your wife visits to her ex, increases her chances of falling for him, especially if she truly loves the ex sexually...

Then she should be thrown out if she cheated.

BuddhaPalm:



Instead of all this hide and seek, why not get a real girlfriend instead?

Instead of you guys quarrelling about her exes, let it now be about YOUR exes or girlfriends.

She should be the one complaining about you...

Two wrongs can't make right. You're trying to correct her my brother and not a competition.
cheers..

musa1987:
My brother, i have similar experience when i got married. a week after our wedding my wife woke up to informed that she want to go to the town to collect phone from her ex who came back from abroad. i just declare that she can go and should not come back home. she brag from that morning till in the night but i refuse to alter a word. i told her to choose her marriage or her ex. some times u need to be rigid to get it right.

Lol. Nice. This is what OP should do. Tell her she’s free to go, but she should not bother to come back. Don’t mince words.

Bakersfield:


My brother I have been in this business called marriage for the last 27 years now. I'm lucky I married my best friend and soul mate. She is from the south east and I'm from the south west of Nigeria. I know some of the hidden secrets of successful, unsecured and unsuccessful marriages.

No long story. Let me tell you the NAKED TRUTH.
YOUR WIFE IS A NYMPHO AND SHE IS BLEEPING HEAVILY WITH HER EX's.

Just like that?

PLS ARE YOU USING SEPTIC WATER TO WASH MOUTH?

My mum was submissive to my dad even when she was right, she showed us submission and made us understand it.... FOR ME TO NOW COME AND SETTLE FOR LESS in a woman who is usurping my authority... I WILL MONITOR HER MORE THAN ANY MONITORING SPIRIT....

Rubbish... that is how men like u permit women to become loose... without MAKING and MOULDING them in respect and honor.

speak for your own mum...
the older generation had more respect than these loose canons we have now

PrecisionFx:


IF u already have zero trust or confidence in ur wife, the marriage is as good as over.

Better talk to ur mum before u get married.

My brother you really have a serious marital issue. I think your wife was the type that always have their way in her family before marriage, I can tell you that all is not well at all keeping in touch with her exs, she probably cheating on you. Let me instruct on how to really know what she is into, play her head and get the phone numbers of those guys, then use the numbers and search them on facebook to get their usernames. Get access to her facebook without her knowledge and block them all, use thesame usernames and open different fake facebook account and send her friend request sequentially and from their start charting and using her head to get some facts. You really have to be smart to prevent infidelity in your home and you must always pray for her.

Oyindidi:
Make I give you bucket to cry?

wooked sombori

Quorax:
wooked sombori

I'm not a wicked person

Oyindidi:
I'm not a wicked person

greatnaija01:
PLS ARE YOU USING SEPTIC WATER TO WASH MOUTH?

My mum was submissive to my dad even when she was right, she showed us submission and made us understand it.... FOR ME TO NOW COME AND SETTLE FOR LESS in a woman who is usurping my authority... I WILL MONITOR HER MORE THAN ANY MONITORING SPIRIT....

Rubbish... that is how men like u permit women to become loose... without MAKING and MOULDING them in respect and honor.

speak for your own mum...
the older generation had more respect than these loose canons we have now

Its like u really do picnic inside this septic tank , cuz u went off course. I never asked u weda ur mother was submissive wen she was wrong or right, that's never the issue I talked about.

I also never asked u to speak for ur mum in anyway.

I never asked how ur mum and ur dad lived their marriage life, I wander how u jumped into all those.






My point is clear, better forget about spying ur wife's phone. If by default u don't trust ur spouse, the marriage is as good as ended. Quite simple.

IdeeEsperanza:
And my bae's ex just invited her to his late dad's burial. Though she asked me if she should go, but from this man's story, omor, she no dey go anyway!

pls let her go. Don't worry he will not cum in her

seriously beat her up then send out of ur hux

meccuno:
Just end it jare. she is not ready for marriage. does it look like as if you are doing boy friend and girl friend?

Even serious relationship between boyfriend and girlfriend, there shouldn't be any talk of ex's talk more a marriage

stupidity:
Blood!!! I throw hands for air for you. Greetings brother.

My Office,great you Sir.

I came to read, to learn, and to comment.

Quorax:

ruddyman500:




ur brain needs to br formated back to factory reset

You get time to answer person wey no get sense

greatnaija01:
You are NOT at fault sir, so pls calm down.

PLS Forgive her.... your wife like most women... does not know the value of the kind of man she has and also she is the immature one.... she has not learned SUBMISSION.... submission is NOT slavery BUT it is letting the man be the HEAD of the HOME... she can only LEARN BY EXPERIENCE... that is the bitter truth.

If not for you, she may have rekindled an old flame in one of the EXes and that may lead to FLIRTING and at the end of the day THEY WILL BE BLAMING THE DEVIL UPANDAN.

Wisdom to apply now is, allow her but Go with her if you can. If she is not comfortable to go with you then SHE HAS OTHER MOTIVES O.....

also CLONE her PHONE.. so that any sms, calls or whatsapp she receives gets into your own phone too.... then u will be able to really handle this thing from the root. When you gather proper facts and evidencies then u can reveal it to family members or church leaders and they can decide what course of action to take.

YOU do not have to be angry yet because she can still say you are just being too sensitive and over protective. In quiet wisdom any hidden thing can be revealed.

Explain to her in LOVE but have a back up plan.
many people hide so much of their true nature till they marry.... their vision for marriage ends with the wedding reception... afterwards a character they never manifested before begins to show up.

Trash

uzoexcel:
Y'all make people like us scared of marriage.

I am a partial introvert; i love having rest/peace of mind especially in my home.I honestly do not know how i am gonna react when/if faced with such issues.

lol..me too... I will just allow her just do whatever she like o. If it make her happy..till It get to a breaking point...I will just divorce her

There is time for everything, its now the mans turn to be humble and pleading with his love to subpedal and change,after a while if she doesn't when it will be her turn to beg the man may no longer be available, whatever you sow you reap.Man take heart I know how it feels when you love someone who takes it for granted.But do not exceed your elastic limit of love to your own detriment.

Kaycee7:
YOU ALL DISGUST ME!

Both the Op who reeks of insecurity and inferiority complex, all of you who couldn't note that Op is the one with issues and most especially, the immature idiots who have already rushed to the conclusion that the wife is cheating, YOU ALL DISGUST ME!

Asin ehn! I wonder o

egojeny1:

Do u think it's all the exes one opens legs for?

. Yes dear..all my exes opened legs for me no exceptions

WINNERMENTALITY:
lol..me too... I will just allow her just do whatever she like o. If it make her happy..till It get to a breaking point...I will just divorce her

.