andyanders:


You are not helpful herein no matter how right you sound. Op explained what she is passing through with a man who first assured her of standing by her during her pregnancy and here he is, doubting if he is the person that is responsible for her pregnancy.

I am a man and understand what a woman goes through during pregnancy. If he is a real man, why not for the sake of the unborn child, see her through this trying period and after this, then seek for whatever means of determining the DNA of the child.

For me, the man is wicked and if the lady has the resources, let her take care of the baby.

Men should not put a woman through pregnancy and abandon such a woman because that is the only time she needs help

noblefuwad:


You play too much � � �

Originalsly:


@ OP.... the above is the bitter truth. What she advised before .... is very good advice. 95% of guys with that condition will have doubts. That should be expected... you know in your heart you slept with him only.... he cannot know that... that's why he's on pause ..waiting for the DNA results. You are on your own... and in his country.... that's not Nigeria... the baby will be German... father German.... mother Nigerian.... you try denying him time with his child.... he files...he will have custody... where would that leave you? But feel free to return here and lament about feelings and what should be.
Take heed of the above advice. A word is good for the wise.

chloride6:


It wouldn't be useful to an unintelligent person...

Have a nice day.

Giftedniye:
From your story, if I was the one, I won't marry him again after all this ill treatments. I won't give him the opportunity of a DNA too. He should just forget about I and the pregnancy. I will move on and take care of myself alone.
Don't you think he would treat you worse in marriage ? Even if you decide to do the DNA and all, I feel you shouldnt marry him. There is no trust in your relationship.
My two cents though .

CiciReally:
Hello every one, am new here, I hope I can get advice and answer to my confusion and challenge

I been dating my man for almost 2 years, Am Nigerian he’s german, he was open to me from beginning about having some infertility issue, he opened up after we had sex unprotected one day and i was worried about him getting a pill because it happened in his country.

He told me not to worry that he can’t father a child 90% so since then we been doing it unprotected and I never missed my period for a day, fast forward to after a year plus I missed my period after we spend my birthday together, being that i never cheated, I msg him asking him on scale of 1 to 100 how sure he is that he can’t father a child, he said 90%, I waited for another week still nothing so i did test and behold am pregnant, he was excited and insisted I must keep it as he never got any woman pregnant and it might be his only chance, I was troubled, always scared of 9 months, I hate hospital and all that challenges that come with pregnant.

I tried to convince him so we get rid of it but he refused and promised to be there for me.

Now 7 months into the pregnancy his behavior changed, from beginning he doesn’t pay for everything i need, hospital bills etc, I do most things on my own cos i felt he’s holding back cos he’s in doubt the baby is his, now flashback to wen i took in he confessed to me how he been going to sm special church in mountain that’s known for helping pple with his issue, prolly God heard his prayer, suddenly he changed, we agreed to get married so my family will get off my neck etc but now he’s giving me conditions, prenup and DNA after baby is born.

I have no issue with any of that but how he always bring it up, I am so hurt, I cry daily cos am � sure baby is his, only asked him to support fully as he promised till baby is born but his family and friends discouraging him, now will it be wicked of me to cut him off have my baby send him a pic, have him do DNA then deny him right to own him?? Cos i don’t think i all ever forget how he treated me the time i needed him most.

XhosaNostra:
If the baby is his, then you have no right to keep him out of his child's life. That is wrong. Your issues are with him. Don't involve the child in your bitterness as this may lead to your downfall. What if he chooses to fight you through the court system for full custody? Is that something you're up for? Is it even worth it? Swallow your pride & let the man be part of his child's life without your baby mama drama. It's not about you!

lilianofentse:
wtf is wrong with you smh

GoldenJAT:
Gosh! Did u even read her write up at all?? You digressed entirely from what was put up there!!! Please be OBJECTIVE AND REALISTIC when next you comment.

yipata:
are u human at all. I mean do u have blood veins in u at all? You are the bitter one. I pity those close to u.

CiciReally:
Hello every one, am new here, I hope I can get advice and answer to my confusion and challenge

I been dating my man for almost 2 years, Am Nigerian he’s german, he was open to me from beginning about having some infertility issue, he opened up after we had sex unprotected one day and i was worried about him getting a pill because it happened in his country.

He told me not to worry that he can’t father a child 90% so since then we been doing it unprotected and I never missed my period for a day, fast forward to after a year plus I missed my period after we spend my birthday together, being that i never cheated, I msg him asking him on scale of 1 to 100 how sure he is that he can’t father a child, he said 90%, I waited for another week still nothing so i did test and behold am pregnant, he was excited and insisted I must keep it as he never got any woman pregnant and it might be his only chance, I was troubled, always scared of 9 months, I hate hospital and all that challenges that come with pregnant.

I tried to convince him so we get rid of it but he refused and promised to be there for me.

Now 7 months into the pregnancy his behavior changed, from beginning he doesn’t pay for everything i need, hospital bills etc, I do most things on my own cos i felt he’s holding back cos he’s in doubt the baby is his, now flashback to wen i took in he confessed to me how he been going to sm special church in mountain that’s known for helping pple with his issue, prolly God heard his prayer, suddenly he changed, we agreed to get married so my family will get off my neck etc but now he’s giving me conditions, prenup and DNA after baby is born.

I have no issue with any of that but how he always bring it up, I am so hurt, I cry daily cos am � sure baby is his, only asked him to support fully as he promised till baby is born but his family and friends discouraging him, now will it be wicked of me to cut him off have my baby send him a pic, have him do DNA then deny him right to own him?? Cos i don’t think i all ever forget how he treated me the time i needed him most.

lilianofentse:
wtf is wrong with you smh

XhosaNostra:
If the baby is his, then you have no right to keep him out of his child's life. That is wrong. Your issues are with him. Don't involve the child in your bitterness as this may lead to your downfall. What if he chooses to fight you through the court system for full custody? Is that something you're up for? Is it even worth it? Swallow your pride & let the man be part of his child's life without your baby mama drama. It's not about you!

CiciReally:
Hello every one, am new here, I hope I can get advice and answer to my confusion and challenge

I been dating my man for almost 2 years, Am Nigerian he’s german, he was open to me from beginning about having some infertility issue, he opened up after we had sex unprotected one day and i was worried about him getting a pill because it happened in his country.

He told me not to worry that he can’t father a child 90% so since then we been doing it unprotected and I never missed my period for a day, fast forward to after a year plus I missed my period after we spend my birthday together, being that i never cheated, I msg him asking him on scale of 1 to 100 how sure he is that he can’t father a child, he said 90%, I waited for another week still nothing so i did test and behold am pregnant, he was excited and insisted I must keep it as he never got any woman pregnant and it might be his only chance, I was troubled, always scared of 9 months, I hate hospital and all that challenges that come with pregnant.

I tried to convince him so we get rid of it but he refused and promised to be there for me.

Now 7 months into the pregnancy his behavior changed, from beginning he doesn’t pay for everything i need, hospital bills etc, I do most things on my own cos i felt he’s holding back cos he’s in doubt the baby is his, now flashback to wen i took in he confessed to me how he been going to sm special church in mountain that’s known for helping pple with his issue, prolly God heard his prayer, suddenly he changed, we agreed to get married so my family will get off my neck etc but now he’s giving me conditions, prenup and DNA after baby is born.

I have no issue with any of that but how he always bring it up, I am so hurt, I cry daily cos am � sure baby is his, only asked him to support fully as he promised till baby is born but his family and friends discouraging him, now will it be wicked of me to cut him off have my baby send him a pic, have him do DNA then deny him right to own him?? Cos i don’t think i all ever forget how he treated me the time i needed him most.

XhosaNostra:


Well, have it your way. But just know that as a father, he also has as much parental rights as you do, regardless of how you feel or what transpired. Quite frankly, no court cares about feelings. It is in your best interest to adjust your attitude & sort out your feelings before the arrival of the baby because whether you like it or not, co-parenting is a possibility you're going to have to live with for the next 18 years. It's non-negotiable. Oopsie!

XhosaNostra:


Haaaaa! OK.

XhosaNostra:


They're not married. He's not obligated to be supportive at this stage. His responsibility begins the moment the child is born. She's a grown woman, she should handle her situation like an adult. She's not the 1st nor the last to go through something like this. Boohoo. What do you want me to say?

kaziblake:
With this comment my suspicions are true about your gender

laptopsale:
Parental rights my foot, you will do worse if you were in her shoes, women always find a reason to go hard on their fellow women.
from all she said about the man not supporting her,hurting her and making feel abandoned the only the you could picked is the Op shutting the door on her man once the baby is born?

XhosaNostra:


They're not married. He's not obligated to be supportive at this stage. His responsibility begins the moment the child is born. She's a grown woman, she should handle her situation like an adult. She's not the 1st nor the last to go through something like this. Boohoo. What do you want me to say?

XhosaNostra:


You can go ahead & coddle her, I'm not going to. I gave her an advice void of emotions because that's basically what it is going to boil down to if she doesn't tread carefully. You can focus on the emotional side of it, nobody is stopping you.

XhosaNostra:
If the baby is his, then you have no right to keep him out of his child's life. That is wrong. Your issues are with him. Don't involve the child in your bitterness as this may lead to your downfall. What if he chooses to fight you through the court system for full custody? Is that something you're up for? Is it even worth it? Swallow your pride & let the man be part of his child's life without your baby mama drama. It's not about you!