Mariangeles:
You're insensitive .

CiciReally:

@XhosaNostra Pls dear read carefully before judging or calling me bitter and tagging me dramatic, coming from a fellow woman, is it okey that he got me in this situation then backed out? To come back wen the storm is over, what sort of man or father is he? What will it cost him to stand by me till is time to confirm his doubt, I hav no issue if he doesn’t even pay the bills but that support mean the world, am new to this no friends or family around but him.

CiciReally:
Hello every one, am new here, I hope I can get advice and answer to my confusion and challenge

I been dating my man for almost 2 years, Am Nigerian he’s german, he was open to me from beginning about having some infertility issue, he opened up after we had sex unprotected one day and i was worried about him getting a pill because it happened in his country.

He told me not to worry that he can’t father a child 90% so since then we been doing it unprotected and I never missed my period for a day, fast forward to after a year plus I missed my period after we spend my birthday together, being that i never cheated, I msg him asking him on scale of 1 to 100 how sure he is that he can’t father a child, he said 90%, I waited for another week still nothing so i did test and behold am pregnant, he was excited and insisted I must keep it as he never got any woman pregnant and it might be his only chance, I was troubled, always scared of 9 months, I hate hospital and all that challenges that come with pregnant.

I tried to convince him so we get rid of it but he refused and promised to be there for me.

Now 7 months into the pregnancy his behavior changed, from beginning he doesn’t pay for everything i need, hospital bills etc, I do most things on my own cos i felt he’s holding back cos he’s in doubt the baby is his, now flashback to wen i took in he confessed to me how he been going to sm special church in mountain that’s known for helping pple with his issue, prolly God heard his prayer, suddenly he changed, we agreed to get married so my family will get off my neck etc but now he’s giving me conditions, prenup and DNA after baby is born.

I have no issue with any of that but how he always bring it up, I am so hurt, I cry daily cos am � sure baby is his, only asked him to support fully as he promised till baby is born but his family and friends discouraging him, now will it be wicked of me to cut him off have my baby send him a pic, have him do DNA then deny him right to own him?? Cos i don’t think i all ever forget how he treated me the time i needed him most.

CiciReally:
Hello every one, am new here, I hope I can get advice and answer to my confusion and challenge

I been dating my man for almost 2 years, Am Nigerian he’s german, he was open to me from beginning about having some infertility issue, he opened up after we had sex unprotected one day and i was worried about him getting a pill because it happened in his country.

He told me not to worry that he can’t father a child 90% so since then we been doing it unprotected and I never missed my period for a day, fast forward to after a year plus I missed my period after we spend my birthday together, being that i never cheated, I msg him asking him on scale of 1 to 100 how sure he is that he can’t father a child, he said 90%, I waited for another week still nothing so i did test and behold am pregnant, he was excited and insisted I must keep it as he never got any woman pregnant and it might be his only chance, I was troubled, always scared of 9 months, I hate hospital and all that challenges that come with pregnant.

I tried to convince him so we get rid of it but he refused and promised to be there for me.

some men are basterds! he convinced you to keep the baby and now the german nigger is reneging

Now 7 months into the pregnancy his behavior changed, from beginning he doesn’t pay for everything i need, hospital bills etc, I do most things on my own cos i felt he’s holding back cos he’s in doubt the baby is his, now flashback to wen i took in he confessed to me how he been going to sm special church in mountain that’s known for helping pple with his issue, prolly God heard his prayer, suddenly he changed, we agreed to get married so my family will get off my neck etc but now he’s giving me conditions, prenup and DNA after baby is born.

I have no issue with any of that but how he always bring it up, I am so hurt, I cry daily cos am � sure baby is his, only asked him to support fully as he promised till baby is born but his family and friends discouraging him, now will it be wicked of me to cut him off have my baby send him a pic, have him do DNA then deny him right to own him?? Cos i don’t think i all ever forget how he treated me the time i needed him most.

AntiWailer:
Give birth to your baby. Prove the baby is his with DNA

Just take child support from him.

DO NOT SIGN A PRENUP in desperate attempt to be married to him.

If u want to sign, get a neutral lawyer to review it for you.

XhosaNostra:


That's not being judgmental, that's being realistic, dearie.

CiciReally:

@XhosaNostra Pls dear read carefully before judging or calling me bitter and tagging me dramatic, coming from a fellow woman, is it okey that he got me in this situation then backed out? To come back wen the storm is over, what sort of man or father is he? What will it cost him to stand by me till is time to confirm his doubt, I hav no issue if he doesn’t even pay the bills but that support mean the world, am new to this no friends or family around but him.

Opiletool:


After he tricked her into a position she doesn't want to be? Do you lack analytical skills?
I think those that called you names were right about you.

kristosky:


U are not serious at all just full parallel thoughts

dingbang:
so this is the new trick to have sex with a girl without condom

vankaid:

You are just being a child.
And I am sure you are a guy sef.
In all your so called realism you never considered her emotions and things she can possibly do to get back at the jerk that impregnated her. And you made it look like court will just tie the three of them together for 18 years just because he supplied semen and ran off.
Women have more power on this kind of things if you don't know. Some joint custody is fruitless for men.
All that aside, no atom of pity or empathy from you and she specially asked for it.
Too many kids on nairaland.

CiciReally:
Thanks so much, just concerned about safe delivery now, definitely won’t be that wicked to deny him right to see his child just that it hurts so much and am stuck with him for long as the child bind us. Ur answers r relieving

XhosaNostra:
If the baby is his, then you have no right to keep him out of his child's life. That is wrong. Your issues are with him. Don't involve the child in your bitterness as this may lead to your downfall. What if he chooses to fight you through the court system for full custody? Is that something you're up for? Is it even worth it? Swallow your pride & let the man be part of his child's life without your baby mama drama. It's not about you!

CiciReally:

@XhosaNostra Pls dear read carefully before judging or calling me bitter and tagging me dramatic, coming from a fellow woman, is it okey that he got me in this situation then backed out? To come back wen the storm is over, what sort of man or father is he? What will it cost him to stand by me till is time to confirm his doubt, I hav no issue if he doesn’t even pay the bills but that support mean the world, am new to this no friends or family around but him.

XhosaNostra:


And do I care about those that called me names? Nope.

The thing you're missing out here is, no amount of dilly-dallying & pity partying is going to change the situation as it is. What happened, happened. What's more important now is how she goes about it going forward, not this boohoo, emotionally-laden response you're expecting.

CiciReally:

@XhosaNostra Pls dear read carefully before judging or calling me bitter and tagging me dramatic, coming from a fellow woman, is it okey that he got me in this situation then backed out? To come back wen the storm is over, what sort of man or father is he? What will it cost him to stand by me till is time to confirm his doubt, I hav no issue if he doesn’t even pay the bills but that support mean the world, am new to this no friends or family around but him.

dingbang:
so this is the new trick to have sex with a girl without condom

austyn0:

I was about walking into a ditch with my thoughts before you drew me back with this. I am deeply impressed.

Truly, she shouldn't allow that child grow up fatherless, she shouldn't bring that child into the bad mistakes they both made in life.

It wasn't the child that requested she continue raw sex with the man despite knowing he is not 100% impotent. Whatever that happened between them should stay between them and allow the Innocent child know both his/her parents.

Nice one dear

dingbang:
so this is the new trick to have sex with a girl without condom

Opiletool:


Let me tell you something, I also find it difficult to filter my words. As a matter of fact, most people know me for being so direct, regardless of the recipient's emotional state. But, there is a thin line between being firm and being insensitive. I got to realise that and started analysing the emotional state of a situation before giving my thought. Not because I don't want to be harsh, but because of the likely outcome which might be devastating for the victim.

The advice you gave is not far from the truth, it is infact the outright reality. However, the way you gave it, is a bit too harsh for someone in such a delicate position. Just imagine every comment on this thread is like that, who knows if the op is suicidal? Considering the fact that people now find it easy to take their own lives. Please, look at the emotional state of a subject before dishing out your opinion, hence, the harshness might erode the reality you're trying to portray.

XhosaNostra:


They're not married. He's not obligated to be supportive at this stage. His responsibility begins the moment the child is born. She's a grown woman, she should handle her situation like an adult. She's not the 1st nor the last to go through something like this. Boohoo. What do you want me to say?

XhosaNostra:


She has a better life than me how? LOL!

XhosaNostra:


Well, have it your way. But just know that as a father, he also has as much parental rights as you do, regardless of how you feel or what transpired. Quite frankly, no court cares about feelings. It is in your best interest to adjust your attitude & sort out your feelings before the arrival of the baby because whether you like it or not, co-parenting is a possibility you're going to have to live with for the next 18 years. It's non-negotiable. Oopsie!

ghettochild4u:

Full custody my foot... Which court will grant that for a baby not even toddler.. Use ur brain jor ok I guess u forgot say na abroad dem dey.. Even naija sef.. Which court will do it when d mother is sane n healthy

XhosaNostra:


I'm glad someone else gets it. Others seem focused on playing the little violin for her, instead of focusing on the bigger picture. Because the moment she pops out that baby, the rules will change & it's up to her to play it smart by not letting her emotions get the best of her. He could use that to his advantage in the court system, where emotions count for fuckall.

dingbang:
so this is the new trick to have sex with a girl without condom