Hi Guys,

I may not be as coherent as you will want, but I will try my best to narrate all that I can.

I just hit my mid 20's and although I have always suspected, I now acknowledge that I have been a victim of ADHD.

For those of you who don't know what ADHD is- Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder. It is a mental block that is accompannied with anxiety, low attention span, brain "slowing down" Inability to focus on any given task or excessive impuslse on a given task, disorgarnization, inability to plan for the future... etc. It affected me so much, growing up, I would have classified myself as dumb, except that I was quite good in maths, which many seemed to be bad at, so " I should't be the dumbest afterall"


However, people bullied me, whenever I get into conversations, I was always slow to process whatever someone said that I was often tagged slow, but not completely slow as I was usually in a "higher position" in class than whoever was calling me such name. Now, growing up where I have to be more responsible for myself and other things in my environment, I find this being a daily pain. Examples of this is and not limited to:


1. Not knowing where I keep things I was literarilly holding a second ago, feeling very frustrated about it, trying to prove to myself that I am not that slow, then forgetting the next thing I was holding in the process of looking for it, or completely forgetting why I needed it in the first place.

2. Being slow to process whatever someone is telling me, cos it seems my brain takes too slow to just understand, so basically, whenever someone tells me something, I reask or repharase to actually completely understand the message being passed.Making me appear dumb at times. This happens more when people use more pronouns in conversations as I just completely lose the plot of whatever is being said.

3. I can't understand things without visualizing them and I am always baffled whenever I see people easily grasp a concept so fast, espescially in the industry where I work where a lot of things are so abstract, I totally get lost most times.

This has led my dad tofeeling frustrated and insulting me growing up, as I always draw him back, or I am usually slow to just understand whatever he is explaining.

I basically learn best whenever there is a visual representaton of the subject matter.

I basically wonder how people learn and accept new concepts, while I struggle to understand how they do

I ll post more as I remember

Growing up with ADHD was never fun.

I made so many silly mistakes which always made me question my brain. My dad always insulted me as he was the complete opposiite of me. He was highly orgarnized, never impulsive, always in control, very smart, never fazed.. etc. And although I studied a technical course in school, I still often acted dumb. More reasons why I consider myself slow is that:

I did not understand that people do business to make profit till I turned 20. I just had no clue what a business was. Always used to see business as some shitty thing where everyone adds "profit" to a product from the manufacturer, amking it unneccerily expensive and always questioned how the whole world, with different race and tribe, accepted that as a norm.

I struggled to understand how a civilian government works, where an ordinary person can control highly trained military. I always questioned why body guards, never ofetn shoot their masters and just flee- afterall, you have the gun, you have the power.

I know this may seem dumb, but it is just the way my brain works and whenever I cannot find a resolution with these questions, my mind begins to wonder. I cannot study such subject matters further as I do not even believe the fundamentals.

This affects me a lot.

A very significant part of my ADHD is the way I drift out of attention. I basically find myself drifting and living in my own head.

I could be having a conversation with a friend at home, then the next in my head will be thinking why my colleague at work said "the item list is in the database" then I am there thinking what is a database and the different types of database and how the particular database was being used in that context, and how the database was being fetched.

I basically swim in my head trying to resolve everything I know so as not to feel dumb as I see people around me easily using words and terms and concepts, while I am questioning why don't I get it... Why whyyyyyyyyyy?

It affects me so much I try to resolve theories I learn with practicals around me, and if it doesn't fit, I am literarilly walking accross the room or house playing this up in my head. Basically, I never full inderstand stuff, till I take the information in my head, then walk around the house htinking about it. Then i begin to swim around it in a virtual world.

More often than not, I am in a state of incompleteness... Feeling that my mind will never settle down... I will always be a noob trying to prove to myself that I am not one. It never ends.

Now, unfortunately, I work in tech sector where I sit closely with my boss who is quite the all techy nerd with elaborate techvocabulary, and there I feel rattled. I often can't focus, as I am thinking I do not deserve to be in that position... Maybe I am not smart enough. Maybe I am dumb... So I am in a constant chase for perfection at the most tiniest of things.... Not cleaning spilled stuff, not putting my bottel in the right place, not being able to recollect whatever questions he asks with details and in clarity. Sometimes struggling for breadth while talking..

I am a shadow of myself.

Am I a total noob ??

This has affected me so much, I dont consider my family really close to me.

I see people celebrate their parents out there and in my mind, the only thing I have of them is appreciation. Nothing else.
I was always made to feel stupid whenever my adhd made me make mistakes, that I am completely mentally alienated from them.

I sought joy in other things, to help me keep going. I see people say things like they love their parents ... etc.. I look within and see none of htat. I may be wrong, but thats how I see it. I feel they don't know me.

I now look online to see the way people are living their lives, before I know what to be doing/ should be doing in life's situations

Please comment if you have anything useful to share

Everything I do feels like I used a large amount of effort to accomplish or was insignificant.

I see people dedicate their success or life to their families, and I am there confused as my family absolutely do not know what I am going through.

I feel like I don't understand anything anymore that I do have to search online to even get acknowledgement of any little thing I do

You are a special kid. It breaks my heart on the lack of understanding and support you get from people whom you expected better from.

This is the time to take back your power, understand yourself and unleash your true potentials.

Those questions you raised are very valid for any self reflective mind. Now, when your mind drifts away and goes all philosophical, infuse comedy into it and laugh out loud on the madness we've all come to accept as norm.

Meditate more often to calm and have some control over your mind to unleash and milk all it's creative potential. Imagine the joy you would feel birthing those visual ideas of yours into the material?

The only thing I see wrong with you is that you are special. Find yourself.

I am so so sorry to hear this. ADHD is real. Your solution is that

1) you need to have everything written down including your plans, tasks, messages etc
2) Get yourself a diary.

3) Your parents have realized that people with ADHD need a strict life of instructions to get them used to the system. Unfortunately, they are doing it wrongly due to lack of knowledge.

4) Learn to explain things to yourself using plots, diagrams and charts.

That said, I really understand you and for my part, will show better understanding to those who have it around me. Cheer up mate!

Smile. You're alright. Only the strongest overcome these things and live to advise others.

Just so you know... I USED TO HAVE ADHD. I still have occasional pull backs but have learned to use charts and lists to set my priorities. Trust me, you can't go wrong this way!

OP, first get yourself diagnosed. In everything you’ve written, I’m yet to read where a medical diagnosis stated that you have this ailment. To surprise you, in exactly like you. I forget literally everything except academics. I believed I had same disease but I never got any diagnosis. I also believe that you can train your mind to work the way you want it to.

@OP,

Your only crime is being a Nigerian. I mean this is largely the only country on earth where parents insult innocent kids over hereditary and pregnancy related infections or problems. Sad to know that you're a victim of generational ignorance. Nigerians always consider poverty, instead of ignorance, as their greatest enemy.

Your condition is manageable, ignorance is why at 25, you're still battling with ADHD with no help in sight. Funny thing is some of the drugs required to manage this condition cost less than N2000/month.

You should talk to a Doctor, preferably one with specialty in behavioral science. ADHD is not an act of God.

Op, pls help us by telling us how you diagnosed the ADHD. WE NEED TO BE SURE before dropping ideas.

flyingdutchman:
I am so so sorry to hear this. ADHD is real. Your solution is that

1) you need to have everything written down including your plans, tasks, messages etc
2) Get yourself a diary.

3) Your parents have realized that people with ADHD need a strict life of instructions to get them used to the system. Unfortunately, they are doing it wrongly due to lack of knowledge.

4) Learn to explain things to yourself using plots, diagrams and charts.

That said, I really understand you and for my part, will show better understanding to those who have it around me. Cheer up mate!

Smile. You're alright. Only the strongest overcome these things and live to advise others.

Just so you know... I USED TO HAVE ADHD. I still have occasional pull backs but have learned to use charts and lists to set my priorities. Trust me, you can't go wrong this way!

Arjen Robben, You are one of my favourite players.

Damsonkc:
OP, first get yourself diagnosed. In everything you’ve written, I’m yet to read where a medical diagnosis stated that you have this ailment. To surprise you, in exactly like you. I forget literally everything except academics. I believed I had same disease but I never got any diagnosis. I also believe that you can train your mind to work the way you want it to.

Thanks brother.

I always thought I could train my mind... But it feels hard... Like a constant battle with my mind... A never ending spinning wheel.
But thanks again

Acidosis:

@OP,

Your only crime is being a Nigerian. I mean this is largely the only country on earth where parents insult innocent kids over hereditary and pregnancy related infections or problems. Sad to know that you're a victim of generational ignorance. Nigerians always consider poverty, instead of ignorance, as their greatest enemy.

Your condition is manageable, ignorance is why at 25, you're still battling with ADHD with no help in sight. Funny thing is some of the drugs required to manage this condition cost less than N2000/month.

You should talk to a Doctor, preferably one with specialty in behavioral science. ADHD is not an act of God.

Thanks brother, although I have always hated the idea of medication, I nowadays consider it strongly to help keep manage it all

dgitrader:
Op, pls help us by telling us how you diagnosed the ADHD. WE NEED TO BE SURE before dropping ideas.

I may be wrong with my diagnosis... But I don't know if the symptoms I put up there,... And many more... Eg: not being able to think properly with my body still.. Typically, I have to walk around a room or on the road to get my brain kicking

U r at very vital point of self-descovery, pls and pls engage medical experts before u proceed. Its dangerous to assume based on google searches. Get expert opinion first.

Your symptoms are similar to that which a friend of mine used to have. He was diagnosed with ADHD and was on medications (Ritalin) but is getting off medications of recent due to improvements.
You also need a friend who who feel you can trust with your issue and understands it to a certain degree, such person could help you with your forgetfulness and also make you feel normal. Cheer up, everything will be OK

You might not know this, but your posts are funny (laced with humour I mean) and I am not in any way trivialising your issue
I don’t really have a point, cos you have to get a medical diagnosis and or can also learn from people who feel the way you do, who can relate
But just know, that you made a healing and recovering person laugh, and feel better, so thank you
I wish the same to you
(Your humour has to be in the way you narrate, ask questions too, and the general cluelessness (and innocence) therein)

I have a suggestion
Show this thread to your parents and family- I am sure of the positive effects it would have on you guys)
Rooting for you, cheers

Chubhie:

Arjen Robben, You are one of my favourite players.

Robin v. Persie is the flying Dutchman.

OP you sound like you are describing a billionaire genius. Start thinking of starting your own company.

BrownCarton:
Am I a total noob ??

Hear the word of the Sovereign LORD O simple one:

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.--Jeremiah 29:11

Others were given in exchange for you. I traded their lives for yours because you are precious to me. You are honored, and I love you.--Isaiah 43:4

If only you had paid attention to my commands, your peace would have been like a river, and your well-being like the waves of the sea.--Isaiah--48:18

Submit to God and be at peace with him; in this way all will be well with you.--Job 22:21

The ear that listens to the reproves of life abides among the wise!!!

Omg i have been wondering what is wrong with my neice for a long time, i think i now understand, will make sure she visit the doctor.

I can only imagine the troubles and battles going on in your mind. what you describe are symptoms of ADHD . I have one in my class and he's only a younger version of your descriptions. good in maths and things he does with his hands but find it hard to grabs abstract concepts. his parents just like yours wouldn't seek medical help.
I think you should talk to a behavioral doctor and see what happens from there .
if you are a believer in Christ , please do reach out to him , too. He cares

suregalluv:
Your symptoms are similar to that which a friend of mine used to have. He was diagnosed with ADHD and was on medications (Ritalin) but is getting off medications of recent due to improvements.
K

Hello, please is your friend in Nigeria? I want to buy Ritalin but I can't find it anywhere.

Please help with his doctors contact if you can, its extremely important

izzimus:


Hello, please is your friend in Nigeria? I want to buy Ritalin but I can't find it anywhere.

Please help with his doctors contact if you can, its extremely important

He purchased them from the Psychiatric hospital in calabar, where he stays. Have you visited government hospitals within your area?

[quote

izzimus:


They have rubifen, not Ritalin. Rubifen does nothing for me, I really need this Ritalin, its a life and death issue, I cant concentrate on anything and am plagued by anxiety. I just want this problem to end so I can live a normal life. If your friend is willing to buy and send to me I will be eternally grateful. I will even give him a token for helping, please help me ask him. Am desperate.

Please.....

Sure you ain't beginning to get addicted to it? You should have a doc who prescribes your medics and should be able to order Ritalin for you...except of course you're abusing it.

Pls I need where to find this drug in Abuja, I thought I was born dull but 1 pill changed my life in 2hrs

I have ADHD as well and it has been a never-ending battle for me. Just tired of it.

Cchuks27:
I have ADHD as well and it has been a never-ending battle for me.

Have you been officially diagnosed?

For those diagnosed and already on medication, you need to incorporate one on one therapy sessions and support groups as part of your treatment plan