Beautyaddy:


No necessary true.

It depends on how much is being paid from that menial jobs and how much hours with overtime they are willing to work for.

Please don’t be foolish, minimum wage does not pay. That why it’s called minimum wage. And in the us , u should know that companies don’t like to give you a lot of hours so that they don’t have to pay benefits . People on this forum get bad belle. The guys wants to better himself and people are advising him to do menial jobs. I’m not advising him to back to Nigeria . But he should able to be able to do better , he too young to get stuck in the system.

Profkenny1:


No, I never said the Naija based girls were better. My point was that do NOT marry any girl in the west or do NOT marry a girl in Naija and bring her to the west....she will ruin your life and make you miserable unless you really wanna be a slave. If you don't always put her on a pedestal she will file domestic violence against your as.s....Women, by nature, are Selfish and Evil!

do NOT marry any girl in the west or do NOT marry a girl in Naija and bring her to the west

So where should one marry from na.?

Again, let's all stop talking about "menial" jobs. I see someone has used the term "minimum wage" to refer to them; that's much better. "Low skilled" might also work. There's dignity in labour; as we say where I come from "Money doesn't smell".

The faster those of us abroad drop our skewed, wannabe-elitist thinking, the less angst there will be.

willy2000:


do NOT marry any girl in the west or do NOT marry a girl in Naija and bring her to the west

So where should one marry from na.?

It's no more advisable to be married in the West. It's become a raw deal for men here in the West. Women here see men as disposable utilities, and with the gynolunatic laws they can ruin your life! Sincerely the juice ain't worth the squeeze anymore.

If you want to marry, then marry and leave your wife in a sane country where men and women are treated equally and where the laws are not biased against men. You can marry a girl in Naija and leave her there. Have kids with her (maximum of 2 children and make sure you do DNA tests IMMEDIATELY they are birthed because you don't wanna raise another man's sperm!), build her and your children a house making sure your sisters are close to them and your wife and kids are under their radar.

The rate at which men commit suicide after getting divorce-raped in western family courts is alarming! You don't wanna be a married man here!

aariwa:
Don't marry such lady.If you marry a toxic one as many of them are you will end up failing in your education and career as you will loose focus in life.Abroad is 80% focus on the ball.If you marry a toxic person that will cause distraction in your life,you will end up in minimum wage and then welfare before you are 50.Why are you in a hurry .She never paid for your flight to Germany. If they are desperate they should fly down to Nigeria and pay for flight and green card for those jobless young boys in travel section of Nairaland. You have option of Canada or Australia or starting your good business idea in Nigeria

Op you should pay close attention to this advice. If you go into a marriage because you want to live in a better country, you are doomed. The nice woman will become toxic, once you become a liability. The Western world is not like Nigeria where people get jobs and keep them, even if they are incompetent. The black man is the lowest on the totem pole and if he can't do a job, he will be discharged from the job.

A lot of Nigerians believe that a certificate is all that is needed. In the West you need experience and competence. Without those two things, you will surely do menial jobs. A woman can tolerate the menial jobs, but what she won't tolerate is a man who does not work or contribute fairly to the household bills. Once you are a liability, you will see the worse side of your female counterpart. There is no love without money. There is no love without money. In fact, that sweet woman will began to hate you if you don't conform to the way of life in the West. Miss her birthday, anniversary, mother's day, Christmas, without giving her a gift and you will end up in tears. Women are not seeking food in the West. They are seeking love and security. Until you can provide those things, stay on your own and build yourself.

Babyvet:


Please don’t be foolish, minimum wage does not pay. That why it’s called minimum wage. And in the us , u should know that companies don’t like to give you a lot of hours so that they don’t have to pay benefits . People on this forum get bad belle. The guys wants to better himself and people are advising him to do menial jobs. I’m not advising him to back to Nigeria . But he should able to be able to do better , he too young to get stuck in the system.

No need to use that word na.

And yes, doing overtime might not be possible from one job but they could get more hours working with another job.

Profkenny1:


It's no more advisable to be married in the West. It's become a raw deal for men here in the West. Women here see men as disposable utilities, and with the gynolunatic laws they can ruin your life! Sincerely the juice ain't worth the squeeze anymore.

If you want to marry, then marry and leave your wife in a sane country where men and women are treated equally and where the laws are not biased against men. You can marry a girl in Naija and leave her there. Have kids with her (maximum of 2 children and make sure you do DNA tests IMMEDIATELY they are birthed because you don't wanna raise another man's sperm!), build her and your children a house making sure your sisters are close to them and your wife and kids are under their radar.

The rate at which men commit suicide after getting divorce-raped in western family courts is alarming! You don't wanna be a married man here!

.
Isn't being a baby daddy better than marrying a woman and leaving her in another part of the planet? Now, you want to have your wife and kids under the radar while you are not? Why starve a woman from love and affection if what you need are children?

Let experience be your best teacher. I believe you can decipher the wise advice given you in the midst of clueless ones, good luck on your decision.


PS: Don't ever take advice from someone without personal experience and there are many such pips here.

Profkenny1:


No, I never said the Naija based girls were better. My point was that do NOT marry any girl in the west or do NOT marry a girl in Naija and bring her to the west....she will ruin your life and make you miserable unless you really wanna be a slave. If you don't always put her on a pedestal she will file domestic violence against your as.s....Women, by nature, are Selfish and Evil!

Really?

Men who have the mentality of your highlighted statement are men with Very Low Esteem.

Profkenny1:


It's no more advisable to be married in the West. It's become a raw deal for men here in the West. Women here see men as disposable utilities, and with the gynolunatic laws they can ruin your life! Sincerely the juice ain't worth the squeeze anymore.

If you want to marry, then marry and leave your wife in a sane country where men and women are treated equally and where the laws are not biased against men. You can marry a girl in Naija and leave her there. Have kids with her (maximum of 2 children and make sure you do DNA tests IMMEDIATELY they are birthed because you don't wanna raise another man's sperm!), build her and your children a house making sure your sisters are close to them and your wife and kids are under their radar.

The rate at which men commit suicide after getting divorce-raped in western family courts is alarming! You don't wanna be a married man here!

Very contradicting and wrong statement.

Men and women in Nigeria are not treated equally.

Beautyaddy:


Really?

Men who have the mentality of your highlighted statement are men with Very Low Esteem.

OK! I take that as a compliment as long as my low self esteem puts me in the top 10% in the US!

Beautyaddy:


Very contradicting and wrong statement.

Men and women in Nigeria are not treated equally.

I saw the fallacy in his statement, but I wanted more clarity from him.

How can you think of marrying someone and not wanting to be her?
Maybe, there is another definition of marriage which I am unaware of.

willy2000:
.
Isn't being a baby daddy better than marrying a woman and leaving her in another part of the planet? Now, you want to have your wife and kids under the radar while you are not? Why starve a woman from love and affection if what you need are children?

Women DON'T love men for who they are! They only care about what men can provide for them! Let that sink into you bro! Y'all need to unlearn the BS we were taught while growing up!

Beautyaddy:


No need to use that word na.

And yes, doing overtime might not be possible from one job but they could get more hours working with another job.

Unless your from extreme property in nigeria( which I highly doubt , because visa costs and plane tickets are not cheap) doing menial job is not okay unless your standard are very low especially at the OP age. Minimum wage jobs can never be okay in the long run, especially when you become are older . Europe taxes are very high so left over income would be limited . This poor mindset is what keeps some Africans progressing abroad.

Beautyaddy:


No need to use that word na.

And yes, doing overtime might not be possible from one job but they could get more hours working with another job.

Unless your from extreme property in nigeria( which I highly doubt , because visa costs and plane tickets are not cheap) doing menial job is not okay unless your standard are very low especially at the OP age. Minimum wage jobs can never be okay in the long run, especially when you become are older . Europe taxes are very high so left over income would be limited . This poor mindset is what keeps some Nigerians progressing abroad.

willy2000:

I saw the fallacy in his statement, but I wanted more clarity from him.

How can you think of marrying someone and not wanting to be her?
Maybe, there is another definition of marriage which I am unaware of.

Beats me too.

I think I already gave him a response on another post he made.

Most men who do such are the ones with very low esteem and use it as a tactic to abuse and control their wives.

Profkenny1:


Women DON'T love men for who they are! They only care about what men can provide for them! Let that sink into you bro! Y'all need to unlearn the BS we were taught while growing up!

We all know that. Men should also stop looking for love from them and seek what they can get from them and make it a symbiotic life.
You need my money fine. I need children and stress relieve whenever I need it. Punkt.

ShyWhale:
I am a Nigerian in Germany with a German Masters degree.

Bro, I'm in the same situation like you. Little over one year left on the work visa, constant thoughts to move to naija cos mehn i'm not cutout for some menial jobs here after my masters studies but from what I read here today, I have second thoughts now.

There are a number of nigerians doing prof. Jobs and there are those who enjoy the menial ones but I have to say, you need to give up the idea that africans are given the least priority when you apply for jobs. If you hold on to that, you won't send at least 2 applications a day. It's hard composing a great cover letter and getting a rejection almost immediately but don't give up. It's hard seeing you are a perfect fit for a job and never chosen. Still, never give up.

A friend of mine who got a job with about 2 months left said the magic number is 100 apps. Until then, you have done nothing. You need to improve your german while you send those apps and you need to do the menial jobs to survive while you await the prof jobs. Nothing is easy bro. Get yourself enrolled in another masters and learn something new on youtube as internet is readily available.

I wish you all the best bro. We will get through this!!!

Beautyaddy:


Very contradicting and wrong statement.

Men and women in Nigeria are not treated equally.

yes, men are recruited to fight and die in Sambisa forest. men take up low-paying dangerous jobs, dying on the job while building civilization. The average jobless man in Nigeria is shamed for being poor and said to not be a real man.

ShyWhale:


I only go to UK with tourist visas. If I am to work and see the situation of things, I have to marry her.

We are talking about a human heart here. It's callous to marry her and leave after 6 months when I find out the UK is not for me.

And just because you marry her does mean you will automatically get paper , so think of that.

Profkenny1:


yes, men are recruited to fight and die in Sambisa forest. men take up low-paying dangerous jobs, dying on the job while building civilization. The average jobless man in Nigeria is shamed for being poor and said to not be a real man.

The same can be said of the men living in the western countries.

willy2000:

We all know that. Men should also stop looking for love from them and seek what they can get from them and make it a symbiotic life.
You need my money fine. I need children and stress relieve whenever I need it. Punkt.

Actually, artificial wombs will be out in 2 years and men won't have to give life, via their sperm cells, to dead ova in female's wombs anymore. I'm excited about the artificial wombs scientists in the West and East Asia are working on!

Kelvinpam:


Bro, I'm in the same situation like you. Little over one year left on the work visa, constant thoughts to move to naija cos mehn i'm not cutout for some menial jobs here after my masters studies but from what I read here today, I have second thoughts now.

There are a number of nigerians doing prof. Jobs and there are those who enjoy the menial ones but I have to say, you need to give up the idea that africans are given the least priority when you apply for jobs. If you hold on to that, you won't send at least 2 applications a day. It's hard composing a great cover letter and getting a rejection almost immediately but don't give up. It's hard seeing you are a perfect fit for a job and never chosen. Still, never give up.

A friend of mine who got a job with about 2 months left said the magic number is 100 apps. Until then, you have done nothing. You need to improve your german while you send those apps and you need to do the menial jobs to survive while you await the prof jobs. Nothing is easy bro. Get yourself enrolled in another masters and learn something new on youtube as internet is readily available.

I wish you all the best bro. We will get through this!!!

What I see is people failing to understand that in Germany, it is difficult to break through without the German language. I saw recently an advert in my town looking for java developers with C2 language proficiency. _I had to show some of my friends the advert, because I felt that is a subtle way of saying we need only native speakers.
_Below is what you see when reading job adverts

Das solltest Du mitbringen (What you should bring)

Abgeschlossenes Studium im Bereich Informatik oder Naturwissenschaften
Erste Praxiserfahrung in der Software-Entwicklung (First hand experience in software development)
Gute Kenntnisse in Java und JavaScript (knowledgeable in ..........)
Spaß an der Arbeit im Team (Enjoy working and also in Team)
Sehr gute Deutsch- und Englischkenntnisse ( Fluent in German and English) Here Fluent is not B1, it starts from B2

Beautyaddy:


The same can be said of the men living in the western countries.

The difference is family laws are not biased against men in Nigeria! Nigerian law enforcement officials and Attorneys are NOT trained on the Duluth model that automatically assumes all men as perpetrators and all women as victims!

coming2america:
Listen....

I am a Nigerian who relocated to the US to go hustle...some years ago. I went on a visa, to do what guys normally do- over stay visa, marry change status and live the American dream

My friends were doing it and it seemed kinda cool. Got to the US- the NE, got a survival job, was zeemingly living well, facebook pictures and all. Got into a bramch of IT(without papers) with w9 tho,and was earning like 20 an hour,which was something, though it wasnt steady, steady work.

To supplement i was a pizza driver by the side, also doing doordash, instashopper and all. But somehow, i was not happy, i knew i could do better.

To get any headway, i knew i had to marry-an akata or someone to get my stay to be legit and begin to work on a w2 with big companies getting steady pay.

I couldnt save enough to pay a girl $10k for marriage and the women loving me, were these obese, fat ugly ones who may be rich, but meeeeehn, getting an erection every night to service her for the 3 or 5yrs it would take me to get my PR was a no no.i cant keep up with pretense that long.

For how long would i then consider staying in the US as an overstay hoping for big break when i even got in, in my late 30's? The people,we(me and some friends from Naija who we came in together) looked upto were doing uber, amazon flex and Lyft. The big boys considered themselves car dealers- i come US come dey ship moto go back naija?

That seemed to be the immediate aspiration and so I asked myself, soooo, i will be drivung Uber in America? Taxi? Or be doing car dealer(which i didnt even have the money to go into) going to auction every tuesday and thurrsday? Thats the dream?

My IT work, those my managers and supervisors who paid me $20 an hour had bsen in the field for 30yeats and they always got to site before me and left after me, atimes 10hrs straight of work. So i asked mysf at what point will these peoplw rest?.At 70? 80? Because people with that kind of expeerice ( and i am talking master) are on the penthouse office in Lagos directing staff through managers. Here, they were still on the field. Haba

I decided i was coming back to Nigeria. I knew a couole of big wigs i felt qould give me a soft landing, but meeeehn, it hqs been hell since. Nothing has worked since i came back.

Ans i came back without money.

Now, all my hopes rests on a former Boss of mine who has is handling a huge govt project (we have been exchnaging notes on for the past three months)for the nexr 10years, totalling almost $12billion in execution.

If he calls me, hopefully within the next 48hrs,I would have been saved by the bell. If he doesnt,then i am doomed and oming back would perhaps be the biggest mistake of my life.

Look before you leap bro. Nigeria is hell, but by all means do not settle for menial jobs. But by all means, have a good alternative

Hmm your story is quite touching

As someone who has been down and out a number of times I can relate to that decisive moment you are waiting for a phone call that will change your

If you are christian , I'll advice you to drop everything called distraction now and soak yourself in prayer. Even if it means fasting for the next 48hours and praying for open heavens.

Once a good deal lands like this, all the pain and shame of yesterday will seem like a dream.

I join my faith to yours too.

Shalom

Profkenny1:


The difference is family laws are not biased against men in Nigeria! Nigerian law enforcement officials and Attorneys are NOT trained on the Duluth model that automatically assumes all men as perpetrators and all women as victims!

But the family laws in Nigeria are biased against women.

We understand your type of men na(selfish, self-centered, abuser of the weaker vessel)...no need for the back and forth with you again.

Beautyaddy:


But the family laws in Nigeria are biased against women.

We understand your type of men na(selfish, self-centered, abuser of the weaker vessel)...no need for the back and forth with you again.

What da hell you meant by "weaker vessel" Women are NOT weaker! They are as strong as men! Y'all far-left/democrats pull that weak rhetoric when trying to get benefits without responsibility.

coming2america:
Listen....

I am a Nigerian who relocated to the US to go hustle...some years ago. I went on a visa, to do what guys normally do- over stay visa, marry change status and live the American dream

My friends were doing it and it seemed kinda cool. Got to the US- the NE, got a survival job, was zeemingly living well, facebook pictures and all. Got into a bramch of IT(without papers) with w9 tho,and was earning like 20 an hour,which was something, though it wasnt steady, steady work.

To supplement i was a pizza driver by the side, also doing doordash, instashopper and all. But somehow, i was not happy, i knew i could do better.

To get any headway, i knew i had to marry-an akata or someone to get my stay to be legit and begin to work on a w2 with big companies getting steady pay.

I couldnt save enough to pay a girl $10k for marriage and the women loving me, were these obese, fat ugly ones who may be rich, but meeeeehn, getting an erection every night to service her for the 3 or 5yrs it would take me to get my PR was a no no.i cant keep up with pretense that long.

For how long would i then consider staying in the US as an overstay hoping for big break when i even got in, in my late 30's? The people,we(me and some friends from Naija who we came in together) looked upto were doing uber, amazon flex and Lyft. The big boys considered themselves car dealers- i come US come dey ship moto go back naija?

That seemed to be the immediate aspiration and so I asked myself, soooo, i will be drivung Uber in America? Taxi? Or be doing car dealer(which i didnt even have the money to go into) going to auction every tuesday and thurrsday? Thats the dream?

My IT work, those my managers and supervisors who paid me $20 an hour had bsen in the field for 30yeats and they always got to site before me and left after me, atimes 10hrs straight of work. So i asked mysf at what point will these peoplw rest?.At 70? 80? Because people with that kind of expeerice ( and i am talking master) are on the penthouse office in Lagos directing staff through managers. Here, they were still on the field. Haba

I decided i was coming back to Nigeria. I knew a couole of big wigs i felt qould give me a soft landing, but meeeehn, it hqs been hell since. Nothing has worked since i came back.

Ans i came back without money.

Now, all my hopes rests on a former Boss of mine who has is handling a huge govt project (we have been exchnaging notes on for the past three months)for the nexr 10years, totalling almost $12billion in execution.

If he calls me, hopefully within the next 48hrs,I would have been saved by the bell. If he doesnt,then i am doomed and oming back would perhaps be the biggest mistake of my life.

Look before you leap bro. Nigeria is hell, but by all means do not settle for menial jobs. But by all means, have a good alternative

Your story is quite unfortunate but you made a lot of poor choices , first you came to the US and overstayed thinking that you could stay and marry somebody. And then you came back to Nigeria with no money so it’s not surprise that life has been difficult for you. But your story should serve as caution to those who think they can come to the US and marry a U.S citzen and get automatic paper it doesn’t always work like that.

europebaby:
Omooooo!!!
I would like to blame "village people" but my dear my head was in the clouds...

I was DREAMING & IMAGINING A BETTER NIGERIA.
Believing that I would make an impact and transfer knowledge when I get back. Lmaoooo...

I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE WRONG ABOUT ANYTHING IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!!!

Your intentions were/are noble - May you see the fruits of your labour soon.

Babyvet:


Your story is quite unfortunate but you made a lot of poor choices , first you came to the US and overstayed thinking that you could stay and marry somebody. And then you can to Nigeria with no money so it’s not surprise that life has been difficult for you.

Sincerely speaking, you don't have to be judgemental here. He made those choices based on the information he had at hand. And now he is sharing his story not for us to pity him, but for someone out there to learn and not make the same mistake he made. So stop playing perfect, or as they say "Besserwisser".

Babyvet:


His future is not going to be bright if works menial jobs. Who told you that menails jobs pay like that? He is going to be spending the money where he lives. Most minimum wage workers live paycheck to paycheck to cover their expenses, a lot of times they don’t even have enough.

You are too shortsighted and i'm not sure you have had a real life experience. you said that because you know how his future will turn out?