How do you overcome it?
I have a fear of being in social situations because I am afraid I will say something to embarrass myself or look ignorant and stupid like it has happened in the past a lot of times. I also fear that I will come off as too boring or weird if I decided to just shut up and not expose my ignorance and inability to have stimulating conversation.
I had like two or three friends all through my stay in the university and even at that I was not so close to them. I tend to be a bit sensitive to inconsiderate behaviour and careless words and it has really slowed my ability to make friends. I don't like being alone all the time, I don't mind having a friend I can really get along with so this whole thing just makes me sad.

I have very specific needs in the type of person I can be relaxed enough to make friends with. Very kind, non judgemental and intuitive, can easily understand people. Also introverted like my self. I have met two people in uni who fit the description and who I would have been very close to but one was a male and he started trying to be more than friends after some time and I wasn't interested in that while the other one didn't like me.

I am not even a small child, I am thirty one and married with a kid but I can't seem to overcome this immense fear of socialising. The other day my husband made a hurtful comment to me about how there is nobody else in the whole world who is like me and how I don't visit anyone and no one visits me. He himself is very outgoing so I don't expect him to understand my type of person but he wasn't far from the truth. The only person I interact with in our street is one of my female neighbours the other two people who I know in this state are living in main town and we live far away in outskirts with the villagers and I was brought up in a sheltered city environment that's very different from what I am living in presently so I don't really know how to interact without them since me and my neighbours personalities are so different.

We have had in-laws live with us twice now and I usually hide myself away in the room because of fear of looking stupid/ awkward and I only come out to talk to them for a short while and run away again lol.
The person I married isn't helping matters at all. I don't want to go into details about his behaviour


I just wanted to vent. Thanks for reading.

I understand exactly how you feel. Thank you for sharing this. At least I now know I'm not as different as I thought.

Just imagine everyone as idiots , that should reduce the anxiety to a degree. Before I used to be like that but now I really dont care unless you're intelligent then I'd be quiet so I dont look like an idiot so I can learn from the person.

Just live your life on your own terms. Most people are living a social based Fake Life.


Just do your thing and don't give a FXxk.

Your happiness and satisfaction is KEY

You only live once.

catwalq:
I understand exactly how you feel. Thank you for sharing this. At least I now know I'm not as different as I thought.

Good to meet you too
Don't you feel lonely sometimes or are you have some few close friends? Lol
Loneliness is the worst part. I like being by myself but I still need like one or true ride of die friends. That are like me.

pcguru1:
Just imagine everyone as idiots , that should reduce the anxiety to a degree. Before I used to be like that but now I really dont care unless you're intelligent then I'd be quiet so I dont look like an idiot so I can learn from the person.

Thanks.

My rational (or low self esteem side) will keep telling me that I am the ignorant one that has less life experience than them and is less exposed than them
Then I get scared to open my mouth and expose my ignorance.

StrikeBack:
Just live your life on your own terms. Most people are living a social based Fake Life.


Just do your thing and don't give a FXxk.

Your happiness and satisfaction is KEY

You only live once.

That's it. I can't pretend to not give a fvck. I am sensitive to their criticism and being told that I don't have any friends or am strange bla bla bla. I don't like being treated differently or getting weird stares and the awkwardness when I am with people who don't see me as normal.

I would like a friend. I have just been having some difficulties finding someone I really gel with.

Hiqma:


Thanks.

My rational (or low self esteem side) will keep telling me that I am the ignorant one that has less life experience than them and is less exposed than them
Then I get scared to open my mouth and expose my ignorance.

But the bad side is you wont learn then. Yip: inform them of your ignorance before hand, it reduces the blow lol

pcguru1:



But the bad side is you wont learn then. Yip: inform them of your ignorance before hand, it reduces the blow lol

Lol
Then they start with the open disrespectfulness.

Thanks anyway.

Hiqma:


Lol
Then they start with the open disrespectfulness.

Thanks anyway.

I don't know about you but I believe one who keeps quiet is considered wise. Everything you're scared of are just in your head. You'd be surprised how much they can learn from you.

pcguru1:



[quote author=Hiqma post=78549191]

Thanks.

My rational (or low self esteem side) will keep telling me that I am the ignorant one that has less life experience than them and is less exposed than them
Then I get scared to open my mouth and expose my ignorance.

This is easy. If you think you don't know anything, you can always change that by learning - thank God for internet. Know a little about everything, that way you don't get overwhelmed. You need not contribute to the convo if you don't want,you'll just know who is actually making sense and who isn't instead of assuming they are all smarter than you..

catwalq:


I don't know about you but I believe one who keeps quiet is considered wise. Everything you're scared of are just in your head. You'd be surprised how much they can learn from you.

This is easy. If you think you don't know anything, you can always change that by learning - thank God for internet. Know a little about everything, that way you don't get overwhelmed. You need not contribute to the convo if you don't want,you'll just know who is actually making sense and who isn't instead of assuming they are all smarter than you..

Thanks.

Hiqma:

Thanks anyway.

just feel free with yourself.

MrToothBrush:
just feel free with yourself.

Easier said than done. Thanks

You need alcohol, it will make you more social, trust me.

mhd5757:
You need alcohol, it will make you more social, trust me.

My religion forbids it