kennygee:
Dear woman, I can imagine the emotional and psychological pain you're going thru, however, making a decision right now might not be wise cause it will be an emotional one.

Just keep praying for him and ask God for strength to overcome. It is only when there's a crack in the wall that a lizard can enter.

Start working out the little way you can, start dressing really nice, so nice you'll get compliments outside. It will improve your self esteem, wear make up, smell nice. It might not stop him from cheating but it will build up your self esteem and confidence so much that you'll see you're not the problem.

You'll be in a better place to decide if you want to stay with him or leave.

All the best.

I hope you have a job or a business sha?

Cause the best security a woman can have is her own money.

I want African men to know that women have feelings too, am expected to bottle up my pain and be a woman.

ibkayee:
Don’t waste any useless prayer on him. Cheating is one thing, his lack of remorse and arrogance has sealed the deal. He has also given the girl he cheated with wings to address you anyhow.

I’d pack out if I were you personally and get a divorce. But then again, I’m not privy to your financial situation and don’t know if you’d have the means to make such drastic decisions, especially with a 4 month old baby.

It’s up to you, you’re better positioned to make the most practical decision since you’re the one in the situation. Are you a full time housewife? Do you have your own money?

I’m reluctant to advise you seek the help of your family because we know how that usually goes for a woman. But if you have understanding family members that you can can stay with, go to them for the time being.

The most important thing is to get out of there and safely.

Needtolove:

This guy body shames me at any chance he gets. (I have a four month old baby) he says am ugly and shapless, and my breast are flat

Acidosis:

To be honest, I do not think it is so hard to identify a potential or "would-be" cheat during courtship.

truthsayer009:


This is a lie abeg, infact a very big one at that. These signs always show when you are dating.

You will notice people who are Proud, Cheats, gets angry at the slightest provocation etc

Nobody should come with this crap that they never knew when they were courting. Please.

truthsayer009:


This is a lie abeg, infact a very big one at that. These signs always show when you are dating.

You will notice people who are Proud, Cheats, gets angry at the slightest provocation etc

Nobody should come with this crap that they never knew when they were courting. Please.

Needtolove:
Hi nairalanders this post is going to be quite disorganized, as I am not such a good writer. Just need an avenue to let our some steam. No advise needed too. The only way forward for me is to quit my marriage.

The reason for this write up is to ease the pain of betrayal that comes from my husband cheating on me with a our neighbor,what really hurts is that after I investigated and found out her identity, I presented him with hard evidence ,instead of an apology he said he is an African man o and polygamy is allowed. He says I should better mind my business as the said girl is not disturbing me. He further stated that the girl is crazy o, so I should not even think of confronting her

Just this morning she had the nerve to come to my apartment with her room mate to clarify some house issues. The nerve of all of them. Really want to make them pay. Really want to make my husband suffer.
This guy body shames me at any chance he gets. (I have a four month old baby) he says am ugly and shapless, and my breast are flat

I want African men to know that women have feelings too, am expected to bottle up my pain and be a woman. When I react violently he calls me mad woman. He is still with her and I am still expected to mind my business.
I will though, but they will both get it.

Penisinpenisout:


Just remember those lovely traits that attracted you to him in the beginning and quit dwelling on the negatives ;-)

czarina:
Wow! Well-done

czarina:
Wow! Well-done

Penisinpenisout:


Thanks.

Needtolove:
Hi nairalanders this post is going to be quite disorganized, as I am not such a good writer. Just need an avenue to let our some steam. No advise needed too. The only way forward for me is to quit my marriage.

The reason for this write up is to ease the pain of betrayal that comes from my husband cheating on me with a our neighbor,what really hurts is that after I investigated and found out her identity, I presented him with hard evidence ,instead of an apology he said he is an African man o and polygamy is allowed. He says I should better mind my business as the said girl is not disturbing me. He further stated that the girl is crazy o, so I should not even think of confronting her

Just this morning she had the nerve to come to my apartment with her room mate to clarify some house issues. The nerve of all of them. Really want to make them pay. Really want to make my husband suffer.
This guy body shames me at any chance he gets. (I have a four month old baby) he says am ugly and shapless, and my breast are flat

I want African men to know that women have feelings too, am expected to bottle up my pain and be a woman. When I react violently he calls me mad woman. He is still with her and I am still expected to mind my business.
I will though, but they will both get it.

Jentle244:




I feel ur pain really

First of all what I would say is this: He body shames u at any given opportunity. I would say say u work on ur body, do some exercise, avoid fatty foods, watch your diet. and be discipled about it. I guess ur husband married u a slim lady? go back to that ur former shape.
If u ask me I don't like women who are fat unnecessarily. thruth be told.
So work on ur weight and body size.
Secondly, are u a spiritual woman?
A woman who kneels before God will stand before men.
I use to know an aunt whose husband cheats on her. Every time she complains to my mum until my mum told her what to do. She prayed a prayer that no man who cheats on his wife to pray
"O Lord my his penis never stand if he meets a strange woman" an it worked like fire cause God has said whatever God has joined together let no man put asunder, that girl is trying to put asunder(divide) in your marriage.
So what am trying to say is that u must be a prayer woman if u want a peaceful home.
Thirdly, Know how to cook, especially his favorite. it is said that the way to a man's heart is through the stomach which invariably means food, good food as at that. if u don't know learn from ur friends.
Fourthly, Be romantic, my sister know how to dob it in bed, like the above saying, another way to a Man's heart is through sex. This is the 21st century where the internet is at our finger tips. learn how to seduce him, learn how to u know moan, wriggle your body etc. Am not saying u should watch porn.
And Lastly, Be supportive: supportive in the sense that u are supportive emotionally, money wise and prayer wise.
In terms of money if u don't have something doing, men tend to get irritated especially when he has a girl outside. Learn a handwork such as decoration, pastry, confectioneries, catering etc
The ball is in your Court
I rest my case

Needtolove:
Hi nairalanders this post is going to be quite disorganized, as I am not such a good writer. Just need an avenue to let our some steam. No advise needed too. The only way forward for me is to quit my marriage.

The reason for this write up is to ease the pain of betrayal that comes from my husband cheating on me with a our neighbor,what really hurts is that after I investigated and found out her identity, I presented him with hard evidence ,instead of an apology he said he is an African man o and polygamy is allowed. He says I should better mind my business as the said girl is not disturbing me. He further stated that the girl is crazy o, so I should not even think of confronting her

Just this morning she had the nerve to come to my apartment with her room mate to clarify some house issues. The nerve of all of them. Really want to make them pay. Really want to make my husband suffer.
This guy body shames me at any chance he gets. (I have a four month old baby) he says am ugly and shapless, and my breast are flat

I want African men to know that women have feelings too, am expected to bottle up my pain and be a woman. When I react violently he calls me mad woman. He is still with her and I am still expected to mind my business.
I will though, but they will both get it.

Jentle244:

I feel ur pain really

First of all what I would say is this: He body shames u at any given opportunity. I would say say u work on ur body, do some exercise, avoid fatty foods, watch your diet. and be discipled about it. I guess ur husband married u a slim lady? go back to that ur former shape.

Jentle244:

Secondly, are u a spiritual woman?

A woman who kneels before God will stand before men.

I use to know an aunt whose husband cheats on her. Every time she complains to my mum until my mum told her what to do. She prayed a prayer that no man who cheats on his wife to pray


"O Lord my his penis never stand if he meets a strange woman" an it worked like fire cause God has said whatever God has joined together let no man put asunder, that girl is trying to put asunder(divide) in your marriage.

Jentle244:

Thirdly, Know how to cook, especially his favorite. it is said that the way to a man's heart is through the stomach which invariably means food, good food as at that. if u don't know learn from ur friends.

Fourthly, Be romantic, my sister know how to dob it in bed, like the above saying, another way to a Man's heart is through sex. This is the 21st century where the internet is at our finger tips. learn how to seduce him, learn how to u know moan, wriggle your body etc. Am not saying u should watch porn.

Jentle244:

In terms of money if u don't have something doing, men tend to get irritated especially when he has a girl outside. Learn a handwork such as decoration, pastry, confectioneries, catering etc

nwanneni:
random excuses.
I will advise you to work on yourself,be the best you can be and if possible of great shape too.look pretty.
Do you make money?if so,spoil yourself and act like he doesn't matter.
With time if you were good to him,he will come back crawling on his knees.

Seun:

This goes beyond looking pretty. She is at risk of contracting STDs from this woman. I think they need to go for professional counselling asap.

nwanneni:
random excuses.
I will advise you to work on yourself,be the best you can be and if possible of great shape too.look pretty.
Do you make money?if so,spoil yourself and act like he doesn't matter.
With time if you were good to him,he will come back crawling on his knees.