Jentle244:




I feel ur pain really

First of all what I would say is this: He body shames u at any given opportunity. I would say say u work on ur body, do some exercise, avoid fatty foods, watch your diet. and be discipled about it. I guess ur husband married u a slim lady? go back to that ur former shape.

If u ask me I don't like women who are fat unnecessarily. thruth be told.

So work on ur weight and body size.




Secondly, are u a spiritual woman?

A woman who kneels before God will stand before men.

I use to know an aunt whose husband cheats on her. Every time she complains to my mum until my mum told her what to do. She prayed a prayer that no man who cheats on his wife to pray


"O Lord my his penis never stand if he meets a strange woman" an it worked like fire cause God has said whatever God has joined together let no man put asunder, that girl is trying to put asunder(divide) in your marriage.


So what am trying to say is that u must be a prayer woman if u want a peaceful home.





Thirdly, Know how to cook, especially his favorite. it is said that the way to a man's heart is through the stomach which invariably means food, good food as at that. if u don't know learn from ur friends.

Fourthly, Be romantic, my sister know how to dob it in bed, like the above saying, another way to a Man's heart is through sex. This is the 21st century where the internet is at our finger tips. learn how to seduce him, learn how to u know moan, wriggle your body etc. Am not saying u should watch porn.



And Lastly, Be supportive: supportive in the sense that u are supportive emotionally, money wise and prayer wise.


In terms of money if u don't have something doing, men tend to get irritated especially when he has a girl outside. Learn a handwork such as decoration, pastry, confectioneries, catering etc



The ball is in your Court



I rest my case

see advice oo..
by their posts,we shall know the married and unmarried ones..
very stupid And thoroughly foolish advice.

Person wey dey cry dey see road o.

That your blanket statement addressed to AFRICAN MEN is unnecessary and offensive.

You said you came to serve us notice that you’re leaving your husband. Well, good luck.

You are angry and you want your pound of flesh. Beautiful. I advise you not to do something that will make even your own parents disown you in court. Crime is different from crime. If anger rules you, you’ll blame yourself.

olril17:

see advice oo..
by their posts,we shall know the married and unmarried ones..
very stupid And thoroughly foolish advice.

'Thoroughly' foolish ke? Lmaoo

He neither values nor respects you. The mistake you made was too loss yourself in the marriage. When the new girl finishes with him, he'll run back to you on bended knees.

We lack comprehension in this country ...read through her message, she said she doesn't need advice....I still wonder why some people they try advice her....for what? She wanna end the marriage that is why she doesn't need advice. Make una free her....a stubborn grasshopper will always rest in peace in the stomach of a bird

It's not African to maltreat or cheat on your spouse. However, a cheat is a cheat irrespective of the continent or whatsoever. African women, wake your damn lazy a*sses up and become independent. Get a life or something.. I've come to realize that, men hardly mess up with independent women.

All this unmarried people giving u bad advice. You too look at what the sidechick is doing and and what she is wearing to hook your husband and do times 10.Yes, his cheating may not entirely be ur fault but once Nigerian women get married that is when they go in search of their grand mothers bubus and start wearing them or start behaving like they belong to the convent . How many married women in Nigeria do u see watching their weight or hitting the gym to maintain their shape? If you like listen to the pple saying divorce him. Yes he will lose but you will be the bigger loser. No be naija again?

kennygee:


My dear, I've learned to not be too quick to advise a woman to leave her marriage.

If you've watched "War Room", you'll realize that some marital problems can be sorted out in prayer.

If her life is in danger, then I'll advise separation.

Well, if you say so.

Alaye carry your cross when you they open leg for am we they there Imagine your neighbor what a useless unrepentant and disrespectful husband don't know you too though so I won't judge besides those are the price they pay in marriage go ask your mummy

He will soon understand.

Needtolove:
Hi nairalanders this post is going to be quite disorganized, as I am not such a good writer. Just need an avenue to let our some steam. No advise needed too. The only way forward for me is to quit my marriage.

The reason for this write up is to ease the pain of betrayal that comes from my husband cheating on me with a our neighbor,what really hurts is that after I investigated and found out her identity, I presented him with hard evidence ,instead of an apology he said he is an African man o and polygamy is allowed. He says I should better mind my business as the said girl is not disturbing me. He further stated that the girl is crazy o, so I should not even think of confronting her

Just this morning she had the nerve to come to my apartment with her room mate to clarify some house issues. The nerve of all of them. Really want to make them pay. Really want to make my husband suffer.
This guy body shames me at any chance he gets. (I have a four month old baby) he says am ugly and shapless, and my breast are flat

I want African men to know that women have feelings too, am expected to bottle up my pain and be a woman. When I react violently he calls me mad woman. He is still with her and I am still expected to mind my business.
I will though, but they will both get it.

I feel so pain and sorry ready your write up

kennygee:
Dear woman, I can imagine the emotional and psychological pain you're going thru, however, making a decision right now might not be wise cause it will be an emotional one.

Just keep praying for him and ask God for strength to overcome. It is only when there's a crack in the wall that a lizard can enter.

Start working out the little way you can, start dressing really nice, so nice you'll get compliments outside. It will improve your self esteem, wear make up, smell nice. It might not stop him from cheating but it will build up your self esteem and confidence so much that you'll see you're not the problem.

You'll be in a better place to decide if you want to stay with him or leave.

All the best.

I hope you have a job or a business sha?

Cause the best security a woman can have is her own money.

This advice is so wrong, leave that house and sort things later and what happens when the make up wears off? Self esteem wears off as well. I beg you don't advice anybody on this forum again

WHAT ABOUT IF THAT GIRL DON COOK LOVE PORTION FOR YOUR HUSBAND ??


THINK WELL OOO


MOST OF THE SLAW QUEENS AND YOUNG GIRLS VISIT TRADITIONAL SPIRITUALIST


AFTER USING ON YOUR HUSBAND ,HE WILL HATE U MORE THAN SHIT, AS SUCH WILL BE IMAGING IF ITS THE SAME MAN THAT ONCE TOLD U I LIFE U.


USE YOUR BRAIN OO

nwanneni:
bro,I think I am a very weak man and I think she knows this and is using it to spite/rile me up.
She never puts up status,why now?she never flaunted me to anyone,now this guy?haha,bunch of psychos,women!!
Well,I know what to do...thank you.
I'll continue with what I'm doing and go get some drinks with my friend later.
Thanks bro,I appreciate.

bros..na woman matter u take serious so?
what kind of men do even breed nowadays sef...
he even called himself emotionally weak..
and I like you oo bros but you dey fall hand.

cococandy:
You do need to leave but like others have said, no rash decisions for now.

Also stop having sex with him please. Yes he will become more brazen and even blame you for his future misbehavior because you denied him sex. But HIV isn’t your friend. That girl is probably collecting some extra Ds on the side and those Ds probably isn’t faithful to only her as well. You get the picture.

When you do leave, make sure you hit him where it hurts most. Be it financial or otherwise, you know him better than we do. And that’s not just for the cheating (that’s forgivable in some cases) but for his blatant cocky unrepentance.

You're a sad person, she doesn't want to hit him

She just wants what's best for her

It's very unfortunate. He does not have any respect for you. This has nothing to do with being an African man. You are justified if you decide to leave.

ojkalito:
This advice is so wrong, leave that house and sort things later and what happens when the make up wears off? Self esteem wears off as well. I beg you don't advice anybody on this forum again

Imagine if every woman leaves her man because he cheats.

Are you saying the marriage can't be redeemed?

So why is this here when the issue is solved?

what really hurts is that after I investigated and found out her identity, I presented him with hard evidence ,instead of an apology he said he is an African man o and polygamy is allowed. He says I should better mind my business as the said girl is not disturbing me. He further stated that the girl is crazy o, so I should not even think of confronting her.

He has told you his point of view.
What do you want again?
You approached him for answers and he gave you.
A lot of relationship issues I read about, when they get to this stage, the woman quiets up and continues with the marriage.

Enjoy your marriage until the issue gets out of hand.

Truth is he never loved you!

kennygee:


My dear, I've learned to not be too quick to advise a woman to leave her marriage.

If you've watched "War Room", you'll realize that some marital problems can be sorted out in prayer.

If her life is in danger, then I'll advise separation.

Nigerians and prayers...lol..

JoannaSedley:
WHAT IS THIS FOR CHRIST SAKE
She should pray for him to do what exactly? To continue hurting her by being an African man?
Pray for him for hurting and body shaming the mother of his kids?
It is her fault that her husband is a community penis

This advise is beyond unbelievable.


Op, you are hurting deeply so get out of that house before they kill you or you kill them. That horseband of yours will open the door of your house for his concubines to kill or maim you when you least expect it.
Be careful.

My dear, the matter weak me.

Talmbout crack in the wall and lizards. LOL.

I don't know what to say to the OP.
My philosophy in life is,

" Where respect is no longer served, leave"

Your husband is cheating on you?
And with your neighbour?

Your husband is TRASH ,but I know you know that already.

Needtolove:
Hi nairalanders this post is going to be quite disorganized, as I am not such a good writer. Just need an avenue to let our some steam. No advise needed too. The only way forward for me is to quit my marriage.

The reason for this write up is to ease the pain of betrayal that comes from my husband cheating on me with a our neighbor,what really hurts is that after I investigated and found out her identity, I presented him with hard evidence ,instead of an apology he said he is an African man o and polygamy is allowed. He says I should better mind my business as the said girl is not disturbing me. He further stated that the girl is crazy o, so I should not even think of confronting her

Just this morning she had the nerve to come to my apartment with her room mate to clarify some house issues. The nerve of all of them. Really want to make them pay. Really want to make my husband suffer.
This guy body shames me at any chance he gets. (I have a four month old baby) he says am ugly and shapless, and my breast are flat

I want African men to know that women have feelings too, am expected to bottle up my pain and be a woman. When I react violently he calls me mad woman. He is still with her and I am still expected to mind my business.
I will though, but they will both get it.

My Dear, if he has pushed you so far...... Best to quit the marriage.......

You would be happier single, than miserably married......

kennygee:
Dear woman, I can imagine the emotional and psychological pain you're going thru, however, making a decision right now might not be wise cause it will be an emotional one.

Just keep praying for him and ask God for strength to overcome. It is only when there's a crack in the wall that a lizard can enter.

Start working out the little way you can, start dressing really nice, so nice you'll get compliments outside. It will improve your self esteem, wear make up, smell nice. It might not stop him from cheating but it will build up your self esteem and confidence so much that you'll see you're not the problem.

You'll be in a better place to decide if you want to stay with him or leave.

All the best.

I hope you have a job or a business sha?

Cause the best security a woman can have is her own money.

funny advice are you married and has your husband ever cheated on you with a neighbour ? Answer those questions first and imagine a scenario where you're trying to implement your advice while seeing the woman who fùcks your husband every single day of the year. Even I as a man can't condone the nonsense her husband is putting her through

olril17:

Nigerians and prayers...lol..

I've seen it happen, I've seen prayers turn around impossible situations. It depends on your relationship with God and your ability to pray through the situation.

God didn't intend for marriage to be this way, so when a marriage is going through a storm, it can be calmed by prayers.

A lot of women never learn... It's either y'all go into this marriage thing blindfolded, or just exceptionally naïve. Either way, there's no excuse not to know that marriage rarely changes, rather amplifies an existing trait.

Most husbands that cheat, especially the very randy ones, already had that discernible streak of infidelity prior to even proposing marriage... Most women accept to marry believing the marital vows would compel chastity. Smh.

This matter is simple! Learn to live with his streak of infidelity, or hold fast to your dignity and kick his playing ass to the curb. End of.

Serves you right for agreeing to marry a foolish man in the first place.

Altern8:
Person wey dey cry dey see road o.

That your blanket statement addressed to AFRICAN MEN is unnecessary and offensive.

You said you came to serve us notice that you’re leaving your husband. Well, good luck.

You are angry and you want your pound of flesh. Beautiful. I advise you not to do something that will make even your own parents disown you in court. Crime is different from crime. If anger rules you, you’ll blame yourself.

This guy is just telling you not to kill somebody before you leave the marriage so you won’t end up blaming yourself crime get grade.Cheating isn’t the same as murder

I don't know how you want to do it, but set a trap that will leave a permanent scar they will regret ever cheating and they can't even come out to report the case because reporting case is like reporting themselves cheating.

You made one mistake by attacking him, now he knows you know, so anything done will be traced back to you.

Damn. Just involve family and if it doesn't change him. Take whatever dignity is left and walk away but for the man to be so bold in making such a sick outdated baseless statement,, seems like u depend on him financially