Bossjakande:
Lois can we talk private pls

No pls.

Needtolove:

I presented him with hard evidence ,instead of an apology he said he is an African man o and polygamy is allowed. He says I should better mind my business as the said girl is not disturbing me. He further stated that the girl is crazy o, so I should not even think of confronting her

I want African men to know that women have feelings too, am expected to bottle up my pain and be a woman. When I react violently he calls me mad woman. He is still with her and I am still expected to mind my business.
I will though, but they will both get it.

This must be fake, the post creator must be fake, the post creator is just here to spread crap at african men and nothing more... Tell me how normal is it for african men to cheat on their wife and then say ”i’m an african man, polygamy is allowed”? The people who comes from cultures that practises polygamy don’t cheat, they are uppfront with it, dont confuse polygamy to cheating. And then the person goes on saying that we african men dont know that women have feelings, he/she bealieves that we are cold hearted beast unlike europeans and other non africans. The poster is either fake or stupid for making claims like this about african men. Don’t try to blame us for your partner choice, i havent cheated on my wife and i sure threat my african women with the respect that they deserve.

kennygee:
Dear woman, I can imagine the emotional and psychological pain you're going thru, however, making a decision right now might not be wise cause it will be an emotional one.

Just keep praying for him and ask God for strength to overcome. It is only when there's a crack in the wall that a lizard can enter.

Start working out the little way you can, start dressing really nice, so nice you'll get compliments outside. It will improve your self esteem, wear make up, smell nice. It might not stop him from cheating but it will build up your self esteem and confidence so much that you'll see you're not the problem.

You'll be in a better place to decide if you want to stay with him or leave.

All the best.

I hope you have a job or a business sha?

Cause the best security a woman can have is her own money.

This motherly. A godly counsel.

Yes bro I believe in prayers,it works wonders for me but the problem here is this whole situation is more of a psychological thing and doesn’t need prayers,all I see in this situation is a hardened womanizer who needs to have a rethink about his life,I am not saying we shouldn’t do our stuffs as a man but we must respect our relationship,even in the worst case if you want to cheat then your wife must never be suspicious and you must never place your girlfriend above your wife,let your gf know how much you respect your wife.
I think Nigerian government needs to make strict rules that will favour women concerning marriages because most times these women are helpless.
WOMEN DESERVES TO BE TREATED LIKE AN EGG AND WITH RESPECT.
THAINK YOU

Frankiss44:


LOL at fairytales.. I don't even know where to start from with you so I won't even try because I believe you are entitled to your opinion.. I am not against divorce, but I believe somethings are still worth fighting for before giving up and the only weapon I use I fighting is prayers, and trust me, it has never let me down...

ibkayee:

My dear it isn't so much just his cheating as it is his response.

He clearly gives no fvcks and was even gloating about having a license to cheat because he is a so called African man, pure arrogance.

People cheat, fine, some people decide to stay and iron out their issues but this only works when the cheater recognises his fault at the very LEAST. The OPs husband is just irredeemable

Polygamy may be a part of african culturr but cheating and polygamy is not the same thing, the man cheated and there is nothing justifiable about that. I have suspisions against OP, i don’t believe any african man is going around cheating and then justifying it by claiming that polygamy is a part of african culture and then OP goes on saying african men are cold hearted who dont know that their women have feelings too unlike european and other men. This may be a post to spew hate against african men and nothing more.

The things I read about marriage gets me mad scared about that institute

The lady stated it categorically before writing that she don't need your advice. So why advising her. In fact, I wondered why she is still waisting her time to put up the write.

Mbakuthegreat:


Polygamy may be a part of african culturr but cheating and polygamy is not the same thing, the man cheated and there is nothing justifiable about that. I have suspisions against OP, i don’t believe any african man is going around cheating and then claiming that polygamy is a part of african culture and then OP goes on saying african men are cold hearted who dont know that their women have feelings too unlike european and other men. This may be a post to spew hate against african men and nothing more.

Some Nigerian men act like cheating is their birthright so the OPs story isn't farfetched in my opinion

Don’t worry husband material for sale here,2and half yard.its enough to sew short and tank top

nanauju:
The things I read about marriage gets me mad scared about that institute

This is what a woman gets, when the man pays all the bills and feeds her like a baby, he will treat her like such.

Daeylar:


I'm glad you know the best thing is to get a divorce and move on.

I wish you all the best.



Such a useless man. Please mind your business, and your business doesnt include a cheater. And a man who talks to you any which way.



You're beautiful. Don't listen to a word he says.



African men know. A lot just don't care. When you talk they attack you for talking. Ignore them and live your best life. They aren't worth it
Calm down. Don't rush for any kind of revenge.. Focus on leaving him first. Divorce him, make sure you and your child are well taken care of. Please surround yourself with people who love and support you.
That's what really matters now. Ignore the fool.

It will be all right.

You are just here to spread your hate against african men, why are you even here? You should go and date european men and hang on their forums....... And there is nothing justifiable about cheating on your wife and polygamy is not the same as cheating, people from cultures which practises polygamy are uppfront with it, otherwise its cheating its that simple. And then OP goes calling african men cold hearted instead of the partner whom she choose to marry... You will never see european women bash all their men just because 1 person did 1 bad thing.

Needtolove:
Hi nairalanders this post is going to be quite disorganized, as I am not such a good writer. Just need an avenue to let our some steam. No advise needed too. The only way forward for me is to quit my marriage.

The reason for this write up is to ease the pain of betrayal that comes from my husband cheating on me with a our neighbor,what really hurts is that after I investigated and found out her identity, I presented him with hard evidence ,instead of an apology he said he is an African man o and polygamy is allowed. He says I should better mind my business as the said girl is not disturbing me. He further stated that the girl is crazy o, so I should not even think of confronting her

Just this morning she had the nerve to come to my apartment with her room mate to clarify some house issues. The nerve of all of them. Really want to make them pay. Really want to make my husband suffer.
This guy body shames me at any chance he gets. (I have a four month old baby) he says am ugly and shapless, and my breast are flat

I want African men to know that women have feelings too, am expected to bottle up my pain and be a woman. When I react violently he calls me mad woman. He is still with her and I am still expected to mind my business.
I will though, but they will both get it.

I am an African man and I don't support all this shit.

Mhen...this is very bad. Please, no matter what you do...try not to commit murder so tht you don't suffer for the misdemeanor of others. I won't actually blame you if you leave for them so that he can realize how precious you are t him

ibkayee:

Some Nigerian men act like cheating is their birthright so the OPs story isn't farfetched in my opinion

Maybe so but call it what it is then, cheating, and not polygami. And polygami is not practised in all african cultures and instead of making a posts to batch african men and saying we are cold hearted who will cheat on our women without thinking about their feelings she should batch her own husband whom she choose. But OP may be fake and is just here to batch african men.

truthsayer009:


This is a lie abeg, infact a very big one at that. These signs always show when you are dating.

You will notice people who are Proud, Cheats, gets angry at the slightest provocation etc

Nobody should come with this crap that they never knew when they were courting. Please.

Dude, he literally meant the same thing

Did you read his comments well?

Oblongata:
It is well with you my sister!

At the earliest stage of marriage, many men make a lot of mistakes.

I like to believe they suddenly don't want to get tied down and crave freedom.

It's not like they were not prepared for marriage, or their behavior is anyway your fault, I like to believe they are exercising their seemingly seeping away 'youthful exuberances', some come at a far price (lifetime regrets ), others are lucky.

This is however, no excuse to treat or be treated bad.

I am ashamed to say i was like that in my early marriage, i disrespected my wife, and I took alcohol and womanized a lot!

I am quite fortunate I am part of the few that fortunately didn't lose out a lot, as I quickly found myself back on track and ensured i made up for all my wrong by tirelessly making my wife happy tiLL the end of time... No stds, no outside pregnancies, just financial mishaps, ain't i lucky?

Your husband might come around, and he might not...nobody promised us life would be rosy.

But always stay true to yourself and seek happiness, no matter what it will cost you.

Please go seek the advice of a pastor. . .

Many of them have wise counsels. . .

Please you can try 'grace point' church, very good church for marriages

Shalom

You are honest, a rare quality on social media.

Mbakuthegreat:


Maybe so but call it what it is then, cheating, and not polygami. And polygami is not practised in all african cultures and instead of making a posts to batch african men and saying we are cold hearted who will cheat on our women without thinking about their feelings she should batch her own husband whom she choose. But OP may be fake and is just here to batch african men.

If he can cheat so brazenly and boast about polygamy, what stops him from officially going through with it and bringing in another wife? It's only a matter of time. Polygamy is still widely practiced in a lot of places in Africa

You think she concocted this story to bring down the African man? Lool

Sorry ma

Woman are actually the source of there own problem,so u knw this man is ur neighbour who has a wife and a kid,u still going out with him,no sense of dignity
Ur hubby is under attack,he doesn't even knw what he is doing and this is a plot by the devil to devour ur marriage..
Just leave the house for him for now,and begin to pray fervent prayers,if possible go for deliverance and start praying hard

Day One ish....

I have learnt more on defensive & offensive plan in marriage.

No One hear from the other side.

BitmapStudios:

I tried sending you an email but I don't understand this Nairaland system. Can you send me email or what's app number to +2349023548199?
Did you know there are much better ways to this than your initial resolution? Let's talk, please.

Have you considered if this story was fake and written because the aim is to generate traffic.

fuckerstard:
Pack your bags and leave while you can..


I hope you're not one of those full time house wife, if yes find your way if na to go to your folks. Staying married is not a joke, it is either you're in or out..

Who doesn't feel tempted to go out there and have fun, fornicate and live free with nobody breathing down your neck. You can't be hurting and abusing your wife, even with her present state.

Don't get married if you can't be loyal!

And you sure you have a new husband to give him?
I will excuse you because I don't expect a a gay to know what it takes to manage a home

ibkayee:

If he can cheat so brazenly and boast about polygamy, what stops him from officially going through with it and bringing in another wife? It's only a matter of time. Polygamy is still widely practiced in a lot of places in Africa

You think she concocted this story to bring down the African man? Lool

Again polygamy and cheating is not the same thing, if he actually believed in polygamy himself and thought that it was the way to live then why was he keeping it a secret that he was sleeping with another women? That was an random excuse spewed out for his bad behaviour and its such a bad excuse that i cant imagine any man using it which is why i have my suspisions that OP may be here to batch african men and their way of life... What is she implying then saying that african men need to know that women have feelings, are we emotioneless unlike european men? That is basically what she is saying. She shouldn’t try to use her bad husband that she choose as the representation of african men. Did i say that polygamy is not practised in africa? And polygamy is not the problem here, cheating is. And OP has not responded to any of the comments, if she doesn’t after a day it probably nothing more than a fake person here to spew shit and not genuine.

Ignore them I know you would be hurt right now. Be a loving wife respect him do not discuss the issue with anyone take good care of your self register in a gym
to keep you fit dress well always look beautiful morning afternoon night have your own business when he realised is mistake starve him with Sex

oluwamile:
Woman are actually the source of there own problem,so u knw this man is ur neighbour who has a wife and a kid,u still going out with him,no sense of dignity
Ur hubby is under attack,he doesn't even knw what he is doing and this is a plot by the devil to devour ur marriage..
Just leave the house for him for now,and begin to pray fervent prayers,if possible go for deliverance and start praying hard

First I’m skeptical about the thread. Don’t know if it’s true or not. However, some women can be crafty and her aim is to kick the wife out. The wife is already considering that option and if she’s Hell bent on that, I wish her the best.

The husband messed up. You don’t bring your shit home. Respect your family.

Mbakuthegreat:


Again polygamy and cheating is not the same thing, if he actually believed in polygamy himself and thought that it was the way to live then why was he keeping it a secret that he was sleeping with another women? That was an random excuse spewed out for his bad behaviour and its such a bad excuse that i cant imagine any man using it which is why i have my suspisions that OP may be here to batch african men and their way of life... What is she implying then saying that african men need to know that women have feelings, are we emotioneless unlike european men? That is basically what she is saying. She shouldn’t try to use her bad husband that she choose as the representation of african men. Did i say that polygamy is not practised in africa? And polygamy is not the problem here, cheating is. And OP has not responded to any of the comments, if she doesn’t after a day it probably nothing more than a fake person here to spew shit and not genuine.

I agree with you completely. Had my doubts with the story. Bashing men seems to generate online traffic especially from women.

It's well dear

This will cheer u up�

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2ncJsXsb7c

Mznaett:


If I were you, the moment I find out my partner is cheating on me, I'm out.

.

Pray it doesnt happen to you when you marry. Obviously you are single

Some of the advice here are just sickening

That's all I'll say about that..

As for OP I pray to God to give you the strength to take care of yourself and your kid

And for God to give you the wisdom to take the BEST decision for yourself and yoir kid

Mbakuthegreat:


Again polygamy and cheating is not the same thing, if he actually believed in polygamy himself and thought that it was the way to live then why was he keeping it a secret that he was sleeping with another women? That was an random excuse spewed out for his bad behaviour and its such a bad excuse that i cant imagine any man using it which is why i have my suspisions that OP may be here to batch african men and their way of life... What is she implying then saying that african men need to know that women have feelings, are we emotioneless unlike european men? That is basically what she is saying. She shouldn’t try to use her bad husband that she choose as the representation of african men. Did i say that polygamy is not practised in africa? And polygamy is not the problem here, cheating is. And OP has not responded to any of the comments, if she doesn’t after a day it probably nothing more than a fake person here to spew shit and not genuine.

she is in pain right now and saying things like this is expected of someone in pain

A lot of men dey fall hand tho

oluwamile:
Woman are actually the source of there own problem,so u knw this man is ur neighbour who has a wife and a kid,u still going out with him,no sense of dignity
Ur hubby is under attack,he doesn't even knw what he is doing and this is a plot by the devil to devour ur marriage..
Just leave the house for him for now,and begin to pray fervent prayers,if possible go for deliverance and start praying hard

the man is NOT under anything

he took an irresponsible decision