Penisinpenisout:


Just remember those lovely traits that attracted you to him in the beginning and quit dwelling on the negatives ;-)

JoannaSedley:
WHAT IS THIS FOR CHRIST SAKE
She should pray for him to do what exactly? For God to give him the strength to cheat more loool because I don't get. If she is the one cheating now, they will be calling her name, disgrace or do all sorts of rubbish. Nonsense
To continue hurting her by being an African man?
Pray for him for hurting and body shaming the mother of his kids?
It is her fault that her husband is a community penis

This advise is beyond unbelievable.


Op, you are hurting deeply so get out of that house before they kill you or you kill them. That horseband of yours will open the door of your house for his concubines to kill or maim you when you least expect it.
Be careful.

kennygee:
Dear woman, I can imagine the emotional and psychological pain you're going thru, however, making a decision right now might not be wise cause it will be an emotional one.

Just keep praying for him and ask God for strength to overcome. It is only when there's a crack in the wall that a lizard can enter.

Start working out the little way you can, start dressing really nice, so nice you'll get compliments outside. It will improve your self esteem, wear make up, smell nice. It might not stop him from cheating but it will build up your self esteem and confidence so much that you'll see you're not the problem.

You'll be in a better place to decide if you want to stay with him or leave.

All the best.

I hope you have a job or a business sha?

Cause the best security a woman can have is her own money.

JoannaSedley:
WHAT IS THIS FOR CHRIST SAKE
She should pray for him to do what exactly? To continue hurting her by being an African man?
Pray for him for hurting and body shaming the mother of his kids?
It is her fault that her husband is a community penis

This advise is beyond unbelievable.


Op, you are hurting deeply so get out of that house before they kill you or you kill them. That horseband of yours will open the door of your house for his concubines to kill or maim you when you least expect it.
Be careful.

ifyalways:
^^Pray for his dyke to become unresponsive at the sight of any other puuuu....

@OP, gather yourself together. Try. You have a four months old child who needs you so pull yourself together. Imagine you dying and your child at the mercy of that lady as the step mom. Horrible right? Then put yourself together for your child. It's difficult but doable.

Stay calm and think. Your husband has shown u his cards, what's yours? Nobody is worth spilling blood for though. Or getting your hands dirty unnecessary so stay calm and think things through .be selfish. Think and plan for yourself and child. Don't act on any impulse now. Don't rush on decision now. Stay calm and think plan A,B, C.

To stay or leave? That's solely your decision but take your time. Please dont waste your time praying for him, pray or yourself and child instead if you must pray. Don't apologise or go beg for anything either. You didnt do no wrong.

ibkayee:
Don’t waste any useless prayer on him. Cheating is one thing, his lack of remorse and arrogance has sealed the deal. He has also given the girl he cheated with wings to address you anyhow.

I’d pack out if I were you personally and get a divorce. But then again, I’m not privy to your financial situation and don’t know if you’d have the means to make such drastic decisions, especially with a 4 month old baby.

It’s up to you, you’re better positioned to make the most practical decision since you’re the one in the situation. Are you a full time housewife? Do you have your own money?

I’m reluctant to advise you seek the help of your family because we know how that usually goes for a woman. But if you have understanding family members that you can stay with, go to them for the time being if you want to be in a different environment and can’t afford to do so alone.

Most important thing is to leave him make the best and safest decision for yourself and the baby.

grandstar:


Men like your husband end up regretting their actions.

Take any action you consider proactive. Just don't take one that will ruin your life. Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater.

The Bible does support divorce and remarriage in the event of adultery. The Bible gives leeway to the offended spouse to remarry.

Mznaett:
You don't advise a woman who's going through so much pains in her marriage to pray .

If you do, you are not different from the "man" who put her in such a messy situation.

@op

If I were you, the moment I find out my partner is cheating on me, I'm out.

There's no point questioning his action.

Skmoda360:

To think you are a fool is an understatement but you are just a bigot who can't think except diverting his talk towards another tribe......you are typical example of a dimwit

Glorylynn:
That keep praying for him dey always vex me,damn!! I am a man but I feel women deserves peace of mind,someone is doing something wrong and he is even bold about it and you are saying she should be praying for him,assuming it was a woman that did this you will all be here shouting divorce up and down,do we have 2heads as a man?women deserves to be happy too in a marriage and stop carrying emotional burden..
it’s so horrible in this our part of the world,most times I feel the reason why women stay in an abusive marriage is just because of lack of money and I pray the lord bless every female on earth abundantly and make them breadwinners too.

Needtolove:
Hi nairalanders this post is going to be quite disorganized, as I am not such a good writer. Just need an avenue to let our some steam. No advise needed too. The only way forward for me is to quit my marriage.

The reason for this write up is to ease the pain of betrayal that comes from my husband cheating on me with a our neighbor,what really hurts is that after I investigated and found out her identity, I presented him with hard evidence ,instead of an apology he said he is an African man o and polygamy is allowed. He says I should better mind my business as the said girl is not disturbing me. He further stated that the girl is crazy o, so I should not even think of confronting her

Just this morning she had the nerve to come to my apartment with her room mate to clarify some house issues. The nerve of all of them. Really want to make them pay. Really want to make my husband suffer.
This guy body shames me at any chance he gets. (I have a four month old baby) he says am ugly and shapless, and my breast are flat

I want African men to know that women have feelings too, am expected to bottle up my pain and be a woman. When I react violently he calls me mad woman. He is still with her and I am still expected to mind my business.
I will though, but they will both get it.

imitateMe:

True love is about being ready to sacrifice. You see, my dear, I love advising women to shun the fish brain attitude and embrace true love and sacrifice.

The woman needs to love, care, pray and submit totally to him. She can also lay down her life for his.

merahki:



I know you are typing from a good place
But, is this what you would tell your daughter or sister or cousin should they, “God forbid”, find themselves in a situation like this?
Answer this honestly
Then come and modify this post accordingly
Cheers

Acidosis:

To be honest, I do not think it is so hard to identify a potential or "would-be" cheat during courtship.

Your husband did not cheat because of your appearance, what you said, did or how you behave. Your husband cheated on you because he's simply a cheat, a child of darkness who masqueraded as a saint, and pretended to be of good intention.

He failed in the sense of pretence, and you failed in the sense that, for some reasons best known to you, you couldn't discover that part of him.

You have two options;

Quit and count your losses OR stay put in the hope that he would someday change. Aside these two, there's nothing else you can do.

Needtolove:
Hi nairalanders this post is going to be quite disorganized, as I am not such a good writer. Just need an avenue to let our some steam. No advise needed too. The only way forward for me is to quit my marriage.

The reason for this write up is to ease the pain of betrayal that comes from my husband cheating on me with a our neighbor,what really hurts is that after I investigated and found out her identity, I presented him with hard evidence ,instead of an apology he said he is an African man o and polygamy is allowed. He says I should better mind my business as the said girl is not disturbing me. He further stated that the girl is crazy o, so I should not even think of confronting her

Just this morning she had the nerve to come to my apartment with her room mate to clarify some house issues. The nerve of all of them. Really want to make them pay. Really want to make my husband suffer.
This guy body shames me at any chance he gets. (I have a four month old baby) he says am ugly and shapless, and my breast are flat

I want African men to know that women have feelings too, am expected to bottle up my pain and be a woman. When I react violently he calls me mad woman. He is still with her and I am still expected to mind my business.
I will though, but they will both get it.

kennygee:
Dear woman, I can imagine the emotional and psychological pain you're going thru, however, making a decision right now might not be wise cause it will be an emotional one.

Just keep praying for him and ask God for strength to overcome. It is only when there's a crack in the wall that a lizard can enter.

Start working out the little way you can, start dressing really nice, so nice you'll get compliments outside. It will improve your self esteem, wear make up, smell nice. It might not stop him from cheating but it will build up your self esteem and confidence so much that you'll see you're not the problem.

You'll be in a better place to decide if you want to stay with him or leave.

All the best.

I hope you have a job or a business sha?

Cause the best security a woman can have is her own money.

JoannaSedley:
WHAT IS THIS FOR CHRIST SAKE
She should pray for him to do what exactly? To continue hurting her by being an African man?
Pray for him for hurting and body shaming the mother of his kids?
It is her fault that her husband is a community penis

This advise is beyond unbelievable.


Op, you are hurting deeply so get out of that house before they kill you or you kill them. That horseband of yours will open the door of your house for his concubines to kill or maim you when you least expect it.
Be careful.

SageMK:


So call out your husband for his crimes but do not bash us along. If only you scrutinized him well before marriage...

Oblongata:
It is well with you my sister!

At the earliest stage of marriage, many men make a lot of mistakes.

I like to believe they suddenly don't want to get tied down and crave freedom.

It's not like they were not prepared for marriage, or their behavior is anyway your fault, I like to believe they are exercising their seemingly seeping away 'youthful exuberances', some come at a far price (lifetime regrets ), others are lucky.

This is however, no excuse to treat or be treated bad.

I am ashamed to say i was like that in my early marriage, i disrespected my wife, and I took alcohol and womanized a lot!

I am quite fortunate I am part of the few that fortunately didn't lose out a lot, as I quickly found myself back on track and ensured i made up for all my wrong by tirelessly making my wife happy tiLL the end of time... No stds, no outside pregnancies, just financial mishaps, ain't i lucky?

Your husband might come around, and he might not...nobody promised us life would be rosy.

But always stay true to yourself and seek happiness, no matter what it will cost you.

Please go seek the advice of a pastor. . .

Many of them have wise counsels. . .

Please you can try 'grace point' church, very good church for marriages

Shalom

ifyalways:
^^ Pray for his dyke to become unresponsive at the sight of any other puuuu....

@OP, gather yourself together. Try. You have a four months old child who needs you so pull yourself together. Imagine you dying and your child at the mercy of that lady as the step mom. Horrible right? Then put yourself together for your child. It's difficult but doable.

Stay calm and think. Your husband has shown u his cards, what's yours? Nobody is worth spilling blood for though. Or getting your hands dirty unnecessary so stay calm and think things through .be selfish. Think and plan for yourself and child. Don't act on any impulse now. Don't rush on decision now. Stay calm and think plan A,B, C.

To stay or leave? That's solely your decision but take your time. Please dont waste your time praying for him, pray or yourself and child instead if you must pray. Don't apologise or go beg for anything either. You didnt do no wrong.

Mznaett:
You don't advise a woman who's going through so much pains in her marriage to pray .

If you do, you are not different from the "man" who put her in such a messy situation.

@op

If I were you, the moment I find out my partner is cheating on me, I'm out.

There's no point questioning his action.

sod09:
this is a one sided story what if the husband come with a different one, why do we judge so easily

imitateMe:

You need to encourage her to pray and love her husband unconditionally. It may be difficult to tolerate the abuse, but there is no other way than praying for him, looking the best you can for him, preparing the best dishes for him, be willing to even die for him!
Women must be submissive totally.

I nevertheless admire your willingness to help solve her problem.

Mbakuthegreat:


Again polygamy and cheating is not the same thing, if he actually believed in polygamy himself and thought that it was the way to live then why was he keeping it a secret that he was sleeping with another women? That was an random excuse spewed out for his bad behaviour and its such a bad excuse that i cant imagine any man using it which is why i have my suspisions that OP may be here to batch african men and their way of life... What is she implying then saying that african men need to know that women have feelings, are we emotioneless unlike european men? That is basically what she is saying. She shouldn’t try to use her bad husband that she choose as the representation of african men. Did i say that polygamy is not practised in africa? And polygamy is not the problem here, cheating is. And OP has not responded to any of the comments, if she doesn’t after a day it probably nothing more than a fake person here to spew shit and not genuine.

Needtolove:
Hi nairalanders this post is going to be quite disorganized, as I am not such a good writer. Just need an avenue to let our some steam. No advise needed too. The only way forward for me is to quit my marriage.

The reason for this write up is to ease the pain of betrayal that comes from my husband cheating on me with a our neighbor,what really hurts is that after I investigated and found out her identity, I presented him with hard evidence ,instead of an apology he said he is an African man o and polygamy is allowed. He says I should better mind my business as the said girl is not disturbing me. He further stated that the girl is crazy o, so I should not even think of confronting her

Just this morning she had the nerve to come to my apartment with her room mate to clarify some house issues. The nerve of all of them. Really want to make them pay. Really want to make my husband suffer.
This guy body shames me at any chance he gets. (I have a four month old baby) he says am ugly and shapless, and my breast are flat

I want African men to know that women have feelings too, am expected to bottle up my pain and be a woman. When I react violently he calls me mad woman. He is still with her and I am still expected to mind my business.
I will though, but they will both get it.

Chiefochiefo:

Ewu

ikennahillary:


Well, the truth remains that she never mentioned they had church wedding, even if they did, it still does not legally stop the man from having another wife.

I know lot of families that are happy with 2-3 wivies leaving together.

To be candy ladies should ease there pain and move on if the situation become so difficult to contain,instend of causing body damage on there husband or competitor.

This is not as complicated as we make it look.

Let her just be easy when taken discussions, it's either going to make or break you.