merahki:
Taking the average Nigerian situation into consideration? I honestly think that any partnership where the woman’s only financial responsibility is food/meal provision is a good deal
One could say this is still part of keeping house
If I had a husband or partner who took care of every financial responsibility in the house but food provision? I would be respect him like no end, can even call him daddy sef and mean it!

He provides rent, school fees, car maintenance, fuel, gadgets, clothing, dates/outing, holiday, utility, etc money? He is gold and deserves the all star treatment - this woman should take up the house keeping and child minding duties because she has struck gold. Well if I were the marrying kind I would
Or was the OP a sarcastic one that I missed?
A drink is probably what I need now

bukatyne:
Was expectations not discussed during courtship?

And nothing pisses me off than spouses sweeping issues under the carpet when they should communicate.

Is eating bread or outside everyday the solution to the problem?

Theyoungmatron:
A man that can't provide for his family
He expects his wife to provide for the family but will call himself a man
The family section is getting dysfunctional by the day.
The woman is expected to provide money for food, buy the food for the family, cook the meal and wait for the adulterated prick to come home and eat I raise yansh for una.

Theyoungmatron:
|Every other things like what When you are not feeding your family as a man, it nullifies every other thing you are doing. A man that waits for a woman to feed him. A man that shares his god giving responsibility of putting food on the table with his wife, that man is less OF a man. The new generation of men has watered down their responsibilities to the extent of delegating FEEDING, SHELTER AND SCHOOL FEES TO THEIR WIVES and still expect to be respected.

Let the wife provide the money, let the man buy and cook, i think the woman will agree to this since we are in the era of delegation

Theyoungmatron:
A man that can't provide for his family
He expects his wife to provide for the family but will call himself a man
The family section is getting dysfunctional by the day.
The woman is expected to provide money for food, buy the food for the family, cook the meal and wait for the adulterated prick to come home and eat I raise yansh for una.

crackhaus:

Chuks9000:
Selfishness on your part.
Who pays for house rent? Other household items (fuel for car and gen, etc)?
If it's just food and you are complaining, then I wonder what your views of marriage is.

UjuJoan2:


What's the face? That is the simple truth!

A man that cannot feed his family is not a complete man. Food is key and should be every man's duty.

They teach my kids in school that a father provides for the family while a mother cooks . . . who are we to argue with the wise teachers? .

merahki:
Of course the absolute best would be when he provides everything
And lets me spend all my money on nothing. He also lets me have as much help as I want-cook oo, maid oo, dish washer oo, laundry gadgets oo, all
Then cooks for me a lot when it is just us two
But this man here would be an angel eh? Or a maga, or a super rich
And to top it all, he has a mild or very low grade obsession with me, therefore wants to always please me sexually, and has eyes for no one else
He is super cerebral too, fine in a tall and dark way with dimpled cheeks and some body hair, but not in Ric Ross proportions
Well dreams are nice, and somebody right now somewhere is wishing upon this dream

UjuJoan2:


Just food? Like seriously, you think food is 'just'
A woman should not be responsible for something as vital and recurrent as feeding. As much as she should support, constantly providing food for the family should not be her responsibility.
She can periodically provide foodstuffs, or even contribute to rent, maybe pay some water or light bills . . . but feeding? Nah . . . that's too big a burden.
I know that feeding takes a huge percentage of my family's upkeep, more than rent, fuel or whatever other bill is expected.
Feeding is vital.

crackhaus:

merahki:



Good morning
I am obsessing about this issue now
Feeding is a big responsibility but when providing this it is the only financial responsibility a woman has in the house? I think it is fair oo
The couple has 4 kids (5, 7, 11 and 13 years old) for instance and live in a 2 bedroom flat. The man has a totota Camry and the woman a Toyota Corolla (she either bought it before marriage with her own money or the husband got it for her after they hooked up)
I am trying to calculate the monthly household expenditure for this unit

Monthly rent 25K
Power -15K, water(they buy from tankers and must be most frugal with it to use up one tank load per month)-4K, petrol for generator @3litres only per day-13,500K, petrol for the two cars-56K, dstv compact (the minimum that can serve up some fair cartoons and football)-6K, cooking gas-5K, pure water @1bag/day- 3K, (128K so far, I hope)
Then paying school fees, not top notch private schools at all @ 150 each child times 4 is 600K divides by 12 -50K
This would most probably increase with increasing age and and level of education with Common Entrance,JAMB, SSCE,NECO, postUME etc all lurking/looming

Oil servicing same three changes per year (usually more but let’s make it three)-12K then divided by 12 - 1K
Clothing money for a year- 150K divided by 12- 12500K (I am sure I underquoted this one, maybe twice what I have submitted even)
Okay toothpaste, toilet rolls, soap, body lotions, detergent-?5K
Total so far -190something
Miscellaneous has to come in, maybe-10K? So monthly total spending for the man is the above

Then the woman has to provide the food? And cannot buy in bulk because erratic power supply and etc? Say buys 4 chickens per month 10K and beef of 8K? Rice 50cup/month 5k, beans 40cups/month 3200K, crayfish 1painter 2500K, dried fish withstock fish 5K, tomatoes and pepper 10K, garri 6 painters 2100, yam 2K, vegetables 3K
Ogbono 800, egusi 10 cups- 3000
Breakfast stuff 1K a day- 30K (100K so far)
Okay this is a lot of spending
Feeding is huge, but any woman who can do this is a pure gem to her man.
I would want this kind of woman for my brother

In the scenario I created, the man spends 200 to 205K every month, and the woman spend 95-105K every month
I actually like it, they are both showing up, and the man is doing substantially more as the head of the house
Supposing they were both workers Federal Public Complaints Commision and each is paid 150K/month, how would they do it? The man has to have side hustles, plenty
Marriage in a country without any form of government financial support or risk protection is a huge thing to undertake
This couple with the hypothetical salaries should have just have one child, or two
But they are most likely to have 3,4,or 5

I have exhausted myself, and I don’t know why!
Cheers

crackhaus:

God in his infinite wisdom has made it such that the 'completeness' or 'realness' of a man is NOT defined by what women think of him. Hallelujah!!

If it was by what women think, I doubt there will be any permanent real/complete men in this world.
The man can even wake up complete but before evening, he will be incomplete..or he will be real today, and not real tomorrow...all depending on how good he is able to make a woman feel emotionally.

Thank God for God oo.

merahki:
Taking the average Nigerian situation into consideration? I honestly think that any partnership where the woman’s only financial responsibility is food/meal provision is a good deal
One could say this is still part of keeping house
If I had a husband or partner who took care of every financial responsibility in the house but food provision? I would respect him like no end, can even call him daddy sef and mean it!

He provides rent, school fees, car maintenance, fuel, gadgets, clothing, dates/outing, holiday, utility, etc money? He is gold and deserves the all star treatment - this woman should take up the house keeping and child minding duties because she has struck gold. Well if I were the marrying kind I would
Or was the OP a sarcastic one that I missed?
A drink is probably what I need now

merahki:



Good morning
I am obsessing about this issue now
Feeding is a big responsibility but when providing this it is the only financial responsibility a woman has in the house? I think it is fair oo
The couple has 4 kids (5, 7, 11 and 13 years old) for instance and live in a 2 bedroom flat. The man has a Toyota Camry and the woman a Toyota Corolla (she either bought it before marriage with her own money or the husband got it for her after they hooked up)
I am trying to calculate the monthly household expenditure for this unit

Monthly rent 25K
Power -15K, water(they buy from tankers and must be most frugal with it to use up one tank load per month)-4K, petrol for generator @3litres only per day-13,500K, petrol for the two cars-56K, dstv compact (the minimum that can serve up some fair cartoons and football)-6K, cooking gas-5K, pure water @1bag/day- 3K, (128K so far, I hope)
Then paying school fees, not top notch private schools at all @ 150 each child times 4 is 600K divided by 12 -50K
This would most probably increase with increasing age and and level of education with Common Entrance,JAMB, SSCE,NECO, postUME etc all lurking/looming

Oil servicing same three changes per year (usually more but let’s make it three)@ 6k/change is 18K and times 2 cars is 36K then divided by 12 - 3K
Clothing money for a year- 150K divided by 12- 12500K (I am sure I underquoted this one, maybe twice what I have submitted even)
Okay toothpaste, toilet rolls, soap, body lotions, detergent-?5K
Total so far -190something
Miscellaneous has to come in, maybe-10K? So monthly total spending for the man is the above

Then the woman has to provide the food? And cannot buy in bulk because erratic power supply and etc? Say buys 4 chickens per month 10K and beef of 8K? Rice 50cups/month 5k, beans 40cups/month 3200K, crayfish 1painter 2500K, dried fish withstock fish 5K, tomatoes and pepper 10K, garri 6 painters 2100, yam 2K, vegetables 3K
Ogbono 800, egusi 10 cups- 3000
Breakfast stuff 1K a day- 30K (100K so far)
Okay this is a lot of spending
Feeding is huge, but any woman who can do this is a pure gem to her man.
I would want this kind of woman for my brother

In the scenario I created, the man spends 200 to 205K every month, and the woman spends 95-105K every month
I actually like it, they are both showing up, and the man is doing substantially more as the head of the house
Supposing they were both working with the Federal Public Complaints Commision and each is paid 150K/month, how would they do it? The man has to have side hustles, plenty
Marriage in a country without any form of government financial support or risk protection is a huge thing to undertake
This couple with the hypothetical salaries should have just have one child, or two at most
But they are most likely to have 3,4,or 5

I have exhausted myself, and I don’t know why!
Cheers

merahki:


Just the highlighted? Taken from the whole post? Looks like low grade porn
Not my intent
What does this meme mean? You are watching me in high definition?
Cheers

UjuJoan2:


Money matter is exhausting!!!

School fees and house rent are periodical, they don't get paid monthly . . . Most working parents often collect some sort of upfront (housing and other allowances), to help with these bills anyway. And they can save and plan towards it, unlike feeding that is a constant and recurrent expenditure.

I know how much we spend on feeding monthly and there is no way I will take that burden upon myself, even if I have the means. I'll rather contribute to other periodic expenses, and not feel the constant pressure to put food on the table daily.

But that is just me . . and also the problem here, as this woman is not finding it easy. Do you think if she believes the sharing formula is well balanced she will be here complaining?

In any case, if a man is financially capable of feeding his family, why place the burden on the wife? I am a strong believer that women should not be put under any form of financial pressure. Our role is to SUPPORT. I should be able to resign my job, and not worry about how my children will feed.

Truth is that this country is tough, and men should work harder to support their families.

UjuJoan2:


Money matter is exhausting!!!

School fees and house rent are periodical, they don't get paid monthly . . . Most working parents often collect some sort of upfront (housing and other allowances), to help with these bills anyway. And they can save and plan towards it, unlike feeding that is a constant and recurrent expenditure.

I know how much we spend on feeding monthly and there is no way I will take that burden upon myself, even if I have the means. I'll rather contribute to other periodic expenses, and not feel the constant pressure to put food on the table daily.

But that is just me . . and also the problem here, as this woman is not finding it easy. Do you think if she believes the sharing formula is well balanced she will be here complaining?

In any case, if a man is financially capable of feeding his family, why place the burden on the wife? I am a strong believer that women should not be put under any form of financial pressure. Our role is to SUPPORT. I should be able to resign my job, and not worry about how my children will feed.

Truth is that this country is tough, and men should work harder to support their families.

UjuJoan2:


BE there speaking grammar . . . when you get married your eyes will open!

Gloriagee:
Are costs for baby food, biscuits, cereals, indomie, bread,milk and other food items you typically buy in a supermarket covered under breakfast cost? Not to mention the cost for fried rice, chicken and chips when home cooked etc. These things add up.

Exhausting stuff

crackhaus:

And this my friends is exactly why women will continue to be women.

Money matter don come, they will agree to support and not drag leadership.
Tell them to be submissive, they will come for your head.

My brothers, hear read me.
Please make money and make lots of it. This is the goal in life.
Not falling in love, not finding a good woman, not marriage. MONEY.

Make money, I repeat, make money and be comfortable. It is the most important goal oo. Children are the bonus, they are the cherry on top of money goals, not wife oo.
A word is enough for the wise.

merahki:



Good morning
I am obsessing about this issue now
Feeding is a big responsibility but when providing this it is the only financial responsibility a woman has in the house? I think it is fair oo
The couple has 4 kids (5, 7, 11 and 13 years old) for instance and live in a 2 bedroom flat. The man has a Toyota Camry and the woman a Toyota Corolla (she either bought it before marriage with her own money or the husband got it for her after they hooked up)
I am trying to calculate the monthly household expenditure for this unit

Monthly rent 25K
Power -15K, water(they buy from tankers and must be most frugal with it to use up one tank load per month)-4K, petrol for generator @3litres only per day-13,500K, petrol for the two cars-56K, dstv compact (the minimum that can serve up some fair cartoons and football)-6K, cooking gas-5K, pure water @1bag/day- 3K, (128K so far, I hope)
Then paying school fees, not top notch private schools at all @ 150 each child times 4 is 600K divided by 12 -50K
This would most probably increase with increasing age and and level of education with Common Entrance,JAMB, SSCE,NECO, postUME etc all lurking/looming

Oil servicing same three changes per year (usually more but let’s make it three)@ 6k/change is 18K and times 2 cars is 36K then divided by 12 - 3K
Clothing money for a year- 150K divided by 12- 12500K (I am sure I underquoted this one, maybe twice what I have submitted even)
Okay toothpaste, toilet rolls, soap, body lotions, detergent-?5K
Total so far -190something
Miscellaneous has to come in, maybe-10K? So monthly total spending for the man is the above

Then the woman has to provide the food? And cannot buy in bulk because erratic power supply and etc? Say buys 4 chickens per month 10K and beef of 8K? Rice 50cups/month 5k, beans 40cups/month 3200K, crayfish 1painter 2500K, dried fish withstock fish 5K, tomatoes and pepper 10K, garri 6 painters 2100, yam 2K, vegetables 3K
Ogbono 800, egusi 10 cups- 3000
Breakfast stuff 1K a day- 30K (100K so far)
Okay this is a lot of spending
Feeding is huge, but any woman who can do this is a pure gem to her man.
I would want this kind of woman for my brother

In the scenario I created, the man spends 200 to 205K every month, and the woman spends 95-105K every month
I actually like it, they are both showing up, and the man is doing substantially more as the head of the house
Supposing they were both working with the Federal Public Complaints Commision and each is paid 150K/month, how would they do it? The man has to have side hustles, plenty
Marriage in a country without any form of government financial support or risk protection is a huge thing to undertake
This couple with the hypothetical salaries should have just have one child, or two at most
But they are most likely to have 3,4,or 5

I have exhausted myself, and I don’t know why!
Cheers

merahki:


I agree at wanting to just really want to play a supportive role
I actually want to spend zero Naira

I know some bills are periodic, I just got the monthly equivalents for such. Not all workers get allowances like bankers. For us there is just that paltry housing allowance every month

With the country all twisted, and unemployment and underemployment everywhere, with extended family responsibilities too? I would love that lady for my brother if he is not a super rich Igbo man who is totally in control of finances, as provider in every sense of the word
Well done at marriage
Nodu ofuma

bukatyne:
Was expectations not discussed during courtship?

And nothing pisses me off than spouses sweeping issues under the carpet when they should communicate.

Is eating bread or outside everyday the solution to the problem?

merahki:




We call it, nwanne, jee chuba/chuwa ego

Theyoungmatron:
A man that can't provide for his family
He expects his wife to provide for the family but will call himself a man
The family section is getting dysfunctional by the day.
The woman is expected to provide money for food, buy the food for the family, cook the meal and wait for the adulterated prick to come home and eat I raise yansh for una.

Theyoungmatron:
|Every other things like what When you are not feeding your family as a man, it nullifies every other thing you are doing. A man that waits for a woman to feed him. A man that shares his god giving responsibility of putting food on the table with his wife, that man is less OF a man. The new generation of men has watered down their responsibilities to the extent of delegating FEEDING, SHELTER AND SCHOOL FEES TO THEIR WIVES and still expect to be respected.

Let the wife provide the money, let the man buy and cook, i think the woman will agree to this since we are in the era of delegation

UjuJoan2:


What about your daughter? Would you want to put her under such pressure?

Remember a woman is under a natural pressure to breed and handle the home front. That's why God made men the major breadwinners . . . to give women the chance to breed!

funmisticqueen:
Being married to him is helping out plenty, let him be a man and buy foodstuffs

crackhaus:

You even did this using four (4) kids, very nice.

However, how many women still want to birth 4kids today when they have body goals to work towards?

The woman in the OP doesn't even have one child and she's complaining of feeding.
Why will men not continue dying before their wives?

And even after death, just like on another thread the other day, this is the kind of wife that will still be throwing a hissy-fit if her husband decides to will his wealth to the children and not to her.
Men gotta be wise in this generation abeg.

merahki:


That’s the main implication of my post
I don’t want it for me (and sister/daughter)
But want it for my brother/son
Shows up gender war for the hypocrisy that it is in my opinion
I am gamophobic as a matter of fact. Too stressful, too limiting in most cases
There must be really nice exceptions though I believe
About the pressure to breed?