crackhaus:

Really?

Tell me something...

You will not understand . . . untill you get married!

You don't know children now have rights. No time to eat what is not their spec. Mum, I want to throw up...

merahki:


Hello
I was going for cheap breakfast
Akara and pap and milk
Bread and egg and hot cocoa not oats and pancake and cornflakes type -breakfast oo
Baby food? For the man oo cos I forgot that bit
Truly honestly exhausting, and feels like prison

UjuJoan2:

If every spending plan is to the last letter, with little or no cross overs? This is a very good deal for a woman in Nigeria today. On a second thought I wouldn’t mind it for myself if I really liked the man and wanted to get married to him
I had to clarify this.
What would be bad is if I was against contributing financially in a marriage and went ahead with the marriage, only to make myself and partner miserable with my resentment.
If one has a problem with bringing money, they should say it upfront, so there won’t be marriage under false guises and expectations
In other words, settling is dehumanising to everyone involved

biGDhAp:



since the man is suppose to do all this

what on earth is the woman suppose to do.

Weekly clean

2 Daily clean

3 Vacuuming

4 Cleaning kitchen/bathroom

5 Heavy duty kitchen cleaning
6 Tidying up

7 Washing clothes

8 Washing bedding

9 Changing sheets

10 Ironing

11 Managing the family budget
12 BEARING THE BRUNT OF CHILD BIRTH/FAMILIY PLANNING AND POTENTIAL INFERTILITY
13 GIVING BIRTH

14 Organizing payment of utility bills

15 Liaising with school/nursery over everyday issues

16 Liaising with school/nursery over trips

17 Being the first person called if there's a problem at school/nursery

18 Packing schoolbags

19 Doing/supervising homework

20 Arranging childcare

21 Arranging applications for primary/secondary school

22 Arranging play dates

23 Taking children to schools

24 Organising birthday parties

25 Buying clothes

26 Organising Christmas

27 Buying family presents/cards

28 Managing hospitals appointments

29 Looking after children at evenings and weekends

30 Search for a nanny to look after the children at evenings and weekends

31 Reading bedtime stories

32 Looking after SICK children

33 Taking time off work to look after SICK children

34 Settling children that wake in the night

35 Organising birthday presents for family members

36 AND MANAGING YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS BULLSHITS

Theyoungmatron:
Weekly clean
2 Daily clean
3 Vacuuming
4 Cleaning kitchen/bathroom
5 Heavy duty kitchen cleaning 6 Tidying up
7 Washing clothes
8 Washing bedding
9 Changing sheets
10 Ironing
11 Managing the family budget 12 BEARING THE BRUNT OF CHILD BIRTH/FAMILIY PLANNING AND POTENTIAL INFERTILITY 13 GIVING BIRTH
14 Organizing payment of utility bills
15 Liaising with school/nursery over everyday issues
16 Liaising with school/nursery over trips
17 Being the first person called if there's a problem at school/nursery
18 Packing schoolbags
19 Doing/supervising homework
20 Arranging childcare
21 Arranging applications for primary/secondary school
22 Arranging play dates
23 Taking children to schools
24 Organising birthday parties
25 Buying clothes
26 Organising Christmas
27 Buying family presents/cards
28 Managing hospitals appointments
29 Looking after children at evenings and weekends
30 Search for a nanny to look after the children at evenings and weekends
31 Reading bedtime stories
32 Looking after SICK children
33 Taking time off work to look after SICK children
34 Settling children that wake in the night
35 Organising birthday presents for family members
36 AND MANAGING YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS BULLSHITS

.. lol ..

are this done everyday ,weekly or monthly??

UjuJoan2:


You will not understand . . . untill you get married!

Really?
You must tell me something oo.

If I tell you say I don already cross that bridge before, the next thing you will then say is until I have 4 kids before I will understand.

Aunty, go siddon abeg.

UjuJoan2:


I have 4 kids . . . . And I'm not dead yet.

Besides if I can sacrifice my body to breed, the man should sacrifice his finances to cater . .

More power to your 'Ukpa'.

No wonder the subject of taking care of feeding alone wants to make you develop high BP.
How much is your salary?

Gloriagee:
You don't know children now have rights. No time to eat what is not their spec. Mum, I want to throw up...

That's if you spoil them.

I know you will not agree.

Theyoungmatron:
Weekly clean
2 Daily clean
3 Vacuuming
4 Cleaning kitchen/bathroom
5 Heavy duty kitchen cleaning
6 Tidying up
7 Washing clothes
8 Washing bedding
9 Changing sheets
10 Ironing
11 Managing the family budget
12 BEARING THE BRUNT OF CHILD BIRTH/FAMILIY PLANNING AND POTENTIAL INFERTILITY
13 GIVING BIRTH
14 Organizing payment of utility bills
15 Liaising with school/nursery over everyday issues
16 Liaising with school/nursery over trips
17 Being the first person called if there's a problem at school/nursery
18 Packing schoolbags
19 Doing/supervising homework
20 Arranging childcare
21 Arranging applications for primary/secondary school
22 Arranging play dates
23 Taking children to schools
24 Organising birthday parties
25 Buying clothes
26 Organising Christmas
27 Buying family presents/cards
28 Managing hospitals appointments
29 Looking after children at evenings and weekends
30 Search for a nanny to look after the children at evenings and weekends
31 Reading bedtime stories
32 Looking after SICK children
33 Taking time off work to look after SICK children
34 Settling children that wake in the night
35 Organising birthday presents for family members
36 AND MANAGING YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS BULLSHITS

If you are sure in your heart that you as a wife will do all of these and make them your primary responsibility without any assistance or complaints, then no problem.

Unfortunately, you and I both know that after just two weeks of doing these yourself, you will still start complaining all over again.

Nigerian women, na una way...

It's not so much as spoiling them as much as knowing when to draw the line between letting children realise they are individuals as well as growing with an independent can do spirit and not spoiling them by giving In to their every demand.

crackhaus:

That's if you spoil them.

I know you will not agree.

crackhaus:

More power to your 'Ukpa'.

No wonder the subject of taking care of feeding alone wants to make you develop high BP.
How much is your salary?

I'm not talking about myself . . I can handle ALL expenses on my salary and still have the resources to take a cruise around the world if I want to (no joke) . . But why should I? I'm not a single mother na . . what will now be his role as the OGA kpata kpata of the house I need to be able to rub his stomach and say 'honey we need milo and cornflakes, and please also buy shawarma when coming home tomorrow . . '. It gives strength to the love!

And then what about this OP, who is not financially okay, and whose husband can comfortably provide feeding. Why won't he?

I'm very happy to be submissive and remain in my supporting role biko, I am a WOMAN!

crackhaus:

Really?
You must tell me something oo.

If I tell you say I don already cross that bridge before, the next thing you will then say is until I have 4 kids before I will understand.

Aunty, go siddon abeg.

I'll be very surprised if you are married . . You don't need four kids to know the effects, or feel the satisfaction of providing for your family and making your wife smile/glow.

You are still a learner.

Theyoungmatron:
Weekly clean

2 Daily clean

3 Vacuuming

4 Cleaning kitchen/bathroom

5 Heavy duty kitchen cleaning
6 Tidying up

7 Washing clothes

8 Washing bedding

9 Changing sheets

10 Ironing

11 Managing the family budget
12 BEARING THE BRUNT OF CHILD BIRTH/FAMILIY PLANNING AND POTENTIAL INFERTILITY
13 GIVING BIRTH

14 Organizing payment of utility bills

15 Liaising with school/nursery over everyday issues

16 Liaising with school/nursery over trips

17 Being the first person called if there's a problem at school/nursery

18 Packing schoolbags

19 Doing/supervising homework

20 Arranging childcare

21 Arranging applications for primary/secondary school

22 Arranging play dates

23 Taking children to schools

24 Organising birthday parties

25 Buying clothes

26 Organising Christmas

27 Buying family presents/cards

28 Managing hospitals appointments

29 Looking after children at evenings and weekends

30 Search for a nanny to look after the children at evenings and weekends

31 Reading bedtime stories

32 Looking after SICK children

33 Taking time off work to look after SICK children

34 Settling children that wake in the night

35 Organising birthday presents for family members

36 AND MANAGING YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS BULLSHITS

Chop knuckle jor . . .

crackhaus:

If you are sure in your heart that you as a wife will do all of these and make them your primary responsibility without any assistance or complaints, then no problem.

Unfortunately, you and I both know that after just two weeks of doing these yourself, you will still start complaining all over again.

Nigerian women, na una way...

Of course, i do all this without complaining. Did i add that i still go to work to complement my husbands income. Handing off your sole responsibilities of providing for the family and expecting me to shut it is the height of injustice and responsibility.

biGDhAp:
.. lol ..


are this done everyday ,weekly or monthly??

You should get married to find out. Or maybe you should co-habit with married couples since you didn't grow up in a family house.

merahki:


If every spending plan is to the last letter, with little or no cross overs? This is a very good deal for a woman in Nigeria today. On a second thought I wouldn’t mind it for myself if I really liked the man and wanted to get married to him
I had to clarify this.
What would be bad is if I was against contributing financially in a marriage and went ahead with the marriage, only to make myself and partner miserable with my resentment.
If one has a problem with bringing money, they should say it upfront, so there won’t be marriage under false guises and expectations
In other words, settling is dehumanising to everyone involved

Exactly my point . . If you agree to it ab-initio, then it's not really an issue is it?

But the reality is that women are already under great pressure at the home front, something has to give.

Most women are actually willing to do the most they can to support their husbands . . Some women have the GRACE to provide and also be care-givers, I am NOT one of such women. I will not raise my daughters to be either . .

Theyoungmatron:
Weekly clean

2 Daily clean

3 Vacuuming

4 Cleaning kitchen/bathroom

5 Heavy duty kitchen cleaning
6 Tidying up

7 Washing clothes

8 Washing bedding

9 Changing sheets

10 Ironing

11 Managing the family budget
12 BEARING THE BRUNT OF CHILD BIRTH/FAMILIY PLANNING AND POTENTIAL INFERTILITY
13 GIVING BIRTH

14 Organizing payment of utility bills

15 Liaising with school/nursery over everyday issues

16 Liaising with school/nursery over trips

17 Being the first person called if there's a problem at school/nursery

18 Packing schoolbags

19 Doing/supervising homework

20 Arranging childcare

21 Arranging applications for primary/secondary school

22 Arranging play dates

23 Taking children to schools

24 Organising birthday parties

25 Buying clothes

26 Organising Christmas

27 Buying family presents/cards

28 Managing hospitals appointments

29 Looking after children at evenings and weekends

30 Search for a nanny to look after the children at evenings and weekends

31 Reading bedtime stories

32 Looking after SICK children

33 Taking time off work to look after SICK children

34 Settling children that wake in the night

35 Organising birthday presents for family members

36 AND MANAGING YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS BULLSHITS

Preach sister.
Disclaimer note: The list is still incomplete.

Theyoungmatron:
Of course, i do all this without complaining. Did i add that i still go to work to complement my husbands income. Handing off your sole responsibilities of providing for the family and expecting me to shut it is the height of injustice and responsibility.

Exactly! And on top of it all women still contribute to the family's income.

Weaker vessel my foot. Then they will even have the guts to die earlier.

biGDhAp:
.. lol ..


are this done everyday ,weekly or monthly??

What a question! How old are you? You can't see that most of these things MUST be done daily and weekly?
And when I say that only inexperienced boys argue on such threads, they get upset.

UjuJoan2:


Exactly my point . . If you agree to it ab-initio, then it's not really an issue is it?

But the reality is that women are already under great pressure at the home front, something has to give

You would be surprised at the extent people go to, to tie the knot -buying foodstuff and cooking them for boyfriend, giving his friends tasty (food) treats, weekly etc. How will this replete man know this girl is anti spending? She defers totally to him, cajoles him when he fights with his family, thanks him when he sends money home, his oo, etc. He has a little problem, she offers to give him a loan or a dash. He marries her saying, oh a helper finally, then he finds out she does not want to spend her dime at all and cannot stand his family

I have seen a man who married a girl. She was not ready but only agreed because he came with all providing cylinders firing, providing for, and showering treats on her and her family. He was supposedly an investment banker with huge accounts everywhere. After the marriage she discovered that she had to spend the next 5 years using all her salary to zero every month. Providing man had no money and had no degree (the two things he sold to her before she agreed to marry him)

Falsehood everywhere
One day at the clinic a woman came in sick
After clerking I realised that she was physically manifesting stress. And I only asked, nne what’s wrong? The dam broke. How she married a man who does not satisfy her in bed, and never has, does not give her money, who also wanted her to borrow money for their family. The kids had to discontinue schooling for lack of school fees
How she stole his 10K that morning after she saw that sum and a condom in his pocket. How she needed to eat pepper soup(she showed me the money, and I encouraged her to eat pepper soup Her crying made me weak)
When I asked her why she married this man who could not satisfy her in bed and who would not give her money, she could not say much, but I think she also said it was time to do so
I judged her for getting married and staying that unhappy. But I mostly felt like yanking her out of that marriage to her own space, she works and is young and can go it on her own. But no, because marriage

I believe people can pretend and lie to dizzying extents just to get married
Exhausting stuff

You e-sound upfront and honest and that is admirable
You clearly also have money and that ensures some independence and peace of mind. Nice

We've heard superwoman, supermom, strong woman helicopter mom etc
Superdad, superman (only in Hollywood ), helicopter dad etc not so much

She forgot to add nightly bedroom duty to the list

crackhaus:

If you are sure in your heart that you as a wife will do all of these and make them your primary responsibility without any assistance or complaints, then no problem.

Unfortunately, you and I both know that after just two weeks of doing these yourself, you will still start complaining all over again.

Nigerian women, na una way...

Mindfulness:


Preach sister.
Disclaimer note: The list is still incomplete.



Exactly! And on top of it all women still contribute to the family's income.

Weaker vessel my foot. Then they will even have the guts to die earlier.



What a question! How old are you? You can't see that most of these things MUST be done daily and weekly?
And when I say that only inexperienced boys argue on such threads, they get upset.

Their arguments pisses me off.
We have accepted our fate so men should man up to their responsibilities.

Theyoungmatron:
Their arguments pisses me off.
We have accepted our fate so men should man up to their responsibilities.

Do you want them to die at 40?


I love the list you have compiled. Goes to show how much women work and accomplish.

Theyoungmatron:
Of course, i do all this without complaining. Did i add that i still go to work to complement my husbands income. Handing off your sole responsibilities of providing for the family and expecting me to shut it is the height of injustice and responsibility.

You do the 36 without his assistance whatsoever? This is what you and your friends want us to believe on this thread?

Okay then.

So which of you is married to the men who are hands-on in the home?
Because anytime such topic comes up, it's usually these same group of ladies that be talking about how their husbands are hands-on with everything.

Different day, different stories.

armyofone:
We've heard superwoman, supermom, strong woman helicopter mom etc
Superdad, superman (only in Hollywood ), helicopter dad etc not so much

She forgot to add nightly bedroom duty to the list

Ahh you too?

So all of you are all married to the typical African man that doesn't assist with any of those 36 things she listed.

I will be here when another topic comes up. If I see you talking about being married to a 'progressive' man who is hands-on, I will call you out.

merahki:


You would be surprised at the extent people go to, to tie the knot -buying foodstuff and cooking them for boyfriend, giving his friends tasty (food) treats, weekly etc. How will this replete man know this girl is anti spending? She defers totally to him, cajoles him when he fights with his family, thanks him when he sends money home, his oo, etc. He has a little problem, she offers to give him a loan or a dash. He marries her saying, oh a helper finally, then he finds out she does not want to spend her dime at all and cannot stand his family

I have seen a man who married a girl. She was not ready but only agreed because he came with all providing cylinders firing, providing for, and showering treats on her and her family. He was supposedly an investment banker with huge accounts everywhere. After the marriage she discovered that she had to spend the next 5 years using all her salary to zero every month. Providing man had no money and had no degree (the two things he sold to her before she agreed to marry him)

Falsehood everywhere
One day at the clinic a woman came in sick
After clerking I realised that she was physically manifesting stress. And I only asked, nne what’s wrong? The dam broke. How she married a man who does not satisfy her in bed, and never has, does not give her money, who also wanted her to borrow money for their family. The kids had to discontinue schooling for lack of school fees
How she stole his 10K that morning after she saw that sum and a condom in his pocket. How she needed to eat pepper soup(she showed me the money, and I encouraged her to eat pepper soup Her crying made me weak)
When I asked her why she married this man who could not satisfy her in bed and who would not give her money, she could not say much, but I think she also said it was time to do so
I judged her for getting married and staying that unhappy. But I mostly felt like yanking her out of that marriage to her own space, she works and is young and can go it on her own. But no, because marriage

I believe people can pretend and lie to dizzying extents just to get married
Exhausting stuff

You e-sound upfront and honest and that is admirable
You clearly also have money and that ensures some independence and peace of mind. Nice

That's why men need to come to the realization that money matters to women, that way nobody cab deceive them.

It's just like a man telling me 'I love you for you, not your body . . . ', when clearly the bottom line for most men is SEX! Even the ones that marry virgins want them to be experts in the bedroom . . .

Same way a woman marrying a man under that guise of 'I don't need your money' is lying through her teeth. She may not need your money now, but any man should know that when the kids start coming his money will come in handy.

Women stay in marriages for all the wrong reasons, that's why I encourage women to be financially independent. Money gives voice. You cannot be dishing out orders and having high expectations, and then come to demand for money for sanitary pads the next moment. Life is a bargain, you need to at least have some cards to play with

I learnt it from my father,and I plan to pass it on to my daughters, God willing!

UjuJoan2:


I'll be very surprised if you are married . . You don't need four kids to know the effects, or feel the satisfaction of providing for your family and making your wife smile/glow.

You are still a learner.

Lmao...
You're just trying too hard to shut me up.

What is it about providing or making a woman smile/glow do you think I don't already know about?
I should submit my résumé abi?

Aunty go siddon abeg.

UjuJoan2:


I'm not talking about myself . . [s]I can handle ALL expenses on my salary and still have the resources to take a cruise around the world if I want to (no joke) . .[/s] But why should I? I'm not a single mother na . . what will now be his role as the OGA kpata kpata of the house I need to be able to rub his stomach and say 'honey we need milo and cornflakes, and please also buy shawarma when coming home tomorrow . . '. It gives strength to the love!

And then what about this OP, who is not financially okay, and whose husband can comfortably provide feeding. Why won't he?

I'm very happy to be submissive and remain in my supporting role biko, I am a WOMAN!

If you had just said this at the beginning, there would have been no need for this teté a teté.
I like that you recognize your husband's undisputed authority over you.

I struck that bit out for the exaggeration. Even ogas for Chevron no dey talk like that.

Gloriagee:
It's not so much as spoiling them as much as knowing when to draw the line between letting children realise they are individuals as well as growing with an independent can do spirit and not spoiling them by giving In to their every demand.

That was my point.

crackhaus:

If you had just said this at the beginning, there would have been no need for this teté a teté.
I like that you recognize your husband's undisputed authority over you.

I struck that bit out for the exaggeration. Even ogas for Chevron no dey talk like that.

okay maybe I did exaggerate a bit . ..

That is why men should work hard and make money.

You cannot be wanting submission when you are unable to feed your family.

Even God will be upset with such an unrealistic expectation.

crackhaus:

Lmao...
You're just trying too hard to shut me up.

What is it about providing or making a woman smile/glow do you think I don't already know about?
I should submit my résumé abi?

Aunty go siddon abeg.

You sound like my elder brother, who is busy baby-boy'ing in lekki, and yet will not accept that a bachelor like him knows nothing about life, and women

UjuJoan2:


That's why men need to come to the realization that money matters to women, that way nobody cab deceive them.

It's just like a man telling me 'I love you for you, not your body . . . ', when clearly the bottom line for most men is SEX! Even the ones that marry virgins want them to be experts in the bedroom . . .

Same way a woman marrying a man under that guise of 'I don't need your money' is lying through her teeth. She may not need your money now, but any man should know that when the kids start coming his money will come in handy.

Women stay in marriages for all the wrong reasons, that's why I encourage women to be financially independent. Money gives voice. You cannot be dishing out orders and having high expectations, and then come to demand for money for sanitary pads the next moment. Life is a bargain, you need to at least have some cards to play with

I learnt it from my father,and I plan to pass it on to my daughters, God willing!

Wow, this is the first time you will be so honest & realistic with the situation of things. On this one, we agree 100%.
It is the reason why I have always been a resounding voice against the pseudo-feminists littered all over this forum.

Everything I put in bold there, believe me, most Gs already know. Na women dey deceive themselves.
It's the reason why we have never taken Nigerian women who preach equality serious cos we know wetin dey happen behind the scenes.

Yesterday, a lady here was trying to prove to herself (definitely not me) that money can't buy her submission. If only she knew how much I laughed as I read that statement. She never see money be that, is all I could say to myself.

One is on my WhatsApp uploading multiple status everyday having something to say about men this, men that, society this, society that, misogynist this, misogynist that, yet money is her love language.
Give her money and she will dance. Abeg ee.

Uju, we agree on something finally.

crackhaus:

Wow, this is the first time you will be so honest & realistic with the situation of things. On this one, we agree 100%.
It is the reason why I have always been a resounding voice against the pseudo-feminists littered all over this forum.

Everything I put in bold there, believe me, most Gs already know. Na women dey deceive themselves.
It's the reason why we have never taken Nigerian women who preach equality serious cos we know wetin dey happen behind the scenes.

Yesterday, a lady here was trying to prove to herself (definitely not me) that money can't buy her submission. If only she knew how much I laughed as I read that statement. She never see money be that, is all I could say to myself.

One is on my WhatsApp uploading multiple status everyday having something to say about men this, men that, society this, society that, misogynist this, misogynist that, yet money is her love language.
Give her money and she will dance. Abeg ee.

Uju, we agree on something finally.

Aha . .. Now hell will freeze over!

UjuJoan2:


You sound like my elder brother, who is busy baby-boy'ing in lekki, and yet will not accept that a bachelor like him knows nothing about life, and women

Your elder bro must be a real G.

Is it not better he remains a bachelor and still get to enjoy everything that comes with marriage without signing any paper?