Duggedised12:
First , thank you nairaland for providing an avenue for me to bare my mind.

I wish I could write a sign board in from of my house that says "husband wanted appli within" without not getting judged since the pressure of marriage has become too much to bear.

I wish those who see me and make remarks like "when is she settling down sef?" Will not lump me among the "choosy spinster" not knowing I wasted a good number of years in a long term relationship with promise of marriage only to be disappointed at the end.

I wish I could put "single and searching " on.social media and not have married men looking for free cookie wanting to cash in assuming I am desperate and play boys playing the part of serious bachelor just to get free cookie.

Maybe its a curse cos I heard late marriage runs in some families, maybe I am just unlucky ,maybe its something I am not doing right ,maybe just maybe .

I wish I could ask a guy out and he will take me serious and no think I brought him my cookie for free.

Dem say boyfriend full everywhere na husband scarce ,but thats because one guy can be dating 5 ladies with all the ladies thinking they have a boyfriend until he decides to settle down.

Cc lalasticlala

Blackmiserable:


Believe me, having a husband is good, very good, after all, God created woman for companionship and procreation but NOT having one is not the end of the world. Neither is a man for a woman. I for take you sha but I'm already taken. One, no two Taraba woman sha!

Put your pics here for any potential suitor here.Your rantings is justified but let folks see yo

Duggedised12:
thanks, but the pics own go hard o. Just don't feel comfortable.Thanks all the same.

Blackmiserable:


There's no means for anonymous folks who have never seen you to size you up - I mean, on the INTERNET, maybe, just maybe, you want to write a very vivid description with a link to one of your social media account (after all, many people dey see your face since 1900 so wtf), if you're really serious. If you can't do both, do one. I have actually wooed a woman I stumbled on Reddit just because she admitted to being a virgin, so you never know, people are just different.

Even though females should be the object of desire, there's certainly and absolutely nothing wrong in pursuing men for marriage. God made marriage for you so if the mountain wouldn't come to Muhammad; Muhammad can go to the mountain. If I have wares like Chicken for sale, it is in my best interest to put out "Chicken is sold here" signpost.

You want a husband and he's not forthcoming; you can make that clear especially through means like the web and this Nigerian forum where we have Nigerians from all nooks and cranny, without sounding weird. Believe me dear sister even if you're as ugly as shit, there's a man for you. You may want to say: "If you want sex or any type of intimacy (before the relationship gains any momentum) before we get married then I am not for you; I am not going to give my body until we're married."

Men want to be attracted to their spouse and beauty, as you know, is relative. Let's see your pics and share your email address, too, your husband is around the corner. But on a serious note, why are you still unmarried? Are you that ugly? Aren't there unmarried bachelors in your church? Do you go to church? Are you hot tempered or... because there's hardly any woman who doesn't get wooed on a regular basis. Even if it's so bad, at least once a month or two. Are you saying all your suitors just want your body and aren't really interested in marriage? Maybe you want to change location or city.

If you are beautiful, I CAN GET YOU A SPOUSE ON REDDIT WHO WOULD FLY ALL THE WAY FROM OBODO OYIBO FOR MARRIAGE. WHY? THE DATING SUBREDDITS THERE ARE HEAVILY SKEWED, ALTHOUGH MANY JUST WANT A FLING, YOU'D STILL SEE THAT MANY WHITE GUYS THERE THAT WOULD RUSH YOU LIKE INDOMIE.

Remember your servant! God don butter your bread I swear!

truthsayer009:
@Duggedised12:

Okay talk time. So guess what? Do you know If you actually want a Husband, you can get it in a Month, Yes I said in a month. Let's put Money aside honestly, the same friends which you envy & look at getting married every weekend are picking guys that you wouldn't even think fit into your criteria of what a Man should be.

I've discovered every lady crying Wolf about marriage isn't crying because there are no Men approaching them, but they need a certain kind of Man, Not that I'm against that ideology but don't cry when you know you've set standards for yourself & some people have not met such standard.
Some people get lucky & they find Men who meet the standards in short time, some don't.

Miss A's Destiny is different from Miss B.

I would advise that you stay put & keep your trust in God, I want to believe you have other things going for you like Career, activities etc

Duggedised12:
you have spoken well, I am not ugly lol ,just introverted and i have come to realize to be noticed and get wooed ,you have to show up ,my neigbours barely even see me . I am not the church freak ,I barely go to church (dont want to go into the.reason for that here) but then meeting someone in church is not what I am keen on as "we are all saints dresses in our best attires on Sundays' .


Thanks for your input, it is highly appreciated.

Blackmiserable:


Haha, I think I have to agree, "We are all devils dressed in our best attires on Sundays." Your Introversion could be your main hindrance! Move out, tour places, go to church, social gathering, stop feeling too entitled. You just said you want a husband but you didn't really describe yourself, what you want in a spouse, and maybe a link to one of your social media accounts. You may even use a throwaway social media account BUT with a real profile pics. Why in the world do you think anyone would take you serious without a vivid description of who you are? Mind you, people (men) still woo women online so stop taking your effort for granted. Please stop!

I sent this screenshot to encourage you and prove my point and she's not even the only person I sent this message to. Meeting one's spouse through the internet works.

See this link.

https://old.reddit.com/r/r4r/

Duggedised12:
The same way we are not born equal and are not born with equal opportunities, some people are just unlucky when it comes to relationships and not about standards. Sometimes things happen for no fault of ours and not.because of our own doing.

truthsayer009:


This is a big lie Sis. Men have been coming your way, you obviously don't like them as they don't fit to what you want. If you want to get married in 3 months, you can.

Stop lying to yourself. Do you want to tell me not up to 5 Men approached you in 2019?

Duggedised12:
because men have been coming my way doesn't mean I should settle down with a brick layer or bus conductor, one way or the other ,we as humans set standard for ourselves, its all part of life .while to some it might not be the jeep and PJ and house in lekki type ,no one wants to have to worry that the landlord will throw them out soon or see their children at home because no school fees.

I am not desperate to accept just anyone ,this is clearly a rant from the tittle, so take note. The last thing I will do is to "manage a marriage" . yes marriage has its ups and downs but some marriages don't get to experience the turmoils other couples experience .

And I don't have to convince you ,your opinion is yours and yours alone and dont you think 3 months is too far? Why not 3 days?

truthsayer009:


Sis. Literally saying, a Conductor or Bricklayer would not walk up to you to ask for your number. Men gauge ladies before walking up to them, even some Men fear to approach women who drive nice cars thinking they are above their league, no one wants to get rejected.

You already said It in your post that you have people chatting you up but not like your Ex used to. The truth that you Women don't know is the kind of Guy you seek for already belongs to someone else.

Women judge Men by so many stupid Criteria, only to start dropping them over the years. Some get lucky with those stupid criteria, meet someone exactly or close & then make it a standard for other Women.

Your case is not new Sis, Truth is hard to accept.

Duggedised12:
Atleast you know its not about material things ,you call it standard or criteria and I call it compactibily.

compatibility is a serious thing that should not be compromised,I am for the "we die here marriage". So there is no point trying to accept and settle because time is running out. Now every human behaves similar, we eat,we bathe, but we all dont react the same way, have same opinion and relate the same way.

I am guessing by the bolded statement you mean the good guys are already taken so I should settle? Well, thanks for the advice ,I dont have to take it,thanks all the same.

truthsayer009:


What I mean is If a Good guy comes your way, would you even recognize him? because Men of Gold don't wear Gold really.

If you talk about compatibility, It now means you need to spend quality time with each person to even know If they are compatible or not. It's not something you can fathom in a one week of chat of Whatsapp.

I still reckon that you are making excuses for nothing, when you truly want a Man. You know where to get him.

truthsayer009:
@Duggedised12:

Okay talk time. So guess what? Do you know If you actually want a Husband, you can get it in a Month, Yes I said in a month. Let's put Money aside honestly, the same friends which you envy & look at getting married every weekend are picking guys that you wouldn't even think fit into your criteria of what a Man should be.

I've discovered every lady crying Wolf about marriage isn't crying because there are no Men approaching them, but they need a certain kind of Man, Not that I'm against that ideology but don't cry when you know you've set standards for yourself & some people have not met such standard.
Some people get lucky & they find Men who meet the standards in short time, some don't.

Miss A's Destiny is different from Miss B.

I would advise that you stay put & keep your trust in God, I want to believe you have other things going for you like Career, activities etc

Duggedised12:
can you point me in the right direction on where to get him ,add an address while at it thanks lol.

This is not a movie of a frog turning into a prince ,neither is this the secret billoniare reality show, and men of gold don't literally wear gold they wear tuxedos lol. Just saying

truthsayer009:


Well, good people move in groups, If you want I can link you up with friend(s) of mine who obviously will not be different in thought & lifestyle from me. Issue is there is a high probability you will complain of one thing or the other.

Same reason people complain they can't find good women in Nigeria, Ehn they are all Oloshos, Gold diggers etc. Look closely, you'll see one quiet good girl who has all the qualities they need seeking for attention, but No they're there looking for the Media validation of what beauty should be & keep ranting on Nairaland that they're no good women in Nigeria.

Duggedised12:
lol, well my rant is different , in no way am I insinuating that men are scum or something, I just feel unlucky and decided to use this platform to express it. Part 3 is still coming sef ,lol

truthsayer009:


Sis. abeg just leave am like this Biko. don't drop any part 3. Let us rest