calgaryFriend:

If the bolded is true, and the husband currently drops 5k as housekeep (For someone that does not contribute anything to the home, the OP sounds like an ingrate), is a car the next thing ?
I said earlier, a masters degree is not as expensive as a car. So saying the husband wants to use the money for a car to do masters does not make sense.

Why are you closing your eye to that inconsistency in the OPs narrative.

How can someone work and earn money and he says he wants to use part of it to develop himself and the wife will insist that he must buy a car ?

If they have money for a car, then the husband can use some to do masters and the left over will be can still be used to do some other things.

Lastly how does buying a car improve the condition of the home for a wife that does not go any where but works from home?

Cant you see the OP is not entirely truthful ?

yes. I don’t see any reason in having a car now. But masters must wait until the home front is settled. That is what we do for family.

calgaryFriend:

My responses are these :
1. The family should not be thinking of a car yet, they have too little income to purchase a car.
2. How sure are you that the husband agreed with her in the first place, have you heard from the husband ?
3. What does someone that spends all her life at home sewing need a car for ? She nor dey go work na, so why does she need a car ?

4.Lastly if the OP husband was your brother, would you advise him to get a car in his situation ?

1. Depends on where and how they live. We don't know their income yet.
2. The OP seems sincere enough. The story is not rosy and she is not hiding her feelings.
3. Only she can answer that

4. What would be the duty of his wife that I would actively advise him? Even if I would suggest anything different from him, the caveat would be discuss and agree with your wife

bukatyne:


1. Depends on where and how they live. We don't know their income yet.
2. The OP seems sincere enough. The story is not rosy and she is not hiding her feelings.
3. Only she can answer that

4. What would be the duty of his wife that I would actively advise him? Even if I would suggest anything different from him, the caveat would be discuss and agree with your wife

We do, the OP said they struggled to furnish the home and only the husband is working , she for now is not bringing in any money.
So from this we can deduce that the income in that home monthly is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay less than 100k.

And the husband is smart enough considering this income level to know that the car is not the next thing.

Now my issue with the OP is this, she said the husband wants to use the money for car to do masters, its not possible, masters is just 100k per year or less. So why is she angry, not that the man wants to do masters, her real anger is stemming from the fact that the man has refused to buy a car.

This my analysis is clear enough , stop being bias and agree with me. It cant get any clearer than this.

calgaryFriend:

If the bolded is true, and the husband currently drops 5k as housekeep (For someone that does not contribute anything to the home, the OP sounds like an ingrate), is a car the next thing ?
I said earlier, a masters degree is not as expensive as a car. So saying the husband wants to use the money for a car to do masters does not make sense.

Why are you closing your eye to that inconsistency in the OPs narrative.

How can someone work and earn money and he says he wants to use part of it to develop himself and the wife will insist that he must buy a car ?

If they have money for a car, then the husband can use some to do masters and the left over will be can still be used to do some other things.

Lastly how does buying a car improve the condition of the home for a wife that does not go any where but works from home?

Cant you see the OP is not entirely truthful ?

mr man, you really have problems with reading and comprehension.
She said the 5k is barely enough and she adds to what he gives to her to make up for the week. ( this is someone who isn’t working yet)

Seriously, just don’t rush to bash someone online for expressing their grief , you are 32 aren’t you?

zeb04:
mr man, you really have problems with reading and comprehension.
She said the 5k is barely enough and she adds to what he gives to her to make up for the week.

Seriously, just don’t rush to bash someone online for expressing their grief , you are 32 aren’t you?

Why you con carry another person matter for head like this ? Is this the way you mislead your husband too ? I am assuming you are married, are yOu ?

calgaryFriend:

Why you con carry another person matter for head like this ? Is this the way you mislead your husband too ? I am assuming you are married, are yOu ?

yes I am married. But we are a team.

zeb04:
mr man, you really have problems with reading and comprehension.
She said the 5k is barely enough and she adds to what he gives to her to make up for the week.

Seriously, just don’t rush to bash someone online for expressing their grief , you are 32 aren’t you?

Let us look at this holistically.

A wife and her husband spending 5k for feeding in a week?
Damn!

And she said it's not enough.
Unless there are other things apart from feeding.
Hmm.
That means, when kids come, it will be more than 10k a week.
There is God o

I have long observed here that sometimes stories are exaggerated. It takes insight to put bits together so as not to be biased.

calgaryFriend:
This is the reason a man should never allow the wife know how much money he has, she will plan to blow all the money without foresight......... Men reading this I hope we are learning ?

From this tread?

Woaw!

nwanneni:

It is not the best thing to do but isn't such a big deal in this case.
now this is the reason why it happened like that.
The husband of the lady makes all the money himself and is at crossroads here.
Does he buy a liability or procure an asset?
Now going with womanly advise or opinion(especially the ones that don't make any money) can be catastrophic here.she would want that car of course so she can pose to her unmarried friends hence discourage every idea of the husband procuring his education instead!
That is what I feel happened.

Your sense of reasoning is totally indescribable. Men don't carry babies that is why somebody like you will tell a pregnant woman and soon to be mother that a car is not a necessity. You prefer her hopping okada and keke with a baby tied to her back instead of getting a car to ease the stress. I barf on your behalf.

Atlast a voice of reason, please in case you are single please let me know Cos I am looking for wife o.

Please let us read this post 2 times and tell me if this is not clear enough ?
A man is giving his wife 20k a month to cook food for just 2 people and this OP says it is not enough, how many of you people arguing here collect as much as that from your husbands ?

sassysure:


Let us look at this holistically.

A wife and her husband spending 5k for feeding in a week?
Damn!

And she said it's not enough.
Unless there are other things apart from feeding.
Hmm.
That means, when kids come, it will be more than 10k a week.
There is God o

I have long observed here that sometimes stories are exaggerated. It takes insight to put bits together so as not to be biased.

Theyoungmatron:
You sense of reasoning in totally indescribable. Men don't carry babies that is why somebody like you will tell a pregnant woman and soon to be mother that a car is not necessity. You prefer her hopping okada and keke with a baby tied to her back instead of getting a car to ease the stress. I barf on your behalf.

Are you saying all the pregnant women in Nigeria have the luxury of a car ? If they do not, did anything happen to those children ?
Even here in North America pregnant nursing mothers use the transit , being pregnant is not a reason to buy a car. The poster does not even go out, she is home all day did you not read that part ?

sassysure:


Let us look at this holistically.

A wife and her husband spending 5k for feeding in a week?
Damn!

And she said it's not enough.
Unless there are other things apart from feeding.
Hmm.
That means, when kids come, it will be more than 10k a week.
There is God o

I have long observed here that sometimes stories are exaggerated. It takes insight to put bits together so as not to be biased.

. 5k for rice, tomatoes,yam, tissue, bathing soap, milk , detergent, ,meat,soup, chicken, red oil and so on.

Madam, I don’t know where you live oh, but Things are pretty expensive.

Theyoungmatron:
You sense of reasoning in totally indescribable. Men don't carry babies that is why somebody like you will tell a pregnant woman and soon to be mother that a car is not necessity. You prefer her hopping okada and keke with a baby tied to her back instead of getting a car to ease the stress. I barf on your behalf.

call me whatever you like...I don't mind.
Like say you will leave shaping up your business or preping up yourself for a bigger tomorrow to buy a car for a lady because she is pregnant.
I am just saying what I will do if I were in their shoes.not like I will let my woman fly okada or so.
I have cars that really don't do much already. I wouldn't even get married if I am not fully prepared for it.

sassysure:


Let us look at this holistically.

A wife and her husband spending 5k for feeding in a week?
Damn!

And she said it's not enough.
Unless there are other things apart from feeding.
Hmm.
That means, when kids come, it will be more than 10k a week.
There is God o

I have long observed here that sometimes stories are exaggerated. It takes insight to put bits together so as not to be biased.

5K a week is for lower lower middle class in a low income cities. They can only survive on this if they have every foodstuffs and the 5k is for one pot of soup and one pot of stew for a week.
She has to add or else they will starve. 5k is too poor to feed a full-grown adult with an equally full-grown pregnant wife. What about the cravings....

Theyoungmatron:
5K a week is for lower lower middle class in a low income cities. They can only survive on this if they have every foodstuffs and the 5k is for one pot of soup and one pot of stew for a week.
She has to add or else they will starve. 5k is too poor to feed a full-grown adult with an equally full-grown pregnant wife. What about the cravings....

How many house wives get 20k a month for feeding from their husbands in Nigeria ?
This is sounding very ridiculous now, for 2 people 20k to feed is not enough ? You want the man to go and steal ? What is wrong with you people ?You want to eat your future away now ?

For a man that earns less than 100k a month and the wife does not work you say 20k on feeding is not enough a month, no wonder we have all these poor people roaming around.

So how much would be enough ? They should be spending half of the monthly salary on feeding , just 2 people ?

Are they not going to pay rent ?

Why do women reason like this ? It is sooooooooo unfortunate.

nwanneni:
call me whatever you like...I don't mind.
Like say you will leave shaping up your business or preping up yourself for a bigger tomorrow to buy a car for a lady because she is pregnant.
I am just saying what I will do if I were in their shoes.not like I will let my woman fly okada or so.
I have cars that really don't do much already. I wouldn't even get married if I am not fully prepared for it.

Funny how you refer to her as a lady not his wife A lady he wedded who is carrying his child. As if the Nigerian horseband will allow her to even drive the car to begin with. Continue doing yaself, you think say you dey do me. Las las, na one bottle of hot drink the pikin go dey give you at every visit after the mother don download the story of their birth to them.
Save that money wella cos na your retirement be that.

calgaryFriend:


How many house wives get 20k a month for feeding from their husbands in Nigeria ?
This is sounding very ridiculous now, for 2 people 20k to feed is not enough ? You want the man to go and steal ? What is wrong with you people ?You want to eat your future away now ?

For a man that earns less than 100k a month and the wife does not work you say 20k on feeding is not enough a month, no wonder we have all these poor people roaming around.

So how much would be enough ? They should be spending half of the monthly salary on feeding , just 2 people ?

Are they not going to pay rent ?

Why do women reason like this ? It is sooooooooo unfortunate.

Oga i am not your typical Nigerian with poverty ridden mentality. Even coppers with their 19850 allawee no get savings, just feeding themselves and they are crying all over the place, talk more of a full grown adults with a baby en-tow. Baba, if 20k is the monthly allawee for the house, please keep it and manage it yaself.
Thanks.

Theyoungmatron:
Funny how you refer to her as a lady not his wife A lady he wedded who is carrying his child. As if the Nigerian horseband will allow her to even drive the car to begin with. Continue doing yaself, you think say you dey do me. Las las, na one bottle of hot drink the pikin go dey give you at every visit after the mother don download the story of their birth to them.
Save that money wella cos na your retirement be that.

if you know me well you go know say I no dey build future around any child!
Very volatile scenario.
N.a. una sabi.all of you know the truth but una no want gree.
The husband no get car refuse say make madam no use.just a problem. Of preference.
Shebi una be feminist now.make madam make herself comfortable as much as she wants now
I no go suffer my woman at all.i cannot have something and deprive her of it.
But in this case,a guy's gotta chose you know.
Pikin weh go grow know say mama say papa must buy car instead of building himself and supports mama is a confirm ote!
Abi make den buy car now and later no fit train pikin for school
N.a. wah o

Theyoungmatron:
Oga i am not your typical Nigerian with poverty ridden mentality. Even coppers with their 19850 allawee no get savings, just feeding themselves and they are crying all over the place, talk more of a full grown adults with a baby en-tow. Baba, if 20k is the monthly allawee for the house, please keep it and manage it yaself.
Thanks.

lol.if the woman no want manage the 20k make she use her own money na
Abi e no know the man level b4 e marry am
Or na dangote pikin or she get her own money?
She married her level and should manage accordingly.
Abi make d man dey spend like otedola wen e b hustler?
Hian nothing man no go hear

Theyoungmatron:
Oga i am not your typical Nigerian with poverty ridden mentality. Even coppers with their 19850 allawee no get savings, just feeding themselves and they are crying all over the place, talk more of a full grown adults with a baby en-tow. Baba, if 20k is the monthly allawee for the house, please keep it and manage it yaself.
Thanks.

The irony of it all, all these women telling the poster that 20k monthly feeding allowance is not enough may probably not be getting a kobo from their husbands o.

And the OP too will go and luck her husband that he is not doing enough.

zeb04:
. 5k for rice, tomatoes,yam, tissue, bathing soap, milk , detergent, ,meat,soup, chicken, red oil and so on.

Madam, I don’t know where you live oh, but as a mother and partner to someone who likes to only eat designer food, it is not enough.

Zeb04, haba
There is God o.
U guys will not kill me

Which one is designer food biko?

The truth is that unless that money of sets some other small small bills, it's more than enough for 2 people.
Do they have drums in their stomach.

For a struggling family?
If 5k isn't enough for weekly feeding, then I wonder the type of car she has in mind.

I'm not against buying a car o. It's necessary because of the kid but education comes first here. And if all she does like church, market etc is close by. Why the car mow they are still struggling?.
U know, we ladies wanna flex small.
If my friends and neighbours have it, why not me. The temptation is too much so i understand.

Education is an asset, darling .
That car is a liability. Assuming it's a biz car, I will be the first to throw stone at the husband.

I'm actually against both of them for their extravagant wedding.
The 2 are very materialistic.
U can't tell me that the husband borrowed half a million for wedding and she join in planing the wedding without knowing where the money sprang from or did the man lie to her?
Her annoyance is that while she suffered to sew her wedding gown, the man did a fast one by buying a suit of 100k.
Now, he has done a fast one on her again by going for what he want even though it will benefit them tomorrow.

So she is the one who has to forfeit what she want for the man.

This is her anger and it's justifiable too.

It wouldn't have been a case if he discuss it with her.
But he made her look and feel insignificant.
Then again, the story is one sided.
The man might have a different story to tell

calgaryFriend:


Are you saying all the pregnant women in Nigeria have the luxury of a car ? If they do not, did anything happen to those children ?
Even here in North America pregnant nursing mothers use the transit , being pregnant is not a reason to buy a car. The poster does not even go out, she is home all day did you not read that part ?

Calgary friend, the lady is a fashion designer not your typical housewife and the post you quoted was meant for the fellow specifically. He has issues with men taking care of their wives or rather issues with wives asking for favours from their horsebands. Thank you.

Meanwhile, I have issues with the feeding aspect and it seems as if you are accustomed to Nigerian feto-maternal mortality rates indices and their various causes/predisposing factors especially poor nutritional intake, please do well to find out.
The inherent maternal and fetal morbidity caused by poor nutritional intake during pregnancy in Nigeria is alarming. Is it the anaemia, preterm birth, neurological deficits in babies like neural tube defects and micro-nutrients deficiencies? This is coupled with the environmental risks factors pregnant women are exposed to.

Theyoungmatron:
5K a week is for lower lower middle class in a low income cities. They can only survive on this if they have every foodstuffs and the 5k is for one pot of soup and one pot of stew for a week.
She has to add or else they will starve. 5k is too poor to feed a full-grown adult with an equally full-grown pregnant wife. What about the cravings....

So if u want to eat rice, u cook one cup, tomorrow, if u want to prepare soup, u prepare for one serving only?
Anybody who don't buy thing in stock is a bad home keeper.
How do u do that.usave from what was giving you. From there, u buy half bag of rice, garri, beans, oil etc.
Sometimes, u take out of non feeding money to stock your house and keep build back from what is giving to u.

No wonder some homes are on fire.

We can break it down.
If your husband earns 100k in a month( average middle income earning) and gives u20k for feeding in a month and u said it's not enough, your husband will die before age 50.
Add extended family, house rent, utility, transport,miscellaneous and sickness, then savings. Nothing to save again anyway.

U guys should take it easy o
There is God o

nwanneni:
if you know me well you go know say I no dey build future around any child!
Very volatile scenario.
N.a. una sabi.all of you know the truth but una no want gree.
The husband no get car refuse say make madam no use.just a problem. Of preference.
Shebi una be feminist now.make madam make herself comfortable as much as she wants now
I no go suffer my woman at all.i cannot have something and deprive her of it.
But in this case,a guy's gotta chose you know.
Pikin weh go grow know say mama say papa must buy car instead of building himself and supports mama is a confirm ote!
Abi make den buy car now and later no fit train pikin for school
N.a. wah o

Wetin concern me. Mama go still download your tori for pikin if you treat mama like that and na only kaikai bayelsa dey go dey buy for you not even Jack Daniels or Johnny Walker.

Theyoungmatron:
Calgary friend, the lady is a fashion designer not your typical housewife and the post you quoted was meant for the fellow specifically. He has issues with men taking care of their wives or rather issues with wives asking for favours from their horsebands. Thank you.

Meanwhile, I have issues with the feeding aspect and it seems as if you are not be accustomed to Nigerian feto-maternal mortality rates indices and their various causes/predisposing factors especially the poor nutritional intake, please do well and find out.
The inherent maternal and fetal morbidity caused by poor nutritional intake during pregnancy in Nigeria as well as in other poor third world countries is alarming. Is it the anaemia, preterm birth, neurological deficits in babies like neural tube defects and micro-nutrients deficiencies? This is coupled with the environmental risks factors pregnant women are exposed to.

So based on all this scary things you typed here, therefore how much do you think the man should be dropping in a month ?
For your information an entry level graduate in most states in Nigeria earns less than 50k.

So for a family where the husband is an entry level government worker earning 50k how much do you think he should drop for feeding ?

Please lets be realistic here, 20k for feeding is just too much sef, except they dont plan on building there own house, then let them continue blowing there salary on food.

sassysure:


So if u want to eat rice, u cook one cup, tomorrow, if u want to prepare soup, u prepare for one serving only?
Anybody who don't buy thing in stock is a bad home keeper.
How do u do that.usave from what was giving you. From there, u buy half bag of rice, garri, beans, oil etc.
Sometimes, u take out of non feeding money to stock your house and keep build back from what is giving to u.

No wonder some homes are on fire.

We can break it down.
If your husband earns 100k in a month( average middle income earning) and gives u20k for feeding in a month and u said it's not enough, your husband will die before age 50.
Add extended family, house rent, utility, transport,miscellaneous and sickness, then savings. Nothing to save again anyway.

U guys should take it easy o
There is God o

The feeding money is 20k right for one month? A horseband and wife with a baby on the way.
Break it down on how they will spend it on food. Give me a feeding plan for one week for this couple all things being equal using 5k per week.

Theyoungmatron:
Oga i am not your typical Nigerian with poverty ridden mentality. Even coppers with their 19850 allawee no get savings, just feeding themselves and they are crying all over the place, talk more of a full grown adults with a baby en-tow. Baba, if 20k is the monthly allawee for the house, please keep it and manage it yaself.
Thanks.

Seriously

Do u know that some people here have passed that stage and talking from experience?
So it's poor people that will manage 20k a month?
Okokobioko

This forum is beau

calgaryFriend:

So based on all this scary things you typed here, therefore how much do you think the man should be dropping in a month ?
For your information an entry level graduate in most states in Nigeria earns less than 50k.

So for a family where the husband is an entry level government worker earning 50k how much do you think he should drop for feeding ?

Please lets be realistic here, 20k for feeding is just too much sef, except they dont plan on building there own house, then let them continue blowing there salary on food.

This is what i wrote for the lady above. Help plan this 5k per week stuff let see how feasible it is. The feeding money is 20k right for one month? A horseband and wife with a baby on the way.
Break it down on how they will spend it on food. Give me a feeding plan for one week for this couple all things being equal using 5k per week.

sassysure:

Seriously

Do u know that some people here have passed that stage and talking from experience?
So it's poor people that will manage 20k a month?
Okokobioko

This forum is beau

Do kindly be objective here by running the scale on how the money can be spent. Stop trying to whip up sentiments, ma'am.

How much is the soup money? even if it is one soup in a week?
Breakfast for the seven days.

Come on guys bring it on please.

Even if they are buying foodstuffs in bulk, half bag of rice is already 7.5k, yam, beans, oil both vegetable oils, a month provisions nko, abi na aboki tea dem go dey drink .... how much go remain.

Theyoungmatron:
Do kindly be objective here by running the scale on how the money can be spent. Stop trying to whip up sentiments, ma'am.

How much is the soup money? even if it is one soup in a week?
Breakfast for the seven days.

Come on guys bring it on please.

Even if they are buying foodstuffs in bulk, half bag of rice is already 7.5k, yam, beans, oil both vegetable oils, a month provisions nko, abi na aboki tea dem go dey drink .... how much go remain.

What should people earning 50k per month do ? Steal ?
Money will never be enough, the onus is on a good wife to be grateful and manage what the husband is able to give her.

Not become an ingrate like the OP is doing.

People are roaming around without job and someone is saying 20k permonth for food for 2 poeple is not enough, that is someones monthly salary you are blowing away.

Be grateful OP, your husband is a hero, dont allow strangers make you belittle your husband, I pray it will not be too late for you to learn.

If you use your attitude to push him away, there are useless slay mamas that will cook correct soup for him with 10k per month and still give him snake in the monkey shadow style in bed fa. .........

Truth is, 20k a month should be enough for 2 but not with the arrival of a new born.

As soon as I get feeding money I remove 7k for diapers, 7k for baby food. And she finishes two things in one week (that is 7x4weeks) baby wipes, 1k Baby soap is 2k. That is almost half the money.

Calculating it is even giving me headache. Abeg masters is not what he should be considering at the moment.