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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Please Advice! (5593 Views)
Please Advice Me On My Family Issue / I'm In Big Mess, Please Advice Me On What To Do / I'm Having Serious Issues With My Step Dad Please Advice Me. (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Please Advice! by Theyoungmatron: 8:07pm On Jun 18, 2019 |
calgaryFriend:10k a month threat from a prostitute that will later cost him his manhood. ![]() ![]() Emotionally blackmailing women by dishing out what you cannot take is a faux pas in this 21st century. If you think your 20k a month feeding allawee is feasible, run it down let's see sir. People are watching this thread to see if they are over spending and ways to cut down, so do well to enlighten us. No point giving vague remarks . 4 Likes |
Re: Please Advice! by Nobody: 8:11pm On Jun 18, 2019 |
Theyoungmatron:It is the truth, you are the one trying to pretend that that is not a real threat. I bet you know it is, so what is wrong with talking about it ? It is better for her to learn from the mistake of others and not herself. |
Re: Please Advice! by tabithababy(f): 8:14pm On Jun 18, 2019 |
All of you saying 20k is enough for a man and his pregnant wife. ![]() ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Please Advice! by baby124: 8:19pm On Jun 18, 2019 |
zeb04:Leave them. They think babies are like doll baby that will just sit and look cute, without eating, pissing or shitting. Experience is the best teacher for them. Masters ko, mastera ni. He will almost drop out from the masters program when the birth comes and the expenses start to flow in. Babies are cute but so expensive eh! 4 Likes |
Re: Please Advice! by bukatyne(f): 8:20pm On Jun 18, 2019 |
Why are people missing the point of this thread as stated by the OP? A woman who out of N20k feeding and small change can buy an industrial machine is not an extravagant wife. Na wa. 3 Likes |
Re: Please Advice! by zeb04(f): 8:27pm On Jun 18, 2019 |
calgaryFriend:Oga give us break down and stop being emotional abeg. Olosho this olosho that with his 5k feeding allowance. Why he no marry them. Punk. I even thought you were reasonably looking for a solution for her. 5 Likes |
Re: Please Advice! by Theyoungmatron: 8:34pm On Jun 18, 2019 |
calgaryFriend:You are evading my questions and this threat is getting stale. A man that can't increase the feeding allowance of his family, will give maintenance allowance to a prostitute from which the supposed "runs girls" will use 10k to cook soup for him? What planet are you lots living in? I think something is wrong somewhere with this reasoning sir. 3 Likes |
Re: Please Advice! by Nobody: 8:42pm On Jun 18, 2019 |
This is the time for people earning below 50k per month to come and tell us how they do it. I know in Osun, Ogun, Oyo, Ekiti and most northern states, the take home pay for a GL 8 officer is less than 50k. Infact in some states, the government has been paying civil servants half salary for more than 2 years now. If you dont know how to manage your home or resources dont come and tell us it can not be done, how are these categories of people doing it ? Are they stealing ? I am giving facts here and these things can be confirmed. I have friends in the civil service earning less than 50k and they are graduates. How are they doing it ? Una dey talk say 20k per month is too small for 2 people. Are they cooking elephant ? Na so people dey take chop their future o. How do you want to build a house if you say 20k is too small for 2 people to feed in a month, but the time they have 2 more children they will be feeding with how much ? 40k a month ? How will the man not steal ? We have a lot of people on these forum that dont even know what is going on in Nigeria. The teacher teaching in public schools , how much do they earn ? Dont they have families too ? |
Re: Please Advice! by Nobody: 8:46pm On Jun 18, 2019 |
Theyoungmatron:
tHAT IS what the OP wrote, she has started nagging her husband because according to her, the man is not doing enough with the 20k/month he is giving her for feeding. This is how some men will start running away from home and be going to beer parlour, na from there the girlfriend of their friend will bring her own friend. Na so you start to dey loose your husband fa. I worked in Naija for 6 good years, worked a professional job and saw this narrative countless times. I just dey warn the OP, make devil nor con pour sand sand for her garri. I don talk my own. |
Re: Please Advice! by Theyoungmatron: 8:59pm On Jun 18, 2019 |
calgaryFriend:Sand sand for gari wey don dey sour. Kai, as If marriage is a tournament and the husband a trophy. African women don suffer. Which money will he give his outside girlfriend that he won't give to his wife. Is it also justified for the wife to get the remainder from an outside boyfriend since the horseband is not coming through.? ![]() ![]() Honestly, what you wrote is utterly myopic and devoid of objective reasoning. You are still evading my questions of the 5k breakdown abi i go wait taya. i pity the woman for the vulnerability of her condition. If she is not pregnant, i doubt she will open a thread for this, she would have purchased her own form and beat the odds. 7 Likes |
Re: Please Advice! by crackhaus: 9:09pm On Jun 18, 2019 |
Excesslove222:Hmmmmm.. Please you didn't answer a certain question I asked. I'll reframe it this time... After he has taken out the cost for the masters from the savings, what percentage of the total savings remains? |
Re: Please Advice! by Nobody: 10:04pm On Jun 18, 2019 |
crackhaus: I don't have that information, but I know he has spent about 300k so far. And its just the starting point according to him. |
Re: Please Advice! by Nobody: 10:27pm On Jun 18, 2019 |
calgaryFriend: Its not about the car...I have been fine without it for more than 2 years and I did not die. A baby is on the way, that is why I'm bothered...it was "our plan" maybe you aren't married so you won't understand. FYI, he bring 5k per week and I add and extra 3k to it weekly because I sew and I have lots of clients "even at home where I sew" that's why I could afford an industrial sewing machine of over 100k. Now I have stopped adding to it, he is really feeling the brunt. A car would have made life and my business easier for me cause I do home delivery (don't ask me to use uber cause most of my clients won't pay the extra charges), I pick up from clients houses and I also source for fabrics for my clients. I know you still won't get the point tho. 5 Likes |
Re: Please Advice! by hayzed1090: 10:37pm On Jun 18, 2019 |
Excesslove222: Madam .. to get motor just dey hungry u ni. And to be honest , u av all the rights to feel that way. |
Re: Please Advice! by ireneidiva(f): 2:44am On Jun 19, 2019 |
calgaryFriend:Is it impossible for parents to have a car whilst pregnant for her? Did you grow up around poverty or what? Na wa o 2 Likes |
Re: Please Advice! by Nobody: 3:00am On Jun 19, 2019 |
As a newly-married couple you should prioritize your needs over wants. From your post you clearly practice the former, which is correct. It sounds like you're more money-savvy than he is, while he's financially irresponsible. Open a savings account for yourself and give him no access to it. When you've enough saved up, look after your needs (e.g. the car). 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Please Advice! by ireneidiva(f): 3:12am On Jun 19, 2019 |
Excesslove222:Allow him to do his masters for peace to reign.Since you've seen how he can be, start saving your own money to buy your own car if you want. Also consider expanding your business or getting a good job if this business is not lucrative enough. The era of waiting for a man to do stuff for you has gone. 3 Likes |
Re: Please Advice! by kaziblake(f): 5:37am On Jun 19, 2019 |
calgaryFriend:See wicked advice.. SMH |
Re: Please Advice! by Nobody: 9:49am On Jun 19, 2019 |
theButterfly: God bless you sir/ma 3 Likes |
Re: Please Advice! by Nobody: 1:18pm On Jun 19, 2019 |
Excesslove222:Wow! Firstly, let me commend you as a resourceful wife. Your kind is very rare in Nigeria nowadays... Back to your husband case, which level now?? Masters should wait till after delivery(God willing through natural birth), diapers, baby food and Mother's food are there too.. You need to talk to your husband about it. He needs to see that the cost of running home is not a joke. With time, he can pursue his Masters. But in order to put body and soul together, you guys should focus on your family needs first... Masters can wait, Baby won't... |
Re: Please Advice! by Nobody: 1:24pm On Jun 19, 2019 |
Fountainofyouth:That is a resourceful wife.. with good visions.. A feminist will use the whole money to buy phones, designer clothes and still accuse the man of being useless!!! A Feminist is selfish and not homely like this young lady!!! 1 Like |
Re: Please Advice! by Nobody: 1:36pm On Jun 19, 2019 |
Excesslove222:Building with a man is not a scam. You both just have to come with an understanding. I commend you once again.. |
Re: Please Advice! by Nobody: 1:43pm On Jun 19, 2019 |
LewsTherin:Funny Agborandun!!! ![]() ![]() |
Re: Please Advice! by Nobody: 1:53pm On Jun 19, 2019 |
nwanneni:She accepted the man proposal without thinking about his financial status. She decide to be there for him throughout the thick and thin of financial needs . You know slayqueens will not do that.. That is what homely wives mean by "building with the man" Don't take it literally tho.. 1 Like |
Re: Please Advice! by blank(f): 1:55pm On Jun 19, 2019 |
@ Op, let me give you a piece of financial advice for your marriage. Instead of using your money to run the house, bring that money and put it in the savings. I don't know why Nigerian guys are hotwired to automatically discard whatever contributions you make if the money was not used in making "big ticket" expenses. I kind of feel that's why he thinks he can change plans as he likes because he feels it's his money so he has the final say. As regards your quagmire, you're a smart woman. I know you will figure it out. Sometimes, we have to stoop to conquer, if you know what I mean. 5 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Please Advice! by miib: 2:22pm On Jun 19, 2019 |
calgaryFriend: When you constantly do that, then you are planning for downturn of the family. So, anytime you see a happy family, u think is by just saying 'I Love You to each other? You will learn by force, unless you don't want a happy family. 4 Likes |
Re: Please Advice! by miib: 2:28pm On Jun 19, 2019 |
Theyoungmatron: Abi ooo. |
Re: Please Advice! by desvi: 2:31pm On Jun 19, 2019 |
ireneidiva: will she have peace of mind if she accepts his nonsense? this 'for peace to reign' is an empty phrase in such a context, which you can use for trivial things but her situation is more serious and she should not be asked to swallow everything in the name of peace she deserves better 5 Likes |
Re: Please Advice! by desvi: 2:32pm On Jun 19, 2019 |
blank: smart |
Re: Please Advice! by zed7: 2:55pm On Jun 19, 2019 |
Women are funny I swear. Stop saying the OP is angry because he deviated from the plan, the OP is angry because she has told people they are buying a car. Some silly points I've been reading above makes me wonder if some people actually have cotton wool for a brain. The woman is angry oga bought suit for 100k while she sewed a gown. That suit will last that man 10 years and don't forget he works, so he can even wear it to work. How can you compare a suit to a wedding gown that will be worn just once? Again, it's surprising how a jobless woman wants to dictate how the bread winner should spend his money. That man is a hero and should be given a medal for excellent planning. If you want a car at all cost, tell daddy to buy you one, after all he probably has worked for many decades and should be able to 'dash' his princess a car. |
Re: Please Advice! by Nobody: 3:05pm On Jun 19, 2019 |
zed7: The fact the OP collects 20k a month for feeding and she still claims is not enough for 2 people to eat in 1 month shows the kind of mentality she has. I dont blame her though, she doesn't earn yet and has no burden of responsibility so she doesn't understand what men go through. The husband apparently knows the current income is not sustainable for a family and is using his foresight to give himself a better chance by getting another degree to enhance his chance but madamme wants to ride a car by all means. OP you too work hard and nobody will tell you not to buy your own car, abi ? |
Re: Please Advice! by baby124: 3:10pm On Jun 19, 2019 |
eni4real:This woman is the definition of a feminist. She’s independent even though she is not working. She has savings and is working her way to start her business so she can work. She supplements what ever the husband brings in. A feminist will never sit down and wait to use her husband’s money to buy phones. That’s a non feminist. You see that you don’t know what you are saying when you talk about feminists? 5 Likes |
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