Good evening nairalanders. i know this my question may sound stupid kind of, but we are hoping there's another way this whole thing can go.

We both discovered yesterday that we are both AS and we've fixed the wedding date already ( in 3 months). We love ourselves and we can't afford separation right now.

We talked at length yesterday on what exactly to do as people around us has been putting different kind of fears in us. we figured there might be couples out there who have also gone through this and we'll like to hear from them.
Is it a must we break up at this point after going through through so much or there's another way to go about this?

Please, your advises are really needed and will be appreciated as we are in a state of dilemma right now. We are hoping your advises will lead us to make the right decision


Thanks in anticipation.


cc: farano , rocktation, lalasticlala

Pls leave the relationship
Some people say they have had changed genotype through prayers but I don't advice it. Kindly run when you can. Moreover no church i know should agree to join both of you together.

The only way out of this dilemma is to call off the wedding and you guys should go your separate ways.

that's why it's always advisable to know your partner's genotype when the relationship start getting serious.

I know of one solution to this problem.

We love ourselves and we can't afford separation right now.

You can't afford separation that is free?

But you can afford pains/death for an unborn child in few months to come?

A child that didn't send you message?

Oga, you know what to do.

Dere is noting dat can be done about it...in ur next relationship,knw ur galfrd genotype bfor any commitment.PLS SAY NO TO SCA.Or maybe u bth agree to adopt

Freethought:
Good evening nairalanders. i know this my question may sound stupid kind of, but we are hoping there's another way this whole thing can go.

We both discovered yesterday that we are both AS and we've fixed the wedding date already ( in 3 months). We love ourselves and we can't afford separation right now.

We talked at length yesterday on what exactly to do as people around us has been putting different kind of fears in us. we figured there might be couples out there who have also gone through this and we'll like to hear from them.
Is it a must we break up at this point after going through through so much or there's another way to go about this?

Please, your advises are really needed and will be appreciated as we are in a state of dilemma right now. We are hoping your advises will lead us to make the right decision


Thanks in anticipation.


cc: farano , rocktation, lalasticlala

Don’t bring a child to this difficult Nigeria to suffer

pocohantas:



You can't afford separation that is free?

But you can afford pains/death for an unborn child in few months to come?

A child that didn't send you message?

Oga, you know what to do.

And d innocent child will be the one suffering from all dix..

Freethought:
Good evening nairalanders. i know this my question may sound stupid kind of, but we are hoping there's another way this whole thing can go.

We both discovered yesterday that we are both AS and we've fixed the wedding date already ( in 3 months). We love ourselves and we can't afford separation right now.

We talked at length yesterday on what exactly to do as people around us has been putting different kind of fears in us. we figured there might be couples out there who have also gone through this and we'll like to hear from them.
Is it a must we break up at this point after going through through so much or there's another way to go about this?

Please, your advises are really needed and will be appreciated as we are in a state of dilemma right now. We are hoping your advises will lead us to make the right decision


Thanks in anticipation.


cc: farano , rocktation, lalasticlala

https://lists.ng/5-ways-for-as-as-couples-to-get-married-and-still-break-the-sickle-cell-cycle/

interestingly, this is a naija blog. to put it simply, you better have paper and patience

Here are 5 ways an AS + AS couple can get married and still break the Sickle Cycle.

Natural Conception:

When the couple conceive naturally, they wait till the pregnancy is about 10 weeks old. Then they take a test to check the genotype of the embryo. This is done by the Chorionic Villous Sampling (from 10 weeks) or Amniocentesis (from 13 weeks). A needle is inserted into the pregnant abdomen to collect the cells needed. The cells are cultured ad a genetic testing is carried out.

If the embryo has the SS genotype, the pregnancy is terminated. If the embryo des not have the SS genotype, it is left to develop to full term.

The major downside to this is that the procedure is expensive and not everyone can afford it. The test alone costs about N250,000 while a medical abortion costs between N10,000 to N20,000 and a surgical abortion costs between N25,000 to N50,000.

Other downsides include the risk of miscarriage. 0.5 to 1 % of women who undergo this test end up miscarrying the pregnancy.

There is also the anxiety of waiting for 10 weeks at least to find out the embryo’s genotype and another one week to get the result of the test. The couple also has to endure the emotional trauma of going through an abortion. It is also quite possible that the woman changes her mind about having an abortion and then she goes ahead to give birth to an SS baby.

Pre-Implantation Genetic Diagnosis (PGD):

Pre-implantation Genetic Diagnosis works like In Vitro Fertilization (IVF). Unlike with natural conception, this doesn’t involve termination of pregnancy. The couple goes through an IVF cycle; the sperm and egg are fertilized in a petri dish and allowed to grow, then after three to four days, a biopsy of some cells is carried out. Only non-SS babies are then transplanted into the mother. SS embryos are destroyed.

Most fertility centers in Nigeria do not have the ability to do the biopsy and so the samples are sent abroad for the test. PGD has a 99.99% success rate.

The downside to this is the cost. It costs about 4 million Naira.

In Vitro Fertilization (IVF):

In the past few years, assisted fertility has gained ground in Nigeria and IVF is one of the first options couples who are finding it difficult to conceive naturally turn to. IVF can also help AS + AS couples have babies that aren’t SS.

This is done by using the sperm or egg of someone else who isn’t a Sickle carrier. So, the sperm of an AA man or the egg of an AA woman can be used to make the embryo before it is transplanted into the mother.

Although it costs less than the PGD, it still costs more than going through the process of natural conception.

IVF procedure costs about 700,000 to 2 million Naira in Nigeria, depending on the center the procedure is done at. If the couple uses an anonymous donor, the sperm or egg costs about N50,000 to N100,000 extra. However, it may cost them less or even nothing if the sperm or egg is donated by someone they know, depending on the couple’s agreement with the donor.

The major downside is the anxiety the couple has to deal with as there is the risk of the IVF procedure failing.

Adoption:

There are lots and lots of babies who need a home and an AS + AS couple can provide them one. If the couple are bent on marrying, then they may decide not to have their children biologically and opt for adoption instead.

The downside to this is the stigma the couple may face from family and friends as adoption is not yet seen as a valid, viable option by a lot of Nigerians.

A childless marriage:

While your Nigerian mother may threaten to fall down and die if you don’t provide her with grandchildren, there are some people who do not want to have children of their own. And if two of these people happen to be AS and they happen to get married with the agreement that they will have no children, then they will not continue the Sickle Cycle.



The above options may be frowned upon by a lot of people for moral, religious or cultural reasons, but at the end of the day, they are valid options nonetheless. If two AS people want to get married against popular opinion, it is important that they are provided with all the available options so they can make an informed decision. That way, they can make better choices instead of continuing the Sickle Cycle by putting their ‘faith’ to the test.

if my memory serves me right, my sis close friend broke with her bf because of this. they are however married today in UK. she is a doctor, he is a lawyer so i guess they were able to take one of the options listed

like i said, you better have paper

AwkaetitiBabe:
I know of one solution to this problem.

please advise

My pastor and his wife are AS and they did not have any SS child, all their children not 1,not 2 are AS. The thing is they already knew their status and always approach the hospital whenever the wife gets pregnant, not hospital in Naija o, in the UK precisely! I don't know what they do but I know it involves lots of money! And he has it... So you've got to think twice before you both continue sailing.

Freethought:


please advise

When pregnant, you guys can check the genotype of the baby, if SS, abort. Or better yet, abandon ship.

Stupid generation with no faith...

Who cares if you both are AS... Go on and marry, what shal separate you from the love of Christ?? Certainly not thinking of SS...

Allow the chains of the devil to hold you down in captivity

will faith pay the medical bills if the child is SS

[s]

Jokerman:
Stupid generation with no faith...

Who cares if you both are AS... Go on and marry, what shal separate you from the love of Christ?? Certainly not thinking of SS...

Allow the chains of the devil to hold you down in captivity

[/s]

Jokerman:
Stupid generation with no faith...

Who cares if you both are AS... Go on and marry, what shal separate you from the love of Christ?? Certainly not thinking of SS...

Allow the chains of the devil to hold you down in captivity

STFU...
OP if you like listen to this one's advice, I pity you.
If you both have love for humanity, you better reconsider your plans for marriage.
Don't bring any child to this world to suffer.
A sickle cell guy who just graduated from Lasu few months ago died 2 weeks ago. Did he tell you his parents didn't have faith?
Smh...

pocohantas:



You can't afford separation that is free?

But you can afford pains/death for an unborn child in few months to come?

A child that didn't send you message?

Oga, you know what to do.

As in ehn...I wonder how some people think.

kingxsamz:


STFU...
OP if you like listen to this one's advice, I pity you.
If you both have love for humanity, you better reconsider your plans for marriage.
Don't bring any child to this world to suffer.
A sickle cell guy who just graduated from Lasu few months ago died 2 weeks ago. Did he tell you his parents didn't have faith?
Smh...

Jesus!!!

If I see a woman that is everything I want. Genotype no fit stop me.

Freethought:
Good evening nairalanders. i know this my question may sound stupid kind of, but we are hoping there's another way this whole thing can go.

We both discovered yesterday that we are both AS and we've fixed the wedding date already ( in 3 months). We love ourselves and we can't afford separation right now.

We talked at length yesterday on what exactly to do as people around us has been putting different kind of fears in us. we figured there might be couples out there who have also gone through this and we'll like to hear from them.
Is it a must we break up at this point after going through through so much or there's another way to go about this?

Please, your advises are really needed and will be appreciated as we are in a state of dilemma right now. We are hoping your advises will lead us to make the right decision


Thanks in anticipation.


cc: farano , rocktation, lalasticlala

Please, I'm begging you don't be foolish!
If you love that woman so much then you should adopt a child or go for IVF. You have no right to bring a child into this world to suffer from ss.

My friend is also in the same predicament. He's confuse and does not know what next to do.

I've told him the consequences

Surprisingly, he called me today to say the wedding must go on.

I believe he doesn't have the balls to call off the wedding. I just hope he knows what he's doing

Jokerman:
Stupid generation with no faith...

Who cares if you both are AS... Go on and marry, what shal separate you from the love of Christ?? Certainly not thinking of SS...

Allow the chains of the devil to hold you down in captivity

You're a retarded animal.
It's your kind that will use the name of Jesus the drunkard to ruin the life's of people.

Since it's not medically advisable to marry an AS gene when u are one. It's better to go ur separate ways. Pray call work oo but that when u are not aware of the situation before hand. If u indulge in it after u were well informed of the obstacles involved... I pray u won't bury ur kids ooo... Pls opt out of this tariff kiakai.

There are ways out of it thanks to science but the question is, are both of you willing to be strong and committed to the love? Both of you can visit Bridge Clinic and hear first hand of the procedure and cost and decide.

Thiscis putting the cart before the horse. You guys should have confirmed and reconfirmed your genotype before fixing a date. Guy sickle cell no be child's play.

ThothHermes:
If I see a woman that is everything I want. Genotype no fit stop me.

Thunder strike that balls wey u want use impregnate that woman.

kingxsamz:


Thunder strike that balls wey u want use impregnate that woman.

Thunder is just sound. It's lightening that "strikes"

Illiterate.

There are medical ways to go about it. If ur have money risk am. Same shit happened to me. I ran. I cannot be having sex with my own wife and getting hbp say na ss dey load. I cannot use 2m to do IVF when i no be dangote

Duchessree:
The only way out of this dilemma is to call off the wedding and you guys should go your separate ways.

that's why it's always advisable to know your partner's genotype when the relationship start getting serious.

In fact I was just discussing this topic with someone this evening. Most AS guys I know make sure they ask the ladies they meet, once they know they are interested in a relationship with them.
Anyway it has happened and others can learn from this too.

It's better you leave the relationship now than live a life full of pain and regret.

How did you fix marriage without knowing your genotype in the first place.

Tosinex:
My pastor and his wife are AS and they did not have any SS child, all their children not 1,not 2 are AS. The thing is they already knew their status and always approach the hospital whenever the wife gets pregnant, not hospital in Naija o, in the UK precisely! I don't know what they do but I know it involves lots of money! And he has it... So you've got to think twice before you both continue sailing.

Your pastor and his wife kill SS foetuses she conceives while retaining AS ones.

Even if you guys did not do biology in school for whatever reason, you have google and still wont use it to educate yourselves? Why you ppl just like to dey embarrass Nigeria lai dis? Outsiders go dey think say everybody for here na complete dimwitted ignoramus,which is not so...

Lmfao

kingxsamz:


STFU...
OP if you like listen to this one's advice, I pity you.
If you both have love for humanity, you better reconsider your plans for marriage.
Don't bring any child to this world to suffer.
A sickle cell guy who just graduated from Lasu few months ago died 2 weeks ago. Did he tell you his parents didn't have faith?
Smh...