LilMissFavvy:
I have read more than enough books that talks about how unhealthy it is for married couples to live apart. The probability for men to cheat is far higher than women. Besides, I didn't say all men. I said majority of men. Don't vouch for anyone, you can never be so sure.

I can now see where the problem is.. U READ IT... U have never seen it happen... This are two different things entirely... it's just like computer student studying only theory... But couldn't understand it during practical..

You read what the author wanted you to believe just to sell books... Please keep those books and their statistical analysis aside... It's time for you to do the observation yourself... Check if most men are truly cheats or just what every author called Ellen, Holly Jennifer and Joy wants you to believe..

Almost all the married men I see around cheat. Let me speak up, since that's what you want. I am a lady, and I see things. I know far better than you. I have never seen a married man that is faithful. You are tempting me to talk about my own personal experiences, but I will not.

Richy4:


I can now see where the problem is.. U READ IT... U have never seen it happen... This are two different things entirely... it's just like computer student studying only theory... But couldn't understand it during practical..

You read what the author wanted you to believe just to sell books... Please keep those books and their statistical analysis aside... It's time for you to do the observation yourself... Check if most men are truly cheats or just what every author called Ellen, Holly Jennifer and Joy wants you to believe..

LilMissFavvy:
Almost all the married men I see around cheat. Let me speak up, since that's what you want. I am a lady, and I see things. I know far better than you. I have never seen a married man that is faithful. You are tempting me to talk about my own personal experiences, but I will not.

U don't even know me, already you have concluded that you have seen and knew better than me..

Even if you were living in Gomorrah neighbourhood, as u want to make me believe how is it possible that every married man in that place runs around...Anyways, that OK. Let's not make this about us and focus on how to help OP.. especially as her job is at stake at the moment... What do you think is the way forward for her..

Yeah.....the way forward is what I contributed.

Richy4:


U don't even know me, already you have concluded that you have seen and knew better than me..

Even if you were living in Gomorrah neighbourhood, as u want to make me believe how is it possible that every married man in that place runs around...Anyways, that OK. Let's not make this about us and focus on how to help OP.. especially as her job is at stake at the moment... What do you think is the way forward for her..

sighs
Babe,i'm e-hugging You right now.Sorry

Tnx everyone who took out time to drop a comment or two. I'm considering every available options. Today was a long wait,yet didn't hear from the school management. As a matter of fact, when I was summoned, I quickly used my baby in the schools creche to lie, claiming he was sick n had to go buy drugs 4him at the pharmacy. How then will I change my story to the real thing.

Really sad, ignore him, pretend he doesn't exist for a while, he will come back to his senses, I don't want to call him unprintable names cos I'm really tempted to......

Redrosely:
Tnx everyone who took out time to drop a comment or two. I'm considering every available options. Today was a long wait,yet didn't hear from the school management. As a matter of fact, when I was summoned, I quickly used my baby in the schools creche to lie, claiming he was sick n had to go buy drugs 4him at the pharmacy. How then will I change my story to the real thing.

Thinking and praying for you. Listen to your family you will need all the emotional support they offer.

Your hubby doesn't love you and he is selfish and its its not because you erred or did something wrong; you are not at fault here so don't blame yourself at all

Richy4:


Your confidence in this subject matter is really amusing..
There are Nigerian men out here who has wife(s).. but due to one visa issue or the other, they couldn't join them... At least I know 4 that I can vouch for who doesn't run around.. They have the pic of their wife(s) and kids scattered all over the office desk, in their wallets etc.. they Skype every blessed day.. Make phone calls like crazy...
some even knew what their wife are gonna prepare for dinner...

Please don't go around painting every male species with the same brush.. it is dangerous... Expecially when you have never been to every household..

In this world that is full of unfaithful people, there are still lots of guys holding their sacred vow... The fact that few desecrate their marital vows does not mean every one was doing the same...

this your comment wants to make me give my life to Christ

Redrosely:
Tnx everyone who took out time to drop a comment or two. I'm considering every available options. Today was a long wait,yet didn't hear from the school management. As a matter of fact, when I was summoned, I quickly used my baby in the schools creche to lie, claiming he was sick n had to go buy drugs 4him at the pharmacy. How then will I change my story to the real thing.

theres no changing it. Live it that way and get yourself together. As from now, if he doesn’t call you to APOLOGIZE TO YOU AND YOUR MOM, act like he doesn’t exist.

stupidity:
this your comment wants to make me give my life to Christ

Na man like you be that o.

Hmm...just saying. At the end, the "centre of gravity" remains the same in every female if that is what you're still exploring.

Reason am

OP, I am so sorry that you are experiencing this. Please take time out for yourself. Maybe you can take some time off from work like two days. Drop your children off with your mother and have an extended weekend to yourself. Please don’t cheat, don’t bring yourself down to the level of your husband.

Kindly take the time to re-evaluate this marriage and decide where you want to take it. When you have decided, go and get your children back from your mother and answer his call. Tell him what your decision is. Please think carefully about the past, the present and the future with him. Think about how you will want your own future to be and make the decision. We here cannot make any decisions for you. Cry if you need to, laugh if you need to, have a drink if you need to. All the best.

Redrosely:
Tnx everyone who took out time to drop a comment or two. I'm considering every available options. Today was a long wait,yet didn't hear from the school management. As a matter of fact, when I was summoned, I quickly used my baby in the schools creche to lie, claiming he was sick n had to go buy drugs 4him at the pharmacy. How then will I change my story to the real thing.

Just say you were worried about your child, and also had issues with your husband which didn't allow you think of letting anyone know your movement, as you just got a nasty call. All these things happening at once made you not know what you were doing. Let them know you're the only one practically raising your children as there father is away. Tell them you're sorry and It is a mistake which won't happen again.

tabithababy:
You want to lose your job cos of a man

As usual. Senseless.

You don’t have a husband anymore. Act like it.

Can’t be married to someone who isn’t married to you.

czarina:
Na man like you be that o.

Hmm...just saying. At the end, the "centre of gravity" remains the same in every female if that is what you're still exploring.

Reason am

i swear, I’m really challenged right now, on Sunday I’ll use my dlck to pay tithe make e for deh God hand.

stupidity:
i swear, I’m really challenged right now, on Sunday I’ll use my dlck to pay tithe make e for deh God hand.

You no serious

cococandy:
You don’t have a husband anymore. Act like it.

Can’t be married to someone who isn’t married to you.

divorce is d answer abi

Try to keep your job at all costs

I would divorce him personally, but that’s just me. Give him the same energy he’s giving you and if possible, cut communication to the bare minimum unless you need to discuss something concerning your kids. He isn’t worth making an effort for beyond that

Very sorry this happening to you, pleaase do what you can to keep your job though

cococandy:
You don’t have a husband anymore. Act like it.

Can’t be married to someone who isn’t married to you.

When something is broken, you don't throw it away, you try to fix it.

Redrosely:
Tnx everyone who took out time to drop a comment or two. I'm considering every available options. Today was a long wait,yet didn't hear from the school management. As a matter of fact, when I was summoned, I quickly used my baby in the schools creche to lie, claiming he was sick n had to go buy drugs 4him at the pharmacy. How then will I change my story to the real thing.

The school management threatened your job because of this? Seems like you work in a private school, with low pay perhaps? Meaning, there's little you can do all by yourself without your enstrange husband's financial contribution and inputs?

I think your husband is capitalising on this 'fact' knowing very well that you'll come back to him. The incessant calls may also have given him some insight as to how far you can go without him.

Quite unfortunate but I think you should worry less. The deed had been done, and forgiveness isn't even an option at the moment. No forgiveness without repentance genuine and tested repentance. What to do? Be UNPREDICTABLE! Whatever that means to you, just be unpredictable and stay out of reach.

The result of staying unpredictable for a significant period of time (depends on the extent of the pain you feel) will determine whether your marriage is over or not.

Cheers

Acidosis:


The school management threatened your job because of this? Seems like you work in a private school, with low pay perhaps? Meaning, there's little you can do all by yourself without your enstrange husband's financial contribution and inputs?

I think your husband is capitalising on this 'fact' knowing very well that you'll come back to him. The incessant calls may also have given him some insight as to how far you can go without him.

Quite unfortunate but I think you should worry less. The deed had been done, and forgiveness isn't even an option at the moment. No forgiveness without repentance genuine and tested repentance. What to do? Be UNPREDICTABLE! Whatever that means to you, just be unpredictable and stay out of reach.

The result of staying unpredictable for a significant period of time (depends on the extent of the pain you feel) will determine whether your marriage is over or not.

Cheers

love this post like kilode

Acidosis:


When something is broken, you don't throw it away, you try to fix it.

tnx 4ur input though,but I'm personally fed up of doing d fixing always. I think he always know that either way I will always forgive him.The last time I called him b4 I decided to stop taking his calls, his words were, I quote...
When ever we meet,we will reconcile our differences cos I'm still his wife. That's when it dawned on me that he already knows I will forgive him even before he commits it.

cococandy:
You don’t have a husband anymore. Act like it.

Can’t be married to someone who isn’t married to you.

Gbam...my issue is my kids,how do I make them understand,cos d wouldn't let me be. You hear them say, mom I want to tell dady good night,mum wen is dady coming back. Mum everybody in my class has dady only me. I just tire

Redrosely:
tnx 4ur input though,but I'm personally fed up of doing d fixing always. I think he always know that either way I will always forgive him.The last time I called him b4 I decided to stop taking his calls, his words were, I quote...
When ever we meet,we will reconcile our differences cos I'm still his wife. That's when it dawned on me that he already knows I will forgive him even before he commits it.

I understand you perfectly. You've being fixing the situation using the wrong method.

Redrosely:

Gbam...my issue is my kids,how do I make them understand,cos d wouldn't let me be. You hear them say, mom I want to tell dady good night,mum wen is dady coming back. Mum everybody in my class has dady only me. I just tire

No matter how much we love our kids, our happiness too counts. Infact it'll be hard to give ur kids the best if u are not happy. Don't mind all the daddy talk, it wouldn't kill them. Last last they'll come to terms with his absence.

U are not married, forget that man. Live like he doesn't exist. Don't call or pick up his calls. Calling or answering his calls is kind of giving him room to continuously disrespect and torment u. Good thing is that u are working and can cater for ur self. Forget his existence and focus on u.

If he ever takes out the time to travel to u to make amends, use the opportunity and bring about changes. Give conditions and be firm abt them. Infact be ready to leave the marriage if he doesn't follow the rules(reasonable ones of course like him coming home more often).

Marriage is not a do or die affair. It's not worth living in an abusive (yes u are being abused) marriage all because of your kids. They may be ur offsprings but u don't owe them ur life. Besides, where is the dad in their life now that u are in.the marriage?

Quit the marriage if nothing improves.

Acidosis:


When something is broken, you don't throw it away, you try to fix it.

When the person who owns it with you also wants to fix it. Otherwise you can’t fix it.

Long distance marriage is not good, it is an opposite of God's marital arrangement. God want man and woman to stick to each other. How can you be together when your lives in jericho and your husband in jerusalem, how will you warm each other daily? Please if you want to enjoy your marriage, pack all your load a live with your husband.

A man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife!
Your husband is already cleaving or has cleaved to a strange woman! Since you are not there to cleave with, That's the problem. And that's because both of you are separated from each other, sincerely it is unexpected of him not to cheat, 6months or what! And you guys didn't see or sex each other and you think it's normal! Nah it's not. So what's the solution, woman go and get your husband back! You see, some men don't care, they have money and women flocking around them, before you knew it Som1 will just hijack him from u! And you will just be put by one side. Well my advice, go and get your man back, and even if they post him to maiduguri, make sure you see him every month! Thanks.

@ watch this movies war room and why did I get married. You need to be strong to work things out. It's a woman that builds a home. You need to put your home in order.

Look for someone your husband respect like pastor or an elderly uncle or friend. Explain things to them. Remember to remain calm.

Ask yourself, are you tired of the marriage?(I supposed the answer is no)
Do u want your marriage back?(yes)

If the answer is yes, then it's time to work things out. take charge. I believe the exam period is on, after the exam please Strategies.

Try and be focused now. Do things that make u happy. You have sacrificed to build your marriage, and no one can tear your family apart. Pick points from those movies.

Everyone is trying to make their marriage work. It's not easy anywhere. Don't be DECEIVED. Some of us , have gone through worse.look for that inner strength, you are strong and brave. Build courage up.

Keep your job. When responding to your hubby be calm and don't respond harshly. Maybe being mute may help or silent treatment for now. He will get scared because he doesn't know what you are up to.

Remember to dialogue when the atmosphere is calm.communicate and know the reason for his actions. Please and please DONT BEG. you didn't do anything wrong. Once you start begging, you will keep begging. Search yourself, you know yourself. Whatever you are not doing right be get it right.

[b][/b] it's not late yet. Good luck

Is the husband at fault here?

Yes or No.

So much disgusting BS

wonyi:
@ watch this movies war room and why did I get married. You need to be strong to work things out. It's a woman that builds a home . You need to put your home in order .

Look for someone your husband respect like pastor or an elderly uncle or friend. Explain things to them. Remember to remain calm.

Ask yourself, are you tired of the marriage?(I supposed the answer is no)
Do u want your marriage back?(yes)

If the answer is yes, then it's time to work things out. take charge. I believe the exam period is on, after the exam please Strategies.

Try and be focused now. Do things that make u happy. You have sacrificed to build your marriage, and no one can tear your family apart. Pick points from those movies.

Everyone is trying to make their marriage work. It's not easy anywhere. Don't be DECEIVED. Some of us , have gone through worse .look for that inner strength, you are strong and brave. Build courage up.

Keep your job. When responding to your hubby be calm and don't respond harshly. Maybe being mute may help or silent treatment for now. He will get scared because he doesn't know what you are up to.

Remember to dialogue when the atmosphere is calm.communicate and know the reason for his actions . Please and please DONT BEG. you didn't do anything wrong. Once you start begging, you will keep begging. Search yourself, you know yourself. Whatever you are not doing right be get it right .

[b][/b] it's not late yet. Good luck

cococandy:
Is the husband at fault here?

Yes or No.

So much disgusting BS

In the future please stay off my mention. The message is for the op not u.



I am not ready to engage in name calling or exchange of words .

COCOCANDY STAY OFF MY MENTION IN THE FUTURE