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Let's Talk About Rape by BossDante: 6:55am On Jul 04, 2019 |
Rape may be defined as an unlawful sexual intercourse or any other sexual penetration of the virgina, anus or mouth of another person, with or without force, by a sexual organ, other body part or a foreign object, without the consent of the victim. It's worthy of mention to note that under Nigerian law, it can be inferred that only a woman or a child can be raped (exclusion of Abuja law, which includes men in their definition). A child here is anyone below the age of 18 years. So in a nutshell, Rape is having NON CONSENSUAL sex with a lady or having sex, whether consensual or not with a child. We would be discussing about the former. Frome the above, it can be deduced that the concept of rape as regards to women narrow down to CONSENT. Now this is were it gets tricky, WHAT IS CONSENT? We can't deny the fact that most times when sex happen, there might not be an express agreement preceding the act, (well except in cases of prostitution and very few other cases). From this, we might deduce that consent might be either EXPRESS or IMPLIED as regards the surrounding circumstances. We will be discussing IMPLIED CONSENT, which of course is what has always been contentious. I would discuss IMPLIED CONSENT using the following questions below. DOES NO REALLY MEAN NO? Many a time, when the issue of rape comes up, we see a lot of people coming up with various hatch tags and clichés, one of them is the above. Some even go to the length of saying, no matter the point of intimacy, whenever she says stop, even if you have already started intercourse, then you have to stop as continuation is equal to rape. Well that's an issue for some other day. Today, we are discussing if in practical, NO always means NO. In this part of the world, where women tends to be passive and timid in sexual matters, we can't deny the fact that most women are not straight forward concerning what they want as regards to sexual related matters. This is why a lady would visit her boyfriend and when she wants 'IT', instead of asking directly, she would tell him that she would be leaving very soon. This to her is a subtle way of telling him that he should be fast with whatever he wants to do. Now, how do we expect a lady that can't directly request for sex from her boyfriend not to first say NO and tease him, telling him how he loves sex too much, how she don't like sex and asking him if that's the reason he wants her around, before finally letting him have his way into the promise land lol. We have heard cases where the lady would be saying ''stop, don't stop, stop, don't stop'', or where she would be saying stop but holding him tight to her body. What do we do in such circumstances? We have also heard of cases where a lady would complain about how she would never visit a guy again because he wasted her time and doesn't understand women language, simply because when he made his move and she told him to stop, he stopped instead of trying more. Even some ladies say it's normal for them to play hard to get at first so the guy won't see them as an easy lay. From the above we may say that NO DOESN'T ALWAYS MEAN NO. This moves on to our next discussion.. WHEN DOES NO MEAN NO? First, I advise every guy to stop whenever a lady says NO, relax and then calmly ask her if that's really what she wants, If she answers in affirmative, then you have to stop, even if you are sure she wants it. This would save you from guilt tripping or image tarnishing she might want to embark on if you continue. If she wanted it but told you she didn't, she played herself, next time she would be honest with the next person she meets and just maybe, they would stop saying NO when they mean YES. And the world would be a better place LOL. Other examples when NO means NO can be inferred from surrounding circumstances, like - if she leaves the room to sleep somewhere else, if she moves to the door and tell you she's leaving, if she reacts violently, bites or hit you etc. My brother, respect your old age and let her be. DOES SILENCE MEAN CONSENT? This also may be known from the surrounding circumstances. When you make a move she's quiet while you continue ''moving your motion'', this might be regarded as consent, however, this rule does not cover the whole field, like for instance, she is silent but crying or struggling with you, in such cases you have to please STOP. DOES GOING TO SLEEP OVER IN A MAN WHO IS HITTING ON YOU HOUSE MEAN CONSENT? First, It's risky to sleep over in a man's house, let alone a man that you know has the hot for you, like what do you expect (or not expect) to happen before. When someone is attracted to another sexually, you don't expect such a person to behave rationally, so for your own good, it's best you avoid situations in which only both of you would be alone in private. DOES SLEEPING ON THE SAME BED MEAN CONSENT? Okay, I won't want to sound like a hypocrite and continue to hit on why a lady would sleep on the same bed with a man if she doesn't want sex. The truth is that we trust certain people to some extent to sleep with them on the same bed and expect nothing. So sleeping on the same bed with a friend of the opposite sex is NOT consent. Though, this should be avoided as you can't tell the mind of another. If you ever find yourself in such position, you should take the following safety precautions- don't wear a revealing outfit, don't sleep naked, in fact wear double jeans trousers,one buttoned in front, the other buttoned behind. I repeat, DON'T SLEEP NAKED and start arguing about how it's your body and you can do whatever you like with it, if you can't, please respect yourself and sleep in your house. DOES CUDDLING MEAN CONSENT? Well, even though it's not advisable, sometimes you might only want cuddles and nothing more. If this is the case, please tell him before hand, so he won't start and be having high expectations. You are dealing with a human with feelings. Not telling him might make him program other things on his mind then it would become hard to stop after he gets started. You also have to always put him in check whenever he wants to cross the line, don't allow it get to the point where it becomes too late to stop like allowing him finger sex you or give you head, madam, when it gets to this stage don't come and tell us story oh, you should better be ready to help him cum in another way cos you are on your own now. DOES DRESSING SEDUCTIVELY TO VISIT MEAN CONSENT? There are certain stuffs that's not advisable to wear when going to see a man if you don't want anything to happen. We know it's your body, we respect that and that's the more reason you should keep it to yourself. Don't show us what's not ours, thank you very much. You hear it everytime that men are susceptible to what they see and then you go visiting with mini skirt/ gown and be pulling it down when you want to sit, as if you grew taller or the dress got shorter on your way coming, or the ones that go visiting a man without wearing bra or panties.. continue... we will be expecting your rape allegations video soon. DOES DEMANDING GIFTS AND MONEY MEAN CONSENT? We can't deny that in this part of the world, the financial burden of a relationship and friendship between opposite sex most time fall on the men. This sometimes result to a problem when eventually the lady denies the guy sex. Some guys might feel cheated and used after meeting the HIGH demands and requests from the lady but don't get anything in return, some of these guys feel entitled to sex as a reward for their assistance and might result to forcing themselves on the lady. So, I would advise guys first not to give in expectations of a return in investment and also advice ladies not to turn any guy to their father. You are not entitled to his money same way he is not entitled to your body In conclusion, I would be listing some possible solutions that might help to avoid rape, However, there are certain instances that are beyond ones control like in the case of being robbed or kidnapped and rape happens, may that never be our portion. So the following are practical measures you can use to avoid rape: 1. Stop demanding for gifts, money and assistance from a man. 2. Avoid being alone with a man in private. 3. Don't go visiting a guy. 4. Don't dress seductively or forget to wear your bra and panties when you go to visit. 5. Be mindful of foods and drinks you eat when you visit anyone. 6. Don't pass the night. 7. Don't sleep on the same bed. 8. Don't allow cuddles. 9. Don't dress lightly or sleep naked. 10. Don't allow giving of head or finger sex. 11. If you allow the above but still don't want to allow sex, be ready to make him cum with other means. He is not a light switch that can just turn his emotions on and off. He is a human with blood in his veins. Do not be ashamed to report to the authorities if anyone violates your body, and don't lie to punish anyone or lie cause you feel guilty or cheap after the act. #Contributions are welcomed. #Copyright remain exclusive to me. #No copy and paste. Ubunja MissRaine69 Martinez39 Toks2008 4 Likes |
Re: Let's Talk About Rape by BossDante: 7:32am On Jul 09, 2019 |
lalasticlala what do you think ![]() Password- SNAKE ![]() ![]() |
Re: Let's Talk About Rape by BossDante: 7:47am On Jul 09, 2019 |
You guys should comment oh. Let's see your views. If na about big yansh and big pricc naw, comment for don full here ![]() ![]() 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Let's Talk About Rape by Nobody: 11:18pm On Jul 09, 2019 |
if a girl dress seductively e no mean say she wan nack oo.girls love attention from the malefolks and one of d quickest way of gettin dat attention is dressing seductively.as for spendin d night in ur pad she may want sex with u or she may just want to be cuddled.u just have to understand ur woman and one underlying fact is wen a woman is really into u she will always want to get down with u.having said all this let me add dat one of my elder bros advice me dat if i happen to travel out i must try my best to avoid any foreign women cos women outside d shores of nigeria are evil and if u try woe them they will scream rape as soon as they notice u nigerian.i asked him how was he able to get 3 yankee girls he said he is dating over there and he told me he was one secret technique.i requested of him to give me the technique and he refused.he said if i happen to travel out of nigeria i should buy enuf vaseline cos wen u outside nigeria conji will finish u cos if u dare say hw far to any babe they will scream rape. |
Re: Let's Talk About Rape by abiolamitodun(m): 11:23pm On Jul 09, 2019 |
lefulefu:I can't stop laughing 1 Like |
Re: Let's Talk About Rape by BossDante: 12:13am On Jul 10, 2019 |
lefulefu:Lol. I have lived outside Africa. I think your bro is just messing with you. I don't want to go deep on a public forum, but things are more straight to the point out there, especially with the advent of social media, there's nothing you can't order online bro ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Let's Talk About Rape by Nobody: 12:22am On Jul 10, 2019 |
BossDante:hm na waoh and i was just pricing vaseline ![]() BossDante:hm na waoh and i was just pricing vaseline 1 Like |
Re: Let's Talk About Rape by Nobody: 12:23am On Jul 10, 2019 |
1 Like |
Re: Let's Talk About Rape by Altern8(m): 12:52am On Jul 10, 2019 |
Interesting. Let me respond. First of all, I am referring to a form of rape that is not the defilement of minors. Also, I am strictly talking about victims who are women. Thank you. Well, these days, rape is almost whatever the woman makes it. If she has not given explicit consent, do not engage. Abort mission. Why? Because she could decide she didn’t give permission if you went ahead, assumed and had your way. She may be into you but not to the point of having sex with you. Plus, not all rape victims struggle so, the “lack of struggle” argument does not hold water. If a woman appears to be encouraging a contest of strength before giving in to sex, guys, please run for your lives. That sex is not worth it. You should not risk your freedom for a girl who wants to be dominated. Let her go and fix herself first. What normal human being wants to be conquered by their sexual partner? I believe there is an underlying mental health challenge that encourages such adverse behaviour. Whatever you do, don’t assume. Be certain. I am beginning to wonder if guys now need to record forèplay and intercourse as precaution. Also, if you are drunk and your babe is drunk too, you most likely won’t be excused if she accuses you of rape. Somehow, drunkenness only protects the woman. Welcome to the new world. These are my views for now. So, Men, protect yourselves. There are ladies out there who won’t make you scheme, beg or struggle to get laid. Let’s find them. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Let's Talk About Rape by BossDante: 8:54am On Jul 21, 2019 |
You guys won't read and share now oh. This is something I wrote for our protection and for everyone to be safe. You can force a camel to the stream but can't force it to drink water. I have done my part. |
Re: Let's Talk About Rape by Nobody: 8:58am On Jul 21, 2019 |
What if she gives consent and later withdraws her consent during the act and you refused to stop, can it still be termed rape? |
Re: Let's Talk About Rape by Nobody: 9:01am On Jul 21, 2019 |
lefulefu:There is no such thing as your woman. She belongs to everybody. You're just enjoying your turn. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Let's Talk About Rape by Nobody: 4:01pm On Jul 22, 2019 |
highcollide:u noo lie ![]() ![]() |
Re: Let's Talk About Rape by BossDante: 8:06am On Jul 23, 2019 |
highcollide: Lol, Theoretically, it's rape, but in practical, It depends ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Let's Talk About Rape by BossDante: 8:07am On Jul 23, 2019 |
lefulefu: Aswear, 21st century lifestyle na scam 2 Likes |
Re: Let's Talk About Rape by BossDante: 10:12pm On Jul 24, 2019 |
highcollide:Lol. It depends 1 Like |
Re: Let's Talk About Rape by Nobody: 10:57pm On Jul 24, 2019 |
Thats why I keep advising u Guys to get a sexual consent form and make sure U both fill it. 1 Like
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Re: Let's Talk About Rape by BossDante: 11:40am On Jul 28, 2019 |
Budex40: Lol. The last paragraph in your consent form is vague though. |
Re: Let's Talk About Rape by Nobody: 12:34pm On Jul 28, 2019 |
Re: Let's Talk About Rape by BossDante: 1:13pm On Jul 28, 2019 |
Budex40:These words "It is further understood that when I say the word STOP, my partner agrees to STOP INSTANTLY, or my partner STOP at the stipulated time" is ambiguous. In drafting an agreement, one is encouraged to use direct words to avoid ambiguity and misinterpretation. Maybe something like this may suffice- "It is further understood that when I say the word STOP, and he doesn't stop instantly, his continuance won't be seen as RAPE' because I understand that his emotions isn't a light switch that can be turned on and off abruptly " ![]() |
Re: Let's Talk About Rape by Regex: 4:04pm On Sep 13, 2020 |
BossDante: The bolded above, is somewhat a difficult task for women to carry out given the fact they have a lot to gain following the rule. |
Re: Let's Talk About Rape by BossDante: 7:17pm On Jun 30, 2021 |
Regex: You're not wrong |
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