So last night a female friend of mine posted this question below.

Who would a guy choose between a girl who loved him while he was nothing and a girl who made him what he is today?

Below is my response to such misconstrued thinking of some ladies who play victims.


Okay let me clarify a bit. When a girl says she loved you when you were nothing I tend to wonder what the girl was at that moment. If you look closer she may be nothing financially and intellectually as well. I mean both of them were nothing while loving each other.

On the flip side there are situations a girl with financial and intellectual capability can be in love with a broke guy. She stays because she believes in him and to help him build till he becomes the person of his dreams.

In both examples.... Both girls stood by the guy while he was nothing right?

In first instance, the girl was just there standing in the relationship with nothing to offer as well besides love. The opposite of this is two people who fell in love while they are both rich.

In the second instance, she is in love with you even when she had the opportunity to go for someone better, she put in her effort and all to build the guy till he became who he wants to be.

Every sane person will choose the second girl. The first girl will only play victim and may not be able to pay the sacrifices the second girl paid if she was richer.

What do you guys think?

Its like the story of two women...one clears the farmland with you,burns it and plants casava with you for days or weeks.goes to the farm to clear the weeds with you,believing oneday you both will go and harvest them in due season.only to be dropped by her farmer bobo..and another woman comes to bake the garri for the man to eat...for me,the both did well...its like one planted and one watered it.

I need someone to roll up the sleeves and work with me, not just to be there standing by me.

donbachi:
Its like the story of two women...one clears the farmland with you,burns it and plants casava with you for days or weeks.goes to the farm to clear the weeds with you,believing oneday you both will go and harvest them in due season.only to be dropped by her farmer bobo..and another woman comes to bake the garri for the man to eat...for me,the both did well...its like one planted and one watered it.

And the one that connects you to get the customers

thesicilian:
I need someone to roll up the sleeves and work with me, not just to be there standing by me.

Exactly the point. No sane man would leave a woman that helped them build. They will always leave the one who had nothing to offer.

donbachi:
Its like the story of two women...one clears the farmland with you,burns it and plants casava with you for days or weeks.goes to the farm to clear the weeds with you,believing oneday you both will go and harvest them in due season.only to be dropped by her farmer bobo..and another woman comes to bake the garri for the man to eat...for me,the both did well...its like one planted and one watered it.

niggas ain't loyal. this is why women of worth bring nothing to some tables

funmisticqueen:
niggas ain't loyal. this is why women of worth bring nothing to some tables

i know understand

1x2x3:


Exactly the point. No sane man would leave a woman that helped them build. They will always leave the one who had nothing to offer.

So many great men went ahead to pick a second wife, that is after years with women who helped them build. OBJ married Stella and she was his First Lady. Eleganza man married Sade who wasn't even half his age, now she controls everything. Ned just married Regina.

Sometimes, men just want a woman that fits the current status. Has nothing to do with sanity.

That was how one girl said that she stood by me when I was still broke. I asked her,what tangible thing did you do for me asides sex(that both of us enjoyed) she started stammering,started crying. I told her these ur tears na crocodile tears ooooh. Besides that,I had earlier told her to go and find something doing yrs back but she declined.

Naija bitches are Leeches,looking for who to perch on.

Am definitely going for the girl that grow with me...

Typing...

pocohantas:


So many great men went ahead to pick a second wife after years with the women who helped them build. OBJ married Stella and she was his First Lady. Eleganza man married Sade, who wasn't even half his age. Now she controls everything. Ned just married Regina.

Sometimes, men just want a woman that fits the current status. Has nothing to do with sanity.

Marrying a second wife doesn't mean abandoning or walking away from your first wife.

AstroG:
That was how one girl said that she stood by me when I was still broke. I asked her,what tangible thing did you do for me asides sex(that both of us enjoyed) she started stammering,started crying. I told her these ur tears na crocodile tears ooooh. Besides that,I had earlier told her to go and find something doing yrs back but she declined.

Naija bitches are Leeches,looking for who to perch on.

People don't just sit and hope for their partner to make it while they refuse growing themselves.

The best thing for the guy in this hypothetical scenario is to make his own moves to better his situation. That way he can attribute his success to his own hardwork, not the efforts of a woman [Girl A or B] on him.

1x2x3:


Marrying a second wife doesn't mean abandoning or walking away from your first wife.

I expected your response. When you push aside the woman who built with you and marry a younger one to make her first lady or controller of your estate. That isn't abandonment ba?

If I abandon my broke bf who contributed nothing but prick and love. He will run to NL to create thread, telling everyone who cares to listen how I dumped him after getting a good job.

The general consensus would be how women can't handle power and/or how they change when they see small money. It will never be how he contributed nothing besides love and no sane woman would abandon a man who helped build her.

Abandonment is abandonment, be it taking additional wives or total cut off. Neither of them was the initial plan when you had nothing.

Why should a girl sit down doing nothing while her man builds himself up? I blame uneducated girls who are willing to support a man through school with their little trade, why not do it for yourself? How can you be so foolish? To the guys saying she had nothing to offer while he was broke apart from love and sex, why couldnt you stay without a girlfriend when you were broke? You are now claiming we both enjoyed it, did she ask you for sex? You were even having an erection when you were broke Girls, you better go and hustle with that your two hands and legs, you wont die if you work

funmisticqueen:
niggas ain't loyal. this is why women of worth bring nothing to some tables

So true. Either I'm Girl A or B, I would be reluctant to help a guy for this reason. There's a thread in Family right now relating to this:
https://www.nairaland.com/5305516/wife-vs-husban-in-laws/2#down. She married her husband when he had nothing. Now that he's well-to-do: he's a serial cheat, makes financial decisions behind her back, lets his 5 sisters treat her anyhow then defends them, to name a few of their ongoing issues. Women should be careful w| building men from scratch b|c there's no guarantee of his loyalty or respect in return.

pocohantas:


I expected your response. When you push the woman who built with you and marry a younger one to make her first lady or controller of your estate. That isn't abandonment ba?

If I abandon my broke bf who contributed nothing but prick and love. He will run to NL to create thread, telling everyone who cares to listen how I dumped him after getting a good job.

The general consensus would be how women can't handle power and/or how they change when they see small money. It will never be how he contributed nothing besides love and no sane woman would abandon a man who helped build her.

Abandonment is abandonment, be it taking additional wives or total cut off. Neither of them was the initial plan when you had nothing.

You are getting it wrong. I don't care if it is a woman or a man. I answered that question based on the fact it came from a girl and was directed to guys. I expect any reasonable person to do same.

theButterfly:
So true. Either I'm Girl A or B, I would be reluctant to help a guy for this reason. There's a thread in Family right now relating to this:
https://www.nairaland.com/5305516/wife-vs-husban-in-laws/2#down. She married her husband when he had nothing. Now that he is well-to-do: he's a serial cheat, makes financial decisions behind her back, lets his 5 sisters treat her anyhow then he defends them, to name a few of their ongoing issues. Women should be careful w| building men from scratch b|c there's no guarantee of his loyalty or respect in return.

My point is; don't say you stuck by someone while he was poor unless you were rich and assisted. If you are poor and he is poor then tell me who is sticking by who.

1x2x3:



You are getting it wrong. I don't care if it is a woman or a man. I answered that question based on the fact it came from a girl and was directed to guys. I expect any reasonable person to do same.

I don't care either. Whichever way it is, it has nothing to do with if the other person offered nothing besides love.

all this yeye topics

its still guys that will tell the first girl not to leave them for a guy who can build them

the idea of a girlfriend while most of you struggle is because of sex

now why can't guys struggle on their own and marry someone who's accomplished as them?

if you find out a girl isn't building herself while you build too, its better you let her go immediately



you guys should take a seat

either as a man or a woman, always date people in your financial class so as to avoid stories that touch in the future, remember that the money that is enticing you today may become what you can spend in a day in the future but you are already far too gone in deep shít. financially okay guys should go for financially okay women so there will be less talk of "I spent everything had on her" even if she leaves you, you will know you didn't lose out same goes to women. broke men should hustle and look for a hustling woman so they can both team up and add something to each other's life. don't go and be looking for wretched girls because you are finding submissive woman when there are submissive ladies that are financially okay

WHY NOT MARRY THEM BOTH?


BUT SERIOUSLY THOUGH IN LIFE YOU GOTTA UNDERSTAND THAT NO ONE OWES YOU SHIIT THAT ENTITLEMENT MENTALITY SHOULD BE KEPT UNDER YOUR BED ANYTHING YOU LIVE YOUR HOUSE IN THE MORNING, THAT WAY YOU DON'T SET YOURSELF UP FOR DISAPPOINTMENT ... PERSONALLY IF MY GIRL LEAVES ME FOR A RICHER NIGGA I DEFINITELY WONT SWEAT IT MATTER OF FACT I'M FVCKING AN OLOSHO THAT SAME EVENING... REMEMBER NO OME OWES YOU SHIIT NEITHER DO YOU OWE ANYONE, TAKE WHATEVER YOU GET AND MOVE ON

Don't accept any girl's financial backup when you don't really love her. I have seen men who latter abandoned their benefactresses and married other girls.

If you do that to my sister or friend, na die be that. If you no like am, no like her money.

Yeah basically she stood by me,

while technically she was standing there adding no value to my life safe for sex.

we dated for 6 yrs when am broke and i end up not getting married to you when the chips sets in?

and now you playing the victim card, calling me out on social media and telling freinds & all those who cared to listen of how i dumped you now that am made.

but you know those 6yrs when i was broke and i tolorated your sh!ts, and you cheated on me, eventhough you said sorry and i forgave you, and even when you claimed you love me, you stil kept flirting behind my back cos am broke and cant meet ur needs.

this is one of the major reasons long term relationship's crash in Nigeria.

if am broke, i wont be thinking about another woman, i would rather be thinking about how to make money to better the present situation.

but when my instinct keep telling me you may love me but right now you might be fantasizing another niggas dick in your mouth.

sorry am kindda drafting, but am tryina pass a message.

Well....what was her contribution to his "now success...."?

Life has no manual. Its a win lose draw ish.

Check out This Video I shot


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZptxsTXW-A&feature=youtu.be

Ok

There is nothing like any misconception about it, sticking to someone should be sticking with someone regardless of when the outcome changes, for a lady to stick to a guy when he had nothing doesn't mean she didn't have other options, she chose to stay because she believed in both of them not just the man same with a man sticking with his woman,

We have cases of people who have been together from a very tender age till adulthood, and at the end, they got married regardless of how rich or poor or stagnant things turned out to be, deep real LOVE supercedes money, appreciate a loved one who stayed despite all else, if you both didn't end up together, compensate him/her to show the person how important he/she was to you.