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You better mind your baby...you have time sef! Hiss

jess2019:
I've been a guest here, just opened an account to get some other people's opinion.

I am married with children, my last child will be 9yrs in a few months and we live outside Nigeria. End of last year I found out I was pregnant. Since then I was having mixed emotional feeling about the pregnancy and starting the journey again after almost 9yrs. Everybody at my work place that knew I was pregnant all kept commenting how my life will change as if i don't already know, some asking what have I done to myself as I was almost done with childcare. Throughout my pregnancy I avoided meeting people and not wanting people talking about my pregnancy. My husband couldn't drive for one year and all my pregnancy I was the one joggling work, kids activities and doing Uber for the whole family, it was a challenging period for me and I questioned why the pregnancy came now my hubby could not even help me run errands . All I can say is that hormone also played its role. I couldn't tell my siblings I was pregnant though I ended up informing my mum and my sister two weeks before I had a baby.
We have some few Nigerian friends here. My husband has a friend and when they wanted to relocate here 18months ago we accommodated them until they rented a house, we are also new here, but came few months before them. So we introduced them to our church and all the Nigerian friends we already have. Though we moved house and stopped attending that church but our friend continued worshipping there.
So when I had my baby my husband sent out messages to everyone. Everyone texted back and some called back, some of the ladies saying they didn't know I was pregnant, some saying they knew all along but ONLY this our family friend and husband that never texted back or called. After a day, my husband call the husband and it rang but he didn't pick so we were thinking they went on vacation. So finally my hubby got the wife on the phone and informed her of the arrival of the baby, she claimed they both didn't see the text, and she stated she didn't know I was pregnant. My husband mentioned she should speak to me, she ignored and kept saying how she saw me at someone's party months ago and was asking me if I was pregnant but I said no, she never asked if I was feeling okay or the hospital we are. To be honest I never told her I wasn't pregnant, she was saying where people were at the party oh you've gained weight, I didn't know u were pregnant and I replied its xmas food, don't worry I will lose it with sarcasm and she said its a lie and we switched topic. It's been 3weeks now both the lady and husband have never congratulated us on the baby or called. It's not like this lady calls me, since February this year, she has never called me or texted me. I was the one that called her few weeks before my delivery and its not like she's more busier than me as she doesn't work at the moment; going through exams before she can start looking for work. So if she didn't even see me at the party in March I wonder what she will hold in saying she asked me if I was pregnant at the party.

This is what I think happened; she must have discussed me with another friend as only these two families are giving us attitude. Funny thing is that we introduced them both as their kids go to the same school. Because this lady is also giving me cold shoulder, since I gave birth it took her one week to call me although she replied my husband's baby delivery text. When she called she was saying I was wrong for not informing people that I was pregnant, that people knew I was pregnant all along. I told her I don't have to call people to inform them I was pregnant that if people come to my house they would have seen me with pregnancy or if our kids attended the same school they would have known. Besides, I was not feeling too excited about the pregnancy so I avoided every discussion relating to it. She mentioned she asked me if I was pregnant a while ago and I responded that pregnancy doesn't hide that she will know if i am, she continued saying since I'm married that it's not a shameful thing- I should have shared the news. I replied her that I cant determine how I feel during pregnancy. She ended with that they will come and visit baby. Though her husband called my husband immediately he got the text and till today they've not visited or followed up.

These two families are closest to us or should I say to my husband. Now my husband is very disappointed with these men (his friends), saying its very petty of them to join their wives in whatever is going on.

Going back to the first friend we accommodated, I still cant believe that people can have this mind after everything we did for them. we were the only people they knew when they were came here. We introduced them to our friends which they kept saying how grateful they were then. We are so hurt that they will go this extreme and just ghost on us. The man has been friends with my hubby since 2014, they both worked in the same place and when we moved here, the husband showed interest and my husband spoke to his manager and also got him a job here.
I only got to relate with the wife when they came here though we all moved from the same country but lived in different state and relationship was between our hubbies. What kind of friend will not talk to you if they feel you have wronged them? I dont see how my decision of not disclosing my pregnancy affected their lives. At least even if you are mad that will not stop you from calling another woman that went into labour and discussing whatever you are not happy with later.
It's not like we told some people and left them out. Other friends here are happy, some saying they knew all along. They've been visiting, bringing food, gifts and calling regularly. All our family members are happy including my mother in-law that got to know on the day baby was born which are even the people that have rights to be angry.

Aunty please
learn how to compose a proper sentence that doesn't frustrate a reader...The whole talk is jam-packed,my head was just turningoninown...The second paragraph is where I had to throw in the towel,cos you kept going back and forth...You won't get any useful advice until you work on your sentences..Keep it brief and simple.

That is human beings for you, don't take it to heart, be happy bcoz you now know who your true friends are. Take care of your new baby and move on

Why are you spending so much energy on what I would consider trivial. Life is not hard just call and break the ice, then invite them to visit baby.

When you were pregnant you hid it from them, the lady straight up asked you and you lied to her face about it, now you are feigning surprise at their attitude and expecting them to identify with you.
“You don’t see how your decision of not disclosing your pregnancy affected their lives” but somehow their decision to keep their distance is affecting yours?

Hmmm

Aunty aunty...

I understand how lonely, stressful and whatnot, life outside Nigeria can be hence, the yearning for buddies or people to relate with and feel closer to home.

This loneliness has pushed so many into regarding mere "passerbys/acquaintances" along life journeys as friends.

"Friends", one of the most bastardized and abused words in the English lexicon.

A true friend won't wait until you take out a newspaper ad to announce your pregnancy to know or go beefing when you fail to announce.

I no know say women dey announce " I don get belle o" strange to me.

Whatever you feel is going on sure runs deeper than your not announcing your pregnancy, this is just a cover for a bigger beef wey no go pass say "she too dey form or Why she dey behave like say she better pass everybody".

In all, jejely cable your lane if you know wetin good for you. All those African churches and gatherings outside Africa na rumor mills and how to envy or bring one another down dem dey propagate there.

Belle no dey hide himself....

You are extremely secretive and petty. Same goes for your hubby. The friends you claimed ignored you are obviously too busy to care, and here you are whining like a toddler. Get busy madam and don't look back!

Don't you think you are over stressing yourself on trivial issues like this.
Be grateful that you had your baby successfully, be grateful that your family is cool, be grateful that some friends care, be grateful that you assisted her once upon a time.
Channel your energy to other thing rather than waiting for individual recognition.

So far what i read here is about you complaining of someone that doesn't visit you after you gave birth. I still dont understand this trash. Is your husband friend the father of your new born baby... Why taking it personal when they don't come visiting after your delivery.

nifemi25:
So far what i read here is about you complaining of someone that doesn't visit you after you gave birth. I still dont understand this trash. Is your husband friend the father of your new born baby... Why taking it personal when they don't come visiting after your delivery.

I wouldn't mind if they dont visit but atleast reply a text or call. They're the only people that didn't reply a text when my hubby announced the birth of our baby.

daddytime:
Hmmm

Aunty aunty...

I understand how lonely, stressful and whatnot, life outside Nigeria can be hence, the yearning for buddies or people to relate with and feel closer to me.

This loneliness has pushed so many into regarding mere "passerbys/acquaintances" along life journeys as friends.

"Friends", one of the most bastardized and abused words in the English lexicon.

A true friend won't wait until you take out a newspaper ad to announce your pregnancy to know or go beefing when you fail to announce.

I no know say women dey announce " I don get belle o" strange to me.

Whatever you feel is going on sure runs deeper than your not announcing your pregnancy, this is just a cover for a bigger beef wey no go pass say "she too dey form or Why she dey behave like say she better pass everybody".

In all, jejely cable your lane if you know wetin good for you. All those African churches and gatherings outside Africa na rumor mills and how to envy or bring one another down dem dey propagate there.

Belle no dey hide himself....

Food for thought.

elektra:
Why are you spending so much energy on what I would consider trivial. Life is not hard just call and break the ice, then invite them to visit baby.

When you were pregnant you hid it from them, the lady straight up asked you and you lied to her face about it, now you are feigning surprise at their attitude and expecting them to identify with you.
“You don’t see how your decision of not disclosing your pregnancy affected their lives” but somehow their decision to keep their distance is affecting yours?

We sent text to everyone and the husband and wife didn't reply. My husband called them and informed the wife. How else am I supposed to announce my pregnancy, If she had visited me or ran into me will my pregnancy hide itself? Besides I never called anyone to announce my pregnancy, I see no reason why I should do this. All the mums in my kids school and their extracurricular activities all saw my protruding tummy and knew I was pregnant.
Yes am a private person. I expect people to respect other people's privacy. I wouldn't get angry if someone didn't tell me they are pregnant

You get energy to dey reason all dis kind matter? Woman stay away from TOXIC PEOPLE.....You're already becoming TOXIC

Hi Jessica.. You're such a good writer. I think you should start writing a book, then some others can help you proofread. Actually the whole story is quite lengthy especially when there aren't too coherent and saying whole sentences in another twist. Just forge ahead with your life and leave those that doesn't care about you behind

I am still wondering what the heck is going on

You wrote all this because they never texted back after all you did for them. Nigerian gossips dey hungry you big time. Loneliness dey waya you and the best place to feel good is here with your fellow Nigerians.

Don't worry ma'am. We will analyse and dissect them for you, select the guilty and drycleaned them so you can feel good. You might as well come back so we can iron out their outrageous behavior physically.
Until then please mind ya family.

Ignore them please.
focus your energy on the new baby and your family...
I'm not a fan of 'announcing' a pregnancy...I didn't even tell my own mother of my pregnancy until I was far far along...
A true friend won't mind and see things from your angle.
A friend of mine gave birth sometimes ago, she didn't let me know(the baby was for her ex, whom she vowed never to go back to), I kept on calling and talking normally, even if I had heard she was expecting a baby...but I know after 9 months, she won't hide it..I intentionally didn't travel out of my state to see her cos I didn't want to embarrass her further.. She eventually gave birth and call me crying she knew I'd have scolded her cos I had told her that the guy was coming back to her, bla bla bla... But throughout her pregnancy, never did a week pass and we didn't talk

But she jokingly asked if you were pregnant and you jokingly told her no it is Christmas food.



You guys are just jokingly angry with each other

you have time o
.how is this a problem?.. let everyone face their business... all this I told this one and this one....who cares?

I perfectly understand how you and they feel. You're feeling deserted now while they felt distanced from you when you didn't share the news of your pregnancy. Funnily, despite coming from a background where women are supposed to be quiet about the news of their pregnancies, friends still expect to share this amongst themselves. You know all the belly rubbing, listening to the baby's moves, etc...we love it. In fact, they might have helped you cope better with the pregnancy if you had shared, especially since they thought they were your friends.

Anyways, since it apparently bothers so so much, call the girls and discuss it. Let them know how you felt about the whole pregnancy thing, hence the reason you hid it. And ask them to come kiss the baby...no one can resist that. You really don't need a simple thing like this ruining relationships. Congrats and good luck.

I know this feeling . Looks like you haven't been betrayed before, ignore them and don't ever call, text, or congratulate them again

Let me tell you ignore this your so called friends and mind your baby you even have time to think about them you should have known better that when you introduce friends to each other they we use you as topic to bond their friendship and some friends and some family members are ingrate irrespective of what you sacrifice for them if I tell you my own story about how do called friends hang up against me you will cry for me
My advice to you is don't hold any grudge against them let everything go but don't give them any chance to come in to your life again,if you happen to see them say hello and bye at the same time

I am married with children, my last child will be 9yrs in a few months and we live outside Nigeria. End of last year I found out I was pregnant. Since then I was having mixed emotional feeling about the pregnancy and starting the journey again after almost 9yrs. Everybody at my work place that knew I was pregnant all kept commenting how my life will change as if i don't already know, some asking what have I done to myself as I was almost done with childcare. Throughout my pregnancy I avoided meeting people and not wanting people talking about my pregnancy. My husband couldn't drive for one year and all my pregnancy I was the one joggling work, kids activities and doing Uber for the whole family, it was a challenging period for me and I questioned why the pregnancy came now my hubby could not even help me run errands . All I can say is that hormone also played its role. I couldn't tell my siblings I was pregnant though I ended up informing my mum and my sister two weeks before I had a baby.
We have some few Nigerian friends here. My husband has a friend and when they wanted to relocate here 18months ago we accommodated them until they rented a house, we are also new here, but came few months before them. So we introduced them to our church and all the Nigerian friends we already have. Though we moved house and stopped attending that church but our friend continued worshipping there.
So when I had my baby my husband sent out messages to everyone. Everyone texted back and some called back, some of the ladies saying they didn't know I was pregnant, some saying they knew all along but ONLY this our family friend and husband that never texted back or called. After a day, my husband call the husband and it rang but he didn't pick so we were thinking they went on vacation. So finally my hubby got the wife on the phone and informed her of the arrival of the baby, she claimed they both didn't see the text, and she stated she didn't know I was pregnant. My husband mentioned she should speak to me, she ignored and kept saying how she saw me at someone's party months ago and was asking me if I was pregnant but I said no, she never asked if I was feeling okay or the hospital we are. To be honest I never told her I wasn't pregnant, she was saying where people were at the party oh you've gained weight, I didn't know u were pregnant and I replied its xmas food, don't worry I will lose it with sarcasm and she said its a lie and we switched topic. It's been 3weeks now both the lady and husband have never congratulated us on the baby or called. It's not like this lady calls me, since February this year, she has never called me or texted me. I was the one that called her few weeks before my delivery and its not like she's more busier than me as she doesn't work at the moment; going through exams before she can start looking for work. So if she didn't even see me at the party in March I wonder what she will hold in saying she asked me if I was pregnant at the party.

This is what I think happened; she must have discussed me with another friend as only these two families are giving us attitude. Funny thing is that we introduced them both as their kids go to the same school. Because this lady is also giving me cold shoulder, since I gave birth it took her one week to call me although she replied my husband's baby delivery text. When she called she was saying I was wrong for not informing people that I was pregnant, that people knew I was pregnant all along. I told her I don't have to call people to inform them I was pregnant that if people come to my house they would have seen me with pregnancy or if our kids attended the same school they would have known. Besides, I was not feeling too excited about the pregnancy so I avoided every discussion relating to it. She mentioned she asked me if I was pregnant a while ago and I responded that pregnancy doesn't hide that she will know if i am, she continued saying since I'm married that it's not a shameful thing- I should have shared the news. I replied her that I cant determine how I feel during pregnancy. She ended with that they will come and visit baby. Though her husband called my husband immediately he got the text and till today they've not visited or followed up.

These two families are closest to us or should I say to my husband. Now my husband is very disappointed with these men (his friends), saying its very petty of them to join their wives in whatever is going on.

Going back to the first friend we accommodated, I still cant believe that people can have this mind after everything we did for them. we were the only people they knew when they were came here. We introduced them to our friends which they kept saying how grateful they were then. We are so hurt that they will go this extreme and just ghost on us. The man has been friends with my hubby since 2014, they both worked in the same place and when we moved here, the husband showed interest and my husband spoke to his manager and also got him a job here.
I only got to relate with the wife when they came here though we all moved from the same country but lived in different state and relationship was between our hubbies. What kind of friend will not talk to you if they feel you have wronged them? I dont see how my decision of not disclosing my pregnancy affected their lives. At least even if you are mad that will not stop you from calling another woman that went into labour and discussing whatever you are not happy with later.
It's not like we told some people and left them out. Other friends here are happy, some saying they knew all along. They've been visiting, bringing food, gifts and calling regularly. All our family members are happy including my mother in-law that got to know on the day baby was born which are even the people that have rights to be angry.

[/quote]

[quote author=Tosinex post=80445082]Hi Jessica.. You're such a good writer. I think you should start writing a book, then some others can help you proofread. Actually the whole story is quite lengthy especially when there aren't too coherent and saying whole sentences in another twist. Just forge ahead with your life and leave those that doesn't care about you behind [/quote
]

sorry tried to include the whole scenario and this was all written with one hand.

jess2019:
"When she called she was saying I was wrong for not informing people that I was pregnant, that people knew I was pregnant all along. I told her I don't have to call people to inform them I was pregnant that if people come to my house they would have seen me with pregnancy or if our kids attended the same school they would have known. Besides, I was not feeling too excited about the pregnancy so I avoided every discussion relating to it. She mentioned she asked me if I was pregnant a while ago and I responded that pregnancy doesn't hide that she will know if i am, she continued saying since I'm married that it's not a shameful thing- I should have shared the news. I replied her that I cant determine how I feel during pregnancy

Yes, you were wrong, OP.

She asked if you were pregnant on several occasions [at the party, for instance] and you never once gave her a direct answer but chose to be continuously vague with your replies. When she called, you could've talked things out on the phone and admitted that you didn't tell her or give her a straight reply that you were pregnant, but you were still being rude, vague, and quite frankly, DISHONEST with your response. Communicating w| someone like you can be draining b|c you don't admit your fault easily.

jess2019:
What kind of friend will not talk to you if they feel you have wronged them? I dont see how my decision of not disclosing my pregnancy affected their lives. At least even if you are mad that will not stop you from calling another woman that went into labour and discussing whatever you are not happy with later.
It's not like we told some people and left them out.

Why would she call you again or visit you when you were rude the last time she called? You're the one who pushed her away w| the way you handled this whole thing. You treated her badly and acted like you didn't care about the friendship, so it's understandable that she would pull away.

They are not mature enough to understand that you don't keep grudges for long with people you are used to.

@op I am actually very disappointed in you, I cannot imagine that someone at that age is bothered about friends and what they say...

They do not pay your bills, you do not eat in their house ?

Must you have friends? If someone does not care or reach out to you, is it too difficult to just ghost them too and move on ?

You need to learn to be independent and derive joy and happiness from your own company and that of your family, how do you want to raise your children if you are this panicky because a group of some friends are not checking up on you ?

You sound like someone who draws strength from getting attention but at that age, you need to grow past that.

You have to learn to deal with life by yourself regardless if you have friends or not, you have got a wonderful family so focus on that.

Let me tell you a story, when I moved to a new country early this year, I was hosted by a couple who I guess I disappointed them through no fault of mine , its a long story.

Anyway, since I arrived at their place and they realised the issue the wife had become cold and I was given just 2 weeks to find a place to stay, but I was really very grateful and always reached out to the husband to ask after him when I left their place after 2 weeks.

But I noticed that for months the husband would not check up on me and when I asked after him and the wife he barely responded, but I was just indebted in my mind cos they housed me for 2 weeks so I'd continue to check up on them.

Then one day I made up my mind that I was done reaching out, for months I did not even check up on them, I just focused on my job, now the husband chats me occasionally and he even invited me for a lunch which I declined last week.

Moral of the story is that, you need to learn to survive alone, I am here alone I do not even have a family unlike you that have your family around you.

In summary, @op grow up.

elektra:
Why are you spending so much energy on what I would consider trivial. Life is not hard just call and break the ice, then invite them to visit baby.

When you were pregnant you hid it from them, the lady straight up asked you and you lied to her face about it, now you are feigning surprise at their attitude and expecting them to identify with you.
“You don’t see how your decision of not disclosing your pregnancy affected their lives” but somehow their decision to keep their distance is affecting yours?

+1. If her decision of not disclosing her pregnancy shouldn't affect their lives, as she says, then them keeping their distance shouldn't affect hers/OP's, but funny enough she's the one who is bothered now b|c the woman has kept her distance. She lied to the woman's face and was still dishonest thereafter. The woman isn't at fault; OP is and should be the one to apologize and make amends if she still wants the friendship.

theButterfly:
+1. If her decision of not disclosing her pregnancy shouldn't affect their lives, as she says, then them keeping their distance shouldn't affect hers/OP's, but funny enough she's the one who is bothered now b|c the woman has kept her distance. She lied to the woman's face and was still dishonest thereafter. The woman isn't at fault; OP is and should be the one to apologize and make amends if she still wants the friendship.

There is no fault anywhere, the OP is not obligated to disclose her pregnancy status even if it was obvious...
It is her prerogative, the only issue is just that OP seems to be someone that cannot survive in her own space, she needs attention.

calgaryFriend:

There is no fault anywhere, the OP is not obligated to disclose her pregnancy status even if it was obvious...
It is her prerogative, the only issue is just that OP seems to be someone that cannot survive in her own space, she needs attention.

That's not true. I dont need attention or validation from anyone. I don't make friends easily and I prefer friendship from a distance. My life is so busy that I do not even have time to visit people. I rest on my day off and prefer staying indoor than going out. I opened this thread to find out if I was wrong and if people can react to this extreme just because they are not specifically informed about someone's pregnancy. I wouldn't be opening this thread if this is just between us ladies but the husband also extended it to my hubby and ghosted him. He didn't reply his text or call him back.

jess2019:


That's not true. I dont need attention or validation from anyone. I don't make friends easily and I prefer friendship from a distance. My life is so busy that I do not even have time to visit people. I rest on my day off and prefer staying indoor than going out. I opened this thread to find out if I was wrong and if people can react to this extreme just because they are not specifically informed about someone's pregnancy. I wouldn't be opening this thread if this is just between us ladies but the husband also extended it to my hubby and ghosted him. He didn't reply his text or call him back.

Alright, but you should know humans are the most unpredictable in this world, what is their business if you did not mention your pregnancy to them.
The way and manner they sounded entitled about you not letting them know about the pregnancy seems you have sold your self a little too cheap to them in the past.

Because regardless of how close people are there still should be mutual respect and privacy, I dont see that here.

[quote author=jess2019 post=80447986][/quote]ohh I see. Just try and be fine and stay away from toxic people!

You’re pained, it’s understandable.

You had expectations of loyalty, friendship and continuity that’s why you’re disappointed.

Well, you shouldn’t have such expectations of people.

Even when you do good, do it without expecting a reward from men.

Avoid petty and negative people. Face your husband, family and work. Relate to people on the basis they relate with you.

All the best.

jess2019:
I've been a guest here, just opened an account to get some other people's opinion.

I am married with children, my last child will be 9yrs in a few months and we live outside Nigeria. End of last year I found out I was pregnant. Since then I was having mixed emotional feeling about the pregnancy and starting the journey again after almost 9yrs. Everybody at my work place that knew I was pregnant all kept commenting how my life will change as if i don't already know, some asking what have I done to myself as I was almost done with childcare. Throughout my pregnancy I avoided meeting people and not wanting people talking about my pregnancy. My husband couldn't drive for one year and all my pregnancy I was the one joggling work, kids activities and doing Uber for the whole family, it was a challenging period for me and I questioned why the pregnancy came now my hubby could not even help me run errands . All I can say is that hormone also played its role. I couldn't tell my siblings I was pregnant though I ended up informing my mum and my sister two weeks before I had a baby.
We have some few Nigerian friends here. My husband has a friend and when they wanted to relocate here 18months ago we accommodated them until they rented a house, we are also new here, but came few months before them. So we introduced them to our church and all the Nigerian friends we already have. Though we moved house and stopped attending that church but our friend continued worshipping there.
So when I had my baby my husband sent out messages to everyone. Everyone texted back and some called back, some of the ladies saying they didn't know I was pregnant, some saying they knew all along but ONLY this our family friend and husband that never texted back or called. After a day, my husband call the husband and it rang but he didn't pick so we were thinking they went on vacation. So finally my hubby got the wife on the phone and informed her of the arrival of the baby, she claimed they both didn't see the text, and she stated she didn't know I was pregnant. My husband mentioned she should speak to me, she ignored and kept saying how she saw me at someone's party months ago and was asking me if I was pregnant but I said no, she never asked if I was feeling okay or the hospital we are. To be honest I never told her I wasn't pregnant, she was saying where people were at the party oh you've gained weight, I didn't know u were pregnant and I replied its xmas food, don't worry I will lose it with sarcasm and she said its a lie and we switched topic. It's been 3weeks now both the lady and husband have never congratulated us on the baby or called. It's not like this lady calls me, since February this year, she has never called me or texted me. I was the one that called her few weeks before my delivery and its not like she's more busier than me as she doesn't work at the moment; going through exams before she can start looking for work. So if she didn't even see me at the party in March I wonder what she will hold in saying she asked me if I was pregnant at the party.

This is what I think happened; she must have discussed me with another friend as only these two families are giving us attitude. Funny thing is that we introduced them both as their kids go to the same school. Because this lady is also giving me cold shoulder, since I gave birth it took her one week to call me although she replied my husband's baby delivery text. When she called she was saying I was wrong for not informing people that I was pregnant, that people knew I was pregnant all along. I told her I don't have to call people to inform them I was pregnant that if people come to my house they would have seen me with pregnancy or if our kids attended the same school they would have known. Besides, I was not feeling too excited about the pregnancy so I avoided every discussion relating to it. She mentioned she asked me if I was pregnant a while ago and I responded that pregnancy doesn't hide that she will know if i am, she continued saying since I'm married that it's not a shameful thing- I should have shared the news. I replied her that I cant determine how I feel during pregnancy. She ended with that they will come and visit baby. Though her husband called my husband immediately he got the text and till today they've not visited or followed up.

These two families are closest to us or should I say to my husband. Now my husband is very disappointed with these men (his friends), saying its very petty of them to join their wives in whatever is going on.

Going back to the first friend we accommodated, I still cant believe that people can have this mind after everything we did for them. we were the only people they knew when they were came here. We introduced them to our friends which they kept saying how grateful they were then. We are so hurt that they will go this extreme and just ghost on us. The man has been friends with my hubby since 2014, they both worked in the same place and when we moved here, the husband showed interest and my husband spoke to his manager and also got him a job here.
I only got to relate with the wife when they came here though we all moved from the same country but lived in different state and relationship was between our hubbies. What kind of friend will not talk to you if they feel you have wronged them? I dont see how my decision of not disclosing my pregnancy affected their lives. At least even if you are mad that will not stop you from calling another woman that went into labour and discussing whatever you are not happy with later.
It's not like we told some people and left them out. Other friends here are happy, some saying they knew all along. They've been visiting, bringing food, gifts and calling regularly. All our family members are happy including my mother in-law that got to know on the day baby was born which are even the people that have rights to be angry.
Thanks for reading through the long epistle. Sorry typing with one hand.