As young boy I lost my mum at the age of six, put up with my grandma, lost contact with my father for close to19 years until I have to go look for him myself.

Growing up with my grandmum was not easy at all, I will have to hawk beans cake popularly knowns as akara in the morning before going to school hence I was a perpetual late comer all through my primary and secondary school days until I stopped while in SS 1,

Its took the effort of my grandma for me to have secondary school education as I was abandoned and look down on by my uncles and auties.

So attaining university education was totally out of the plan.

I grew up without love as a one man mopol or something worse which is really affecting my relationship, lest I forgot my sister fell sick and due to lack of support from family I lost her and we were just two our mum had.

Am a grown up man now and my relationship with people is being affected, thanks to my rugged upbringing, I have this strong feeling there is nobody I cannot do without, it makes me so unemotional towards opposite sex and many issues of life.

My ex call to tell me its over between us, my response was OK I have heard you without asking any question and I felt nothing, not as if I don't love her, immediately she said so, one spirit in me just whispered to me , hey there is nobody you can't live without, you have lost the most important people in your life who is she?

A months later she call to rant on how am not human, how am suppose to ask why she said so and blablabla.

I don't seems to take this serious at all.

I approach a lady we got talking but she was forming hard to get, I just delete her from my mind we still bump on each on the road, I joke with her, we laugh but I never ask her out again. After some months she call to tell me I was not serious about it at the first place that I would have persist in asking her out that she likes me already the first day I ask her out. The problem I have is that I lose interest in things so easily.

Can I ever change or fall in love and remain in love for a long time?

Any lady will kill to have a guy with these traits. It shows you know want you want. No time for mind games.

Thank God your rough upbringing did not turn you into a miscreant. Rather i perceive it has made you stronger and you've turned out just fine.

Apus:
Bros let us swap emotions. I wan turn hard guy for relationship matter.

I never trained myself to be like this brother, maybe things I have been through affected my emotion.

I can assure you that you will. And when it happens, it will be so intense that you’ll think you cannot live without the person. It may be a soulmate, child or even a religious figure. But since you know it’s a shortcoming, why not begin to make deliberate efforts to address it?

You should be happy you have this thick skin. The world is a very unfair place to live in. People will deal with you and move on like nothing happened. One can only survive if one can do away with these emotions. Bro I think you are good.

It's called a psychopath. People who don't express emotions. Such people are capable of causing harm to others without feeling guilty, it's not a good trait especially if you're a Christian

its called pride bro

that's where am at

You lost your mum and your sister,

You grew up alone...

You are a one man mopol.

Your relationship with people is affected,

But somehow, you highlighted and dwelled on the one directed at females.

You know you have a problem, don't let anyone deceive you.

You won't realize how much you have pursued everyone that wants to show you genuine care, till it's (too) late.

While at it, you will convince yourself they really do not care. Because that is what people like you do, blame everyone but themselves.

The only seemingly good thing about this trait is, you process everything with logic. Even love/relationships. So, it is really hard to feel real hurt or heartbreak. E pain you small, you move on... otan!

Good news is, people like you can love, when they eventually do o. Though they may have trouble expressing it, because they are not even used to expressing themselves...

What's the problem ? I cant see any problem here, you're just someone who doesn't have time for BS and knows what he wants, that's not psychopath that's just being straight forward and not having times for games. You are alright you might have to leave space for relationships because they are beneficial in terms of networking and stuff. The whole world into feelings management , everyone wants everyone to be happy for no reason. Which is not realistic life is hard, there's no pretending to feel what you dont. Live on my brother you have no problems to me as far as I am concerned

pocohantas:
You lost your mum and your sister,

You grew up alone...

You are a one man mopol.

Your relationship with people is affected,

But somehow, you highlighted and dwelled on the one directed at females.

You know you have a problem, don't let anyone deceive you.

You won't realize how much you have pursued everyone that wants to show you genuine care, till it's (too) late.

While at it, you will convince yourself they really do not care. Because that is what people like you do, blame everyone but themselves.

The only seemingly good thing about this trait is, you process everything with logic. Even love/relationships. So, it is really hard to feel real hurt or heartbreak. E pain you small, you move on... otan!

Good news is, people like you can love, when they eventually do o. Though they may have trouble expressing it, because they are not even used to expressing themselves...

The queen of positivity , how you dey babe ?

I'm kind of like that, I do miss people but sometimes my pride makes me chose to lose them instead of trying to plead with them to be in my life. Apart from my parents, siblings, kids (and wife) everyone else is dispensable. That's just the way I am. I've always taken break ups in good faith, though I do feel emotional but I never go back, except they come back begging.

pcguru1:


The queen of positivity , how you dey babe ?

I am fine , you? Happy Sunday.

If its giving you reasons for concerns then maybe its time you work on it. Don't sweep it under the rugs anymore.

Contrary to public opinion, everyone needs someone. Whether we choose to admit it or not doesn't change that fact either. Aftermaths of traumatic experiences comes in varying form,this is yours and whatever you do with it is all on you.

nigeriagospel:
As young boy I lost my mum at the age of six, put up with my grandma, lost contact with my father for close to19 years until I have to go look for him myself.

Growing up with my grandmum was not easy at all, I will have to hawk beans cake popularly knowns as akara in the morning before going to school hence I was a perpetual late comer all through my primary and secondary school days until I stopped while in SS 1,

Its took the effort of my grandma for me to have secondary school education as I was abandoned and look down on by my uncles and auties.

So attaining university education was totally out of the plan.

I grew up without love as a one man mopol or something worse which is really affecting my relationship, lest I forgot my sister fell sick and due to lack of support from family I lost her and we were just two our mum had.

Am a grown up man now and my relationship with people is being affected, thanks to my rugged upbringing, I have this strong feeling there is nobody I cannot do without, it makes me so unemotional towards opposite sex and many issues of life.

My ex call to tell me its over between us, my response was OK I have heard you without asking any question and I felt nothing, not as if I don't love her, immediately she said so, one spirit in me just whispered to me , hey there is nobody you can't live without, you have lost the most important people in your life who is she?

A months later she call to rant on how am not human, how am suppose to ask why she said so and blablabla.

I don't seems to take this serious at all.

I approach a lady we got talking but she was forming hard to get, I just delete her from my mind we still bump on each on the road, I joke with her, we laugh but I never ask her out again. After some months she call to tell me I was not serious about it at the first place that I would have persist in asking her out that she likes me already the first day I ask her out. The problem I have is that I lose interest in things so easily.

Can I ever change or fall in love and remain in love for a long time?

Happiness comes with a price and the price us relating with people

Change your mind set before you get married

Start now to have human feelings and a good loving heart towards people

If you don't treat people with love and care, if you open a business nobody will come there twice because you don't know how to keep customers

If you have a girl friend with this attitude of solo life, you will keep remaining sad because non will stay long with you

your forming hard man will lead you to lonely part both in your youth and old age

Your wife and children will not relate with you as expected

Whatever that happens to your upbringing is over now

Don't use your past to frustrate your future

If you think you can make a forest then you will be cut off for the land to be use for cultivation because one tree can't make a forest