If she cannot take the decision of focusing on only you, then there is no reason for you to continue the relationship with her oh... Just be a man bruv

justine94:
My Gf of Almost 3 years, her Ex still calls her anytime he likes even though not Frequently, she once told me she felt bad about him that he did nothing to her, she so much believe him to an extent he calls her to tell her things that he Dreamt about her life.

She says most of his Dreams comes to Past while they were Dating then. When she went back to school, she told me he called her to come see him but she declined.

I know she loves me very much, she has proven it to me beyond any reasonable doubt but she still has a Soft Spots for her Ex.

Its making us have issues most times. Of recent i saw a dialled log of her ex on her phone. She said she wanted to check on him. It weakened me alot.

But she said it was nothing, even though the ex is actually helping her kid bro for his admission. She claims she only called to tell him that the brother has written his PUME exams...

When i look at her, I have this feeling she still have a soft spot for her ex..i told her can she see her ex call and not pick it up, she could not ansa. I asked her if she still loves him, she could not ansa, she only tell me she cant go back to him, that she loves me..

I know she won't go back to him, but i know this to be sure she still have a Soft spots for her ex..and her ex knows this very well, so he calls her anytime he likes knowing fully well he knows how to talk to her for her to listen.

Anything he tells her she believes him, notwithstanding, anytime he calls her ,she tells me that he called her, am just confused.. I have already told her i cant continue again becuase i cant continue to hurt my self....

Please i need advice

Am ex remains an ex, you don't know the level of the closeness before they separated

She might be close to him, which might lead to intimacy or not

If she loves you as you claim, she will respect your relationship


They are communicating because of her brothers admission and I think you need to give her time

If after he gains admission and they are still glued to each other, then let her know that you guys need a break so that she can tell the other guy that she wants to focus in her relationship

But is she the one you want to marry or just dating

I don't want you to put her in a tight corner

Thats wat i plan doing...waiting for the whole admission tin to end

frozen70:


Am ex remains an ex, you don't know the level of the closeness before they separated

She might be close to him, which might lead to intimacy or not

If she loves you as you claim, she will respect your relationship


They are communicating because of her brothers admission and I think you need to give her time

If after he gains admission and they are still glued to each other, then let her know that you guys need a break so that she can tell the other guy that she wants to focus in her relationship

But is she the one you want to marry or just dating

I don't want you to put her in a tight corner

Its making us have issues most times. Of recent i saw a dialled log of her ex on her phone. She said she wanted to check on him. It weakened me alot.

Oga that nigga don de re dig the hole he left there before ooo again your own don finish

So you think you trust her she is banging that guy never you ever trust any gal especially when you have not married her even married people sometimes cheat

Hahaha oga your emotion is just being played with

Love love na lie notin like love oo you guys are just infactuated

Love is about caring bout other feeling and giving then why is she doing it to make you feel bad

pls don't mind ppl calling a sisi and an insecure fellow. Good women are hard to find these days, if u have found one, don't give up on them because of few shortcomings. Sit her down and have a make or mar discussion with her. if shes worth it, then fight for her love till the point that she will build her world around you leaving no space for anyone to penetrate. I am getting married in two weeks and ppl see us as the sweetest couple on earth, only if they knew what we have been through in the relationship. just like u, some guy came around at some point and was messing with her head, I was gonna walk away, she begged me to stay so yes I did, we worked on our relationship and we are the happiest beings on earth now. I wish you all the best.

kingkakaone:

True.
But if I'm the guy I won't even feel pained or jealous self.
My mind would just be on his help part.
I don't even know the feeling of jealousy or whatever self.

I would just thank the guy for his help and stay on my lane.

The op is unknownly pushing her towards d ex

mayim:
pls don't mind ppl calling a sisi and an insecure fellow. Good women are hard to find these days, if u have found one, don't give up on them because of few shortcomings. Sit her down and have a make or mar discussion with her. if shes worth it, then fight for her love till the point that she will build her world around you leaving no space for anyone to penetrate. I am getting married in two weeks and ppl see us as the sweetest couple on earth, only if they knew what we have been through in the relationship. just like u, some guy came around at some point and was messing with her head, I was gonna walk away, she begged me to stay so yes I did, we worked on our relationship and we are the happiest beings on earth now. I wish you all the best.

Advise him to work on his relationship. Ordinary calls from ex, he wanna jump ship.

justine94:
Babe am not saying am her alpha or omega..trust me i dont track..over secure any girl i date..i aws give freedom and leverage..its just this guts am having and she knows it..i can see it...

Haaa, if you can see it, too bad. But when seeing it, don't be the force to push or lure her towards that direction. I pray everything works out for u guys.

justine94:
Babe am not saying am her alpha or omega..trust me i dont track..over secure any girl i date..i aws give freedom and leverage..its just this guts am having and she knows it..i can see it...

Guy if you can tell yourself the truth, you are jealous. It's natural, it shows she mean something to you. To me it's not an issue since you are not her husband yet, just get yourself distracted for a while since you can attest for her love for you.
But arm yourself with the fact that humans are unreliable. Forget her Ex, just be you because there is certainly what you are that her Ex is not.

AwkaetitiBabe:
Advise him to work on his relationship. Ordinary calls from ex, he wanna jump ship.

exactly, it's however a question of dedication and loyalty. ppl think love is just one mushy mushy feeling, love is commitment, it is work. u wont always be Hot, u wont always feel attracted, some parties will come and want to drift you and your partner apart, u do not just jump ship, u make it work, that's real love.

AwkaetitiBabe:
The op was the one pumping her for information. He know she cannot go back to the said ex so why get worked up? Some men think because you dating them, they should be your alpha and omega, things don't work like that. This Op girlfriend might simply be on contact with d said ex because of her brother's admission. And if she cut ties now, I know say this Op no go fit run d admission thing for her brother o.
The op should guard his insecurities.

Are you not a guy?

From.your replies hen ure looking for someone to tell u to still keep her with a cogent reason to back it up buh truth be told if you go on if u go on ure definitely not gon like the outcome

My head is filled up right now..she has been begging me all day..saying she has bin over her ex for a long time..even.dat d only tin mkin dem comm is d bro admsn. With all truth....she has paid her dues in terms of wat to expect from a reasonable lady in any relationship..be it time..dedication etc..i can say to an extent the guy has not bin sleeping with her..because he stays far away in Ph she lives here in lagos and so do i..but she schools in owerri,final year to be precise .am not saying i trust her completely..but i kn wats she capable of doing..and shes not good with lying..and like i said anytime the ex calls her..she often tell me abt..my judgement is not clouded here..am just saying she has given me many reasons not to give up on her...aside the ex tin..we hardly have issues of infidelity.jst normal light relationship quarrels we settle again..this is the only one we do have once in a while especially wen the ex calls her..and start telling her tins

justine94:
My Gf of Almost 3 years, her Ex still calls her anytime he likes even though not Frequently, she once told me she felt bad about him that he did nothing to her, she so much believe him to an extent he calls her to tell her things that he Dreamt about her life.

She says most of his Dreams comes to Past while they were Dating then. When she went back to school, she told me he called her to come see him but she declined.

I know she loves me very much, she has proven it to me beyond any reasonable doubt but she still has a Soft Spots for her Ex.

Its making us have issues most times. Of recent i saw a dialled log of her ex on her phone. She said she wanted to check on him. It weakened me alot.

But she said it was nothing, even though the ex is actually helping her kid bro for his admission. She claims she only called to tell him that the brother has written his PUME exams...

When i look at her, I have this feeling she still have a soft spot for her ex..i told her can she see her ex call and not pick it up, she could not ansa. I asked her if she still loves him, she could not ansa, she only tell me she cant go back to him, that she loves me..

I know she won't go back to him, but i know this to be sure she still have a Soft spots for her ex..and her ex knows this very well, so he calls her anytime he likes knowing fully well he knows how to talk to her for her to listen.

Anything he tells her she believes him, notwithstanding, anytime he calls her ,she tells me that he called her, am just confused.. I have already told her i cant continue again becuase i cant continue to hurt my self....

Please i need advice

My ex still calls me and always chat me up when I'm online, she is married. If it is ordinary calls, there is no problem with that but if they are seeing each other.... My brother find your way out of the relationship.

Thats wat i dnt av against her ..she tells me shes not seeing him in any way..but wat if he comes looking for her can she stand her ground..thats the tin..i dondt want to loose her just lk dat..she has promised not to pick his calls again...i give ladies freedom alot..dats why she do pick his call knwin fully well if she tells me abt it i wont complain abt her ex callin her..since it most times abt her broda admsn..but i jst feel the guy is using it a meduim to play mind games with her..since he once dated her..he still knows how to talk to her..i feel its high time i put a stop to dat..she has even caled my mom and sis to beg me..because dey both knw her as my gf..but i dont want to be a fool and pretend lk its perfect.

mauricej99:

My ex still calls me and always chat me up when I'm online, she is married. If it is ordinary calls, there is no problem with that but if they are seeing each other.... My brother find your way out of the relationship.

AwkaetitiBabe:
As long as I am confident that he loves me and can't go back to his ex, I'll leave matter. I won't be bugging him about her always. Personally I detest stress abeg, if he's helping her, fine.

True sha, same here but not alot of people can handle it, anybody that wants to leave will leave, even if you treat them well. �

ArcSEMPECJ:
Nothing concerns you and the ex guy ... . you are now in her life, determine how you run it or she may one day get tired of your anxious moods. And decide to leave both of you for a mature mind.....

Let the guy be calling her, . ..give her the freedom she deserves, love what she loves , even invite the guy over for a drink .. ...

Then watch how she will lose her love for the guy..

You mentioned that the ex helps her bro with his admission.. .hope you are equally trying in that aspect. ..

justine94:
My head is filled up right now..she has been begging me all day..saying she has bin over her ex for a long time..even.dat d only tin mkin dem comm is d bro admsn. With all truth....she has paid her dues in terms of wat to expect from a reasonable lady in any relationship..be it time..dedication etc..i can say to an extent the guy has not bin sleeping with her..because he stays far away in Ph she lives here in lagos and so do i..but she schools in owerri,final year to be precise .am not saying i trust her completely..but i kn wats she capable of doing..and shes not good with lying..and like i said anytime the ex calls her..she often tell me abt..my judgement is not clouded here..am just saying she has given me many reasons not to give up on her...aside the ex tin..we hardly have issues of infidelity.jst normal light relationship quarrels we settle again..this is the only one we do have once in a while especially wen the ex calls her..and start telling her tins

Trust nobody... Now trying connecting your exes ,rub it on her face and see how she will react.. That ex will bang her one day ,even when you marry her.. That her ex has done more than you are doing now,you need to step up.. Bro be wise.. Go put on the traits of Alfa male,she will stop those those bullshit s,and won't wanna loose you.. If she is really a good woman as you claimed,she will respect you bro. Talking to an ex is totally unacceptable in any relationship,it brings about cheating.. Conclusively ...The ex na lecturer wen dey help the younger bro for admission? Must the helper be her ex? Can't you look for someone else to help in the admissions process.. The admission stuff is to divert you attention ,so that you believe nothing is happening between them. Remember Owerri no too far from PH like that o....
Be wise man!

I have blocked her from all my phone lines for now..just need time to clear my head .i know she wd keep on tryin to call me one way or d other..am planning on givin her ds week off..let me see how far she can go ..then i wd kn if she truly truly values the relationship

Dave0116:
after how many rounds of sex exactly?

I have blocked her from all my phone lines for now..just need time to clear my head .i know she wd keep on tryin to call me one way or d other..am planning on givin her ds week off..let me see how far she can go ..then i wd kn if she truly truly values the relationship..shes trying to set us both up to see.i hv a stuff of hers..shes told me earlier she needs it back dat i sud bring it for her .whch i knew it was trick for us to meet..i told her i wd gv it to her broda to give her..she said no...dt she wants me to bring it myself..wch i declined knowin fully well.once she sees me and start her crying or she start makin her love advances towards me i wd accept her back..which i want to avoid for now

Dave0116:
after how many rounds of sex exactly?

I swear bro ph and owerri no far oo...na my fear be dat oo...wat if he comes to owerri to see her himself..can she stand her ground and sayNo to him

J4JUVENTUS:
Trust nobody... Now trying connecting your exes ,rub it on her face and see how she will react.. That ex will bang her one day ,even when you marry her.. That her ex has done more than you are doing now,you need to step up.. Bro be wise.. Go put on the traits of Alfa male,she will stop those those bullshit s,and won't wanna loose you.. If she is really a good woman as you claimed,she will respect you bro. Talking to an ex is totally unacceptable in any relationship,it brings about cheating.. Conclusively ...The ex na lecturer wen dey help the younger bro for admission? Must the helper be her ex? Can't you look for someone else to help in the admissions process.. The admission stuff is to divert you attention ,so that you believe nothing is happening between them. Remember Owerri no too far from PH like that o....
Be wise man!

justine94:
I have blocked her from all my phone lines for now..just need time to clear my head .i know she wd keep on tryin to call me one way or d other..am planning on givin her ds week off..let me see how far she can go ..then i wd kn if she truly truly values the relationship

bro I've been there recently..... Man up and let her be.... The pain you're scared to feel today is unavoidable... Its better you feel it now and become stronger or feel it in marriage become miserable....give her space and never look back.

AwkaetitiBabe:
The op was the one pumping her for information. He know she cannot go back to the said ex so why get worked up? Some men think because you dating them, they should be your alpha and omega, things don't work like that. This Op girlfriend might simply be on contact with d said ex because of her brother's admission. And if she cut ties now, I know say this Op no go fit run d admission thing for her brother o.
The op should guard his insecurities.

so the ex has become an admission officer or if the ex doesn't exist the brother will remain uneducated for life? It is when such favors come from exes that the long lost feelings come back. She should just go back to the ex or cut ties with him if truly she wants to move on. Let the same be said about the guy too, if he is not ready to settle with her, just let her go abeg

swear bro ph and owerri no far oo...na my fear be dat oo...wat if he comes to owerri to see her himself..can she stand her ground and sayNo to him

J4JUVENTUS:
Trust nobody... Now trying connecting your exes ,rub it on her face and see how she will react.. That ex will bang her one day ,even when you marry her.. That her ex has done more than you are doing now,you need to step up.. Bro be wise.. Go put on the traits of Alfa male,she will stop those those bullshit s,and won't wanna loose you.. If she is really a good woman as you claimed,she will respect you bro. Talking to an ex is totally unacceptable in any relationship,it brings about cheating.. Conclusively ...The ex na lecturer wen dey help the younger bro for admission? Must the helper be her ex? Can't you look for someone else to help in the admissions process.. The admission stuff is to divert you attention ,so that you believe nothing is happening between them. Remember Owerri no too far from PH like that o....
Be wise man!

justine94:
swear bro ph and owerri no far oo...na my fear be dat oo...wat if he comes to owerri to see her himself..can she stand her ground and sayNo to him

Thank God you know..My advice.. Tell her if she can't let go of her ex completely,she should go make up with him.

Meanwhile don't depend on her only,game more girls and find the one that will give you peace of mind.. Life is to short my brother ,so don't waste time on someone,who doesn't respect you enough to let her past be her past...

AwkaetitiBabe:
The op is unknownly pushing her towards d ex

Would you blame him?
When someone isn't strong emotionally, things like this hurts.
I believe his feelings are getting a better of him.

AwkaetitiBabe:
Mind you it's the man that is contacting the lady so if you wanna twist it, it will be the lady disturbing my boyfriend.... Personally I wouldn't lose sleep over anything as long as I'm aware of that's going on. If he decides to go back, tor. I'm simply fatalistic.

you are the one twisting it ,ok even if your man's ex is the one doing the calls won't you still be insecure? Even if you won't give a Bleep, are you op? You dey im shoes?

RuggedArab:
Law of Mr OKAFOR is a strong thing. Its either you cut off from your ex or I cut you off. “Choose ye whom you will serve”.

It used to be my number one rule in my dating book, but of recent I will give you a warning and if it continues I wouldn't take you serious anymore.

Get yourself another girl. She either sit up or walk away in nut shell is a win-win. Remember relationship is like bet9ja invest (time, care, finance etc) what you afford to loose should incase the relationship goes sour. Make e non too pain you.

justine94:
My Gf of Almost 3 years, her Ex still calls her anytime he likes even though not Frequently, she once told me she felt bad about him that he did nothing to her, she so much believe him to an extent he calls her to tell her things that he Dreamt about her life.

She says most of his Dreams comes to Past while they were Dating then. When she went back to school, she told me he called her to come see him but she declined.

I know she loves me very much, she has proven it to me beyond any reasonable doubt but she still has a Soft Spots for her Ex.

Its making us have issues most times. Of recent i saw a dialled log of her ex on her phone. She said she wanted to check on him. It weakened me alot.

But she said it was nothing, even though the ex is actually helping her kid bro for his admission. She claims she only called to tell him that the brother has written his PUME exams...

When i look at her, I have this feeling she still have a soft spot for her ex..i told her can she see her ex call and not pick it up, she could not ansa. I asked her if she still loves him, she could not ansa, she only tell me she cant go back to him, that she loves me..

I know she won't go back to him, but i know this to be sure she still have a Soft spots for her ex..and her ex knows this very well, so he calls her anytime he likes knowing fully well he knows how to talk to her for her to listen.

Anything he tells her she believes him, notwithstanding, anytime he calls her ,she tells me that he called her, am just confused.. I have already told her i cant continue again becuase i cant continue to hurt my self....

Please i need advice

Op, you have a right to be worried, we are talking about an ex-boyfriend here, not just some random male friend.

Most people, who stay committed in a relationship, do so, not because, they thought they would never find someone better, but because, they have the conviction in their heart, that the one they r with is the one for them. The fact the she's keeping in touch with her ex shows, she has doubts about you (for reasons best known to her). Perhaps, there r few things I think you should consider;

1. Reason for her breakup with her ex: Is it something that's irreparable (e.g, incompatible genotype), or something trivial (e.g, a quarrel due to ego).

2. Your intentions: what is your main intention towards her, do you intend to marry her, or just playing around (perhaps, that's the reason she has doubts about you, hence she's playing safe by keeping in touch with her ex). Only you can answer this question, but you need to be sincere with yourself.

3. Is her ex currently dating anyone: this question tells tells a lot about his genuine willingness to move on, or perhaps, if he's trying to move on.

My advice:
1. Let her know that you have doubts about her (for the sole reason that she's keeping in touch with her ex). You don't need to quarrel with her over this, else she will do it behind your back.

2. Prepare your mind for a breakup. In any relationship, there will always be disagreement, one day she might run to that ex for consolation, thereby making her vulnerable.

3. Be patient.

once you agree then you are gone forever. Case closed

deltateam:


Within that short time, she cut bleep her ex and still come back to you. You just gave her chance to bleep.

But now dats she is begging for me to stay back dat she has notin for the ex again...this girl is not just any random girl we hav bin togeda for more dan 3 years..i cant read minds..but i know she is into this relationship wit me..she has commited alot into...i want to give her a one week break..let me see wat she wud do about it..if she wd run bk to her ex for succour or still try all her possible best to win me back...which i knw she is going to do ..even though i blocked her from my 3 lines..let me see how far she can handle it...perhaps from den i wd decide on wat to do about this her ex tin...i hope am doing the right tin