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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / In Need Of Advice From Wives And Mothers (2658 Views)
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In Need Of Advice From Wives And Mothers by Florence725: 2:36pm On Aug 09, 2019 |
Dear All please i am here again to seek your opinion as i dont have any friend. It is only this forum i have. Remember sometime last year i created a topic this is the thread. https://www.nairaland.com/4728173/need-advice-experienced-wives-mothers/6#71918935 Now, the girl in question is back again. She is actually 13 and is seriously pleading that she would love to stay with me. I must be very honest here she is well brought up, can wash plates, clean the flat without being told and even baby sit. Hubby is even considering we put her in school. since shelter and feeding will not be a problem. The only thing i fear is issues from in-Laws and monitoring spirits. I dont want the good i do to be used against me later. I have been praying to my God to order my steps and tell me what to do.Meanwhile, my child is in daycare I have just two weeks to decide if she should stay or not. Dear all, please what is your suggestion? Thanks Cc. mylove4him Carammel Janelle08 Acidiosis ImaIma1 cococandy TonyeBarcanista lalasticlala |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Wives And Mothers by PoliteActivist: 2:46pm On Aug 09, 2019 |
Let her stay but treat her well, don't beat her, also be sure of your husband 1 Like |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Wives And Mothers by Florence725: 2:49pm On Aug 09, 2019 |
PoliteActivist:What do you mean by be sure of your husband? |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Wives And Mothers by LadySarah: 2:52pm On Aug 09, 2019 |
She is young pls.At first it will be sweet then when it starts getting sour,You will regret.Those three things You mentioned means nothing to You but at her age,Its a burden. Hmm,i really wish You watched your home yourself.Why do You really need her since your baby stays at the creche.While coming back You bring him,do ur chores and Go to sleep,cook bulk on weekends and let Dh help You while he can. But If he insistsooo,let her come.when the childishness starts irritating both of you,You will Come and tell us ![]() ![]() ![]() 3 Likes |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Wives And Mothers by PoliteActivist: 2:58pm On Aug 09, 2019 |
Florence725: Be sure your husband is not the type 3 Likes |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Wives And Mothers by Florence725: 3:09pm On Aug 09, 2019 |
PoliteActivist:Hmnn on his neice again? |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Wives And Mothers by Florence725: 3:10pm On Aug 09, 2019 |
LadySarah:Hmnn... |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Wives And Mothers by PoliteActivist: 3:13pm On Aug 09, 2019 |
Florence725: We see father/daughter on NL all the time 8 Likes |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Wives And Mothers by ImaIma1(f): 3:13pm On Aug 09, 2019 |
LadySarah: Do you do this? I mean doing all the house chores and take care of your child without any help whatsoever. |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Wives And Mothers by Florence725: 3:15pm On Aug 09, 2019 |
PoliteActivist:Lol you are right. But he is not the type... |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Wives And Mothers by PoliteActivist: 3:21pm On Aug 09, 2019 |
Florence725: Glory be, so go ahead and keep her. But treat her like a daughter, not a maid 2 Likes |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Wives And Mothers by LadySarah: 3:26pm On Aug 09, 2019 |
Florence725: Yesoo,i Dont want to type epistle If not You will close this matter but for inlaws sake,let her come.Do your best as If She is Yours (Its difficult but possible )and let your Dh be the one to compain.When he starts Dont put mouthoo until he says i Dont want again. ![]() ![]() My former who was fourteen swept House Once in a week,would give My kids food with unwashed plates from the sink so he wont wash plenty.Put them in a potty that poo was in ![]() ![]() It was Dh that said he was tired.He went to School from day one to the week he left and Unless i told you,looked not differnt from My kids cos he is blood.The day he left he cried but My mind was up and i didnt want to flog anybody's child. Now My kids are 3;4,2 and 6 wk old, we have nobody and we are happy. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() 2 Likes |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Wives And Mothers by PoliteActivist: 3:26pm On Aug 09, 2019 |
Florence725: So, what do u have against lalasticlala |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Wives And Mothers by LadySarah: 3:27pm On Aug 09, 2019 |
ImaIma1: Yes,both of us doand we are in Nigeria,both working too. |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Wives And Mothers by ImaIma1(f): 3:31pm On Aug 09, 2019 |
If you want to take her in, treat her like your younger sister. Don't leave all the work for her. Be involved in the chores too. If she were your sister, you could probably leave all the chores and cross your legs. But you need to be more mindful with in-laws so that it won't be taken as slavery. Always talk to your husband about any issues. Tell him your concerns about her coming to stay. So that if it turns out badly, he would know you mentioned it. The decision about taking her in still lies with you and your husband. 1 Like |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Wives And Mothers by ImaIma1(f): 3:33pm On Aug 09, 2019 |
LadySarah: I do too. I just wanted to get another person's experience. How do you do when school is on holiday like now? |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Wives And Mothers by Florence725: 3:39pm On Aug 09, 2019 |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Wives And Mothers by Florence725: 3:40pm On Aug 09, 2019 |
LadySarah:Hmnn |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Wives And Mothers by Florence725: 3:41pm On Aug 09, 2019 |
ImaIma1:Ok maam thanks. ![]() |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Wives And Mothers by nlPoster: 4:29pm On Aug 09, 2019 |
You can allow her to stay with her parents while paying her and/or her siblings' school fees/training . Since you mentioned their major problem is finances. Hire a house help from outside should you need one. 1 Like |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Wives And Mothers by mylove4him(f): 10:12am On Aug 10, 2019 |
This is dicey. Some people are lucky and some people aren't. Talk with your husband that any misbehavior from the girl she will go back. Bring her in treat her like a family. Please don't buy her phone o. Let her speak with her parents from your phone whenever and infront of you. I know that won't deter cos she can still call them from a pay phone to pass information. Sha treat her well and try be without blemish. So that whatsoever decision you will take in future. Your conscience will be free. I am considering helping one like that but they haven't brought her. Her case will be enjoyment cos I have a maid and I have nieces and nephews and also inlaws living with me. Just to get someone that will always be around my children. Maid will go for Christmas. These other ones go to school or work. So they ain't consistent. Make sure you have your husband on your side in whatsoever you choose to do with them |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Wives And Mothers by LadySarah: 10:39am On Aug 10, 2019 |
h |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Wives And Mothers by StrongWoman333(f): 3:52pm On Aug 10, 2019 |
Same scenario ![]() |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Wives And Mothers by Florence725: 5:34pm On Aug 16, 2019 |
nairalandposter:Ok Maam thanks. |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Wives And Mothers by Florence725: 5:36pm On Aug 16, 2019 |
ImaIma1:Thanks Maam |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Wives And Mothers by viettastitches(f): 7:08am On Aug 17, 2019 |
ImaIma1:yes I do it. I actually take care of 3 kids and run a business. But only because I can't afford a help. |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Wives And Mothers by ImaIma1(f): 7:39am On Aug 17, 2019 |
viettastitches: You run your own business, not a 9-5 on the Island and living on the mainland. At least it's more flexible for you. I don't have a maid also but I work on the Island and live on the mainland. |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Wives And Mothers by Acidosis(m): 9:40am On Aug 17, 2019 |
My God. What are you still waiting for, madam? She's your husband's niece for crying out loud. Why is this discussion still at the stage of deliberation? Please send me your hubby's contact, I need to tell him something. 2 Likes |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Wives And Mothers by Florence725: 12:42pm On Aug 19, 2019 |
Acidosis:Lol you mean i should allow her stay? |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Wives And Mothers by Acidosis(m): 6:03pm On Aug 19, 2019 |
Florence725: Yes, please. You're paranoid and it's very unhealthy. 1 Like |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Wives And Mothers by ImaIma1(f): 6:08pm On Aug 19, 2019 |
mylove4him: Why so many people staying with you ![]() |
Re: In Need Of Advice From Wives And Mothers by mylove4him(f): 11:31am On Aug 23, 2019 |
ImaIma1:These people staying aren't consistent..my nephew works and his work place is closed to my home. Jets in and out anytime he likes cos of shift work. Niece is in school, comes around during holiday. BIL stayed for two years and leaving for school to be coming during holiday. Maid must always travel around December. Having different people jare. Just wanted someone that can come stay and grow with my kids while going to school. |
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