Re: My Wife Is A Cheat. I Need Advice by Originalsly: 11:33pm On Aug 15, 2019 |
My advice is stop.expecting your wife to change.... doesn't matter what her mouth says.... that is the nature of the beast. For now... for the sake of the children.... stick it out... let her continue contributing to the business until you are firm again... then you can discuss divorce. 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is A Cheat. I Need Advice by lexy2014: 11:35pm On Aug 15, 2019 |
hurthubby:
This is no fiction. Am talking about my marriage. Then y are u complaining? Uptill now u dont no what to do? Pls stay put. Ur wife is what u need. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Is A Cheat. I Need Advice by AntiWailer: 11:36pm On Aug 15, 2019 |
hurthubby:
I am 48 while she is 45 Argh. U have crossed the f00l at 40 thingy ? I see 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Is A Cheat. I Need Advice by Xisnin(m): 11:36pm On Aug 15, 2019 |
Actually, you don't need advice. There is nearly a zero chance that you will separate from your wife even if you recover financially and become a billionaire. even if she brings in a live-in boyfriend permanently.
This is due to sunk cost fallacy and Stockholm syndrome. You feel she is your investment and you can't let her go. You appear to be too beaten to stand up.
How do I know this? Because even if 50% of what you wrote is true, you would have make a decision already. Hence, your thread should have been asking for advice about a decision you have made not begging people to make a decision for you.
I don't know why you open the thread when you feel comfortable in your relationship but if it is for sympathy, well you will get some here. On this basis, I advise that you continue to endure your loving wife as you have been doing for years at least you are not alone.
If I am wrong and you indeed want change. You must physically separate from her immediately because this is your only chance. It doesn't matter if you squat with family members or friends. Don't wait till next week or next month because you are not really in charge and by then, you may fall into the same thinking that kept you in bondage for several years. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is A Cheat. I Need Advice by introvertme: 11:37pm On Aug 15, 2019 |
pocohantas: Forgive her.
Women are polygamous in nature.
Don't allow those men win, she is your wife...they are the intruders.
Just focus on your children, she'll definitely get tired and come back to you. They always do...
Always remember, God hates divorce. I wish you strength.
![smiley](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/smiley.png) Sarcasm ![smiley](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/smiley.png) |
Re: My Wife Is A Cheat. I Need Advice by betterpikinn: 11:39pm On Aug 15, 2019 |
hurthubby:
Your language is rude and crude. You are married for 7 years only. Wait till you get to over 19 years of marriage with teen children before you know that it is another kettle of fish. Thanks anyway
You're just a very weak and man... 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is A Cheat. I Need Advice by Bizibi(m): 11:40pm On Aug 15, 2019 |
zeb04: so right now you are cheating on her too.
She is cheating, you are also cheating so what else do you want?
If she stops cheating, it is very unlikely that you would too so? this one is already judging.... |
Re: My Wife Is A Cheat. I Need Advice by Bizibi(m): 11:41pm On Aug 15, 2019 |
zeb04: so right now you are cheating on her too.
She is cheating, you are also cheating so what else do you want?
If she stops cheating, it is very unlikely that you would too so? |
Re: My Wife Is A Cheat. I Need Advice by TSRC: 11:42pm On Aug 15, 2019 |
.. |
Re: My Wife Is A Cheat. I Need Advice by TANTUMERGO007(m): 11:42pm On Aug 15, 2019 |
How you go progress when woman they sleep with men right under your nose and and you still eat her food. 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is A Cheat. I Need Advice by Nobody: 11:42pm On Aug 15, 2019 |
Isabellah: Nigerian parents don't get enough credit. Most of them deserve endless praise and commendation for raising kids in a country bedeviled by economic hardship. Most people are not perfect, but I celebrate my parents everyday. I hope yours are worthy of celebration too. Yes. My parents built a self sufficient hero in me. They haven't seen anything yet. God should just keep them. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is A Cheat. I Need Advice by OCHKESTINE(m): 11:43pm On Aug 15, 2019 |
"If the foundations be destroyed,what can the Righteous do?" Psalm 11:3. The foundation of the Marriage is already gone! Not even the Most spiritual Man on Earth can do anything about it. rosy1992: This is absolutely ridiculous, how did you cope all these years, As a Christian I won't suggest divorce, rather you need to have an open minded discussion with her, to tell her how you feel.
Or you both need to see a marriage counselor , it seems there is something wrong somewhere. You both need to find the missing puzzle.
Then concentrate on establishing yourself, and taking care of yourself and your children. If she continues with her immorality, then you can decide to give yourselves some space till you figure out what next to do. Divorce is not an option. |
Re: My Wife Is A Cheat. I Need Advice by scala101(m): 11:43pm On Aug 15, 2019 |
hurthubby:
Thanks. Her parents are dead, and capitalises on it all the time, telling me to remember that she's an orphan. Balance yourself emotionally, you might be going through a lot Get yourself together (don't sell your house) but be financially stable then file for divorce and let the children know what is going on and later remarry ...You will be happy again. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is A Cheat. I Need Advice by scala101(m): 11:44pm On Aug 15, 2019 |
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Re: My Wife Is A Cheat. I Need Advice by TSRC: 11:46pm On Aug 15, 2019 |
scala101:
I'm sure you aint married ![](/faces/huh.png) I don't need to be married to have respect and dignity and know the right thing to do. Your wife is sharing Toto to people, and you are there looking? Tufiakwa. |
Re: My Wife Is A Cheat. I Need Advice by bewla(m): 11:47pm On Aug 15, 2019 |
hurthubby: My story is too long but let me try to summarize everything.
(I have been a member of Nairaland since 2009, but i just created this account to hide my identity)
I got married in the year 2000 and wedded in Dec 2001. Before the actual wedding, my wife got a job in Abuja, where she stayed for one year before our wedding and her joining me in Ibadan. During the cause of that year, i have a friend who stays in Abuja that knows my wife very well, who reported about my wife's infidelity to me then, though i ignored it.
In the year 2005, my wife confessed to me that she committed adultery after our wedding. (She was actually about 2 months pregnant in Feb 2002 when she sought my permission to visit her sister in Lagos. I never knew that she actually visited one of her old boy friends and spent 2 days with him).
I was down cast for some days when i heard her confession before i got back myself and forgave and forgot everything.
She later got a job which made her travel often, sometimes spending weeks outside but i never suspected anything even though her boss, (A lady) called me several times to complain about my wife's behavior, which is contrary to that of a married woman but i didn't take her serious because my wife always complained of the harshness of the woman. She later lost the job and joined me in my business, but always going to Lagos to buy jewelry, which she sells in Ibadan.
In the year 2014, i got some texts from a concerned fellow about how my wife have been sleeping with his neighbor for over 2 years in Lagos. It happens that the fellow knows us very well and didn't want to cause any problem in our marriage but the the acts became too much, he had to let me know. When i confronted my wife with all the evidence and some dates, she owned up and pleaded for forgiveness. She confessed that the affair started when she was working for the lady i mentioned earlier and anytime she travels to Lagos for her jewelry business, she always go and sleep with the man. She promised to turn a new leaf.
In the year 2018, i discovered that she had been communicating with the same man, to the extent that he even knew that my wife traveled to Owerri for a wedding. I discovered that they had reconnected back and chats always. When i confronted my wife, she said that they have nothing, just chats, which i made her to stop (I don't know if they actually stopped).
Before i married her, a man actually dumped her and married her friend, 6 years earlier. The next boy friend left her and traveled abroad for over 2 years, without any communication (before i met and married her) but unfortunately, it didn't work out for him and he came back and discovered that shes married. He started pestering her,pretending that he wanted to marry her, that he traveled to make money for both of them, but been that she's already married, she introduced the man to her cousin and he married the cousin.
Now the issue is that my wife is flirting with her former boyfriends, sending pornographic pictures and nude pictures with dirty chats. I used to monitor her chat but to save myself from HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE, i stopped checking her phone.
My wife even told the one that dumped her for her friend that she still loves him so much. She also tells the one that married her cousin the same thing and regrets that distance is so much between them. (The one that married the cousin is based in Kano while the one that married her friend is based in Abuja) Whenever i confront her, she will deny anything serious but when she sees my evidence, she will beg for forgiveness. My business is down and she provides about 70% of the house up keep (She is a teacher). We have 4 children, the eldest being 17. I have been trying to sell my house or land to reestablish my business but it has not been easy. My wife now does as she like, even having male friends here in Ibadan and keeps too much secret? What should i do.
I know this is long, but its just a summary. Forgive any typo.
I read with pity how holy heart like ours get cut in this web call love may your sorrow be put to joy and God grant u wisdom to rule over your house one thing I will advise u do is make her cox her self with Bible in hand or if u a Muslim let her hold the Quran in hand I swear that all the Cox in it be hers the day she chit on u again some partners don't think what is the person she is cheating with as AIDS she brings it home to u abi |
Re: My Wife Is A Cheat. I Need Advice by hysteriabox(m): 11:47pm On Aug 15, 2019 |
Kingosytex:
![cheesy](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/cheesy.png)
If after all these things happened you still can't take a tangible decision, it means that you are even more gullible than Timi Dakolo and your wife will always capitalise on that fact to manipulate you till thy kingdom come, can't you see she is using your brain to play bet9ja? ...Sorry for the harsh words but i just had to pour out my mind.
In your wife is the deadly combo of cheating, lying, deceit, nudist and promiscuity. Oga, you have a very big problem. Your wife has cheated and lied to you on many occasions yet you forgave her, i must commend you for that because it is only few men that can tolerate such excesses to the level you tolerated. I dislike liars with passion and i absolutely have no second chance to offer them.
Your wife is a perfect example that Okafor's law works. I will suggest you meet your in laws and table the matter before them though i don't believe anything positive will come out of such meeting, but you have to do that for the sake of formality. I advice you to break free from her bondage, send her away, divorce her. She is a cheat and she can't change. A leopard can't change its spots, Buhari is a perfect example about that. Your wife is prepared to ruin your life, she is willing to steal your joy and happiness and she might send you to your early grave.
Remember she has nothing to lose. If you die, she will move on with her lovers. Lastly, make sure you run a DNA test on those children to determine their paternity. Don't even think of selling your house, i advise you sell the undeveloped plots instead and grow your business. I believe you will overcome, i wish you good luck! U da deal
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Re: My Wife Is A Cheat. I Need Advice by mkoabiola: 11:47pm On Aug 15, 2019 |
Ds man gat no balls to call it quit.. 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is A Cheat. I Need Advice by Icent04: 11:51pm On Aug 15, 2019 |
My brother you have a choice to either live or die. To live is to get a divorce and am sure you know the otherwise 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is A Cheat. I Need Advice by mkoabiola: 11:52pm On Aug 15, 2019 |
AntiWailer:
Argh. U have crossed the f00l at 40 thingy ?
I see Hahahahahahaha |
Re: My Wife Is A Cheat. I Need Advice by chinchum(m): 11:52pm On Aug 15, 2019 |
bewla: I read with pity how holy heart like ours get cut in this web call love may your sorrow be put to joy and God grant u wisdom to rule over your house
one thing I will advise u do is make her cox her self with Bible in hand or if u a Muslim let her hold the Quran in hand I swear that all the Cox in it be hers the day she chit on u again
some partners don't think what is the person she is cheating with as AIDS
she brings it home to u abi YINMU. |
Re: My Wife Is A Cheat. I Need Advice by Toks2008(m): 11:53pm On Aug 15, 2019 |
hurthubby: My story is too long but let me try to summarize everything.
(I have been a member of Nairaland since 2009, but i just created this account to hide my identity)
I got married in the year 2000 and wedded in Dec 2001. Before the actual wedding, my wife got a job in Abuja, where she stayed for one year before our wedding and her joining me in Ibadan. During the cause of that year, i have a friend who stays in Abuja that knows my wife very well, who reported about my wife's infidelity to me then, though i ignored it.
In the year 2005, my wife confessed to me that she committed adultery after our wedding. (She was actually about 2 months pregnant in Feb 2002 when she sought my permission to visit her sister in Lagos. I never knew that she actually visited one of her old boy friends and spent 2 days with him).
I was down cast for some days when i heard her confession before i got back myself and forgave and forgot everything.
She later got a job which made her travel often, sometimes spending weeks outside but i never suspected anything even though her boss, (A lady) called me several times to complain about my wife's behavior, which is contrary to that of a married woman but i didn't take her serious because my wife always complained of the harshness of the woman. She later lost the job and joined me in my business, but always going to Lagos to buy jewelry, which she sells in Ibadan.
In the year 2014, i got some texts from a concerned fellow about how my wife have been sleeping with his neighbor for over 2 years in Lagos. It happens that the fellow knows us very well and didn't want to cause any problem in our marriage but the the acts became too much, he had to let me know. When i confronted my wife with all the evidence and some dates, she owned up and pleaded for forgiveness. She confessed that the affair started when she was working for the lady i mentioned earlier and anytime she travels to Lagos for her jewelry business, she always go and sleep with the man. She promised to turn a new leaf.
In the year 2018, i discovered that she had been communicating with the same man, to the extent that he even knew that my wife traveled to Owerri for a wedding. I discovered that they had reconnected back and chats always. When i confronted my wife, she said that they have nothing, just chats, which i made her to stop (I don't know if they actually stopped).
Before i married her, a man actually dumped her and married her friend, 6 years earlier. The next boy friend left her and traveled abroad for over 2 years, without any communication (before i met and married her) but unfortunately, it didn't work out for him and he came back and discovered that shes married. He started pestering her,pretending that he wanted to marry her, that he traveled to make money for both of them, but been that she's already married, she introduced the man to her cousin and he married the cousin.
Now the issue is that my wife is flirting with her former boyfriends, sending pornographic pictures and nude pictures with dirty chats. I used to monitor her chat but to save myself from HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE, i stopped checking her phone.
My wife even told the one that dumped her for her friend that she still loves him so much. She also tells the one that married her cousin the same thing and regrets that distance is so much between them. (The one that married the cousin is based in Kano while the one that married her friend is based in Abuja) Whenever i confront her, she will deny anything serious but when she sees my evidence, she will beg for forgiveness. My business is down and she provides about 70% of the house up keep (She is a teacher). We have 4 children, the eldest being 17. I have been trying to sell my house or land to reestablish my business but it has not been easy. My wife now does as she like, even having male friends here in Ibadan and keeps too much secret? What should i do.
I know this is long, but its just a summary. Forgive any typo.
https://www.nairaland.com/2560505/before-divorce-adulterous-wife |
Re: My Wife Is A Cheat. I Need Advice by BarrElChapo(m): 11:55pm On Aug 15, 2019 |
May God have mercy on us all. but my thoughts are whether OP is forgiving out of love or lack.of self esteem. not many men will forgive a cheating spouse one too many times. don't even know what to say but pls be safe sir. |
Re: My Wife Is A Cheat. I Need Advice by koyyess: 11:56pm On Aug 15, 2019 |
This one pass me o.
Let's read madam's side first.
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Re: My Wife Is A Cheat. I Need Advice by jaxxy(m): 11:57pm On Aug 15, 2019 |
When u take so much nonsense u get used to the nonsense and almost assume it’s normal. Why on earth will u tolerate a serial cheat?
Sm1 can only make a mistake once after that it’s no longer a mistake bt a decision. Forgiving her easily only makes matters worse. She will never learn or understand what she’s doing is completely wrong.
U need to get ur finances up either still living with her or separated. Right now Ure like a laughing stock u need to pray and get urself and life back.
I have a neighbor in similar position the wife jumps around, never says where she is, luckily theyve separated bt not divorced yet and have just a child. Funny thing he still likes her and wants her to Change so hasn’t remarried. U need to get ur life back on track 1st unless uve zeroed ur mind living with ur cheating wife and u keep ur own ladies, sm men do this and everyone minds their business. It’s terrible situation however. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is A Cheat. I Need Advice by boban007: 11:58pm On Aug 15, 2019 |
kapelvej: This story is not true. However if it is true, then what is really your problem. A woman cheating on you endlessly and you come here to complain. Please get out from here, go and divorce her, then come back to tell us the good news. Its true I know someone who's wife is worse. Infact the wife sometimes drive him out of her house cos the guy is JOBLESS. She dates her bosses and travels anyhow. She sometimes gets her hubby contracts in her office to keep the husband mouth shut..its a long story u dont wanna hear it. But it's true. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is A Cheat. I Need Advice by TruthHurts100: 12:01am On Aug 16, 2019 |
hurthubby: My story is too long but let me try to summarize everything.
(I have been a member of Nairaland since 2009, but i just created this account to hide my identity)
I got married in the year 2000 and wedded in Dec 2001. Before the actual wedding, my wife got a job in Abuja, where she stayed for one year before our wedding and her joining me in Ibadan. During the cause of that year, i have a friend who stays in Abuja that knows my wife very well, who reported about my wife's infidelity to me then, though i ignored it.
In the year 2005, my wife confessed to me that she committed adultery after our wedding. (She was actually about 2 months pregnant in Feb 2002 when she sought my permission to visit her sister in Lagos. I never knew that she actually visited one of her old boy friends and spent 2 days with him).
I was down cast for some days when i heard her confession before i got back myself and forgave and forgot everything.
She later got a job which made her travel often, sometimes spending weeks outside but i never suspected anything even though her boss, (A lady) called me several times to complain about my wife's behavior, which is contrary to that of a married woman but i didn't take her serious because my wife always complained of the harshness of the woman. She later lost the job and joined me in my business, but always going to Lagos to buy jewelry, which she sells in Ibadan.
In the year 2014, i got some texts from a concerned fellow about how my wife have been sleeping with his neighbor for over 2 years in Lagos. It happens that the fellow knows us very well and didn't want to cause any problem in our marriage but the the acts became too much, he had to let me know. When i confronted my wife with all the evidence and some dates, she owned up and pleaded for forgiveness. She confessed that the affair started when she was working for the lady i mentioned earlier and anytime she travels to Lagos for her jewelry business, she always go and sleep with the man. She promised to turn a new leaf.
In the year 2018, i discovered that she had been communicating with the same man, to the extent that he even knew that my wife traveled to Owerri for a wedding. I discovered that they had reconnected back and chats always. When i confronted my wife, she said that they have nothing, just chats, which i made her to stop (I don't know if they actually stopped).
Before i married her, a man actually dumped her and married her friend, 6 years earlier. The next boy friend left her and traveled abroad for over 2 years, without any communication (before i met and married her) but unfortunately, it didn't work out for him and he came back and discovered that shes married. He started pestering her,pretending that he wanted to marry her, that he traveled to make money for both of them, but been that she's already married, she introduced the man to her cousin and he married the cousin.
Now the issue is that my wife is flirting with her former boyfriends, sending pornographic pictures and nude pictures with dirty chats. I used to monitor her chat but to save myself from HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE, i stopped checking her phone.
My wife even told the one that dumped her for her friend that she still loves him so much. She also tells the one that married her cousin the same thing and regrets that distance is so much between them. (The one that married the cousin is based in Kano while the one that married her friend is based in Abuja) Whenever i confront her, she will deny anything serious but when she sees my evidence, she will beg for forgiveness. My business is down and she provides about 70% of the house up keep (She is a teacher). We have 4 children, the eldest being 17. I have been trying to sell my house or land to reestablish my business but it has not been easy. My wife now does as she like, even having male friends here in Ibadan and keeps too much secret? What should i do.
I know this is long, but its just a summary. Forgive any typo.
Bros, You're not only Stupid.... You're also foolish. Nonsense. 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is A Cheat. I Need Advice by Ayasayas(m): 12:02am On Aug 16, 2019 |
pocohantas: Forgive her.
Women are polygamous in nature.
Don't allow those men win, she is your wife...they are the intruders.
Just focus on your children, she'll definitely get tired and come back to you. They always do...
Always remember, God hates divorce. I wish you strength.
![smiley](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/smiley.png) Even God permit you to Divorce in a case like this 1cor 7 say's except sexual immurality, so if u divorce is not a sin that is normal condition to remarry is the sin but under adultary remarry too i don't tag it as sin. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is A Cheat. I Need Advice by scala101(m): 12:03am On Aug 16, 2019 |
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Re: My Wife Is A Cheat. I Need Advice by Tvegas(m): 12:04am On Aug 16, 2019 |
OP you are very strong and you get liver. Your wife cannot change so you either stick with her or move on. Somethings can not just be helped,if you divorce today those kids will survive,if your wife also kill you before your due time those kids will survive.
If the cheating is a one time scenario i will understand but this one that she keeps sharing her private with people is terrible. The decision is yours at the end. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is A Cheat. I Need Advice by Nobody: 12:04am On Aug 16, 2019 |
hurthubby: My story is too long but let me try to summarize everything.
(I have been a member of Nairaland since 2009, but i just created this account to hide my identity)
I got married in the year 2000 and wedded in Dec 2001. Before the actual wedding, my wife got a job in Abuja, where she stayed for one year before our wedding and her joining me in Ibadan. During the cause of that year, i have a friend who stays in Abuja that knows my wife very well, who reported about my wife's infidelity to me then, though i ignored it.
In the year 2005, my wife confessed to me that she committed adultery after our wedding. (She was actually about 2 months pregnant in Feb 2002 when she sought my permission to visit her sister in Lagos. I never knew that she actually visited one of her old boy friends and spent 2 days with him).
I was down cast for some days when i heard her confession before i got back myself and forgave and forgot everything.
She later got a job which made her travel often, sometimes spending weeks outside but i never suspected anything even though her boss, (A lady) called me several times to complain about my wife's behavior, which is contrary to that of a married woman but i didn't take her serious because my wife always complained of the harshness of the woman. She later lost the job and joined me in my business, but always going to Lagos to buy jewelry, which she sells in Ibadan.
In the year 2014, i got some texts from a concerned fellow about how my wife have been sleeping with his neighbor for over 2 years in Lagos. It happens that the fellow knows us very well and didn't want to cause any problem in our marriage but the the acts became too much, he had to let me know. When i confronted my wife with all the evidence and some dates, she owned up and pleaded for forgiveness. She confessed that the affair started when she was working for the lady i mentioned earlier and anytime she travels to Lagos for her jewelry business, she always go and sleep with the man. She promised to turn a new leaf.
In the year 2018, i discovered that she had been communicating with the same man, to the extent that he even knew that my wife traveled to Owerri for a wedding. I discovered that they had reconnected back and chats always. When i confronted my wife, she said that they have nothing, just chats, which i made her to stop (I don't know if they actually stopped).
Before i married her, a man actually dumped her and married her friend, 6 years earlier. The next boy friend left her and traveled abroad for over 2 years, without any communication (before i met and married her) but unfortunately, it didn't work out for him and he came back and discovered that shes married. He started pestering her,pretending that he wanted to marry her, that he traveled to make money for both of them, but been that she's already married, she introduced the man to her cousin and he married the cousin.
Now the issue is that my wife is flirting with her former boyfriends, sending pornographic pictures and nude pictures with dirty chats. I used to monitor her chat but to save myself from HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE, i stopped checking her phone.
My wife even told the one that dumped her for her friend that she still loves him so much. She also tells the one that married her cousin the same thing and regrets that distance is so much between them. (The one that married the cousin is based in Kano while the one that married her friend is based in Abuja) Whenever i confront her, she will deny anything serious but when she sees my evidence, she will beg for forgiveness. My business is down and she provides about 70% of the house up keep (She is a teacher). We have 4 children, the eldest being 17. I have been trying to sell my house or land to reestablish my business but it has not been easy. My wife now does as she like, even having male friends here in Ibadan and keeps too much secret? What should i do.
I know this is long, but its just a summary. Forgive any typo.
I have read a lot of comments already. That been said, I think OP deserve a resounding slap for been too soft for a man. Your wife is clearly in control because of your mushy mushy madness. U clearly married a slot that has no single shame and no respect or regard for her husband. Oga, leave the house for her if u want to be a gentleman and return her bride price or Just throw her out! Marriage is not by force. Yes, I said it! There are lots of nice women out there. Maybe she is physically appealing that u got so carried away that u can't see beyond the physical beauty anymore. Oga, you are a good man and you deserve every respect a man can get from his wife. If you continue with this marriage, makachukwu, you will wake up one day soonest in a strange environment only to discover u just died via poison or heart attack as a result of the woman u married in this world. As for the kids, you can always take care of them as they are ur responsibility. That is if they are urs sef. Nonsense and ingredients! Don't be unfortunate! 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is A Cheat. I Need Advice by help9: 12:06am On Aug 16, 2019 |
Well, my own honest advise to you will be for you to be extra careful going forward. All I see is early grave for you if you're not very careful in all of this. Only a woman knows who she bears kids for; By the time your wife starts feeling the heat and she knows you're getting inquisitive and tends to start probing into your kids paternity, she'd rather she become a widow than to face the shame. Brodaman, stay up and wise up. Chances are way too high you've been raising other man's 2 or 3 kids over the years but then, don't shy away from the truth; those innocent kids deserves to know their true identities and then the earlier you invest your cash and energy into confirming all doubts asap the better for you to face reality and pick yourself up before you clock 60, 70, 80 when there'd be no remedy. All in all, pls be diplomatic about this. A cheat have no mind of their own, just some pet talk with one or more of her lovers and you'd be a victim of conspiracy/circumstances - You're dead! hurthubby: My story is too long but let me try to summarize everything.
(I have been a member of Nairaland since 2009, but i just created this account to hide my identity)
I got married in the year 2000 and wedded in Dec 2001. Before the actual wedding, my wife got a job in Abuja, where she stayed for one year before our wedding and her joining me in Ibadan. During the cause of that year, i have a friend who stays in Abuja that knows my wife very well, who reported about my wife's infidelity to me then, though i ignored it.
In the year 2005, my wife confessed to me that she committed adultery after our wedding. (She was actually about 2 months pregnant in Feb 2002 when she sought my permission to visit her sister in Lagos. I never knew that she actually visited one of her old boy friends and spent 2 days with him).
I was down cast for some days when i heard her confession before i got back myself and forgave and forgot everything.
She later got a job which made her travel often, sometimes spending weeks outside but i never suspected anything even though her boss, (A lady) called me several times to complain about my wife's behavior, which is contrary to that of a married woman but i didn't take her serious because my wife always complained of the harshness of the woman. She later lost the job and joined me in my business, but always going to Lagos to buy jewelry, which she sells in Ibadan.
In the year 2014, i got some texts from a concerned fellow about how my wife have been sleeping with his neighbor for over 2 years in Lagos. It happens that the fellow knows us very well and didn't want to cause any problem in our marriage but the the acts became too much, he had to let me know. When i confronted my wife with all the evidence and some dates, she owned up and pleaded for forgiveness. She confessed that the affair started when she was working for the lady i mentioned earlier and anytime she travels to Lagos for her jewelry business, she always go and sleep with the man. She promised to turn a new leaf.
In the year 2018, i discovered that she had been communicating with the same man, to the extent that he even knew that my wife traveled to Owerri for a wedding. I discovered that they had reconnected back and chats always. When i confronted my wife, she said that they have nothing, just chats, which i made her to stop (I don't know if they actually stopped).
Before i married her, a man actually dumped her and married her friend, 6 years earlier. The next boy friend left her and traveled abroad for over 2 years, without any communication (before i met and married her) but unfortunately, it didn't work out for him and he came back and discovered that shes married. He started pestering her,pretending that he wanted to marry her, that he traveled to make money for both of them, but been that she's already married, she introduced the man to her cousin and he married the cousin.
Now the issue is that my wife is flirting with her former boyfriends, sending pornographic pictures and nude pictures with dirty chats. I used to monitor her chat but to save myself from HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE, i stopped checking her phone.
My wife even told the one that dumped her for her friend that she still loves him so much. She also tells the one that married her cousin the same thing and regrets that distance is so much between them. (The one that married the cousin is based in Kano while the one that married her friend is based in Abuja) Whenever i confront her, she will deny anything serious but when she sees my evidence, she will beg for forgiveness. My business is down and she provides about 70% of the house up keep (She is a teacher). We have 4 children, the eldest being 17. I have been trying to sell my house or land to reestablish my business but it has not been easy. My wife now does as she like, even having male friends here in Ibadan and keeps too much secret? What should i do.
I know this is long, but its just a summary. Forgive any typo.
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