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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. (42698 Views)
My Personal Observation About Nigerian "Adults" / What’s The Difference Between Nigerian Marriage Law And The West / Happy marriage Life (pic) (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by Fimly: 11:46am On May 24, 2019 |
peacefull: hi please pardon my late reply. I was embroiled in one or two things that left me with no time to come online. Actually, I'm pained by the dismal news about interracial relationship, as it relates to Nigeria. specifically, bcs I'm predisposed to it with a religious penchant. not for anything, but for the fact that foreign women orientation and proclivity is different from the crop of females we've over here(I mean both white or colored foreigner) so, reading your story was disconcerting (mainly bcs ur husband is of my tribe and we're not known for that), and reading her's is...I just can't fathom motives behind such action when the relationship is not predicated on pecuniary gain and selfish interest like what I deduced from your story. To be unequivocal, the main reason i wanted to get to her, is to start something serious with her and to negate her misconceptions about us. I'm not making a case that I'm perfect, but if anything is to bring problem between me and a woman, it will never border on cheating, disloyalty or nonchalance. these have precluded me from having any relationship for good 25yrs(believe it or not, it's the fact and ascertainable) because I couldn't guarantee the aforementioned with the crop of females we've got over here. Dont get me wrong, I have nothing against our females here, but I'm not predisposed to them that said, I'd appreciate if get me across to her, that's if she's available and OK with me. thanks 2 Likes |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by Martin0(m): 5:34pm On May 24, 2019 |
1 Like |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by peacefull(f): 8:34pm On May 25, 2019 |
Fimly: My husband is a good person. He has no pecuniary gain from me. Because I'm not a rich person. I'm poor. I don't know he is rich or poor. That is doesn't matter to me. Why I wrote about money and gift is because I thought his behavior is from Nigerian culture. And I believed that if I could know and I could understand more his culture, I can make more good relationship with him. If I'm misunderstanding him, that is bad and I think that is possible to make bad relationship. I really didn't want it. I really didn't wanna ruin our long time relationship. That's why I joined here and I wrote about that. I really wanted to know and I really needed to know about his culture. Many good peoples helped me a lot and I really appreciate. I'm sorry for if I'm writing about something strange. Your English is very difficult to me ![]() So maybe what I wrote is not you are talking about. I'm sorry. But I appreciate you. Thank you so much! About her, I will tell her to read what you wrote on here. If I made you write it, but in fact you didn't wanna write, I'm really sorry. |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by Fimly: 8:32am On May 27, 2019 |
peacefull:Actually ma'am, you responded to the opposite of what i said. here's an excerpt I just can't fathom motive behind such action when the relationship is not predicated on pecuniary gain and selfish interest like what I deduced from your story.but it's all good tho, you're getting exponentially better in English. as regards her; i must confess that I was little reticent in saying it here, but prevaricating is not my thing. thanks, I look forward to her response. |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by peacefull(f): 4:41pm On May 27, 2019 |
Fimly: I'm sorry. I maybe made you feel bad. I already sent her message ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by peacefull(f): 5:51am On Jun 03, 2019 |
Fimly: Hello, I'm sorry for late reply. I got message from her and she told me what to do. Do you know her Facebook link? If you don't know, I will send you and I will tell you what to do. So she said she will know that is you ![]() |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by ebonyggurl(f): 8:51am On Jun 03, 2019 |
Fimly: All these your grammar wey you pack put for here, didn't they tell you their english isn't very good? 6 Likes |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by Fimly: 10:28am On Jun 07, 2019 |
peacefull:you really need to pardon my protracted response. I seldom come online these days. No, I don't know her link. can you please send it here +234 906 768 75 44 via WhatsApp, and what to do, or you would prefer via email? thanks |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by Fimly: 11:20am On Jun 07, 2019 |
ebonyggurl: yes, I'm aware of her deficiency in English, and it's because of that i intentionally infused words the way I did. why? it's psychology aimed at stimulating her zest(English inclination) by creating an incentive with those unusual words thus spurring her to ascertain the words in other to discern my assertion, and the contextual usage of those words. for instance; I used the word 'pecuniary' and she correctly reused it(even tho she missed one thing). that is to show that she probably researched on the meaning and it application, by extension, her subconsciousness register it for future use with her not even knowing. It's hard at first, but it's a very fast way of learning and she'll find it easy if she persist. I personally use it as one of my tool of learning, and I'm simply passing it on to expedite her learning. so, aunty, you wun arrest me ![]() |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by Nobody: 3:45pm On Jul 10, 2019 |
Fimly: Mtchew |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by Fimly: 12:48pm On Aug 30, 2019 |
X36DD:don't hit your head against the wall tho. lol |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by Nobody: 3:48pm On Aug 30, 2019 |
Jesus Christ! Na so English hard reach? |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by peacefull(f): 4:04am On Sep 04, 2019 |
ladiesreject: Sorry. Hard reach is meaning like difficult? If I'm misunderstanding, I'm very sorry. Japanese learn English in school. But if don't need to use English on work place, not go to abroad, don't talk with foreigner etc, Most of Japanese including me, don't have any problem if can't speak, write and read English. And of course many Japanese can speak, write and read English very well. About me, English is very difficult to me. I don't need use English on my work place now. I'm learning English by myself. My husband is Nigerian man. Our conversation is Japanese and English. (Sometimes I learn Igbo language from him) I worked with foreigners before and I have foreigner friends. Everybody is my English teacher. I'm learning English little by little. Very very slow. I know my English is bad and I'm already lost confidence about my English. Learning English is not easy to me. Very very hard. But I don't wanna give up. I will not give up ![]() If hard reach meaning like difficult, Yes! Very difficult and very hard to me. But if I'm misunderstanding, I'm very very sorry. 4 Likes |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by nurey(m): 5:48am On Sep 04, 2019 |
peacefull: Hard reach means difficult but that in itself isn't English, it is broken English ![]() maybe after English you will also learn broken English ![]() |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by Nobody: 7:29pm On Sep 04, 2019 |
peacefull: There's no need for you to apologise. English is not your first language so....... I wish you all the best in your learning adventure. |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by peacefull(f): 4:20am On Sep 06, 2019 |
nurey: Thank you! I learnt new English again. I appreciate you!! English have many type of English? Slang, Pidgin English and broken English? Or more different type of English? |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by peacefull(f): 4:22am On Sep 06, 2019 |
ladiesreject: Thank you! I appreciate you!! I will keep continue to learn English ![]() |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by PierreAbutu(m): 7:31pm On Sep 06, 2019 |
peacefull: Sorry this is coming late I believe you are a Christian You have to pray well I have an ebook, titled: WOMEN INSIDE OUT You can buy it for him to read alongside the prayers I believe something positive will come out of it, if he understands you very well, like a woman should be understood The price is N2,500 |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by peacefull(f): 5:41am On Sep 07, 2019 |
PierreAbutu: I'm sorry. I'm not Christian. But Thank you so much for inform about book. I appreciate you! I think problem is me. My health is not so good and I think my heart was very weak when I joined here. I was feeling like he dumped me. I wrote about money is not I want money from him or not I had complain about spend my money for our life. I wanted him to understand about my situation. I wrote about gift is not I want gift from him. I liked gift for him and celebrate with him on special day. But he was not with me on special day many times. I was feeling like lonely. I wanted him to understand my feel. I wrote about he go to Nigeria is not I don't want him to go. I just couldn't understand that why he wanna stay in Nigeria 3moth and I was little bit doubt him. I wrote about separate living is not I didn't want him to get new work from another place. I wanted him to tell me more before. I wanted time for ready to separate living. So problem is me. I was selfish. I wanted him to understand me. I wanted him to stay with me. I wanted him to always there for me. I wanted be his special woman. I didn't want any women will take him away from me etc. I was very selfish. I thought I was always trying to understand him and I was always trying to do my best. But maybe not. I was just selfish and maybe I was not understand him. If he don't love me anymore, that's not his fault. My fault. Who want kind of wife? I really appreciate him. He still with me. He maybe had too much stress with me. He maybe wanted dump me. He maybe wanted divorce with me. I also don't remember how many times I was thinking about divorce with him before. But We are still together. Very calm now. Many times talking about our old days and laughing together. I really appreciate everybody who gave me advice. I can't explain well how much everybody helped me. If he really had wife and kids in Nigeria, I'm ready for allow it. I maybe will hurt, I maybe will cry, I maybe will get mad etc, I really don't know what will happen to me if he had wife and kids. But I'm ready for allow everything. I even told him that if he had kids, I wanna take care of his kid in Japan when we have enough money for kid if mother(his wife) will accept it. But He denying about everything. He said he don't have wife and kids in Nigeria. I have to trust him. But I wanted him to know I'm ready for everything. So he don't need worry about or stress about that. But if he is just playing, I mean cheating, I don't wanna know. I don't need to know. I just don't want sick. Anyway, Thank you so much! I really appreciate you!! I'm so sorry for I can't buy your book. I'm the one who have problem. Not my husband. 2 Likes |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by nurey(m): 5:16pm On Sep 07, 2019 |
peacefull: pidgin English and broken English is samething, pidgin is the street name, broken is the Posh name. slang is just words used by age groups to feel fly ![]() |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by PierreAbutu(m): 9:09pm On Sep 07, 2019 |
peacefull: I never said any of you has any problem I said the book will help your husband to understand you better, and all your perceived shortcomings Stay blessed |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by peacefull(f): 4:52am On Sep 08, 2019 |
nurey: Oh!!! Pidgin English and broken English is same? I learned a lot again! Thank you so much! I really appreciate you!! Please if not disturbing you or not bothering you, I want you to teach me about meaning of chinko. I saw that word on this Website many times. Seems like not good word for Japanese and Chinese or for Asians. But I still don't know real meaning. Is that Pidgin English or Nigerian language? Bad name for Asian peoples? In Japan, chinko mean is men's private parts. So I was very surprised when I saw that word at first. And very interesting to me about Japan and Nigeria have same word! I'm sorry for disturbing you again. |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by peacefull(f): 5:45am On Sep 08, 2019 |
PierreAbutu: I know you didn't say I have problem. Why I wrote it because I just wanted you to know about I'm the one who have problem. I think, I have to think about my bad point again before demand him to understand me. I maybe didn't respect him? I maybe didn't understand him? I maybe didn't appreciate him? I maybe didn't love him well? I maybe hurt him? I maybe didn't care him well? I maybe didn't help him when he needed help?etc. I have to face myself. I maybe very lucky woman. Because he is still with me. So I still have chance to show him my try in our marriage. I thought 15years together is long relationship. But many peoples especially elder peoples are stay together more than 40years, 50years, 60years etc. So 15years is still short time if think about elders. We are still only 15years together. So I still have chance to make more good relationship with him at least during he stay with me. I have to think about myself again. Anyway, I really appreciate you about inform that book. Thank you so much! If I made you feel bad, I'm so sorry. I never meant make you feel bad. But if I did it, I'm apologies you. I'm sorry. |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by nurey(m): 6:21am On Sep 08, 2019 |
peacefull: The word chinko is a Nigerian slang which means "inferior product" it was born out of the fact that Nigerians believe a lot of cloned fake products come from China especially during the reign of Android phones back then. So when a product or goods is tagged chinko, it means the product is of less quality than market specs |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by peacefull(f): 4:28pm On Sep 08, 2019 |
nurey: Wow ![]() Thank you so much! I learned a lot from you. I really really appreciate you! Very interesting. Same word but different meaning! I'm sorry for disturbing you many times. Thank you so much for taking your time. I appreciate you!! 1 Like |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by IceColdVeins(m): 8:24pm On Oct 10, 2019 |
Can you tell us your age and that of your husband? peacefull: |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by April2525: 8:50pm On Oct 10, 2019 |
Hello beautiful, This is the truth; he used you to get a permanent stay in Japan I mean he just moved into your house? How lucky of him to get free accommodation. He doesn't foot any bill because he sees you as his ATM. He has a wife and children in nigeria, he planned this all for his selfish interest. Now I have some questions for you darling, do you love yourself? Do you think highly of your self? Apparently being a single mum made your self esteem low and you settled for less than you deserved. That relationship is a sham, Please release yourself love yourself and love your beautiful child. 2 Likes |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by Nobody: 8:53pm On Oct 10, 2019 |
Such a pity. A good even submissive Japanese lady and the Nigerian cheating husband. She mentioned somewhere, they are the same age, and now she is so brainwashed that she even accepts to be a part of his harem, she even wants to take care of his kids from another woman and accepts him cheating and keeping their marriage accepting his Nigerian wife or wives. She is wrong saying because she is poor, he has no benefits from her. He got his legal stay in Japan, he has the place to stay with her if he wants, he has the free sex when he wants and she blames herself it's all her fault he is cheating. Sorry for her, she has low self esteem. 1 Like |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by peacefull(f): 3:58am On Oct 11, 2019 |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by peacefull(f): 4:45am On Oct 11, 2019 |
April2525: Hello! Thank you for your advice. I appreciate you! My husband paying house rent bill for me. We are not living together now. But he still paying it every month. Not easy to do that. I appreciate him for assist me. Only when he go to Nigeria and stay there, he can't do that. But if I had enough money, I don't need ask him to help me. I'm the one who is disturbing and bothering him. If he has a wife and kids in Nigeria, maybe he has too much stress for still married with me. Hiding it from me, lie to me, spend money for both women etc. That is also not easy to do that. Pity. And Yes! I think I love myself. I'm always thankful for what I have. I know my flaw and I hate my flaw. But I'm face to my flaw. My child is my everything! I'm proud of my child! I'm proud of myself about I'm my child's mother! My child is my treasure! I never ever had regret about chose to birth my child alone. I never ever had shame on my life. Shame on that guy and his peoples who demanded me to abort my child and demanded me to marry with him! Anyway, Thank you so much! I really appreciate you!! 2 Likes |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by peacefull(f): 6:01am On Oct 11, 2019 |
123JohnF: Thank you for writing it. I appreciate you! Am I brainwashed? About my husband? He still not say he is married in Nigeria. I'm still trying to trust him. It was so hurt and too much suffering me about decided to allow everything. But sometimes deny something is more suffering than allow it. I took long time. In fact, I still wishing about he is not married in Nigeria and he has no any other women. I just want peaceful life and I just want peace of mind. Same thing for him. I want him to have peaceful life and I want him to always have peace of his mind. But if he really had kids, that kids are also my kids too. And we must not involve kids in adult's problem. I must thinking about them. I can't ignore. I will not try to take away kids from their mother. But if my husband, his wife and their kids want me to take care of kids, I will do. But I can't take care of his woman. I don't wanna do. But if that woman don't know he is married with me, I'm so sorry for her. Really sorry. That's so hurt. I'm not rich woman. So if talk about money, he has no benefit from me. He stay in legal in Japan is I think he could get same thing if he married with another Japanese woman. My place is he is paying it. So here is his place and his house. I'm living his place. What is free sex? Sex is important and good communicate for husband and wife. If he has benefit from sex with me, I think I also have benefit from sex with him. Or this thinking is wrong? I don't know about benefit. Really confusing me ![]() My husband is not bad person. He is a good person. Anyway, Thank you so much! I really appreciate you!! 3 Likes |
Re: Pls, I Want To Know About Nigerian Marriage Life. by Emmyk(m): 11:14am On Jan 20, 2020 |
Your English has improved over the years. I went from the first page of this thread to the last. Good to know you are happy now. ![]() |
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