I'm sorry if I'm bothering you but I just want to know that I did all I could. If this doesn't work then I guess i can finally be free.
I've been battling depression for a long time now and I've had series of suicidal thoughts. Last night I took enough aspirin pills to kill me but I woke up this morning and I was so angry and frustrated that my feelings went numb. I am tired. Then I thought maybe God kept me alive for a reason but I still can't think of any reason yet. I am scared to die but scared to live too and that's why I need help. I've been too tired to think of any other way to kill myself so right now I'm just trying to survive.
I still hope the aspirin pills would work later and kill me cuz I'm sure that I took enough to kill me and I'm still surprised I'm still living.

I understand that life can be very tough but you have to realize that suicide is not the answer.. Can you tell us the source of your depression??

Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles.

Hello, pls don't take your life, try and consider how much pain you'll cause your loved ones if you do this. All hope is not lost, just choose to live and not give up.

I won't say it has a cause but I can tell you a few things that led to my depression. I've always been a good student, among the top 3 in the class but everyday I wish I could go back and be a normal average student. The pressure from everyone is too much!!
I'm like an outsider in my own home. I was about 5 years old when I thought I was adopted. My parents have told me many times how I don't act like any of them.
I was bullied in school cuz I had late puberty and It killed my confidence.
I never want to love again cuz I never want to get heartbroken again.
Everytime I can't stop thinking about my future and how all my efforts would be wasted just because I was born in Nigeria.
I'm sorry but I find it hard to answer this question without making it lenghty so I would just stop now and let you know that depression is never really caused by a single thing but a lot of things that just keeps filling your cup it fills and overflow and then you find yourself drowning in sadness and pain.
I'm sorry this is lengthy

Jennifer129:
I'm sorry if I'm bothering you but I just want to know that I did all I could. If this doesn't work then I guess i can finally be free.
I've been battling depression for a long time now and I've had series of suicidal thoughts. Last night I took enough aspirin pills to kill me but I woke up this morning and I was so angry and frustrated that my feelings went numb. I am tired. Then I thought maybe God kept me alive for a reason but I still can't think of any reason yet. I am scared to die but scared to live too and that's why I need help. I've been too tired to think of any other way to kill myself so right now I'm just trying to survive.
I still hope the aspirin pills would work later and kill me cuz I'm sure that I took enough to kill me and I'm still surprised I'm still living.

Some months back a girl made similar complain though to a guy and she ended up committing the suicide.

I bashed the guy vehemently for negligence. And as such I think another case has presented itself again. Now I won't tell u not to kill ur self and I won't tell you to kill yourself but listen my dear. Living alone is enough reason to not want to die.

Depression is real. I've been there, I've had suicide thoughts but fighting what ties u down is what make u strong. Obviously God is merciful to u. Remember he has good plans for u perhaps that's the reason for ur failed suicide attempts. END IT NOW. Don't try it again.

Please let's help this person o.

Hello Beautiful...(frm d name)

Yes you are!! Can you look at yourself in the mirror and SMILE �� and say..
I AM STRONG and CAN OVERCOME THIS

Thank You for doing this...

Is there anyone close ,parent,sibling,friend,classmate you can talk to and not be judge? Please meet/call that person ,don't STAY ALONE . Tell that person to hold/hug you and if it means just crying your heart out,DO SO.

Then TALK on the issue making you depressed,Please if you don't speak out,nobody can read minds..

After you unburden your mind,then solutions can be proffered..

Like you rightly stated some don't overcome an overdose,you did..
You are a Fighter, then count the things you are GRATEFUL for,believe me there are millions who wish to be there..

If you believe in PRAYERs, do so...

I didn't say it's going to be easy but I know there CAN BE LIGHT at the end of this DARK TUNNEL...

Please STAY STRONG..

Kehinde41:
Hello, pls don't take your life, try and consider how much pain you'll cause your loved ones if you do this. All hope is not lost, just choose to live and not give up.

No one would miss me. I planned it out very well. I stopped talking to my friends for months now so they don't even remember me, my parents have three children that they actually love, two girls and a boy, it's a perfect family without me.
I've given my journal to a trusted friend and I'm sure she'll keep it well and I've passed my WAEC, neco and post UTME exams so I've repaid my parents for all the money they used to educate me.
Also I'm introverted so I don't have much people who would miss my presence. Now is the perfect time to leave but my aspirins didn't work and I'm just really tired even too tired to die.

Sweetheart,Its a free world.You have your choices to make.
but can i tell You that You Dont let anyone's opinion of You determine how You live.
I want You to Go out and Learn a skill.I said outside because i'd like You to meet new ppl,form rshps(friendship),laugh,joke etc.Also a skill would keep You away from that deadly thought.

I will Miss You cos You are important to me,us and God.
The world is a Happy place If You Learn to Enjoy it.

How do You see it?

Jennifer129:


No one would miss me. I planned it out very well. I stopped talking to my friends for months now so they don't even remember me, my parents have three children that they actually love, two girls and a boy, it's a perfect family without me.
I've given my journal to a trusted friend and I'm sure she'll keep it well and I've passed my WAEC, neco and post UTME exams so I've repaid my parents for all the money they used to educate me.
Also I'm introverted so I don't have much people who would miss my presence. Now is the perfect time to leave but my aspirins didn't work and I'm just really tired even too tired to die.

Can I talk to you on phone..

It's not like I haven't tried. I promise I have tried and tried for months to fight back. Few days ago I was happy. The happiest I've been in a long time but then something just changed. Like something came inside of me and has refused to leave. This constant tiredness and sadness. I try not to think at all but my thoughts are yelling at me and I can't shut them up. It's not as easy as you think. It's a battle that can't be won cuz I already lost a long time ago.

Jennifer129:
It's not like I haven't tried. I promise I have tried and tried for months to fight back. Few days ago I was happy. The happiest I've been in a long time but then something just changed. Like something came inside of me and has refused to leave. This constant tiredness and sadness. I try not to think at all but my thoughts are yelling at me and I can't shut them up. It's not as easy as you think. It's a battle that can't be won cuz I already lost a long time ago.

Hear the word of the Sovereign LORD O simple one:

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.--Jeremiah 29:11

Others were given in exchange for you. I traded their lives for yours because you are precious to me. You are honored, and I love you.--Isaiah 43:4

If only you had paid attention to my commands, your peace would have been like a river, and your well-being like the waves of the sea.--Isaiah--48:18

Submit to God and be at peace with him; in this way all will be well with you.--Job 22:21

The ear that listens to the reproves of life abides among the wise!!!

Please don't give up. There is still a destiny for you to fulfill in life. Think of life that you can encourage and give hope to if you can hold on. Think of generations that are supposed to come through, if only you can be alive. I can assure you it is not over yet because there is morning after night. Jesus loves you, that is why he gave His life for you. Cast your burden unto Jesus because , He is a burden bearer and a counsellor. Just give Him a chance in your life and it shall be well with you. Cheers. Please if it is possible you can drop your no for those of us who will like to call and cheer you up.

Jennifer129:
It's not like I haven't tried. I promise I have tried and tried for months to fight back. Few days ago I was happy. The happiest I've been in a long time but then something just changed. Like something came inside of me and has refused to leave. This constant tiredness and sadness. I try not to think at all but my thoughts are yelling at me and I can't shut them up. It's not as easy as you think. It's a battle that can't be won cuz I already lost a long time ago.

Hello dear, Kindly try to let go of such negative thoughts. I understand what you going through cos I have experienced them all but I've never ever thought about ending my own life no matter how hard things got. You are stronger than you know. Kindly change ur environment. Travel, go visit friends.

Jennifer129:
I'm sorry if I'm bothering you but I just want to know that I did all I could. If this doesn't work then I guess i can finally be free.
I've been battling depression for a long time now and I've had series of suicidal thoughts. Last night I took enough aspirin pills to kill me but I woke up this morning and I was so angry and frustrated that my feelings went numb. I am tired. Then I thought maybe God kept me alive for a reason but I still can't think of any reason yet. I am scared to die but scared to live too and that's why I need help. I've been too tired to think of any other way to kill myself so right now I'm just trying to survive.
I still hope the aspirin pills would work later and kill me cuz I'm sure that I took enough to kill me and I'm still surprised I'm still living.

Why would you want to kill yourself.

Life too sweet abeg .

Everyone of us has gone through difficult times and you don't see us commiting suicide.

The richest men of today have once gone through difficult challenges.

Drop your account number make I send you wetin you go use chop chicken and chips with 5 alive.

Commit suicide and upgrade to next level of suffering when you die

Just finished reading a thread about children of 80s vs now. This is a clear example all those things you wrote there are those once worth dying for ? See thank your God you still have parents thank your God you have brother and sisters Thank him for you can still open your mouth and eat hold phone and type this rubbish. Infact I no fit yarn I de para.

wanderrerr:
Hello Beautiful...(frm d name)

Yes you are!! Can you look at yourself in the mirror and SMILE �� and say..
I AM STRONG and CAN OVERCOME THIS

Thank You for doing this...

Is there anyone close ,parent,sibling,friend,classmate you can talk to and not be judge? Please meet/call that person ,don't STAY ALONE . Tell that person to hold/hug you and if it means just crying your heart out,DO SO.

Then TALK on the issue making you depressed,Please if you don't speak out,nobody can read minds..

After you unburden your mind,then solutions can be proffered..

Like you rightly stated some don't overcome an overdose,you did..
You are a Fighter, then count the things you are GRATEFUL for,believe me there are millions who wish to be there..

If you believe in PRAYERs, do so...

I didn't say it's going to be easy but I know there CAN BE LIGHT at the end of this DARK TUNNEL...

Please STAY STRONG..

I really love the way you outlined your advice to her. I guess you must be a counselor

Jennifer129:
I won't say it has a cause but I can tell you a few things that led to my depression. I've always been a good student, among the top 3 in the class but everyday I wish I could go back and be a normal average student. The pressure from everyone is too much!!
I'm like an outsider in my own home. I was about 5 years old when I thought I was adopted. My parents have told me many times how I don't act like any of them.
I was bullied in school cuz I had late puberty and It killed my confidence.
I never want to love again cuz I never want to get heartbroken again.
Everytime I can't stop thinking about my future and how all my efforts would be wasted just because I was born in Nigeria.
I'm sorry but I find it hard to answer this question without making it lenghty so I would just stop now and let you know that depression is never really caused by a single thing but a lot of things that just keeps filling your cup it fills and overflow and then you find yourself drowning in sadness and pain.
I'm sorry this is lengthy

I am trying to understand what's wrong here:

1. You are an A student
2. Your parents said you don't behave like any of them. In what way? Examples?
3. You were bullied because you were a late bloomer
4. You were heartbroken by a sweet talker you shouldn't get involved in
5. You are scared of your future because you were born in Nigeria. How are your parents doing? What is your definition of success? What do you think stops you from achieving it as a Nigerian?

Can you please answer my questions?

Jennifer129:


No one would miss me. I planned it out very well. I stopped talking to my friends for months now so they don't even remember me, my parents have three children that they actually love, two girls and a boy, it's a perfect family without me.
I've given my journal to a trusted friend and I'm sure she'll keep it well and I've passed my WAEC, neco and post UTME exams so I've repaid my parents for all the money they used to educate me.
Also I'm introverted so I don't have much people who would miss my presence. Now is the perfect time to leave but my aspirins didn't work and I'm just really tired even too tired to die.

You think passing your final exams is repayment for all the labour of live and sacrifices your parents have invested in you.

How does the certificates exactly benefit them?

And why do you think your parents don't love you?

Have they invested more in your siblings than yourself?

If yes, why?

Well, people that commit suicide are the most selfish, self obsessed people in this world. Just look at the reasons you wrote out. You are a foolish and ungrateful child.. You passed waec and so, did ur parents fail theirs?
Get off your own mind girl..
Leave ur room, stop thinking of yourself...learn to count your blessings
End your day with a thank you letter to God ..thanks for every little thing you observed for the day...
Start your day with meditation..Let light into my heart. darkness cannot comprehend light...
Let your light shine forth, girl...there is beauty in ur ashes..

Let's see your picture nah.

Suicide is not and never an option, honey

My dear,go to a close by hospital(s) and visit all the patients in each ward.You can also visit an orphanage home(s) and while you are on it, visit a cemetery too. Afterwards, you are free to do whatever you think is right. Its a free world.

Hello beautiful. Since you've tried several things and they're not working, please try and see a psychologist asap. Please. I think it's gotten to a stage where you can't handle it alone. Talk to someone you trust who can help you get a psychologist so you start seeing one asap. Your parents, any trusted family member or even a friend. Please dear. Death will come at its appointed time. Don't kill yourself. Don't just stay indoors and say you're trying to fight it. Seek help. Speak out. We love you.

rawitools:
Just finished reading a thread about children of 80s vs now. This is a clear example all those things you wrote there are those once worth dying for ? See thank your God you still have parents thank your God you have brother and sisters Thank him for you can still open your mouth and eat hold phone and type this rubbish. Infact I no fit yarn I de para.

I don't know what your life is like but you sure sound like a saddist. People are different and have different problems. This is not a situation where you start lamenting on how horrible your life is and how wonderful her life is. If you were not half as selfish as you are you would show a little concern for this child.
Also if anything happens to this child, MARK MY WORDS, you would have yourself to blame cuz you have indirectly contributed to whatever trouble she is facing.

Please what has gotten into some people. A suicidal child is here seeking help from people and some people don't have anything else important to do but to insult her condition. Please keep your hateful comments to yourself.
As for you Jennifer, I want you to know that there is more to life than what you face. Life is wicked , yes but life is also wonderful and amazing, you just have to go out and open up your heart to the good things of life.
Suicide is never and option it's just going to steal the beautiful life you have ahead of you.
Please you should get some help. Go to friends, family, a counselor.
Nigeria helplines
Lagos suicide hotlines, by the Lagos State Government: 08058820777 and 09030000741
– “through which residents can ask questions, make inquiries and seek help from professionals early enough to allow for appropriate intervention.”
LUTH Suicide Research and Prevention Initiative (SURPIN): 09080217555, 09034400009, 08111909909 and 07013811143.
This is apparently a private NGO called Nigeria Suicide Prevention Initiative. Not an institution we know, but many people have referred to them on credible platforms: 08062106493, 08092106493
VTG: (+234) 810 857 2839

I hope you get better.

Jennifer129:
I'm sorry if I'm bothering you but I just want to know that I did all I could. If this doesn't work then I guess i can finally be free.
I've been battling depression for a long time now and I've had series of suicidal thoughts. Last night I took enough aspirin pills to kill me but I woke up this morning and I was so angry and frustrated that my feelings went numb. I am tired. Then I thought maybe God kept me alive for a reason but I still can't think of any reason yet. I am scared to die but scared to live too and that's why I need help. I've been too tired to think of any other way to kill myself so right now I'm just trying to survive.
I still hope the aspirin pills would work later and kill me cuz I'm sure that I took enough to kill me and I'm still surprised I'm still living.

How can i reach you Jennifer?
Would love to but can't use the built-in messaging service here

Jennifer129:


No one would miss me. I planned it out very well. I stopped talking to my friends for months now so they don't even remember me, my parents have three children that they actually love, two girls and a boy, it's a perfect family without me.
I've given my journal to a trusted friend and I'm sure she'll keep it well and I've passed my WAEC, neco and post UTME exams so I've repaid my parents for all the money they used to educate me.
Also I'm introverted so I don't have much people who would miss my presence. Now is the perfect time to leave but my aspirins didn't work and I'm just really tired even too tired to die.

Aspirin wouldn't kill you easily but I can recommend a better drug to do the job and you can get it easily in "chemist" shops because Nigeria is a hellhole where drugs are sold anyhow by just anybody...I'm just joking sha.

But why would a beautiful girl like you want to commit suicide, with all the greatness I can see all over you!?
Now listen to me and listen good; great people go through all sorts of challenges at their formative years and only those who refuse to give in to those challenges that live to tell stories of the years of trials. I hope you understand my point!

rawitools:
Just finished reading a thread about children of 80s vs now. This is a clear example all those things you wrote there are those once worth dying for ? See thank your God you still have parents thank your God you have brother and sisters Thank him for you can still open your mouth and eat hold phone and type this rubbish. Infact I no fit yarn I de para.

You can never really understand a person until you crawl into their skin and walk around in it.

The same '80s you are here glorifying had people with severe depression. Unfortunately, they died in silence.

Now, this kid has the opportunity, and prudent enough, to raise alarm, and you are here trying to dissuade her. Shame on you!

ottiz:


You can never really understand a person until you crawl into their skin and walk around in it.

The same '80s you are here glorifying had people with severe depression. Unfortunately, they died in silence.

Now, this kid has the opportunity, and prudent enough, to raise alarm, and you are here trying to dissuade her. Shame on you!

keep massaging her thoughts. What has she seen in life I wish I had the parents number self nonsense I hate chicken heart people like this what has she been through ? People fall and the get up that's life for you.

Jennifer129:
I'm sorry if I'm bothering you but I just want to know that I did all I could. If this doesn't work then I guess i can finally be free.
I've been battling depression for a long time now and I've had series of suicidal thoughts. Last night I took enough aspirin pills to kill me but I woke up this morning and I was so angry and frustrated that my feelings went numb. I am tired. Then I thought maybe God kept me alive for a reason but I still can't think of any reason yet. I am scared to die but scared to live too and that's why I need help. I've been too tired to think of any other way to kill myself so right now I'm just trying to survive.
I still hope the aspirin pills would work later and kill me cuz I'm sure that I took enough to kill me and I'm still surprised I'm still living.

Hi Jennifer, please respond to your mail.

rawitools:
keep massaging her thoughts. What has she seen in life I wish I had the parents number self nonsense I hate chicken heart people like this what has she been through ? People fall and the get up that's life for you.

You are missing the point. Depression has nothing to do with what each of us has seen in life. It is more about our individual make up, biochemically.

We all have demons in us, but we each handle these demons differently. That your physiological make-up makes it easier for you to handle your own demons should not make you poke fun or make light of others' demons.

If you cannot feel what she is feeling, then you can't understand what she is going through.

The best thing you can do for her is to either not comment or tell her (or anyone in her situation) that the feeling will eventually pass on, especially if she voices it out to someone that would not judge her.

You know, alot of people have lost the will to live, they have found suicide as a way to end it and get out of it all. Truth is I dont blame them, If I was suffering depression I may have also considered suicide to end things too.

Here is where it gets interesting, If it was up to me I’ld say “kill yourself”. Oh! You already tried that and it didn’t work.

Uhm! Now lets look at a different approach to things then, first your attempt didn’t work, that should tell you something. “Its not easy killing one’s self”, think about it for a second, you die and thats it! Do you really want to go with that option? Think of the things you’d miss, the wonders of this world you are yet to experience, the joy and happiness future events will bring, the feeling of being alive, hope.

This is what I want you to do. Get a sheet of paper, write a safety plan for the times when you feel like acting on your suicidal thoughts. Your safety plan could involve delaying any suicidal attempt by at least 48 hours, and then talk to someone about your thoughts and feelings as soon as possible.

1. Read through the list of positive things about yourself.

2. Read through the list of positive things about your life and remind yourself of the things that have so far prevented you from committing suicide.

3. Distract yourself from suicidal thoughts by reading a book, listening to classical music, playing a video game or watching your favorite movie or comedy.

4. Get a good night’s sleep. Take a sleeping tablet if necessary.

5. Think about those things that once made you happy, relive them in your mind

6. Get an old friend or make a new one that would bring excitement to your life.

7. Dream of a future, of a tomorrow for yourself and lastly try to begin to appreciate the world around you. The little things of life.

I was really trying not to write a lengthy reply, at least not to make you bored, but the bottom line is, suicide isn’t the end, It is just a cowardly route of running away from your troubles, face it head on and you’d thank yourself for it.